Elizabeth
|
2: Mel's Final Diaper: Variation on a ThemeMel's hands froze around her pencil, her grip tightening ever so slightly. She should have known better than to listen to Eth; she should always know better than to listen to Eth, really, but this time was different. Eth -had- to sit with these other girls... If they had just sat at one of the half empty tables where, even as she thought about it, she could see a group of boys throwing wads of paper at each other, despite their teacher's continued warnings, this would have never happened. She wasn't particularly fond of sitting with boys - too rowdy, and noisy, and obnoxious - but at least they didn't feel the need to talk all the time.
"Mel? Hello?" one of the girls, Aimee, maybe, giggled, which only started the other girls giggling as well. Except for Eth, who had a weird kind of half smile on her face that Mel couldn't quite decipher. It almost looked like she was enjoying all this, that she was all too happy not to answer for Mel this time, as she usually did. Mel turned her eyes to her friend pleadingly, begging her to say something, or at least give them an excuse to change tables.
Eth opened her mouth finally, and for a few moments, Mel thought she may have taken mercy on her. "You have to excuse Mel... She sometimes forgets how to talk." The other girls' giggles grew louder and louder as Eth continued. "You see, Mel, the first step is opening your mouth..."
Mel tore her eyes, widening with anger, but not particularly surprise, away from Eth, looked down at the empty piece of paper sitting in front of her instead. "I'm not getting my dad anything for Father's Day," she said in her usual quiet school voice, refusing to show any signs that her only friend, if that's really what she was, was getting to her. "I haven't seen him for two years."
The other girls grew quiet, nervously glancing from one to another. Except for Eth, of course, to whom this came as no surprise, since she had already known all about it. "I'm... sorry..." Aimee said finally, to her credit actually sounding as if she might be.
Mel shrugged uncomfortably. Why were they all still looking at her? Were they expecting more to the story? Did they want all the details? Because she sure wasn't offering them. It would have been simple enough to explain - he met a woman online, decided he loved her more than he loved Mel or her mom, and abandoned them. Easy as that. But explaining it would mean talking, and being the center of attention for even longer, and that she didn't want. She concentrated harder on her paper, doing her best to pretend she didn't have five sets of eyes staring at her.
"'Bye," Eth repeated patronizingly, giving a tiny wave of her hand as Mel grabbed her backpack and walked towards the front of the bus, ignoring the sound of laughing from behind her as she stumbled on some kid's outstretched leg. Another day, another bus ride over, she sighed with relief, stepping off the last step onto her front lawn. Only five or so more years, plus the last week of this school year, to go. And to think, she had actually been happy to have school canceled so much for snow earlier in the year... Now she wished they had gone then, instead of having to still be going now.
She turned in a circle on her lawn, breathing in the fresh air around her, cleansed, and made not nearly as hot as the last few days, by the brief spot of rain earlier. The weather man on the news had been predicting storms for almost every day of the week, but this one had been the first to actually show up. If the ground hadn't been so soaked, or she hadn't minded getting mud all over her jeans, she would have sat outside to do her homework.
Instead, she headed over to her front door, and found it locked, to her surprise. Her mom must have just forgotten to unlock it for her, she reasoned, fishing through her pockets for her key. As she entered, she could see the living room was empty, and so was the kitchen, she observed as she sat her backpack down on the table. Her heart jumped for a moment as she began to head down the hallway towards her room, her door standing much further open than she had left it that morning.
"Mom?" she called, curiously edging closer.
"Oh, there you are, Mel," her mom said suddenly, stepping out of the doorway.
"Umm... Hi," Mel replied nervously. There was something about her mom, something not quite normal...
"Mel, I was cleaning out your closet today, and I found... Well..." her mom stepped aside, gesturing to Mel's bed, where all of the babyish things Mel had collected were laid out, on display almost. Her sailor dress, even shorter on her now than it had been back on Mother's Day, when she'd almost given in to her plan to tell her mom, her little pink training potty, her pacifier, her Mary Janes, her one remaining diaper.
"Look, mom, I can explain!" Mel exclaimed quickly, stepping into her room, her brain racing to figure out what to say, how to say it. Should she come out and admit her desire to be a baby again, like she'd wanted to for so long?
"You don't need to explain, honey," her mom told her gently, reached out to brush a strand of Mel's wild, brown hair out of her flustered, confused face, her hands moving downward and, just as gently, forcing her daughter to sit down on her bed. "I think I can see what this is all about."
"Well, you see..." Mel began, was silenced by her mom's finger pressed across her lips.
"We'll talk in a minute, baby," she assured her, hands migrating now to Mel's jeans, which she started to unbutton and unzip. "Right after I get you all diapered up, okay?"
"Okay," Mel said dreamily, her cheeks heating up as she heard her own voice echoing in her ears. She hadn't realized she was speaking out loud... Mom was going to think she was crazy if she had heard.
She flopped down on her bed, trying to decide whether she wanted to sleep for a little while before starting her homework or not, and leaning towards the former, when she noticed a folded piece of paper resting on the pillow next to her, most likely the reason her door had been opened further. She reached over to grab it, rolling over onto her back, slowly unfolding the letter.
"Dear Mel -
"I am very disappointed in you, young lady. How long have you had that stuff in your closet? Did you really think I wouldn't find out? Did you steal it, too?
"I don't want to hear any excuses about why you have it; I simply don't care. You have it, and so, you're going to use it. All of it, for as long as I feel is necessary.
"As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm not there at the moment. I've gone out to buy you more diapers, because you're going to be needing them, along with a few nice, new outfits that I'm sure you'll enjoy as much as that dress in there. Since I'm adding the price of the things I buy to what you already owe me, I wouldn't be expecting an allowance for a long time if I were you. When I get back, I had better find you in a diaper already, or I'll be the one picking out your outfits for the rest of the school year, as I plan to for the summer, and I can promise you that you wouldn't find that enjoyable.
"If you care to check, you'll find the bathroom door locked. You won't be needing to go in there anymore, not for a long time. I'll be talking to your teachers as well, telling them to keep an eye on you at school, to prevent any illicit trips to the bathroom during the day. You know perfectly well what those diapers are for, and, believe me, you -will- be getting rather full use out of them.
"Now, get yourself into a diaper. I imagine you have to use the bathroom after your bus ride, don't you? Well, you know what to do. I had better find a wet diaper on your butt when I get home. There's a bottle full of apple juice in the refrigerator for you that had better be empty, too. I'll know if you just try to pour it out. (Probably some kind of sedative to make her go to sleep, Mel mused. Or some new drug to make her incontinent...)
"See you soon, Mom."
The letter was much less interesting than she had imagined, sadly. Nothing ever worked out like in the stories for her.
"Hey, Mel,
"Work called in, and they need me to work until seven. I'm sorry about this, but I'm sure you'll be fine. There's some food in the fridge, and if you need anything, or just don't want to be alone, you can go over to Mrs. Herbert's house. I'm sure she'd love the company!
"Love you, Mom."
Mel rolled her eyes as she wadded up the paper and threw it in the general area of her trash can. It actually came closer than most things, bouncing off the side of her desk and rebounding just shy of the edge of the trash. She was twelve and a half, she scoffed, not some seven year old. She could handle being alone in her own house for a few hours.
Heck, she'd even enjoy it. She'd enjoy the hell out of it! She hopped off of her bed and over to her closet door, open just a hair, like she always left it. Inside was her package of diapers, all but empty now, other than the story she'd shoved into the package a couple months before. Just one diaper left, after she had worn one on Mother's Day, in the faint hope that this time, her mom would actually notice it, unlike all the other times Mel had worn around her. Of course, her mom was absolutely clueless, even after Mel had wet it while sitting beside her on the couch. How could her mom be so blind?! Moms were supposed to have some kind of radar about this sort of thing, where they could instantly tell if their kid was back in diapers... Where was hers?
Mel fished the last diaper out and crouched there in her closet for a long moment, just staring at it, debating. This would be the perfect time to wear it - the whole house to herself. She wouldn't even have to wear any pants or anything over it. It would be just like she was a toddler again, at least for a little while. There were some fish sticks and tater tots in the freezer, if she remembered correctly. Those were bound to be more babyish fare than whatever her mom had made for her, if she hadn't just been referring to leftovers in the letter. Oh, and applesauce! They had a nice big jar of it waiting to be opened. What could be more perfect?
She nodded to herself, resolved to do this thing, and do it right. A proper send off for the end of an era, the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until her allowance was reinstated, and she had time to bike down to the drug store.
She had laid the diaper down on her bed, and was in the process of pulling down her jeans when the phone rang. She froze in place as if she had been caught, hurriedly tossing her pillow on top of the diaper and pulling her pants back up. The phone always made her nervous when she was home alone. There was just something creepy about hearing that ringing in her house, when all she was expecting was silence. Even though she knew there was nobody there, it made her feel like she was being watched.
She ventured out to the living room to watch the phone, waiting for the answering machine to kick in. It was most likely her mom, she figured, calling in to make sure she'd gotten home from school all right. She rolled her eyes; mom treated her like such a baby. And, at the same time, like not enough of one.
The ringing finally stopped, and the message began to play. Mel's hand hovered over the receiver, waiting to pick it up at the sound of her mom's voice identifying itself, but instead, there was a strangely familiar sigh and a click. Mel shrugged, started to head back to her room, when the phone rang again.
She turned around, chewing her lower lip slightly. Should she answer it? If it was her mom, then she might not be happy to be ignored... She might even get worried and come back from work to check on her daughter, only to find her sitting at the kitchen table in a diaper and eating applesauce with her fingers. In the back of her mind, Mel almost wished that would happen, but at the front of her mind...
The answering machine's message began to play again. She picked up the phone, tentatively pressed it to her ear.
"Hello?" she said quietly.
The voice on the other end of the line was something she never would have imagined, something she wouldn't even dare to fantasize about.
"Mel?" asked her dad. "Is that you, baby?"
"Daddy?" she breathed, heart fluttering, too excited to be angry about all the things she should be mad about, like how he hadn't even called her on her last two birthdays, and how he had just left her alone with her mom. That stuff wasn't important, because... Because it was him.
It turned out her mind could fantasize about it after all.
"Mel? Are you feeling okay?" her mom asked, starting to sound worried. Hoe long had she been spacing out? Jeez...
"Yeah, I'm fine, mom," Mel sighed. Just perfect, she added silently.
By the time she returned to her room, and had moved her pillow from on top of the lone diaper, she was no longer in the mood to put it on, so she put it back in its package instead, wishing for a second or two the package was fuller so that the diaper was stand up easier. She hated seeing her clothes of any kind strewn about messily. When she had first bought the diapers, what had truly endeared the garments to her was the way they were folded and arranged so neatly in their package.
After that, she just wished the package was fuller so she could have more than one more opportunity left to indulge her infantile tendencies. Still, if she only had one more chance left, maybe it was better she didn't waste it today, when there were just a few hours to enjoy herself. Summer was coming up, after all, and then she wouldn't even have homework to bother her, while at the same time having more time alone in the house. The perfect opportunity for a good old fashioned diapering.
But just one.
"Come on, let's sit over there," Eth commanded, nodding over at a table across the crowded cafeteria. Mel recognized a few of the faces there, but none of the names came to her mind, other than Aimee's.
"Do we have to?" she asked, her stomach jumping a bit as she recalled the looks of sympathy from the day before. She didn't need tha; she was perfectly fine with her father gone. It was better that way, even.
"You can eat by yourself if you want," Eth shrugged, pushing through throngs of other kids already, leaving Mel little choice but to hurry and follow and her wake, lest she be trapped on the opposite end of the room.
"Hi," Aimee smiled as they approached, scooting over some so that Mel and Eth could sit beside each other.
"Hey," answered Eth as she slid onto the seat, glancing over her shoulder to see Mel standing there. "Oh, guess you decided to join us after all."
"I guess," Mel mumbled, setting her tray down. Would it have been better to eat by herself? Most likely, since it only took Eth a few minutes to steer their conversation in its inevitable direction.
"Any big plans for Sunday?" she grinned at Mel, obviously expecting her to get all uncomfortable again.
Aimee apparently anticipated that action, also. "All we've been talking about for the last few days is Father's Day. Why don't we talk about something else?" She threw a little half wink in Mel's direction.
Mel shrugged it off. "You can talk about it if you want."
Even Eth, who by all means should have been desensitized to it by now, seemed surprised by Mel's indifference. Mel stared down at her food, cursing herself for speaking up. Why did they all have to look at her? She wasn't by any means interesting, not at all.
Truth be told, she couldn't wait for Sunday to arrive now, after the news her mom brought home with her from work the night before. Mel was going to have the whole house to herself until 7 o'clock again. So she had plans for Father's Day after all, even if she would never dream of sharing them there, ones that made her happy, despite Eth's best attempts to anger her, or make her depressed, or whatever kind of reaction she was fishing for.
"Well, I think we're going to the zoo," Aimee spoke up, finally drawing the attention away from Mel.
"Do they still have the butterfly exhibit?" one of her friends giggled bubbly. "I saw it last time we went, and it was -awesome-..."
"Come on, Mel, wake up."
Mel groaned, rolled over in her bed, eyes starting to crack open. There was sunlight streaming in through her window. Morning already? Or afternoon, just about, from how bright it was... Not that it mattered anymore. School was over, and even if it hadn't been, it was the weekend - waking up was purely optional.
"Mel, come on."
"Fine," Mel sighed, opening her eyes a tad more as she sat up.
"You sure you're going to be all right today?" her mom asked, sitting down on the edge of Mel's bed.
If she had been more awake, Mel would have glared at her. As it was, she yawned instead. "I'll be fine."
Her mom leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Well, don't sleep all day. It's a nice day; you should play outside."
"Okay," Mel mumbled, kissing her mom on the cheek. She pretended to lay back down as her mom left the room, stayed there until she heard the front door closing. There was no time to sleep now. Valuable baby time was wasting.
It had been a matter of great debate if she should wear her full baby outfit, or just a T-shirt and diaper. Her reasoning from earlier in the week still held as far as eating went, but she didn't plan on eating the entire time... If only she had a bib, she mused. Then she wouldn't have to worry about messing up her dress.
She might as well wear the dress for a little while, she decided as she walked back to her room, munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to help get her mental juices kick started. It was shaping up to be another unbearably hot day outside, so she would probably want to change to just her T-shirt before it came time to eat supper anyway.
She opened her closet, brushing off the last few crumbs from her sandwich onto her pajamas, her eyes falling on the foot of an old teddy bear, tossed off to one side of the floor and mostly hidden behind a box of old magazines, instead of her slightly hidden stash.
"Mr. Wubbles," she said quietly. She'd forgotten about him... It seemed like forever since she'd thrown him in there.
She knelt down, fishing out her formerly favorite stuffed animal out of the corner. She brushed some dust from his face, readjusted the ribbon (a bow tie, she remembered justifying it as) around his neck. She could still remember her eighth birthday, when she had opened the box with him inside. A gift from her father.
"Hi, Mr. Wubbles," she smiled shyly, hugging the bear and snuggling her face deep into his fur. "Sorry to keep you in here so long."
She remembered the smile on her father's face as she ran over to him after opening the box, as she threw her arms around him and told him how much she loved him.
She almost set the beat back down in the closet before she started to reason with herself. She had put Mr. Wubbles in there because he reminded her of her dad... She had found him again on Father's Day... Maybe that wasn't a coincidence. And even if it wasn't... Maybe it wouldn't hurt to remember some stuff about her dad. The good stuff, anyway.
"Well, I've never seen such disrespect in all my life," she said in a gruff voice, waving Mr. Wubbles's paw at herself like he was scolding her.
"I'm sorry," she pouted.
She made Mr. Wubbles shake his head, as much as he could, at any rate. "Sorry? I don't think that's good enough. I've never seen a baby girl act like that... Maybe you could learn a lesson from that."
"From what?" Mel asked, pretending to be confused. "There's no baby girls here..."
"There is now," she replied in her Mr. Wubbles voice. "You."
"Me?" Mel stood up, clearly shocked and outraged at this suggestion, reaching out for the hanger with her sailor dress on it with the hand Mr. Wubbles wasn't resting in. "But..."
Her conversation was halted for a moment as she struggled to get her pacifier from around the neck of the hanger and put it into her mouth. She made her eyes go all wide as Mr. Wubbles, now a bit muffled, told her, "No buts, young lady, except for yours getting into a diaper."
She was too busy sucking on her pacifier to reply verbally, but she pouted the whole time as she changed into her baby outfit, wrinkling up her nose as she taped the diaper shut, stamping her feet a little as she stood to pull up her tights, and again after putting on her frilly socks and Mary Janes, until Mr. Wubbles scolded her for it.
"There, now," Mr. Wubbles said when Mel was finished, and had picked him back up. "I'd like to see you deny you're a baby girl now."
Mel pouted, almost wishing she hadn't gone to the bathroom before getting her lunch. It would help her diaper last longer without leaking, yes, but it would have been kind of fun to wet right then, to prove Mr. Wubbles's point. Instead, she walked over to her mirror to put her hair up into a pair of pigtails.
Mel wandered into the living room, feeling both exhilarated and nervous at once to be walking around her house dressed as she was, holding a teddy bear. If her mom came back early... But no, there was no way that would happen. She had the whole house to herself... Just her and Mr. Wubbles.
Not for long, unfortunately.
Mel was just sitting up, resting her crinkly bottom on her legs as she picked up her glass of water with both hands, sipping from it carefully. Someday, when she had money, and diapers, again, she would have to see about buying herself a bottle, or at least a sippy cup.
"Guess you win again," she said with a sad sigh. How was it possible that she could be beaten at Candyland three times in a row by a stuffed animal? Stupid swamp... It just wasn't fair. "Were you cheating?" Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared accusingly at Mr. Wubbles.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll win next time," Mr. Wubbles assured her, his blank, glassy eyes not any more believable than the last two times he'd told her that.
"Yeah, right," she sulked, laying carefully back down on her stomach to set the board back up. Her bladder was starting to feel full now, but she was planning on waiting as long as she could, just to show that nasty, cheating Mr. Wubbles. Of course, if she waited too long, he might make her do more than just wet her diaper... She kind of doubted that would happen, but, hey, you never know.
She was just getting ready to re-shuffle the cards when the doorbell rang, making her gasp and drop the cards, as well as let her bladder rid itself of a little of its contents. She blushed at the feeling of rapidly fading warmth around her bottom, even though she'd known it was coming for a while now. She just hadn't expected it to be at such a bad time. Who could possibly be at the door?
She sat back up, silently begging whoever was there to go away. It was probably Mrs. Herbert, come to make sure she hadn't broken anything, or swallowed any plastic bags or anything. Mrs. Herbert was a nice woman, but there were times when Mel couldn't help but wonder if she'd forgotten about the eight years that had passed since Mel's family had moved in next door to her. She probably wouldn't be surprised at all to find Mel dressed as she was - it was a fine outfit for a four year old. At least a four year old with a rather tenuous grasp on her potty training knowledge.
There was silence for a little while, and Mel was just starting to stretch back out on the floor, assuming Jehovah's Witnesses or the like, and giggling at the thought of them being greeted by her as she was, until the doorbell rang again, this time accompanied by a loud knocking. Mel stayed on the floor, heart starting to thump against the floor and her spine in turn. Was it Mrs. Herbert after all? She had a spare key, and Mel knew from experience she wasn't afraid to use it to make sure Mel was all right... She could have lost it, though. She -was- getting pretty old.
Who else could it be? she wondered, still perplexed by her situation. If she'd been smart, she would have taken the time after the first bell to crawl back to her room, praying whoever was at the door couldn't see that far, and low, into the house through the little window in the door, and changed so that she could shoo away the visitor and go back to playing. She could still try that now, but she'd already taken too long to answer, in case it was someone important.
The knocking continued. Mel stood up with a sigh, slowly, making sure to turn herself to face the door before allowing any part of her body to rise above the level of the couch. She was glad for the tights now - she likely hadn't wet enough to make her diaper sag much, with how thick they were, but she couldn't afford to let them get any lower than they already were.
She tried to look through the window as she approached the front door, hoping for a confirmation of her assumptions about Mrs. Herbert. No such luck. She could tell somebody was out there; however, they wouldn't stay in front of the window long enough for her to get any kind of idea who it might be. Her heart fluttered briefly as she recalled the phone call she had almost received a few days ago, if only reality hadn't intervened. Could it really be..?
Nope.
As soon as she unlocked the door, she felt it being pushed open, and the figure of Ethel squeezed through. "Hey, Mel, what took you so long?" she asked, shaking her head disapprovingly. "What kind of person lets her best friend wait out in this heat all day?"
"Sorry," Mel squeaked, stomach tying itself up into tighter and tighter knots with every passing second. What was Eth doing here?! Had she accidentally said something that Eth had misconstrued into an invitation last time she had seen her? It wouldn't be the first time...
"Nice outfit," Eth sneered, looking Mel up and down.
"It's just... I mean, I was just..." Mel struggled, cheeks turning a violent shade of red before she lowered her head to examine her Mary Janes, one of which was nervously tracing little circles on the floor in front of her. "What are you doing here?" she asked finally, after she had babbled long enough to assume Eth wasn't volunteering the information on her own.
"Oh, I just figured you could use some company today," Eth smiled sweetly, an expression which resembled that of a snake about to strike more than anything else. "You know, what with the whole 'not having a father to celebrate Father's Day with' thing."
"Well, thank you, but I'm fine," Mel told her, in her mind pushing Eth out the door, in reality still concentrating on her feet.
"Then why aren't you inviting me in? Are you this rude to everyone who visits you?" Eth sniffed, acting offended. "I suppose you are, since it's not like anybody but me would bother to visit you."
"Look, I'm busy... Maybe you can come by tomorrow, okay?" The option wasn't pleasant, since it would only earn her a lecture from mom on how Eth was a bad influence, but Mel wanted to be left alone at the moment. The circles being traced by her foot were getting more spastic now, and Mel realized she was bouncing a little bit as she stood there.
"What are you doing? Going to a baby pageant?" Eth laughed, reaching up to swat at one of the other girl's pigtails, as Mel blushed. "Looks like you're already prepared to me." A grin began to form on Eth's face, and she stepped closer to Mel, who in turn stepped back, chewing anxiously on her bottom lip. "Unless baby needs a change before she goes out."
Mel gave out a rather loud squeak as Eth's hand suddenly moved towards the hem of her skirt, and she tried to move away from it as quickly as possible. Her legs weren't quite prepared, however, and got tangled up with each other, sending Mel falling backwards to the ground, her skirt flying up towards her chest. The impact on her bottom was cushioned by her now cool and squishy diaper, but her head had no such padding, hitting the floor with a thud that left her dazed for a few moments, unaware of exactly why Eth was gawking at her until her bladder had finished its work, making the area around her bottom even more squishy.
"Oh... My... God..." Eth breathed, only seconds before bursting into some of the loudest laughter Mel had ever heard. "You are such a freak!"
Tears were welling in Mel's eyes as she sat up, rubbing the back of her head, wondering if there was -any- way she could get out of this.
"Leave her alone!"
Mel blinked, trying to place the voice; Eth turned around, still laughing, but at least not as hard now.
"I haven't done anything to her. -I- didn't put her in that diaper." Eth began to giggle again as the last word passed her lips, and she turned her head to get another look at Mel, still sitting there, wet diaper still exposed, up until she noticed what Eth was doing and rearranged her skirt hurriedly. "It's not my fault she's a freak."
"She's not a freak." Aimee opened the front door enough to get inside, then closed it. "For all you know, she has a medical condition..."
"So?" Eth rolled her eyes. "Like that would make it any less funny."
Aimee's eyes narrowed. "I thought you were her friend."
"Who would want to be friends with a little pants wetting baby like her?" Eth laughed, all the way up until Aimee's fist collided with her stomach, and then she bent over with a gasp, eyes bulging out for a second. Aimee's foot smashed into Eth's ankle, causing her to fall over, much like Mel had, then came to rest on Eth's chest.
"I don't think you should be mean to Mel anymore, Ethel," Aimee stated matter-of-factly, almost serenely. "And I don't think you should tell anybody about this. Ever. Do you understand me?"
Eth had little choice but to nod, despite the anger burning in her eyes, so palpable that Mel scooted backwards when her eyes turned to her. She had a bad feeling she hadn't seen the worst of Eth, whether she understood Aimee's threats or not.
"Now, why don't you go home?" Aimee suggested, removing her foot and offering Eth a hand. Eth only glared at it as she scrambled to her feet and ran out the door, throwing it open hard enough to slam it against the wall. Aimee watched her departure for a minute before closing the door gently. "Are you okay?" she asked, kneeling down in front of Mel.
"I... I guess so." Mel took Aimee's outstretched hand, shakily rose to her feet. "Thank you."
"Oh, no problem," Aimee smiled. "We have to look out for one another, you know."
"Huh?"
Aimee giggled at Mel's confused expression. Not a mean giggle, like Eth's, but one purely of amusement. She reached for the top of her jeans, pulling them down just far enough for Mel to see the top of a Pull-Up underneath. Mel wasn't sure what to say, so she didn't say anything.
Aimee seemed to understand, or at least not mind. "So, you sure you're okay?" Mel nodded. "I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing then. See you later!"
Mel found her voice again as Aimee turned. "Do you... wanna play Candyland with me?"
Aimee grinned. "I'd love to. But I think you might want to get changed first. You were looking pretty wet."
"Oh." Mel's face fell, and she began to blush anew. "I... umm... I don't have any more diapers..."
Aimee giggled again. "Well then, maybe you'd better come to my house instead."
Mel smiled as she slipped her hand into her new best friend's. "Let's go."
Mel looked over her story with a sigh, unsure if she should be happy with it or not. It hadn't turned out quite as well as she had hoped, but still, it wasn't bad. Eth probably wouldn't be too pleased with it, if she ever managed to find it, somehow, up until she got to the part about Mel wearing diapers. It wasn't like Mel had anyone like Aimee to protect her in real life.
She shook her head. She didn't -need- anybody like Aimee. Sure, Eth could be mean at times, but she wasn't like the character in her story. That was just exaggeration, nothing more. She could even have possibly convinced herself of that, if she hadn't stolen some of the Eth character in the story's lines straight from her real life counterpart.
Mel finally decided to be mostly happy with the story, if only because she liked the thought of having a friend who wore diapers, too, and really understood her, in a way that Eth never would. If her mom would only let her have the Internet again, she might even think about trying to put it up on the page where she had gotten all of the stories she had sitting in her desk now. Maybe some of the people there would like it...
She shifted in her seat, starting to fidget again. She hadn't realized writing her story was going to take quite so long. Her bladder was practically begging for release, and Mr. Wubbles, perched next to the monitor, was encouraging her to give in to its demands. She might feel bad about wasting so much of her "baby day" on writing, but there wasn't particularly anything more babyish for her to do. Her mom had given away her copy of Candyland a long time ago, and there were no good kid's shows on TV. And there was -no way- she was going to take her mom's suggestion and play outside. Besides, writing could be cool, too; sometimes coming up with adventures for an imaginary Mel was more fun than having them herself. Just not particularly in keeping with the theme of the day, when she should have been spending her time being a baby herself, while she still had the chance.
And now, her day was fast approaching its end. She had held out against her body for quite a while, and thus extended the life of her last diaper, but there was only so long a girl could wait. Besides, she had waited this long; it could last until sevenish now, even with the deluge she had waiting inside. She gave a sigh, closed her eyes, and let go.
"There's a good girl," she encouraged herself in her Mr. Wubbles voice. "Now why don't we get you changed into something that'll show that nice, wet diaper off a little better, huh?"
Mel pouted for show, but she had been feeling warm for the last chapter or so, and was glad for an excuse to change into her T-shirt. It wasn't quite as long as she remembered it, not quite long enough to cover her diaper, but that could have had something to do with how wet her diaper was. Usually, they could take at least two wettings, but she was apprehensive about risking another in this one.
Now that her body's attention was off of her bladder for the time being, it began to notice how empty her stomach felt. "I think it's time to make dinner," she announced out loud, grabbing Mr. Wubbles and taking him into the kitchen so he could supervise her as she poured out some fish sticks and tater tots onto a pan and put them into the oven. She was certainly capable of more complex cooking than that, yet nothing she could think of better fit her mood. There was just something -right- about eating an entire meal with your hands. And that had been the plan all along. It was better not to mess with the plan.
It didn't take long for her food to cook, especially since she passed the time by coloring a picture of a dog all the colors of the rainbow, but Mr. Wubbles warned her it would be too hot to eat just yet, so she got out the applesauce. She almost got a spoon out before convincing herself utensils would suck all the fun out of her meal. It was part of the reason she'd changed clothes, after all.
And it was a good thing she had. Eating with your hands was obviously a very specialized skill, one she had lost a long time ago. She found her own incompetence quite amusing, though, as she giggled every time she dripping applesauce onto her shirt, or her legs, curled up underneath her on the chair, usually making her drop even more. If she hadn't been planning on taking a shower once she changed out of her diaper, she sure was now.
She had almost run out of applesauce, and trying to decide if she wanted to pour herself some more, when the doorbell rang. Just like in the story, Mel froze.
Unlike in her story, after a minute of shocked silence, she could hear the door beginning to open.
Her stomach thrashed inside of her. Had she imagined the sound? Or...
Or...
She glanced over at Mr. Wubbles. Could it really be..?
She jumped to her feet, ran to the front of her house, not stopping long enough to confirm what she already knew to be true before throwing herself into the arms of her waiting father, not caring if he saw her in a saggy diaper, not caring about their years apart, not caring about anything except that she got to see her dad again, on Father's Day. Sure, he was probably as awful a person as her mom regularly told her he was, and that she usually thought of him as. Even so, he was still her daddy, and no matter how much she hated him, she couldn't help but want to see him again, at least once...
"Mel?"
Mrs. Herbert's confused voice broke Mel out of her reverie in mid-run, slamming into her like a sack of bricks.
What kind of an idiot are you? she berated herself. Of course it wasn't dad. What was she thinking?!
"Are you... Are you okay, Mel?" Mrs. Herbert asked, glancing down at Mel's diaper.
Mel's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Uh-oh... "I'm fine," she choked, wishing it was true.
"I'll... I'll leave you alone, then." Mrs. Herbert backed out of the door hurriedly, locking it behind her. Mel stared after her, eyes blank. Had that really just happened?
She trudged back to the kitchen, no longer hungry, no longer enthralled with the idea of eating with her fingers, or acting like a baby at all. The diaper around her waist felt like it was getting heavier with every step. What was wrong with her? What kind of twelve year old wanted to be a baby again? Maybe she was a freak after all, just like story-Eth had said.
Only a freak could miss her father after what he'd done to her.
Her hand brushed against Mr. Wubbles's fur, her bottom lip quivering dangerously.
She didn't miss him. She couldn't. He was a bastard, pure and simple. She didn't care about him. What had he ever done for her? Other than pretend to love her, and let her stay up past her bedtime so they could watch old movies on TV when mom wasn't home. And let her win at least once whenever they played cards. And smiled at her that way he did, the way only he could, the way that told her he loved her more than anything in the world, and would never let anything hurt her. Anything but him, once he found something he loved more than her.
She snatched up Mr. Wubbles, hugging him against her chest, as the tears began to pour from her eyes.
She wasn't sure how long she stayed there before her felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her into a lap, stroking her hair gently. "What's wrong, baby?" her mom whispered in her ear.
Mel wasn't sure what to do, what to say. What was her mom going to say, seeing her dressed like this, covered in applesauce?
But her mom didn't seem to care, or even notice. Her hands moved downwards, rubbing Mel's back. "You can tell me, honey. You can tell me anything."
Mel knew it was just another fantasy, yet it was too comforting to just ignore, and she curled up in a ball as her pretend mother calmed her down, slowing her tears, eventually putting her to sleep, there on the kitchen floor, clutching Mr. Wubbles.
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway brought her back to consciousness.
"Where am I?" she slurred, rubbing her eyes. Why was she on the floor?
When she saw Mr. Wubbles, a bit damp from where she had apparently been drooling in her sleep, it all came back to her. Had Mrs. Herbert called her mom and told her about finding Mel in a diaper? Was that why she was home early?
Except a quick check of the clock on the microwave told Mel that her mom was actually late. Maybe her mom had gone out shopping for diapers after Mrs. Herbert called her...
She considered staying still, staying in the kitchen and just letting her mom find her. She was sure she still had some crying left in her. Surely her real mom would be even better at consoling her than her fantasy mom.
But, in the end, she made a mad dash for her bedroom instead, closing the door right before she heard the front door open, re-emerging only once she had removed her diaper, placing it into a plastic bag she had put into her closet for just such an occasion and then setting the bag on her potty, and after she removed her T-shirt, turning it inside out and throwing it into her hamper. She quickly got herself dressed in her big girl clothes again so she could dash across the hall to the bathroom, to clean herself up and splash some cold water on her face.
When she opened the bathroom door, her mom was waiting for her.
"Oh.. Hi." Mel couldn't help but feel anxious. Had Mrs. Herbert said anything? What was her mom going to do about it?
If she had any idea about Mel's activities from earlier, she gave no sign of it. "You left this in the kitchen," she said, handing Mel Mr. Wubbles.
"Thanks," Mel blushed. It was a little embarrassing for her mom to know she had been playing with a stuffed animal; at least it wasn't a diaper, though.
"No problem," her mom kissed her forehead, began to go to her room to change, stopped. "Your father... He gave that to you, didn't he?"
"Yeah."
Her mom's voice was almost as soft as her own. "You miss him, don't you, baby?"
Mel shook her head. "No, of course not."
Her mom sighed. "Mel, you don't have to pretend. It's okay to miss him. He -was- your daddy, after all."
"I'm not pretending," Mel lied. "I don't miss him at all."
Her mom wasn't convinced, yet didn't press it further. "If you say so, baby." She bent over to kiss her daughter's forehead again, before vanishing down the hall.
"Not at all," Mel whispered.
|
