In For A Penni - Story

Elizabeth · In For A Penni - Story

Introduction

It all started before I was born, or so I've been told. My sources might not be the most credible, but I guess they'll have to do. A lot of it I know myself, just because. Other parts, I had to have Jen tell me about, and... well... Big sisters should never be trusted -too- much.

Once, a long time ago, the stars were feeling tired - they've been up in the sky quite a while, now, haven't they? They deserve a break sometimes, too, more than just the daytime. They decided to come down to earth for a few days, to see the sights up close. Most of the people didn't like that much, and told the stars to get back up in the sky.

Well, the stars got all offended; they hadn't done anything wrong, and all these people were being mean to them. Just not fair. But stars don't have arms, or feet for that matter - they have to roll around to get places, which is very inconvenient - so they couldn't do much to stop the mean people. Other than ask them to be nice and let them stay for just a little longer, because they still hadn't seen the ocean, which, of course, never works. No matter what they tell you, asking someone to stop being mean is pointless.

Telling on them works much better. So some of the stars went up to talk to their daddy, the sun. He promised them he would make a human who would protect them. Like all good things, however, this human wouldn't be there anytime soon, so the stars went back up into the sky, waiting for the time when their hero appeared.

That hero is me.

Or should have been.

I guess I should explain.

A little less long ago, there was a little house out in the country, way out away from most anything else. There was lots of fresh air there, though, and a swing set in the middle of a big sandbox out back. Across the road, right before it ended completely, fizzling off into nothingness, was another house, a little smaller than the first, a garden to one side, a dirt path going from the back door to a barn that hadn't seen animals other than cats and the few mice who were good enough at hiding to get away for now (and probably some snakes, but I prefer not to think about that) for years.

There was a little family, too, one that was about to get a bit bigger, and a lot more important in the big scheme of things. The parents liked the house because of the fresh air, and knew the family who lived in the other house. The daddy had gone to school with the other family's mommy, and when he told her he was looking for a new house, she suggested that one. The family had a little girl, Jen, who was a little older than I was when all this happened at the time. I think she was about 9, and that's only a year and a half off. She liked the house's swing set.

The moon liked the house, too. He knew the stars had talked to the sun, and he didn't want the hero to help the stars. Lighting up the sky all by himself was hard, and he knew if the stars could go on vacation, he would get stuck doing it a lot more. So, he made a plan to keep the hero from growing to her full potential. But that's later.

The family who lived in the other house had a little girl, too, and her name was Caileigh. She was a few months older than Jen. She liked the swing set, too, but she liked the barn more, and soon, so did Jen. Caileigh's family was about to get larger as well, much sooner than Jen's.

"We're best friends, right?" Jen asked one day, as the two sat on the second floor of the barn, legs swinging out of the big window on the front. It was one of those long, hot summer days, when there isn't really anything to do but sit around and talk, but with more of the first than the second.

"Of course!" Caileigh answered, giggling. "And our little sisters will be, too!"

If Jen was here, she'd probably have to say that they didn't know that I was a girl yet, but who really cares? Mommy said she always knew I was, anyway. Jen didn't believe her until they scanned me. Or something.

Caileigh's little sister was born a few days later. They named her Nadine.

Caileigh and Jen had fun with the new baby, who, after a few months, was more a doll than anything. She even kept them occupied after I was born, until I was old enough for them to dress up and play with as they wanted, since, by then, Nadine was old enough to toddle away from them.

Me? Well, the name they came up with for me was Penni. Not as dramatic as I would have hoped for; it doesn't scream 'Savior of the Stars', but it'll do.

Nadine and me... We never did go together as well as Caileigh and Jen hoped. Nadine isn't a bad person. She just rubs me the wrong way, and I probably do the same for her. We became friends anyway. There wasn't much else we could do. There was nobody else around other than our own sisters, and they wanted us to be friends like they were.

It wasn't until the moon made his move that we really started to grow apart. You know, not really, but... metaphorically. I think.

We were almost always together then, and still are a lot of the time. So, when Nadine got sick with whatever it was the moon gave her, I caught it pretty quickly, before our parents realized that anything was actually wrong with Nadine.

I've always wondered why the moon chose to infect Nadine first. Maybe he thought she was the hero. I used to think she was, but I know better, deep down. I can't really explain it. I just do.

Whatever the reason, the moon's trick did its job anyway. Nadine got better in a few weeks. I didn't. I was sick for quite awhile, and even after I got better, I was never exactly hero material again. I get sick really easily, and, whether it was because of being sick for so long, or just not seeing her for so long, Nadine seemed a lot bigger than me, rather than being about the same size, like we had been before.

After that, it just seemed like she was everything I wasn't. I had gotten quiet after being in bed so long, but she was loud in everything she did. I was kind of unsteady on my feet, and she was everywhere, practically bouncing around the house, and the barn, and the swings, all at the same time. Like I said before, she was bigger than me now, and she discovered she could use that to get me to do stuff for her.

Once we started school, she got even more bossy, and more loud with what she said, though she had less to say; she had a lisp, and when she got to school, she realized how much different she talked than anybody else. So she just talked to boss other people around. She almost always knew the answer to the teacher's questions, too, but she didn't want to say them unless she knew she wouldn't sound dumb.

I wanted to be a good friend, so I pretended I had a lisp, too, so she wouldn't be alone. I had a little bit of one, anyway, or so Jen told me when I was practicing in front of her. Nadine must have noticed that, too, since she never brought up the change in the way I talked. But that could be because I didn't talk much. Unlike her, I felt lost about half the time the teacher was talking, and the few times I knew the answer, my hand shot up into the air. Usually before I gave the answer a second thought, which would have shown me that I was wrong.

We went to speech counseling - it got us out of math class, sometimes, until we got to second grade, and it got us out of music class instead. Nadine was a lot better at it than me. She's better at everything.

I think it was the beginning of that summer, the one I want to tell you about, we had our own talk in the barn.

It wasn't too hot outside yet, but we didn't feel like actually doing anything anyway. Nadine was going to turn 8 in a few weeks, and, like all of her birthdays, it was reminding me that she would always be older than me. She was going to be 8 for almost six months before I could - I'd already know about all the good stuff about being that age, and still have to wait what seemed like forever before I got to do that stuff for myself.

"We're best friends, right?" I asked, my legs tucked under myself, crossed Indian style, like we had to sit when we were outside at school. "Even if you're older than me?"

"Sure," Nadine shrugged. Her legs were swinging over the edge of the window.

I knew she wasn't lying, but I also knew she wasn't exactly telling the truth, either. Sure, she would sit with me now, but it was because nobody else but our sisters were around. That was good enough for me, at least for now. As long as I had somebody my age around to keep me from going crazy through the long months of summer, and I knew she'd do that.

I was wrong. After her birthday, she stayed in her house more. She had friends to talk to on the telephone, she told me, on the few times she came outside as I was sitting on my swing, boredly. They were more interesting than me.

I was starting to wonder if I would ever see her again for more than a few minutes at a time. And then... Then, -it- happened.

But I'm getting all ahead of myself again.

Chapter One

I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of reality.
- General Auriga Delta

The moon is a clever opponent. You never know when he's going to try something new.

I mean, surely the moon had to be behind this. My dentist had never been particularly pleasant, but he had never done this before, either. I figured it was one of those things like on TV, where he got one of his cronies to do something that would kill his opponent, eventually, then have the crony leave while death slowly crept up on the poor hero.

Being a hero is tough. Especially when the top of your mouth is filled with cement, or whatever Dr. Hugo said the stuff was. It was kind of cold, anyway, and seemed like it would taste awful, if I swallowed any of it. Probably not a good idea to do that, though. It was difficult to remember to breathe through my nose while my mouth was open, too. I kept trying to close my mouth, but my bottom jaw kept springing back downward when it was a few centimeters away from the metal tray. Getting my mouth cemented closed wouldn't be good.

What if the cement isn't getting hard fast enough, and it flows down into my throat? What if that was the point? Maybe it kept making cement, and it would just keep flowing down inside of me, until I turned into a statue?

I felt Jen's hand on my arm almost before I realized I was starting to gag. I tried to give her a pitiful look, to try to convince her to save me, but she just smiled at me and continued to rub my arm. She never has understood what I have to go through, for my destiny.

It was about then that Dr. Hugo came back, obviously expecting to find me already dead and statue-ified. He hid his surprise quite well, and I guess he had some other person he needed to torture soon, because he tugged the metal plate, now with a mold of my teeth attached to it, out of my mouth, more gently than I expected, and had been preparing for with a preemptive wince. He'd probably just been brainwashed by the moon, and got better, just in the nick of time.

"There you go. I bet that feels better, huh?" Dr. Hugo asked, managing to look at me without really looking at me. A lot of grown-ups were quite good at that, at least when they were talking to me.

I nodded, though the improvement left a lot to be desired. My mouth was dry, and it felt like there was still some of the cement still in there. The disgusted look on my face must have tipped Dr. Hugo off that I wasn't entirely pleased.

"Why don't you go down to the bathroom and rinse out your mouth, okay? And then you can go to the prize room and pick out something." I think he might have glanced at me once; mostly, he was looking at some charts or papers or something on his clipboard.

I looked over at Jen, who nodded at me, then gestured at the door. Trying to get rid of me. Hmph. She'd just better hope Dr. Hugo didn't get re-brainwashed while I was gone.

I walked slowly towards the hallway where the bathroom was, making sure to take my time. My mouth felt kind of icky, sure, but I knew they were trying to get rid of me so they could talk about me; I had a right to know what they were saying. Right?

I couldn't help but beam as I heard Dr. Hugo recognizing my courage. "You have a brave little sister, there," he said, even before I was out of the room.

Of course, my smile was quickly erased as soon as Jen answered him, saying, "Not really."

I had to stop myself from turning around and informing her just how brave I had been, but, luckily, the more tactical side of my brain kicked in, and reminded me I probably shouldn't have heard that, and if I replied, one of them would probably escort me to my proper destination. So I kept going, resolved to set her straight once we were in the car, and headed back home.

"So, what's the deal?" Jen asked. -That- was my sister, there, getting right to the heart of the problem. Made it much easier for me, plus, didn't have to stand just outside the doorway for too long this way. "Does she have a cavity?" I gasped, a bit louder than I meant to, attracting the attention of the receptionist. I smiled innocently at her and pretended to walk towards the bathroom, until she turned her attention back to the lobby.

"No, nothing like that," Dr. Hugo answered after a brief pause. I couldn't quite hear them, but in my mind, I could see him flipping through whatever papers he had on his clipboard. "Though I think she might like it better if that's all it was."

I had no idea what he was talking about, though my mind was supplying all sorts of alternatives. What could be worse? Daddy complained like it was the most horrible thing in the world every time he had a cavity, and he was pretty tough.

This was the work of the moon again, certainly. I was probably going to be getting all of my teeth taken out, so I couldn't eat. Or maybe they would just ignore the whole teeth thing, and remove my stomach instead. I bet dentists could do that, if they wanted to. Or he could be planning on gluing all my teeth together, so I couldn't eat -or- talk, so I couldn't warn anybody about the evil plans of his evil master!

"Worse?" Jen echoed my thoughts, more calmly than I could have managed. Was she finally figuring out what was going on? "Ohhh, I remember what that mold is for..."

"I'm afraid so. You might want to take her out for a milkshake while I take a look at this, to make sure."

The thought of the milkshake was almost enough to take my mind off the terrible things that were going to be done to me soon, until it began to make me worry even more. If a dentist was suggesting a milk shake, then whatever he was going to do must be pretty bad. I was doomed.

I heard footsteps approaching the door, and, having enough to worry about without adding the threat of getting caught, ran to the bathroom. By the time I decided my mouth was clean enough, Jen was waiting for me, leaning on the wall beside the door, arms crossed, staring at the ceiling.

"Slow poke," she teased. I stuck out my tongue at her as I dried my hands on the sides of my shorts. "Are you done yet?"

I shook my head. "I still hafta get a prize," I informed her.

Jen sighed. "Oh, for..." She closed her eyes, calmed herself down. "Could you please not take all day?"

"I never take all day," I informed her. "I just hafta make sure I choose the right thing." I had become quite the connoisseur of stuff you could get from various kinds of doctors over the years - they had the best stuff at the hospital, but Dr. Hugo wasn't bad.

"How about we do this when we come back?" Jen suggested, holding out her hand to tell me that it wasn't really a suggestion.

"We're coming back?" I complained, not needing to pretend to sound upset. Guess she hadn't talked Dr. Hugo out of it or anything. Probably still didn't realize what he meant to do.

"Afraid so, babe." Since I hadn't taken her hand yet, she reached out and took mine, starting to lead me back down the hallway. "Dr. Hugo said it shouldn't take long, though."

"Okay," I pouted.

She pushed open the door to the lobby, and I quickly tugged my hand free from hers as I saw Lilly, one of the more popular girls from my class, sitting there, waiting her turn with her mommy. "I'm not a baby," I informed Jen quietly. "You don't have to hold my hand." Jen had a hurt look on her face, but she noticed Lilly sitting there, too, and nodded.

"Hi, Lilly!" I called from across the room, waving. I didn't know Lilly very well - she was better friends with Nadine than me - but she wasn't stuck up like most of the other popular girls, so I liked her, at least on principle. Still, when she waved back and I saw that she had her nails painted, I quickly put my own hands into my pockets, before following Jen out the door, into the sticky, hot air outside, quite different from the air conditioned dentist's office.

"Jen, Jen, can we get nail polish?" I asked as we walked to Jen's car, grabbing one of her arms and jumping up and down a little, just to get her attention.

"Did you stop biting your nails?" she asked back.

I put my hands back into my pockets. "Well... No..." I looked down at my feet for a few seconds before perking up. "But mommy doesn't have to know!"

Jen pulled her keys out of her purse and unlocked her car. "I don't think so, Penni."

I pouted as I walked around the car, and for a few seconds after I got in, so that Jen would see. "Well... Can we at least get my ears pierced? All the other girls in my class have pierced ears..." That wasn't precisely true; close enough, though. "Mommy doesn't have to know about that, either. I just won't wear earrings when she's around!"

Jen smiled. "I think she might still notice the holes in your ears, babe."

"You're no fun." I crossed my arms and sank down into the seat, and stayed there until the car stopped. I scrambled up in my seat, wondering where Jen had chosen to get my treat from - not that it mattered much, since there wasn't any place in town that made a bad milkshake - only to find we were at Wal-Mart instead. "Hey! They don't have milkshakes here!" I complained, not thinking anything of it.

"How do you know about that?" Jen asked suspiciously; I giggled nervously. "Were you eavesdropping again, Penni?"

"Maybe." I fidgeted with my seat belt. "Just a little. You were talking about me anyway! Why can't I listen?"

"That's not the way it works, Penni," Jen shook her head. "What are we going to do with you?"

"Pierce my ears?" I suggest hopefully. "That'd teach me a lesson."

Jen smiled, reached over to try to ruffle up my hair, though the braid she had put most of it into before we came to town made it difficult for her. My hair was getting a little long for my taste, and I was hoping I could get it cut sometime soon, maybe to just a little longer than shoulder length, like Jen's hair, rather than almost halfway down my back, at least when it was all loose. Both of us had red hair, though hers looked closer to brown sometimes, and mine was always pretty brightly red.

"We can look at earrings here, if you want to," she offered, "once we get some stuff for Mom."

I shrugged, sighed. Looking wasn't nearly the same if you knew you had to wait another four and a half years before you could wear them. Mommy could be so unreasonable sometimes.

The sun pounded down on me again as I stepped out of the car immediately feeling more sluggish as I saw how far it was to the entrance. The moon may be trying to kill me, but the sun just might do the job for him, while trying to see if I'm still up to the challenge of defending his children. On days like this, I wish he would just accept that I'm not, and leave me alone.

"Can I ride in the cart?" I asked as I saw the corralled shopping carts a few parking spaces down. "Please?"

Jen raised an eyebrow. "Ride in the cart? And here I thought you weren't a baby."

"Jeeeen!" I whined, grabbing her arm. "It's hoooot out here!"

"I don't think we really need a cart, sweetie. Guess you'll just have to suffer like everyone else." Jen smiled.

The walk was as long and harrowing as I imagined, with just as many close calls as I thought there would be, too. There were cars zooming back and forth recklessly, like they were in some kind of pinball machine. Even though I tried to pay attention before I moved anywhere, they always seemed to come from a direction I either hadn't checked, or had checked first and then forgotten. After we passed through the second or third row of cars, I grabbed Jen's hand - it was just easier that way - which made her smile a lot bigger for some reason.

The inside of Wal-Mart was blessedly cool; why couldn't they air condition their parking lot, too? Jen grabbed a basket, and soon we were searching for stuff. Mommy didn't need all that much, but what she did need was all in different parts of the store. I was happy to see Jen pick up some sunscreen, though, since I had noticed we were getting low. I used to hate having to wait for Jen or mommy to put that stuff on me before I could go out in the summer, until I had gone out without it, and gotten sunburned. That was a lot less fun, so now I didn't mind as much.

We did end up having time to look at earrings, too, and Jen bought a pair of little blue cats that she said brought out her eyes. She wouldn't buy me the green penguins that she claimed did the same for me, because she said they were ugly. I'm still not sure if that meant she thought my eyes are ugly, too.

By the time we were finished, my toes were starting to get cold through my sandals, so I was ready to leave. Not sure why my toes got cold first, since most of my legs and arms were uncovered, too, with the shorts and T-shirt I had on, but that's how it almost always was. Crazy toes.

We went through a drive through to get my milkshake (strawberry, of course), so we could get back to Dr. Hugo before his next appointment. Jen got a milkshake, too.

"That's cheating," I made sure to inform her. "You didn't have a dentist appointment!"

"Yes, but I'm paying for them," she said. It was a good enough answer for me.

I was still slurping happily away as we walked back into Dr. Hugo's office. Lilly wasn't in the lobby anymore; I guess she was with one of the other dentists there, since Dr. Hugo was waiting for us, as the receptionist informed us, after giving me a suspicious look. I made sure to return it as we passed by her window, glaring at her over the top of my cup. A spy, most likely. No big surprise, since her boss worked for the moon, too.

Dr. Hugo's office is pretty nice. I've only been in it a couple of times. Actually, only once, other than this, that I can think of, the first time I'd visited him, and he explained what he was going to be doing to me. He has nice chairs. Big and soft and comfy. I climbed up into the best one before Jen could steal it, and waited to hear what was going on.

"How are you doing, Penni?" Dr. Hugo asked, smiling way too pleasantly for this not to be bad.

"Better," I answered carefully.

"Penni, do you know what an orthodontist is?"

I didn't pay a lot of attention after that. I was too busy remembering Jen's visits to the orthodontist. Or, more specifically, what she'd been like after those appointments, and how much she'd complained, and whined about how annoying her braces were. They couldn't really make me get braces, too, could they?

"Weren't you paying attention?" Jen shook her head as we drove back home. "If this goes well, you might not have to wear braces when you're older."

"I'd rather have braces than get my mouth all stretched out," I sighed, leaning against the car door. And here I thought Dr. Hugo was just going to kill me...

"Look on the bright side, hon - they might decide you don't need it after all. And even if you do, it won't be for another six months."

That was one of the few times I ever wished I wasn't about to turn 8. What a dumb age.

Elizabeth

Chapter Two

"I should have known it was you all along!" I shouted, shaking my head sadly. "How could you betray me like this?"

But, of course, I knew the answer, as usual. It was the moon again, that cursed moon, always doing its best to get rid of me. You'd think it would be an easy task, what with him already having weakened me, to prevent me from becoming as powerful as I should be, but somehow, I always manage to get away, to escape to fight his evil forces another day. And yet, this time... This time, it was my best friend he was striking me with. How dastardly was this villain? How evil was his black little heart? Using my friendship with Nadine, such as it was, to lure me into a false sense of security - the beast!

Nadine rolled her eyes. "Can we just do this if we're going to?"

And with that, Nadine lifted her sword, sunlight gleaming off of the dark steel of its blade, almost as brightly as the malice shining in her dark eyes. She held the sword out, straight towards me, flipping her shoulder length blond hair behind her shoulder and grinning at me. I could feel a danger lurking behind that smile, a danger that made my skin crawl.

"But, Nadine, we don't have to do this!" I pleaded, laying my sword down on the floor, although I made sure to keep my hand near its hilt. "Don't you rememb...?"

"Penni," she said, her voice more annoyed than dangerous now. "Do you want me to play with you or not?"

"Fine," I pouted, standing back up. It was just as well, I guess, as that was all the further I had planned my monologue, and I couldn't think of anything specific to tell her to recall that would keep her from attacking.

I raised my sword, quickly using both hands to hold it up, to keep it from shaking quite as much. Before I could do anything with it, however, I was forced to jump backwards as I realized Nadine was already right in front of me, her sword slicing through the air right in front of me. My foot slips a bit as I land, and I let go of my sword with one hand to steady myself, blushing, mostly in the fear that Nadine would notice that the shoelace on my left sneaker had come untied -again-.

I ducked to one side, Nadine's sword once more slashing right past me, twisting one leg off to the side, too quickly to notice my foot was standing firmly on my trailing shoelace still. I gave a squeak, letting go of my sword with my other hand, accidentally tossing it a couple feet away, since both my arms were already waving wildly, for all the good that did me. Which, in case you were wondering, wasn't much - a second later, I had fallen straight onto my butt.

"Oof," I said, kinda. Really, it was more like it forced its way out of my mouth without my meaning for it to. This could be going better, I told myself, in case I didn't realize it for myself.

The impact and shock of the fall kept me from doing anything useful for a few moments, during which Nadine beside me, laughing - though not, as I'd hoped, hard enough to allow me a chance to recompose myself more fully - and pressing her sword against my chest. "Good job, dummy."

"Shut up!" I tried to shout, but, much to my dismay, it came out more like "Thut up," the surprise and pain making me slip back into my lisp. My cheeks flushed red as Nadine smirked; I could tell she was cooking up something nasty to say.

Before she could, I threw myself sideways, towards my sword, letting my body roll a couple times before I reached out to grab the weapon, raising one foot a touch to stop myself, then jump back up, standing again. I raised my sword just in time to block Nadine's, metal scraping against metal as she glared at me over their crossed blades, eyes showing no sign of fear, no sign that she thought she could possibly lose to me.

She pressed forward, pouring her strength into trying to move her blade - and mine with it, as it was closer to me - closer to my body. She wasn't doing a bad job at it, either, being undeniably the stronger of the two of us, but I was doing my square best to stop her, frankly somewhat surprised her initial burst of power hadn't been enough to knock the blades into me, and land me on the floor once more.

I couldn't hold much longer... The swords were drawing closer to me every moment, my arms growing tired from resisting. She was going to win, unless... Unless...

I pulled my sword away from hers, following it, leaping out of her way as she suddenly fell forward, taking a couple steps to steady herself. It took me some time to recover as well, a hair shorter than her, and I spun around, swinging perhaps a bit wildly, moving the sword across the air in front of my body, where Nadine, unfortunately, wasn't. My other arm was there, though, and I probably would have hit it, if Nadine hadn't used that opening to attack it, her sword slamming into it seemingly as hard as she could make it.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed, tears springing to my eyes as I drop my sword in mid-swing, my hand instead moving up to where I felt certain my arm was broken, or at least bleeding. The sword hit the floor with a dull clunking sound.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Nadine ordered me, tossing her own sword, the blade now resembling silver painted wood more than steel, onto the floor as well. "I didn't hit you -that- hard."

"It was hard enough," I protested, working hard to keep my 'r' steady.

"It's not my fault. Wasn't my idea." I wasn't sure if she was talking about sword fighting, or playing with me at all. I knew neither one had been her choice - Caileigh had made her come up to the barn to see me, and I had somehow convinced her to do more than sulkily wait long enough for her sister to let her back inside.

"Still hurt," I pouted, lifting my hand from the sore spot. Was that a bruise starting already? I really hoped not... Mommy would know how it got there, like she always knew, and then she'd lecture me about having hidden those swords however many times for a good reason. She didn't understand. She never does. And she had been the one that convinced my teacher, Mr. Chaon, to let me keep them after the school play, too.

Then again, if she had actually known it was the swords, I guess she probably wouldn't have given the okay to my taking home a couple props. Which is, of course, exactly why I didn't mention it to her. I think she expected me to bring home something I had used in the play, but where was the fun in that? None of my props were very cool... It was the swords I really wanted, and had wanted ever since I'd seen the two boys who got to use them carrying them.

I'd kept them in my closet for a while, until mommy started taking them away when she caught me playing with them. I'd get hurt, she'd say, and hide them away someplace, which I would quickly find to reclaim my prizes. It took me a few months to figure out that the barn was the best hiding place, but now that I had, I didn't want one little bruise, no matter how painful, ruin it for me. Maybe she wouldn't be home by the time I got back to my own house, and Jen wouldn't tell her I had been at the barn almost ever since we'd gotten home from Dr. Hugo's.

Even though it isn't all that close to my house, I tend to think of the barn as being just as much my property as Nadine's, and even more mine than Caileigh's. I know Jen's told me time and time again that she and Caileigh had spent a lot of time up in the loft, but since I've only seen either of them up there a handful of times, I'm a bit doubtful.

Caileigh and Nadine's parents are nice - I probably wouldn't have an open invitation to play in a building on their property any time I feel like it if they weren't - but they could get on my nerves at times. Especially when they actually -did- something with their barn, like allowing our nearest neighbor, Mr. Stephens, a farmer, use half of the loft to put his hay up in while he rebuilt his own barn, which had burned down a few months before.

It wasn't too bad, I guess... They had at least stacked the bales up so that they could be easily climbed up, and there were a few spots where you could hide in there, and would have been good for Hide and Go Seek, I bet, if I'd had anyone willing to play that with me. It was kinda prickly, though, and if you weren't wearing jeans, trying to sit up there for any length of time would get your legs all scratched up. Well, climbing up there would generally do the same thing, but it wasn't quite as bad, so that mommy sometimes wouldn't notice, and it was fun enough to risk a warning to be careful, or one of the bales could fall on me and crush me, or I could fall off the top and hurt myself, or any of a whole variety of other lectures, even on days too hot for jeans.

The shorts I was wearing used to be jeans. My favorite jeans, in fact, even, or maybe especially, after the legs had acquired a few rips, and they had gotten all beaten up. Eventually, against my will, mommy had turned them into shorts, probably to prevent me from trying to wear them to school. They were still all right in shorts form, but not nearly the same. They had a stain on them now, the crash site of a spot of jelly from the sandwich Jen made me for lunch once we got back from my appointment with Dr. Hugo, and a few splatters of paint left over from helping paint my room last summer. I had painted almost all of the cloud border on the top of the wall my closet is on, but mommy let Jen do the other walls after I almost knocked the bucket of paint off of the top of the ladder, and then nearly fell off myself trying to stop that from happening. After that, I just painted the bottom part of the wall - where the bits of sky blue on the shorts had come from.

I rubbed at the spot of jelly, halfway hoping it wouldn't come off, since it looked all right where it was, before my hand drifted further up, back to the spot on my arm where Nadine had hit me. Nadine rolled her eyes at me as she noticed.

"You're the one who wanted to play that stupid game anyway," she reminded me again, before sighing and saying, "This is boring." Before I could say anything, she was climbing down the ladder, and the barn door was creaking open. I rubbed my arms for a few seconds longer, then hurried to follow her, turning back around after a couple steps to gather up the swords and clumsily climb into the hay, shoving them behind one of the bales. If mommy thought to look up here at all, surely she wouldn't look back there.

Satisfied, I went over to the window, where I could see Nadine walking down the path to her house. "Wait up!" I called anxiously, scrambling down the ladder as quickly as I dared, running through the door. To my great surprise, Nadine had actually waited for me, though as soon as I came out of the barn, she started walking again, forcing me to shove the door closed and race after her in order to catch up.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked once I was beside her.

I nodded. "Wasn't that bad," I lied. She nodded, too, and we took a few more steps. "Jen made me hold her hand at the dentist today," I complained. "I think Lilly saw me, and now she pro'lly thinks I'm a baby."

Nadine laughed, and I had a distinct feeling that it was directed more at me than the story. "Caileigh doesn't make me hold her hand," she told me. I resisted the urge to tell her that was because Caileigh didn't love her. "Guess it's 'cause she knows I'm not a little kid anymore." She shrugged, then proceeded meanly, "Jen probably just forgot you weren't a baby any more. It -can- be hard to tell with you sometimes."

"Is not!" I shot back, fists clenching at my sides.

"Oh, don't worry," she said quickly, most likely because she realized Caileigh could see us from her seat on their back porch. "I'm sure once you turn eight, Jen will see you aren't a baby."

I nodded uncertainly. Eight was definitely an important age, but today was making me wonder if I should be looking forward to it or dreading it. It would be nice for Jen to realize I wasn't some little kid anymore; at the same time, I really didn't want braces, or whatever it was the orthodontist was going to do to me, and if I never turned eight, I'd never have to see him. No matter how hard Jen tried to convince me orthodontists aren't all bad, all I could think of was how much she'd hated hers.

"Bye," Nadine said quietly, running to the porch next to her big sister.

"Bye!" I called to both of them, waving as I started to walk towards my own house, where I saw mommy's car waiting in the driveway. So much for beating her home... I glanced down at my arm, where it was now obvious that a bruise was forming. I also fleetingly noticed that my hands were a little dirty, sure to gain me a "Those hands are filthy!" and a "Go wash up before dinner, or I'll let Jen do it for you," and possibly a "What -have- you been doing, young lady?"

"Goodbye, cutie!" Caileigh called.

I giggled and waved a little more before, long enough to see Nadine roll her eyes at me again and begin to head into her house before I turned and did the same.

Chapter Three

The carpet rubbed up against the bottom of my stomach, and made me giggle a little whenever I moved, although less so as I got more engrossed with finishing up coloring the picture, my legs crossing in the air behind me.

"Do you ever feel like you have problems making friends your age?"

I looked up from my picture, a bit annoyed at the interruption, even if I should have expected it, after having silence for so long. Dr. Veitch probably wasn't used to me being so quiet... Her office was just so nice and cool, after walking under the beaming sun for so long, and riding in Jen's stupid car before that. I wouldn't have minded curling up on the carpet and falling asleep; don't think it would have gone over well, sadly.

"I dunno," I shrugged after a minute or two of consideration, only half of which involved me thinking about the question, with the rest dedicated to trying to decide on a color for the second to last petal on the flower in the coloring book.

Even though she tried to hide it, I still heard a little sigh coming from Dr. Veitch. Guess I hadn't pretended for long enough. She always told me I should take as much time as I needed to answer her questions, but how long I needed was never as long as she wanted.

"Maybe," I added, pulling a light purple crayon from the box. "I guess."

Satisfied with that answer, I turned back to the picture. It was turning out quite nicely, I thought. Better than some of the other ones I'd colored here. Dr. Veitch must have a whole drawer full of pictures by now - I'd even colored some of the same ones twice. There were some puzzles and games and stuff scattered around the office, too, but I always chose to color, unless she asked me to try something new. Sometimes even then. It was just easier to concentrate on coloring than the other things when she wanted me to talk.

"Do you feel like the other kids in your class are mean to you?" she asked after a few moments, as I finished up the main part of the petal, and tugged the other crayons closer to find a slightly darker purple to go around the edges. If I had been at home, I probably would have dumped the box out on the floor, to make the search easier. Dr. Veitch seemed like she was getting fed up with me already, however, so I resisted the temptation. "Do they make fun of you?"

"Sometimes," I nodded. Nadine, for all her faults, probably had kept me safe from a lot of teasing I would have otherwise been subject to, just because the other kids knew she was kinda friends with me.

"What kind of things do they say?" Dr. Veitch got up from her chair, walked over to the couch she invited me to sit on every time I saw her, and which I denied every time after the first, when I thought mommy was watching me from the office door, and would be mad at me if I didn't sit there like a good girl. She bent over, and I pushed the coloring book a little closer to her, so she could see what I'd done so far. "Very pretty," she smiled.

"It's all right," I blushed, shrugging, pretending to have forgotten the question.

"Penni, what kind of things do the other kids say to you?" she insisted.

My hand slipped, a dark purple line slipping over, through the sky, into the blue petal. "Stupid," I growled, throwing the crayon onto the floor.

"No, Penni, it's okay. Happens all the time." Dr. Veitch set her clipboard beside her on the couch, scooting closer to me.

"No, it's ruined," I told her, ripping the picture out of the book, crumpling it up in my fist. "I can't do anything right."

"Why do you think that, Penni?"

"Because I can't," I said simply, my fist tightening around the ball of paper.

"Penni... Penni?" I ignored her, getting up off of my stomach and leaning against the front of the couch. "Penni, do you want me to get your sister?"

I shook my head, rubbing at my eyes. "I'm fine."

"How about we talk about the other kids some other day, all right?" Dr. Veitch rested her hand on my shoulder gingerly, and I nodded. Really, I wouldn't have minded the subject as much if just that morning Nadine hadn't reminded me of what I'd told the doctor, that I couldn't do anything right. Except then it had involved a contest to see who could jump furthest off of the swings. She won, of course. She always won.

I set my ruined drawing down next to the coloring book, which I closed, no longer in the mood. I looked up at the clock, wishing, as I always did, Dr. Veitch would get a digital one, like the one on the microwave at home. I knew how to read the regular kind, with the hands and all, but I wasn't very good at it, and tended to get all mixed up. So I usually didn't try, since, at home, I could just go into the kitchen and find out what time it was, and it was much easier that way.

"Anxious to leave?"

I hurried to answer, not wanting to hurt her feelings, although she was quick to assure me she wasn't offended. Dr. Veitch is a nice woman, not at all like Dr. Hugo, and, even though I probably annoyed her at times, I didn't want her to think I didn't like her. She was the person who convinced me that maybe you didn't have to be in league with the moon in order to be a doctor. Then again, she wasn't exactly like any other doctor I'd ever been to, and sometimes I suspected she was pretending.

"Do you still miss the Girl Scouts?"

The question had been unexpected, and, until I'd thought about it, disconnected from our conversation up to that point. If there's one thing that will get the truth out of me, it's the unexpected. I nodded automatically.

I had been mad at mommy for months when she'd made me quit Girl Scouts. It was just for a year, she said, as if a year wasn't forever. And I hadn't even done anything all that bad. Certainly nothing to deserve banishment from what had been becoming one of my favorite things ever.

Selling cookies hadn't exactly been my favorite part, mostly because it was a little awkward asking a bunch of people I didn't know to buy stuff from me. Even so, I actually did pretty well, despite not expecting to sell to anyone but mommy and Caileigh, both of whom were addicted to Somoas. Jen told me it was cheating for me to go door to door in my uniform, said I was too cute for anyone to resist buying. She drove me around anyway.

It was most likely then that I got in the most trouble. Mommy told me before she went to work to wear a coat; it was still pretty cold outside. Jen hadn't been awake to hear the command, and... Well, if I had worn it, people might not see my uniform, and then they wouldn't know for sure if I truly was a Girl Scout. They could have thought I was an axe murderer or something, and not answered their door. Then how would I sell them cookies?

Besides, it wasn't really -that- cold out.

Jen was kind of suspicious when I told her mommy wasn't making me wear my coat. She even said she thought I should wear it anyway, but, in the end, I won, by making her give up, washing her hands of all responsibility should I get sick.

Mommy hadn't been pleased to find my coat still hanging in the closet when she got home from work, but she didn't make me quit then. She just lectured me some, and let me stay home from school that Monday to try to help me get over my cold.

I wasn't quite well by the next weekend, and my troop had a table set up, right between the two sets of doors in Wal-Mart. Mommy drove me there, so I didn't have much of a choice.

Until she left, of course. None of the other Girl Scouts were wearing a coat, and technically we were inside, even if the doors to outside were letting in bursts of cold air every few seconds, and one of the walls ended before it hit the ground, so carts could go through. Also, if Nadine was any indication, the other Scouts would have made fun of me for being the only one with a mommy who made them wear a coat.

I guess it might not have been a horrible idea to chance a little teasing after I noticed I was starting to shiver. Or after the troop leader noticed and asked why I didn't have my coat on. I didn't need it, I told her, blushing at Nadine giggling behind me. I wasn't cold. It was much warmer than I thought it would be. Yep.

I definitely should have followed my plan and put my coat back on once Alaine's mommy picked her up, since she was leaving five minutes before I was supposed to. We had just started to get busy then, though, and I kinda lost track of time.

Mommy wasn't pleased. And, like being sick for a week and a half afterwards wasn't bad enough, she made me drop out of Girl Scouts, and she wasn't going to let me join again until the next year, if I could show her I was "more mature" then. And yelling at her wasn't being mature, and wouldn't make her change her mind in any way I'd enjoy. It got me spanked, in fact, before I figured out how much she meant that.

"Do you think you could get mommy to let me join again?" I looked up hopefully.

"We'll... see, Penni." Dr. Veitch hesitated - she meant 'No', didn't want to come out and say it. "I was a Scout when I was your age. Had a great time. I used to love going camping."

"We never went camping," I sighed wistfully, envisioning all the fun camping trips the troop would be having while I was gone. I've never been camping, so I don't exactly know what it's like, but in my fantasies, it's a blast. No parents, no bedtimes, no rules... No beds, either, but who needs sleep, when you can stay up and play with the stars?

Dr. Veitch smiled. "Well, you might be a little young for that at the moment. I think I was nine before I was allowed to go."

"Oh." I sighed again. Nine. So far away, when there was something to wait for there, it might as well be ninety. Or even nineteen, which was when daddy told me I could have a boyfriend, if I was good. Maybe by then I'll be senile enough to want one.

"So, what was your favorite part about the Girl Scouts?" I shrugged. "Did you have a lot of friends there?" Shrug; most of the girls there were nice enough to me, yet I always got the feeling it was so they wouldn't get in trouble with the troop leader. I don't know if any of them actually liked me much. "Don't feel like talking, huh?"

Shrug, followed by a shake of the head. Then a nod, confused by whether the correct answer was yes or no. I hate questions phrased like that.

"Well, our time is just about up for today, anyway." Dr. Veitch got to her feet, picking up her clipboard in one hand, offering the other to me. I took it, though my other hand went to the seat of the couch, and I pushed myself to my feet that way instead. Her hand stayed on mine for a second too long. "Where'd you get that bruise, Penni?"

I looked down at my arm, having forgotten about the bruise there. "Oh, that? I got that from sword fighting," I told her. She took it much better than mommy, although she looked a bit skeptical. Mommy had threatened to take away my swords again, except she couldn't find them, and I wasn't about to tell her, no matter what. Eventually, she settled on making me promise not to play with them anymore. The pit of my stomach began to knot up again as I thought about it, knowing I probably wouldn't be able to keep the promise for long, not with the swords hiding up in the hay, tempting me.

"What about those scrapes?" Dr. Veitch asked, pointing down at my knees, below the bottom of my skort. She didn't sound as interested in them, almost like she was asking to make her other question not seem as odd.

"I fell off my swings," I glanced down at my feet, embarrassed, as if by telling her that much, she would know exactly how awful I'd done in my contest with Nadine.

If she did, she waited to laugh at me until she assured me "it happens to the best of us", and escorted me out to the waiting room, where Jen was waiting for me, flipping boredly through some magazine, which she quickly set back down onto the table beside her.

Jen smiled at me as she took my hand and walked me out to her car; neither of us had anything in particular to say, until I started to pay attention to the scenery passing by outside the car.

"This isn't the way home," I informed Jen.

"No, sweetie, we're going to the mall. Remember?" Jen glanced over at me, expression partly amused, partly worried. "Are you feeling all right, babe? We can go home if you want to..."

I could tell she didn't want to honor her offer even as she made it. Luckily, I didn't want her to, either. "Are we going there to get my ears pierced?" I asked, just in case.

Jen rolled her eyes, didn't bother to answer.

"Fine," I pouted, sulking down into the seat, though a plan was already starting to form in my mind.

Elizabeth

Chapter Four

I can be rather sneaky when I need to. It isn't something I like to do; it's not exactly a quality someone would normally look for in a hero. Heroes shouldn't -need- to be sneaky. They should be able to face their problems, and enemies, and whatever, head on.

I couldn't do that. I'd tried it, and I simply couldn't. I didn't like it - it even made my tummy feel a little upset - but I knew the end result would be worth it.

Unfortunately, as good as I could be at sneaking about, having Jen around made things much, much more difficult. I could be sneaky with Mr. Chaon, because he paid more attention to other kids than me, since I usually sat quietly at my desk and acted well-behaved. I could be sneaky with the other kids, too, as most of them didn't pay much attention to me most of the time, unless they'd come up with a new and exciting way to tease me, and Nadine wasn't around.

Jen keeps too close an eye on me, and knows me too well, for me to be sneaky around her. Even now, though especially back then. It was worse when Caileigh was around; as much as I liked her, and she was nice to me, she seemed to watch me even more carefully than Jen.

As a matter of fact, we had been at the mall for quite a while before I could even begin to consider putting my plan into action. We'd gone through a bunch of stores, from the bookstore, where I'd gotten Jen to buy me some stickers of the dragons in Harry Potter, to the shoe store, which would have been the perfect time to spring into action, if Jen hadn't insisted I sit beside her as she tried on about a kazillion pairs of shoes. I tried to convince her to let me walk around and find some I could try on, but she must have suspected my plot, and refused.

I also found the most awesome thing ever, while Jen looked at sunglasses - a pair of purple contact lenses. Jen wouldn't get those for me, or let me buy them for myself, not that I had enough money to anyway without borrowing a bit (well, most of it) from her.

"Look at them," I demanded, pointing them out, in case she thought I was talking about something else for some reason. "Aren't they cool?"

"You wouldn't like wearing contact lenses, sweetie," she said, all matter-of-factly. As if she would know what I'd like. And even if I didn't like it, that didn't mean wearing them wouldn't be worth it to have purple eyes, rather than my stupid green ones. "Come on, Penni, we have other stuff to do," she told me, grabbing my still pointing hand and dragging me out of the store before I could defeat her surely moon-induced bout of non-tolerance for all which was awesome with my superior logic. Times like that were what made me wonder if the moon hadn't invented big sisters in the first place.

Things like those, and what the "other stuff we had to do" turned out to be.

Now, I don't mind shopping with Jen. I even enjoy it a lot of the time. As long as we stay away from clothes. And I don't even mind (too much, anyway...) when she spends forever trying clothes on. I had been planning on her doing that, in fact, since it was about the only way I could think of to get her attention off me long enough to put any plans of mine into effect.

What I don't like is being the one spending forever trying clothes on, especially when Jen is the one deciding what I should be putting on next, and what "will look adorable" on me. It always made me wonder if Jen had forgotten that I wasn't a baby anymore, and therefore no longer there just for her to dress up like some kind of doll. Except that I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter...

Of course, I thought if I stood up to her, and told her what she didn't seem to realize, then I would have a choice. After all, isn't that what grown ups try to tell you all the time? If you stand up for yourself, then people will leave you alone? Or something like that, anyway. Whatever it is, I had never had the courage to try it myself, at least on anyone my own age. And it never really worked with anyone in my family, either.

As it turns out, it especially doesn't work with big sisters.

"I'm not putting that on," I told her, arms folded resolutely across my chest as I glared up at her, and the light blue blouse she was holding. "I'm tired of this... Can't we go somewhere else?"

"Aww, you're tired, sweetie?" Jen asked with a smile that informed me I had made something of a mistake. "Well, no problem, then." And before I could wonder if I had misread her expression, she herded me back into the dressing room, closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing?" I stepped away, narrowing my eyes at her as she put the shirt onto a hook on the wall.

"Lift up your arms, baby. I can't see how this fits you with that shirt on."

I pressed my crossed arms even tighter to my body, hardly able to believe her. "I don't need..." I started, only to be interrupted by a polite knock on the door.

"Yes?" Jen asked as she opened it, revealing the teenager who'd been sitting boredly at the desk in the front of the changing area a few minutes ago.

"Umm... I'm sorry, but there's only supposed to be one person per dressing room. See?" She nodded over at the sign hanging beside the big mirror behind me. "Sorry," she shrugged.

I couldn't help but stick my tongue out at Jen. Bet she'd get in all kinds of trouble now. Maybe even get thrown out of the store, and then I could sneak off through one of the other exits...

"Well, it's just my little sister," Jen answered calmly, as if all the things I was envisioning happening to her weren't about to occur. "She needs my help, you know."

"Hey!" I interjected angrily, eyebrows furrowing as I pouted, stomping my foot. "I do -not-!"

The employee actually had the nerve to giggle at me, before she turned and winked at Jen. "Oh, okay. No problem. Sorry to bother you."

"No problem," Jen smiled.

"Little sisters, huh?" The employee smiled, too, shaking her head as she shut the door and went back to her post.

"I do -not- need your help," I informed Jen, barely suppressing the urge to kick her.

Jen reached out and ruffled my hair. "Of course you don't," she said patronizingly. "Now lift your arms, sweetie. Come on, it'll be just like when you were a baby."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Look, I'll try it on myself, okay? Just... Go away."

"Well, if you insist." It must have been hard for Jen to keep a straight face as she left the dressing room; I could hear her giggling outside as I started to get undressed, her laughter fading as, I assumed, she walked away. I paused for a moment, lowered my arms to put my shirt back on, pulling it all the way back down to just above my belly button.

I hadn't been planning on putting my plot into action yet, but she'd gotten me mad. If I wasn't back by the time she returned, most likely with another outfit, let her worry. I'd be long gone by then. Really, it was the best time to start, since I knew exactly where the ear piercing place was from this store. While I could -probably- have found my way there from anywhere in the mall, if I had to, I was a little nervous about actually trying to. The mall is a big place, after all.

The teenager was sitting at her desk again, apparently not paying any attention to the mostly empty dressing rooms. Getting past her wouldn't be too much of a problem, not that she was likely to care even if she noticed me leaving. On the other hand, Jen was nowhere to be seen. That should have made me more confident, but instead, it froze my feet to the floor as I glanced around the store, chewing on my bottom lip.

Where could she be?

If I couldn't see her, surely that meant she wasn't anywhere too close, so she shouldn't be able to catch me. But... What if she wasn't? What if I just wasn't seeing her? I could remember a lesson we'd had in school the year before, about how everyone has a blind spot. That had freaked me out for a few days - if a dot on a piece of paper could vanish like that, what else was out there could?

Even though Jen claimed my blind spot wasn't big enough to hide anything large enough to be dangerous, I'd always wondered if that wasn't how the moon could influence so many people without their seeming to notice it. He could just sneak up to them by keeping in their blind spot, and do whatever he wanted to them.

And what if Jen could do the same thing, and hadn't wanted me to suspect, so she could use it against me sometime? Like now. What if she'd suspected my plot, and was trying to set me up so she'd be sure to catch me?

How unfair was that?

I stood there a few minutes, half of my mind shouting at me to go for it, the rest as scared as my feet were. The longer I stood there, though, the more chance Jen had of catching me. And how long had I been there already? Was it already too late?

"You okay, honey?" the girl behind the desk asked, starting to get to her feet. "You want me to find your sister for you?"

"No, I'm fine," I squeaked, darted back into my changing room. I looked over at the blouse, still hanging there, waiting for me, rolled my eyes as I began to take my shirt off again. "I am such a baby," I mumbled to myself, knowing full well how readily Jen, and Nadine for that matter, would agree.

The shirt was actually pretty cool, surprisingly enough - then again, even Jen had to have good taste every now and again. It had little pink hearts and white stars running along the bottom hem, and another star, this one sparkly, right at the center of the neck. Jen liked it, too, enough that, after making me try on one last skirt (a rather frilly and poofy pink one), she took it up to the front counter to buy it for me, and, finally, led me back out of the store.

I was beginning to wonder if I had chickened out of my last chance to start my plan, until Jen veered from her course to one of the mall's exits to make a short pit stop at the bathroom.

"I don't have to go," I insisted, lying. "And I'm not a baby. I can stay out here by myself for two minutes."

Jen looked at me suspiciously for a moment or two, until I was sure she would make me go into the bathroom with her anyway, but instead, she shrugged, shoved all her bags into my arms. "You go sit on the bench over there, okay? And you stay there, you hear me? Don't move one muscle."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Jen," I sighed, started to trudge over to the designated bench.

"And don't let anyone kidnap you," Jen added. She waited until I sat down to push open the bathroom door, giving me one last glance before she stepped inside.

I waited for a second, hardly recognizing that I was holding my breath until I let it out, sliding down from the bench. If I remembered the layout of the mall correctly, there would be plenty of time to get my ears pierced and be back before Jen got out of the bathroom. Surely once she saw how good I looked with my brand new earrings, she would see what a horrible mistake she'd been making, going along with mommy's stupid rule all this time.

Maybe she'd even take me to get my ears pierced again, so I could wear four earrings at once! Caileigh had like twenty holes in her ears, or a bunch anyway. Surely if it made her best friend look cool, Jen would realize it would make me look cool, too. Although I wasn't sure I wanted as many as she had, just yet. And then she could take me back to the bathroom.

I wasn't expecting to be gone for long, planning on being there and back before Jen left the bathroom - how long could it possibly take to pierce someone's ears? - but I gathered up all the bags into my arms anyway, to make sure nobody tried to steal my stuff. Or Jen's, I guess. She might not like that much.

We really had too many things, and I was nearly halfway to the piercing stand before I finally got done juggling it around, and finally had a somewhat comfortable way of holding everything. At least my arms didn't feel quite as much like they were falling off. Unfortunately, as I had been fighting with my baggage, I hadn't been paying a lot of attention to where I was going, other than to apologize for almost walking into a woman and her little girl, toddling crinkily next to her and staring after me as I walked off in the other direction.

I didn't even apologize to the man I actually did run into as I found my eyes being drawn back to the baby again, to see her eyes still on me, the bottom of what must have been her diaper peeking out from the hem of her dress. That was how Jen saw me, I told myself, shaking my head. And that was certainly -not- what I was. I would show her, and mommy, and everyone else.

All I had to do was find that stupid little store... booth... thing. I'd been in the mall enough times that the place I found myself in wasn't unfamiliar to me; I hadn't been there enough to know where anything was from there. I was right in front of a stage, where Santa Claus had sat way back near Christmas, and where I'd gotten my picture taken with him, and almost fallen off of his lap when I tried to impress him by saying I didn't need to be lifted down, and almost got down by myself.

The food court was right there, and a bunch of people about Jen's age were sitting at the tables and laughing loudly. I just barely kept myself from going over to the candy store by telling myself I wasn't sure how much it would cost to get my ears pierced, and I didn't want to not have enough. From there, the mall stretched out in three other directions besides where all the food places sat from there.

I turned around in a circle, unable to stop myself from feeling anxious, and perhaps a little scared. I had to hurry up... It wasn't supposed to take this long! Everywhere looked familiar, but I had no idea where they lay in the grand scheme of things. The map of the mall in my head was mostly just a clump of stores I liked in one section, and everything else lumped off somewhere else, and bore absolutely no resemblance to the way it really was, since I was used to just telling Jen or mommy I wanted to go somewhere, and being taken there. Or not, depending on how much they loved me that day.

"Are you lost, honey?"

I can never understand why everyone, or at least all grown up women, think my name is honey. This one was probably somewhere around mommy's age, I guess, and sitting at a table by the stage, surrounded by a bunch of brochures, and maps.

"No," I said, casually walking up to her table.

"Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly after a moment or two of me standing in front of her. I nodded. "Okay," she shrugged, and then finally turned her head slightly, giving me a chance to grab a map and dart back around to the other side of the stage, so she couldn't see that I really was a tiny bit lost.

The map turned out to be less help than expected, since it didn't bother to put the names of the stores where they belonged... They were all lumped at the bottom, and their spot on the map had numbers instead. There were altogether too many numbers, and by the time I started looking through the list for the number of the spot I thought belonged to my destination, I'd forgotten whether the second number was a 3 or a 8, and then I couldn't find the stupid spot again.

Sheepishly, I ducked around the stage, approached the table again. "Umm... Maybe I could use a little help..."

The lady smiled. "What can I do for you, honey?"

"I'm looking for the... umm... ear... piercy... place..." I blushed as my mind blanked, leaving me sounding rather more stupid than I had when I'd rehearsed the question in my head.

"It's right over that way," she pointed down the hall behind her. "Just keep going straight and you'll run right into it."

"Thanks," I muttered, still blushing, and rushed away. I probably didn't have much time now. I'd have to hurry...

Luckily, I didn't have to go far before I saw the familiar sight of The Piercing Pagoda. No wonder I couldn't remember what it was called. What kind of a name is pagoda? Also luckily, there was no line, and nobody around other than the woman working there.

She didn't notice me as I walked up to her little store, or as I pretended to look around, hoping she'd ask if I needed any help. Or when I tried to clear my throat, though I'm not sure I was loud enough for her to hear.

"Hello?" I spoke up finally, knowing I couldn't wait all day.

"Good afternoon," she droned, the smile on her lips very similar to the one mommy gave me when she was upset about something, but didn't want me to know. "Whatcha need?"

"I need my ears pierced," I stated with an authoritative nod.

"Where's your mommy, kid?"

I blinked a couple times, hardly expecting that response. "At work..."

She sighed. "Look, kid, I can't pierce your ears unless your mommy or daddy is here. Unless you're older than eighteen." She smirked. "Which I'm pretty sure you're not."

My tummy sank, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. "What?"

"Sorry, kid, those are the rules." She didn't sound particularly sorry, and with that, she turned around and started to straighten up one of the earring stands.

I stared at her, and all the earrings around her, earrings I couldn't wear for what was sure to be an eternity, for a long time, before I realized I should probably be going back to the bathroom, before Jen got out, even if my plan had self-destructed.

I pulled the map back out of the bag I'd shoved it into, glad for a brief moment to see that at least the restrooms were clearly marked, until I saw there was more than one set throughout the mall. Which had we been at?

I began walking back towards the stage, sure that once I'd reached there, inspiration would strike.

I never got there.

I was still trying to decipher the map, glad this hall was empty, so there wasn't anyone to bump into, almost missing the sight of someone very familiar storming towards me, the expression on her face less than pleased.

"Jen?" I asked nervously, stuffing the map into one of the bags without even attempting to fold it. I hadn't noticed my tummy returning after sinking into the floor in front of the pagoda, but it must have, because it was starting to do acrobatics inside me. I'd never seen Jen like that before - she seemed a little worried, but mostly just angry.

"What the -hell- is wrong with you?!" she demanded as she drew closer. Before I could even fully grasp how mad I'd made her for her to be using bad words in front of me, her hand was wrapped around my wrist, surely almost cutting off the circulation to my hand, and she was dragging me away.

But not towards any of the exits. She was heading for a bench by the side of the hallway.

"Jen, what are you doing?" I squeaked, struggling to break free to no affect. I began to sniffle nervously as she sat down, and I suddenly felt myself being lifted up. I let go of the bags, barely heard them fall to the ground as I was placed over her lap. "Jen?" My stomach finally stopped flopping around, instead freezing into a block of ice that spread to the rest of my insides. She wouldn't...

From the corner of my eye, I could see her hand going up into the air behind me, but even then I didn't believe, wouldn't believe.

And then her hand landed right on the seat of my skort, making me jump a little and shout, "Jen!", hoping the begging tone in my voice was enough to make her stop. It wasn't. Her hand lifted again, and I wanted to try to say something, to come up with something to convince her I didn't deserve this, but then I was too busy with things like "Ow!" and "Stop!" as I felt her hand slap down across my bottom again.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded, not giving me time, or reprieve, to answer. "You scared the hell out of me, Penni. What were you thinking?!"

I started to cry as she started swatting a fresh spot on my bottom. I almost started to leak from somewhere else, too, the pain almost making my already full bladder let go, but I fought to keep control. I wasn't saying anything by that point, just crying. I think I could feel my legs starting to kick behind me without my consent, though I couldn't quite tell.

And finally, she stopped. I don't know how long I laid across her lap, bawling like the little baby she thought I was. I thought I heard her talking to someone above me, and then saw what might have been a security officer walking off, but for all I knew, I was imagining them, as reality started to crash back around me, making me realize fully what had just been done.

Jen had just spanked me in the middle of the mall. The mall that probably every person in my school, or that I knew from anywhere, went to. What if someone had seen me?! What if they'd seen me not only being spanked, but crying like a fountain? The humiliation of it all was almost worse than the spanking itself.

Jen lifted me, put me down on my feet as she stood and began to collect the bags, her face still red with anger. But I didn't care about that.

I glared up at her, probably knowing how she'd felt a few minutes before - madder at my sister than I'd ever been before. "I hate you!" I tried to scream, although my voice was a little hoarse and choked now. "You're the worst big sister -ever-!"

Jen stopped in her tracks, and I saw her expression turn hurt for a second before it reverted to angry. "You'd better just hope I don't tell dad what you did," she growled.

My stomach started to twist up at the possibility of another spanking. "I hate you," I repeated, more quietly, right before I turned and tried to run away, not wanting to see her ever again.

Jen is a good deal bigger and faster than me, however, so I only got a few steps before her hand was clutching my wrist again, and using it to pull me down the hall, as oblivious to my struggles as it had been earlier.

My bottom and face were burning as we passed through the mall. I felt like every eye was on me as I fought against Jen's evil grasp. My bladder felt even closer to letting go now, and I was sure any minute I was going to wet my pants, yet I still couldn't bring myself to say anything until, at last, right at the entrance of the mall, Jen turned to me, finally seeming to notice my struggling.

"What?" she asked.

"I haff to go to the baffwoom," I mumbled, looking down at my feet, humiliation overpowering my hatred for her, nearly drowning out the end of my sentence as I noticed my lisp was back.

"Oh, for the love of..." she sighed. I could practically see her eyes rolling heavenward. "Can you hold it until we get home?"

I weighed my options - risk ticking Jen off more by forcing her to trek back across the mall, or risk having an accident in her car.

"No," I answered, barely audible, glancing up to see her face and immediately wincing, nearly expecting another spanking.

Jen shook her head. "Fine."

That was the last thing either of us said to each other that afternoon. We sat in silence in the car, me a lot more gingerly than her, shifting back and forth every couple minutes and staring at the floorboards bitterly, Jen staring straight out at the road, her knuckles white against the steering wheel.

Maybe it hadn't been all that good of a plan after all.

Chapter Five

We didn't say much to each other for a while after that, either. That may have had something to do with me not giving her too many chances to say anything, of course, but you never really know.

Mommy asked me why I was sitting all funny at dinner that night, gave me a weird look when I insisted I wasn't, and apparently believed me, since she didn't bring it up again. She probably asked Jen about it later, when I was sulking in my room, or already in bed, yet Jen was at least nice enough not to say anything. Or if she was, mommy didn't feel the need to come up with any more of a punishment for me.

As nice as that may have been of Jen, she was still the number one enemy for a couple days, making lunchtime particularly difficult, as I was determined to say as little as possible to her. The moon had used people to do some awful things to me, but Jen, who was supposed to be my big sister and look out for me and all that, had done this herself. I could feel that, somehow, beneath my slowly dissolving anger, helped along a bit by Jen breaking the rules and letting me have dessert first for a couple days afterwards, even though that had kept me from eating more than a couple bites of macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly before running off back to the barn to sit in the loft by myself, contemplating why she could be bribing me like that.

I once heard somewhere that having a big appetite was a sign of good health; that just went to prove to myself that my health wasn't particularly great. I've never been one to eat very much, or want to, although I'd tried to convince myself to for about a week after hearing that, which caused me to have a sore tummy every day until I gave up. I very rarely even ate dessert with lunch, which Jen knew full well. The first time, I suspected her of trying to get me in more trouble, but after spending an anxious afternoon in the barn and then spending a while walking around in the field, raising my courage to go back home, I found Jen had apparently said nothing about it to mommy.

After that, I couldn't quite think of a good explanation for Jen's actions. The best I could come up with was she was trying to fatten me up, like the witch in Hansel and Gretel, but I was pretty sure she wasn't planning on eating me, and if she was, she was doing a rotten job of the actual fattening up, since, according to the scales in the bathroom, I was still the same weight after the third day of her "desserts-first" policy.

I had plenty of time to come up with new theories, and try to perfect my old ones, since Nadine was apparently too busy to come to the barn with me. Instead, I spent most of those days laying up in the hay and staring at the ceiling, until I was tired of the prickliness of the hay, and then I laid down on the floor and did the same thing. Occasionally I would take out one of my swords and take a few practice swings, but it just wasn't the same on my own, and, besides, it was too hot out to go hunting down the various monsters in the woods around the barn, even if I wanted to risk Jen somehow finding out I'd been in there. Luckily, none of the monsters felt like invading the barn on those days, either. Must have been too hot for them, too.

It was on the third day, just when I thought I was about to go insane from boredom and had almost broken down enough to consider going home to make Jen do something with me, that I saw a patch of yellow hair coming up the ladder, and underneath it, Nadine. I couldn't help but smile as I told her, "You can't come up here. This is my stronghold."

Nadine rolled her eyes, hopping from the last rung of the ladder onto the floor of the loft. I tried to cross my arms authoritatively, doing my best impersonation of mommy when she'd given me an order, like "Go wash your hands!" or "Go take a bath!" or "Eat your eggplant!" Nadine didn't seem to be impressed, much less intimidated, unless her response to being intimidated was shoving the other person and making them fall over.

"It's my barn, dummy," she said, now crossing her arms, and looking much more like mommy than I probably had. "So if it's anyone's stronghold, it's mine."

"Do you want to sword fight for it?" I asked, although I was glad she just looked at me like I was stupid before dusting off an old upside-down bucket to sit on rather than saying yes. It was too hot for that, even if my bruise from last time was almost all the way healed.

I started to sit on the floor, decided not to, since, like this, I was actually taller than Nadine, and she'd have to look up at me for once. If she wanted to look at me, that is, but instead she was boredly glancing every other way, as if she hadn't been up here a billion times before and didn't know where everything was. Eventually, I gave up and sat down, rather gingerly, after all, crossing my legs in front of me.

Her eyes finally fell on me, now that I was once again below her, and it was then that I noticed something was different about them.

"Where did you get those?" I demanded, new anger rising up from my stomach.

"Do you like them?" Nadine batted her eyes a couple of times and giggled, a sound that did nothing to make me feel better about her having -my- purple contact lenses I'd been denied by stupid, stupid Jen. "Oh, of course you do. Jen mentioned you going on about them at the mall the other day."

"Well, they're cool," I admitted begrudgingly, knowing full well what was coming next.

"You know, it's too bad you couldn't have gotten them, but Caileigh agreed with Jen. You just wouldn't like them." Nadine shrugged innocently. "I guess they're not for little kids like you."

"I am NOT a little kid!" I screamed at her, tears stinging my eyes as I crossed my arms and sulked, eyes now firmly planted on the dust around my legs. It just wasn't fair. Nadine isn't that much older than me, but she always got what she wanted, and what I wanted, for that matter. I never got -anything-.

One day, she'd know what it was like to be me. One day she'd see.

Except... She'd always be older than me, and there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

"If you're not a little kid, then why are you sitting like that?"

My eyes shot up at the question, the expression on her face telling me right away what I'd feared, although I asked anyway, hardly able to stop myself. "She -told- you?"

"She may have mentioned it to Caileigh," Nadine answered, her voice mysterious, before turning annoyed, "before Caileigh made me come over here 'cause Jen told her you'd been over here alone for the past couple days."

"They were talking about me?" I asked, surprised. Nadine shrugged.

As it turns out, they -had- indeed been talking about me, or so I've been told.

"What were you thinking?" Caileigh had asked, shaking her head. She really was nice, and at the time I would have much rather had her for a big sister, even if she sometimes treated me like even more of a baby than Jen in terms of what I was allowed to do around her.

"What would you have done?" Jen demanded, probably sulking down into the couch at her friend's reproach.

"I think I would have started with waiting until I got home." Caileigh shook head again, her black hair, reaching almost to the seat of the couch, moving like waves behind her. "You know, like the Big Sister Handbook says."

Jen snorted. "Oh, please. Like I ever look at -that- anymore. What a waste of time!"

"You should really treat her with more respect; she's the only little sister you've got." Caileigh's voice was calm, like it always was, but anyone who knew her could tell she was far from happy at the moment.

"Respect? Her? She's just a little kid! She probably doesn't even know what the word means." She started to laugh, was interrupted by Caileigh leaping to her feet and grabbing the coffee table in front of the couch, sending empty cups and coasters sailing every which way as she swung at Jen's face.

Jen had only a split second, but that was enough time for her to duck out of the way, diving off of the couch into a perfect roll over to daddy's favorite chair, which she then shoved with all her might at Caileigh. Caileigh jumped out of the way, up onto the couch, which was sent spinning as the chair crashed into it, forcing her to let go of the table to keep her balance.

Lunging forward, Jen grabbed the fallen table, swung it at Caileigh, still struggling on the couch. For a second, it looked like it was over... Then Caileigh's hands shot up and grabbed the edge of the table, just inches from the side of her head, right as the couch came to a halt.

"You never did appreciate her," Caileigh said, her voice still calm, but much lower than normal.

"Who cares?!" Jen shouted, struggling to wrench her table free from Caileigh's grasp. "She's just a stupid little kid!"

Caileigh's eyes flared. "I care. And, on behalf of the Society of Big Sisters, I -will- defeat you!"

Or something like that, I'm sure. It would have been right around then that mommy came home, so they would have had to stop fighting. Which is too bad, because Caileigh certainly would have won, and then none of the rest of this would have happened.

Strangely, when I got back home, Jen didn't show any signs of having been in a fight, and the living room was all cleaned up again. Since I still didn't want to talk to her if I could avoid it, I didn't ask her about it. She pretended to be all nice and such, asking if I'd had fun in the barn, a question which was met with a shrug before I escaped to the bathroom to wash my hands before mommy saw them and complained.

"What is up with you two?" mommy asked at dinner as another night went by with the two of us doing our best not to look at each other. Fork of spaghetti halfway to my mouth, I started to answer, got cut off by "And don't you tell me 'Nothing' again, either."

I turned anxiously to glance at Jen, trying not to meet her eyes while, at the same time, trying to figure out if she was going to say something at last, something to get back at me for being the cause of the fight between her and Caileigh earlier - the fight they would both later deny having when I asked them about it.

Fortunately, at least in a way, neither of us had to answer, since, at that moment, mommy spoke again. "Watch what you're doing, Penni!"

I own very little white clothing; a couple dresses, one or two shirts. For one thing, a lot of my white clothes had been turned pink a while back, when I'd tried to be helpful and do laundry on my own while Jen did homework and mommy and daddy were out on a date. I didn't mind too much, since pink is better than white anyway, but daddy had been a little adngry. For another, white clothes had a habit of not staying that color for long around me.

Mostly because of things like this. By the time mommy spoke, it was already too late. All I had time to do was watch as the sauce covered noodles slid off of my fork, straight onto my shirt, as if attracted by the pure, clean (well, except for some dust and hay and stuff) fabric, then fell down between my legs onto the chair.

"Penni!" Mommy had a way of scolding that didn't require her to say anything more than my name, yet still was enough to make my face burn red as I picked up the spaghetti from the chair, setting it down on my napkin.

"Maybe you ought to wear a bib," Jen suggested, trying to sound as if she was joking, although I'm sure she meant it.

"I don't need a bib!" I shouted, finally meeting her eyes in order to glare at her.

"All right, all right, calm down," daddy said quickly. "Don't yell in the house, Penni."

"But daddy..." I complained.

"Go get the sauce off your shirt, sweetie," mommy told me. I obeyed with a sigh, stopping at the edge of the bathroom doorway to try to hear what mommy was saying to Jen. I hoped she was telling her not to be mean, not that Jen would ever listen.

Wet spot on my shirt in place of the sauce, I returned to the table a few minutes later, blushing anew as I saw Jen and remembered her words before hopping up into my chair and trying to continue eating as if nothing had happened. My hand had other plans, however. I'm not sure if the moon was trying to control me, like he did with so many other people, or if he had made my glass extra slippery, but he must have done something, because almost as soon as I'd picked up my cup of water and began to bring it towards my face, I saw it falling down, down towards my plate of spaghetti.

Water splashed up all over me - if only I'd waited a few more seconds, I could have avoided going into the bathroom and missing seeing Jen lectured - soaking my shirt and dripping down onto my chair and legs and shorts.

Jen's face was shocked for a few seconds, and then she was overcome with laughter, ringing louder and louder in my ears, all but drowning out mommy's second "Penni!" of the night. Face red, tears threatening, I jumped back down from my chair and stormed off, out of the house. I thought about going to the barn, but I felt too tired for that, and so I sank down onto my swing instead, gently letting myself rock back and forth as I stared upwards.

Clouds were all about, dashing back and forth hurriedly, though mostly keeping the whole sky blanketed, like they were gearing up for rain soon. I hoped it would come that night, while I was asleep, instead of the next day.

"You okay?" daddy asked after a few minutes, sinking down into the swing next to me. I shrugged. "Did you and your sister have a fight, princess?"

I smiled at the nickname, reminding myself that at least daddy obviously liked me the best, since he never called Jen that as far as I knew. "No," I answered, not quite sure if it was true or not. Sure, I was mad at her, and she was mean and awful to me, but I didn't recall an actual fight between us having taken place.

"Then why don't you come in and finish dinner, okay?" We swang back and forth in silence, swing set creaking ever so slightly, for a minute or two.

"I'm not wearing a bib," I said at last.

"No, of course not," daddy assured me. "Jen was just joking, Penni. Everyone can be a little messy sometimes, especially with spaghetti."

"We shouldn't be," I sighed sadly, recalling a conversation I'd had with Nadine at school once, when I'd had a similar problem with the spaghetti there. "We're part Italian... We're s'posed to be experts."

Daddy smiled, didn't quite laugh, although he looked like he wanted to. "Well, you're still an expert-in-training," he explained, sounding sure enough of himself that I couldn't help but believe him. "By the time you're Jen's age, you'll be just as good as she is."

"Okay," I replied, a smile of my own finally breaking across my face, paused by daddy raising a finger suddenly, as if I had interrupted him. Which I guess I had.

"But only if you practice," he warned. "Now, are you ready to get to work?"

Although I was starting to feel better, I still shook my head.

"What's wrong, princess?"

"I'm full."

Daddy laughed. "Well, come inside anyway, okay? It's windy out here."

I nodded, holding out my arms as daddy stood up, letting him lift me down from the swing, even though I was perfectly capable of getting down myself. As we walked back to the house, I glanced up at the sky, watching the clouds blow back and forth.

For a split second, there was enough of a break in the clouds for me to see the moon underneath, where he had sat, scheming and plotting. He was full tonight, too, all big and round, though not too bright yet, since the sun hadn't yet set, and was still keeping him from doing anything -too- evil.

A shiver moved down my spine and I quickened my steps, no longer wanting to be outside. The clouds may have covered the moon back up, but that didn't mean he wasn't still there, waiting, watching. I thought I would be safer inside; I knew I could never truly escape him.

I was right about the second part, at least.

Elizabeth

Chapter Six

"Good evening," I forced myself to smile, extending a gloved hand to Dr. Hugo, who hurriedly stuffed his little mirror on a stick thing into the pocket of his white coat before elegantly taking my hand and kissing the top of it.

"Wonderful to see you here," he said. "Would you care for some punch?"

"No, thank you," I answered, trying to think of a civil way to end the conversation before it started. "Oh, look, there's Dr. Irvine!"

I hurried off, long pink skirt flowing behind me, sparkling from the light of the chandelier hanging above me. Luckily, it was turning out to be much easier to walk in heels this time than it was when last I'd - ahem - borrowed mommy's, and thought for sure I'd broken my ankle after about the hundredth fall, one that had been particularly bad.

Unfortunately, I somehow had managed to guess the direction which Dr. Irvine really had gone in since last I'd escaped from his attention. Maybe if my heels had been a little bigger, I could have seen through the crowd better; it shouldn't have been hard to avoid him since, like Dr. Hugo, and a few other doctors strewn about the room, he was wearing his white coat instead of a tuxedo or pretty dress, like everyone else. Of course, since they were doctors, after all, so what else would they wear? Unless they were fake doctors like Dr. Veitch.

"Ahh, Penni, there you are!" Dr. Irvine stepped forward, wrapping his arm firmly around my shoulders. "Have I told you yet how incredibly pleased I am that you've finally come to your senses?"

"A few times," I smiled weakly, starting to feel a little queasy, as I always did whenever I was around him. I could see a few needles in the pockets of his coat, didn't care to guess just what they were for. "I'm... feeling a bit thirsty. I think I'm going to get some punch."

"Oh, perfect!" his face brightened, as he started to move through the crowd, arm still on me, steering me along beside him. "I have something of a thirst myself."

"Perfect," I echoed, much less enthusiastically than he.

"Penni, my dear, have you ever thought about having some of your internal organs removed?" he asked conversationally.

"My... what?" I had a vague recollection of hearing the phrase on a TV show once, but, if I wasn't mistaken, they were somewhat important. "I think I need those, don't I?"

Dr. Irvine laughed, picking up one of those little cubes of cheese from the buffet table we were passing in front of. "Oh, no! Definitely not! You only use a couple of them really, and the rest are just for show, you see. Mostly just take up space, but a growing girl like you, she needs all the space she can get, doesn't she?"

I wasn't entirely convinced, but he -was- a doctor after all. "Yes?"

"Oh, perfect!" He let go of my shoulder for long enough to clap his hands, a look of pure joy on his face, and then he reached out towards the table, swept about half the dishes off and onto the floor, sending fish sticks and tater tots, and something strange and globby and possibly alive that I could only assume was caviar, since I wasn't quite sure what that actually was or looked like, flying. A few of the more well-dressed guests turned to see what the commotion was, annoyance plain in their expressions, though their pure black eyes didn't show any emotion at all. "We can get that taken care of right now!"

"I really am pretty thirsty..." I protested, starting to back away from him.

"Nonsense!" he exclaimed, grabbing me by the waist and lifting me up onto the buffet table, laying me down on the space he had just cleared. "This won't take but a minute." He reached into his pocket and dug around for a few moments, taking out a few needles, each bigger than the last, and setting them on the table, before producing a scalpel. "There you are!" he smiled as he kissed the blade, then bent down over me, positioning the blade over my tummy.

"Maybe we should wait until the ball's over," I suggested nervously, fighting to keep every inch of my body from squirming and succeeding with just about everything but my feet, hoping he wasn't really planning on cutting my pretty dress.

"No time like the present," he countered. "Now, this might hurt a bit..."

He leaned in closer to me, but set the scalpel down for a moment, instead deciding to knock lightly on my stomach. "What are you doing?" I asked, not sure I wanted the answer.

"Just trying to find the best place to start the cut," he assured me, picking the blade back up. "That should be perfect."

I gave a little whimper, feet starting to squirm more violently, enough so to hit the side of a bowl, knocking the contents over onto my legs.

"Oh, Penni," Dr. Irvine sighed. "Do be careful. You've let the spinach loose."

He changed his position for a second, and I saw that was, indeed, the contents of the overturned bowl. There was a mass of green laying across my shoes, moving and pulsing ever so slowly, like the tentacles of some great underwater beast. One of the leaves, a more productive one than the rest, started to crawl across my foot. I had to bite my lip to keep from squealing as, through my tights, I felt it wrapping itself around my leg. I squeezed my eyes closed.

Dr. Irvine shook his head, then, I assume, went back to his task. "Really, Penni, be still!" he ordered.

"Penni, what are you doing?" a rather angry voice asked.

I opened my eyes hesitantly. "Hi, mommy. You look pretty." She did, too, with a dark blue dress, and matching diamond earrings, tiara, and necklace.

She ignored my attempt at lightening her mood. "Do you know how far past your bedtime it is, young lady?"

"We were just..." Dr. Irvine began to explain, only to be cut off by mommy picking me up off of the table and setting me back down on the floor, where I immediately began to stomp my foot to get the spinach off, sending little leaves scrambling every which way, though mostly under the table. I didn't get quite all of it off, but I didn't want to touch it with my hands, so it was good enough for the time being.

"I'm afraid that will have to wait until later," mommy told him. "-Some- little girl is in big trouble."

"You'd let Jen be up this late," I pouted.

"Jen doesn't need a bedtime," mommy said, grabbing my hand. "She's a big girl, and so I like her more."

I considered informing her just how unfair that was; however, I had a feeling it would have as much affect as it did every night when I complained about having to go to bed well before Jen. Anyway, it was probably best not to get myself into any more trouble than I was already in.

I struggled against mommy's grip, only to be met with exactly as much success as I'd had with Jen at the mall. This was far more important, though, and I knew I was going to have to do something, or...

The chattering of hundreds of people droning on about random things at the front of the room began to die down. Mommy stopped, turned, as the moon himself began to descend through a massive hole opening in the ceiling. I've always thought that he looked much less threatening as he got more powerful, and his appearance here did nothing to persuade me otherwise. He was always the creepiest when he was just a sliver, sharp and dangerous against the night sky, or when you couldn't see him at all, although I could always feel his presence, his eyes on me.

However, he was full tonight, big and round and, to be honest, quite harmless looking as he descended, beaming. The people gathered in the ballroom began to clap, his smile growing larger as he saw his servants' respect. The applause spread out from the front of the room like a ripple; by the time it reached mommy, I was prepared for it, darting away as soon as she lifted her hands, vanishing into the sea of legs.

"I'm glad to see all of you here tonight," the moon spoke, his voice loud and booming, filling the ballroom, as befitted his size. "This is, as I'm sure you all know, a truly glorious occasion."

His audience began to clap again, yet there was just enough of a pause to allow me to hear that I was being pursued. Quickly, I ducked under a buffet table, crawling under the hanging tablecloth and huddling silently as the sound of clapping began to die down around me. I dared a peek out, saw none of the legs around me moving, sat down with a sigh of relief, to figure out my next move.

"We have all accomplished something today," the moon continued.

That was what he thought, I smiled wryly, glancing around my surroundings. There wasn't much light under there, but after a few moments, it was clear I was in the wrong place.

"Dang it," I pouted, lifting the edge of the tablecloth again. The next table was only a few feet away... If I was careful, I should be able to make it without drawing any attention to myself, especially with everyone staring at the moon.

"Your years of work and dedication to my cause have finally paid off," he droned. I nearly laughed as I crawled out from the table. Yeah, dedication. Like he hadn't brainwashed them all.

I was almost all of the way out when I felt a tugging at my leg. Before I had a chance to figure out what it was, I had been dragged back under the table. I gave out a gasp, kicking out at whoever had a hold of me. My foot connected with nothing, just as it did with my second and third kicks. Then I felt the familiar sensation of something crawling up my leg, wrapping itself tighter and tighter around me as it tugged me further and further under the table.

"Get off!" I demanded, although I knew spinach was notoriously disobedient. I didn't have time to deal with it now, nor to fight it off, so, despite my sorrow at their loss, and the loss of the inches they added to my height, I kicked off my shoes, then lifted my dress and struggled out of my tights, leaving them for the spinach while I crawled, much more quickly this time, out into the throngs of people outside.

"As I assured you all along, everybody has a breaking point, even the so-called Savior of the Stars."

The moon's voice was much louder than I'd remembered out in the open, almost hypnotic. I shook my head, forced it clear, made my way to the next buffet table, carefully avoiding the food strewn out all around this one. I lifted the tablecloth a moved underneath, at which point I had a stroke of luck. Or, rather, two, at the same time. Unfortunately, instead of both being good luck, only one was, and even that could have been better.

Instead of encountering the floor, my hand suddenly seemed to have found a large hole under the table, and I nearly fell forward into it. My other hand frantically reached out, found solid ground.

"Penni?" a small, frightened voice asked hesitantly from underneath me.

My eyes began to adjust to the lack of light under the table, enough to see that the hole I'd nearly fallen into had a number of metal bars across it (though none where my hand had been), and seemed to cover a pit, the walls of which were pockmarked by a series of doors, all of which had large padlocks on the handles.

"I'm here," I said, but my stomach was beginning to churn uncomfortably. This was what I was here for - not just why I'd come to this ball, pretending to have given up on my job, but why I'd been born in the first place. But what could I do? The bars looked to be placed far enough apart that I could fit between them, if I didn't mind falling quite a long way to the floor below, which I most certainly did, since having a broken leg didn't sound like much fun. Once I was down there, however, if I could even still move, I had no way of opening the doors.

And then I felt something wrapping itself around my other hand, something that, even by the feel of it, I could tell was green, and most certainly slimy and gross.

"And now, she's here with us, having abandoned her foolish mission once and for all!" The moon's announcement was met with the loudest applause yet, as I struggled underneath the table, trying to figure out a way to get myself free from the rest of the spinach without moving too much. I couldn't reach the other edges of the pit with my free hand, and the bars didn't look like they would be particularly comfortable to have all of my weight on. The spinach began to wind its way up my hand, around the arm of my dress.

"But where is she now?" the moon asked, and I could practically see everyone in the ballroom looking around, searching for me. For a second, I thought I was safe here. "WHERE IS SHE?!!!" the moon howled.

There was a split second where I could hear banging of some sort, and then light flooded into my little space as the table flew onto its side. I tried to pry myself free desperately, prepared to risk the jump into the pit rather than face the moon, felt myself being pushed up against the bottom of the table, accompanied by a sound I couldn't quite place, until I saw my dress and one of my gloves still laying on the floor next to the pit, leaving me naked as I faced my greatest foe.

"What are you doing?" he howled, gliding towards me, the crowd parting to make way for him.

There was no answer. There was nothing I could say, or, if there was, it was pushed out of my mind by the sudden realization that I really wanted to pee. Somewhere in the distance, I could have sworn I heard a door closing. I tried to move, tried to at least cover myself, but it was as if I was being held up against the table, helpless.

"You will not make a fool of me," the moon as he drew near, his eyes blazing with the light of a billion suns.

Despite his threat, the light of his eyes quickly dimmed, became vaguely flower shaped, then, at last, turned into my night light.

The rest of the ballroom began to fade away as well, leaving only a pounding heart and a rather full bladder behind. I hopped out of bed, almost falling down as my exhausted feet touched the ground. I forced my legs to stay up, decided I would risk one of my family members still being awake and seeing me in my naked state, as I was too tired to hunt out new clothes to replace my dress.

Jen was just coming out of the bathroom as I approached, and I shoved past her, the pain in my bladder growing stronger with every second I was awake. I shoved the door closed, lifted the toilet lid, let myself sit down, relieved I had actually made it. It'd seemed close there for a minute.

As soon as I began to let go, I knew something was wrong. I could feel a warm dampness around my bottom that shouldn't have been there, but, sleepy and unsure of what it was, I ignored it for a precious few seconds, when I could have hoped to stop myself.

All it took was a single glance down at myself to realize what was wrong, and by that point, it was far too late.

I wasn't naked after all. My mind began to work much more clearly as soon as I noticed this, my dream finally separating itself from reality. And leaving me with a very soaked pair of pajama bottoms and panties.

Mommy and daddy were going to kill me; there were no two ways around it. I was a big girl, I couldn't be having accidents like this! Once they saw this, it would be forever before they would start to believe that again. I'd be lucky if they ever let me get my ears pierced, or cool contact lenses, or anything else I wanted.

I didn't realize I was crying until I heard Jen's voice outside the bathroom door. "Penni? Are you okay, babe?"

"Go away!" I demanded, wiping my eyes and sniffling softly as I imagined all my grown up privileges now, and that I'd ever have, slipping away. Would I even be allowed to take baths by myself anymore? Heck, I'd probably be lucky to be allowed in the bathroom at all without supervision.

I couldn't let that happen. I was just going to have to find some way to hide all the evidence. Maybe if I just shoved it all under my bed... It was as good a plan as I was likely to come up with, so I got to my feet, listened at the door for any signs of Jen, but all was silent.

I opened the door, almost allowing myself to feel confident about the plan, until I saw Jen leaning against the wall, waiting for me. Her eyes went wide when she saw me, and then I could see her struggling to keep from laughing as she spoke.

"Penni, what happened?" Jen asked.

I ducked back into the bathroom, closed the door again, tears filling my eyes anew. I was dead.

"Penni?" Jen knocked on the door a few times, and every time I ignored her, until she finally stopped.

If I hadn't gotten her so mad at the mall the other day, my outlook might not have been quite as grim. She already thought I was a baby - surely she was expecting something like this at some point. But, if she was still mad at me, she would tell mommy and daddy, and...

There was another knock, much lighter this time. "Penni, let me in."

"Go away!" I sniffled.

"Okay, fine." Jen's shrug was practically audible. I almost thought I'd won, until she opened the door, carrying a pajama set and panties, which she set on the edge of the sink. "You don't have to put these on if you don't want to."

I stared at her for a minute, then looked over at the pajamas. "My shirt is still dry," I said finally.

"Yes, but it won't match those shorts."

She was right. The pajamas I had on now were light purple; the new ones were pink. I -never- mismatched them.

"When you're changed, give your wet things to me, and I'll take care of them, okay?"

I looked at her suspiciously, nodded anyway. Whatever she was up to, it couldn't be any worse than what would happen when she told mommy and daddy. Might as well let her do what she wanted. It was easier that way.

I got changed quickly, reopened the door and shoved my old pajamas at Jen. She took them, glanced expectantly at me. I stared up at her, silent, for a minute, before she shrugged and started to walk away. Finally, my tummy starting to feel bad, I blurted out, "Thank you."

Jen turned, smiling. "No problem, sweetie. But you owe me one."

I nodded dumbly. If I'd known what that "one" was, or that her solution for my problem was as simple as sticking them into the washing machine for the rest of the night, until mommy and daddy went to work and they could actually be washed, I would have yanked my clothes back out of her arms, and maybe kicked her, if I thought I could get away with it.

I didn't; I just nodded.

"Goodnight, Penni." Jen bent over, gave me another goodnight kiss on the forehead before vanishing into the darkness of the rest of the house.

I wandered back to my room, still feeling a bit numb, a little queasy, very anxious for what the next day would bring. -Was- she still mad enough to tell mommy and daddy?

Outside my window, the full moon was shining brightly, as if in answer, although I didn't realize what he was saying yet. All I knew was that this had to be all his fault.

"Jerk," I muttered, sticking my tongue out at him before laying back down on my bed. A few seconds later, I was fast asleep.

Chapter Seven

The sound of water dripping filled my ears, and for a moment, I wondered if I was still in the bathroom, if I hadn't fallen back asleep after pushing my way inside and slumping down onto the seat. I had been pretty tired, up until the point that I realized what I was doing, but that could very well have been my dream - I tended to feel quite awake in those as well.

My room slowly came into focus as I rubbed my eyes, those fears washing away, as if being carried away by the rain running down the outside of my window. Of course, I then had new fears to worry about, things I might not have needed to worry about if I could have had another chance to escape from the bathroom on my own, hopefully without running into Jen. Oh well.

I squirmed my way free of my blankets, wondering just how much help I'd gotten in order to end up as tangled in them as I was. It was a stroke of luck I'd woken when I had, or else my room probably would have shortly been swarming with evil moon minions.

I half-heartedly smoothed the blankets back down; depending on how long it took mommy to look at my room, I might be able to hold off actually making my bed until sometime that evening. Not likely, however, as she'd started assuming I hadn't done it, sometimes issuing her orders without checking to see if they were necessary. I'd have been offended by the assumption if it wasn't a rather safe one to make.

I walked over to my window with a yawn, stared up at a sky almost as dark as it had been the last time I'd been awake. The clouds from last night seemed to have multiplied, with no intention of going anywhere.

From the look of my sandbox - a look that reminded me of how I'd expected it to look for a few weeks after Jen told me that sometimes regular sand turned into quicksand overnight, up until I'd gotten nervous enough to ask daddy about it - the rain had already been hanging around a while.

A sigh escaped from my mouth as I stood there, perfectly still and silent otherwise. There wasn't any thunder or lightning, at least not so far, but the rain was coming down hard enough to squash any hopes I might have had about sneaking off to the barn without getting in trouble. Not to mention getting completely soaked, though I guess that would be part of the reason I'd be in trouble.

The roof of the barn would occasionally leak anyway, especially when it rained this hard, so I'd likely have gotten stuck hanging out on the ground floor. There wasn't anything wrong with that; it just wasn't anywhere near as fun as the loft, for some reason.

At least it'd be good for my tree, I told myself, tearing myself from the window and trudging through the house to the kitchen, where mommy and daddy were already up and dressed for work, and halfway done eating. Maybe it'd even be enough to make it start looking like a tree. But probably not.

Mommy told me once Nadine and I had planted the trees when we were really young, and supposedly Nadine remembered it, too, but I'm not so sure I believe that. She was a little older than me, though, so I guess she could have. I don't remember a lick of it, despite the pictures of me and Nadine, looking more like we were playing in the dirt than planting anything, which is probably true, seeing as how we were still actual babies then.

Those pictures were also the only way I could tell my tree had grown at all, since it still looked more like a twig with a few leaves than anything else, no matter what I tried to do to make it grow faster. Or to change it into a different kind of tree, although I don't know that I should have listened to Nadine about planting one of those mini-M&Ms next to it. Even if it did work, it would probably be annoying to have to pluck all of those little things off. Should have used a regular sized one.

"It's so little and scrawny," I'd complained to Jen once, standing beside it in a straw hat a few sizes too big that mommy had plunked onto my head right before I stepped out the door, a half-full watering can I'd made Jen carry most of the way there at my feet. "What kind of a tree is it supposed to be?"

Jen had thought for a minute, a weird kind of smile on her face. "Well, it's kind of like you," she teased, reaching down to tickle my tummy. I couldn't help but giggle, though I was far from amused by this answer. "Maybe it's a penny tree."

"I thought money didn't grow on trees," I said, bewildered, wondering why grown-ups couldn't get their stories straight. Must have something to do with being so old, and senile. And Jen's mind was already starting to slip away. Sad, really.

Jen shook her head, her smile replaced with a perfectly serious expression. "That's just paper money, sweetie."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her or not, but, just in case, I'd planted a penny next to the tree, too, a couple days later. The poor thing would either be very confused when it got older, or it would give me free candy -and- money.

If it ever got bigger. Which hardly seemed likely, as long as it had taken to get as "big" as it already was. Mine was at least doing better than Nadine's, anyway. Hers had died not long after it had been planted.

"What are you thinking about, honey?" mommy asked, kissing the top of my head as she walked past to set my plate down at my place at the table.

"Just my tree," I shrug, sliding down into my chair and pulling my legs up onto the seat to cross them under myself, like we'd had to sit during story time in kindergarten. Except not on the floor. Mommy looked at me for a minute, as if trying to put her finger on something that was out of place, but, luckily, she shrugged finally, and went back to the counter, seemingly without noticing I was wearing different pajamas than I'd went to sleep in.

I was halfway through my piece of toast, after having carefully drenched it in honey from our bear-shaped jar, when Jen slumped down into her chair, in the middle of a rather large yawn. At just the sight of her, I felt my cheeks growing warm, and I glanced away quickly, eyes falling on mommy crossing the kitchen with Jen's plate and cup of coffee.

"You okay, Penni?" she asked, looking confused again. I nodded, lifted my piece of toast up to my mouth again and began to chew on it slowly, although my stomach was beginning to churn, and was no longer in the mood for breakfast.

"Did you sleep well, princess?"

I nodded at daddy, made myself smile before my eyes darted over to Jen, sipping her coffee, waiting, dreading. Would she say anything?

"I had a weird dream," she spoke up, locking eyes with me for a split second before taking another sip. "But I don't remember what it was now."

"I'm done," I announced, setting my toast down on my plate and standing up.

"Penni..." Mommy's voice started like a warning, then softened a little. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm just not hungry," I assured her, setting my plate down beside the sink and hurriedly retreating. If Jen was going to tell mommy and daddy, I'd rather be elsewhere.

I had changed into a pair of green shorts and one of my formerly white, and now pink, T-shirts, by the time the knock came. I swallowed, taking a bit of solace in the fact that the knock hadn't sounded particularly loud, so maybe they weren't too mad. Or maybe they didn't want to scare the baby and make her wet her pants again.

"Goodbye, sweetie," mommy said, bending down to get a hug and a kiss, and return them.

"Bye, princess!" Daddy kissed the top of my head, then lifted me into his arms so I could give him a kiss on the cheek, and rest happily against his chest for a few seconds. "Have a fun day, all right?" I smiled and nodded, let myself be set back on my feet.

"If you feel sick, make sure to tell your sister," mommy warned. "And if it's still raining this afternoon, Jen is going to take the garbage out, not you."

"I'm not going to melt," I pouted, not entirely sure why. It wasn't like I -wanted- to drag all of the bags from our various trash cans around the house out to the big garbage can at the end of the driveway, especially in the rain. I guess I just didn't like being told what not to do, but mommy's expression froze any further complaints before they even thought about reaching my throat.

"And make your bed," she ordered, eyeing it distastefully.

They shut the door behind them, leaving me alone in my sadly boring room. We needed to go to the library again; I'd finished my last book a few days before, lying up in the barn's loft, almost making myself late for dinner because I just had to see the ending. But now I knew what it was, and what the endings were for all the other books in my room, and just couldn't bring myself to pick any of them back up that day.

There was another knock on my door, this time followed almost immediately by the sound of the knob turning, reminding me once again how unfair it was that I didn't have a lock. So what if I'd sort of locked myself out of my room once, or maybe twice? That'd been years ago... Yeesh.

"You gonna stay in here all day?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, hopping onto my bed. "Unless you want to drive me to the barn..."

Jen looked out the window. "I don't think so, babe."

"Fine." I let myself fall over backwards onto my bed. Eventually, I heard Jen's footsteps going down the hallway, through my still open door. I sat up a little to confirm that she had, indeed, left my door wide open, then dropped back down with a sigh. My privacy wasn't worth getting up, especially since there was nothing to do anyway.

Jen walked around for awhile, doing whatever it is Jens do on rainy days. There was silence for a few minutes, almost leading me to wonder if she'd gotten attacked by something that was then going to be intent only on finding and devouring me, but finally I heard the loud squeak the door to the basement made when it was closed, though the only real reason for that was to keep the sound the washer and drier made out of the kitchen. Water ran off and on as Jen did the dishes, apparently forgetting I was supposed to be there to dry them for her.

I forced myself to stand up, not wanting to give Jen anything else to tell mommy and daddy about to get me in trouble. So I went back to the kitchen and grabbed my towel, ignoring the smug look on her face as she handed me a dripping plate.

We worked in silence, her washing and me drying then setting them into the rack so she could put them away, since all of our cupboards were built way too high. While she took care of the last part, I retreated to the living room, curling up at one end of the couch and switching on the television.

Of course, there wasn't anything good on; there hardly ever was. After flipping through all the channels a few times, a feat which took only a minute or two, since there weren't many of them, I settled on a cooking show that would have been better if they hadn't been making some kind of fish. I've never liked fish - too many little bones.

The show was almost over by the time Jen finished opening and closing cabinets, then seemed to vanish into the basement for a few minutes before appearing in the living room. She sat down, right next to me, even though there was almost a whole couch to choose from, lifting my feet to make room for her to sit, setting them back down on top of her leg.

I drew them in closer to my body, glaring at her. "I'm not changing the channel," I told her, trying to act like I was only staying because I liked the show, and not her. Even if she had helped me out the night before, there was still no guarantee she wasn't hiding my pajamas to be used as evidence to help bring mommy and daddy around to her way of seeing me. And, besides, that hardly made up for her being the worst big sister ever, although I found it a bit harder to think of her as such now, remembering the look she'd gotten when I'd said it.

"Okay," Jen agreed easily, turning to look at the television just as my show was replaced by commercials, the first of which was advertising diapers. I rolled my eyes, like I did every time I saw baby stuff on TV, started to glance around the room for something more interesting. Jen, on the other hand, sat up a little straighter in her seat, entranced.

Memory is connections, finding some way to link what you're seeing, or doing, now, to what you've done in the past. You see something new, and your mind tries to connect it to something that's come before, to help you understand it better. Or your brain attaches something new to an experience you had earlier in your life, to give your experience new meaning. And memory is not always entirely reliable - generally, it's far from.

Or so I heard once, anyway, or something kinda like that. If it is true... Well, then Jen's process of thought probably went something like this, when the commercial came on:

"Oh, look, a baby, just like my sister, even if she won't admit it anymore. Isn't she cute, lying there, smiling up at her mommy, getting her diaper changed? Penni used to smile at me like that. She used to think I was the most awesome person ever. And now, I've let her see what I'm really like, and she no longer thinks that. Gee, I wonder how I could change that? She -did- just wet herself last night, after all, and she does owe me..."

Or something like that. Basically, while the commercial was talking about absorbency, and stretching, and other stuff, it might as well have been saying "Hey, you have a little sister you want to torture? We can help!"

She sat there, deep in thought, once the ad was over, stealing a glance at me now and then that I pretended not to notice, for a few minutes before standing back up and walking off towards the bedrooms. I didn't think much of it, even when I heard a bang that sounded strangely similar to the sound the ladder to the attic in daddy's closet made when it was lowered too quickly.

So Jen was in the attic, so what? It wasn't like there was much up there, other than a bunch of my old baby stuff, and who cared about that? I just shrugged, newly entranced by the show that came on after the other cooking lady finished up her stupid, nasty fish. These people were focusing on desserts, a truly worthy subject, and one that made my tummy begin to growl, angry at me for not finishing my toast.

Luckily, Jen reappeared not long after that, looking a bit dusty, but somewhat pleased with herself for reasons I didn't dare try to guess. "Can we have lunch?" I asked, my request punctuated by another rumbling from my stomach.

"Sure, it's just about that time," Jen said happily. "What do you want?"

"Can I have dessert first again?" I smiled up at her hopefully.

Jen shook her head, which was met with a pout. "You need to actually eat real food, sweetie, or we'll both get in trouble."

"Fine," I sulk, curling up into a tighter ball in my corner of the couch. What kind of an answer was that? Of course dessert is real food! How could you eat it if it wasn't?

At least she didn't make me eat at the table, even though I had to sit up, I guess so I wouldn't spill macaroni and cheese on the couch, since I could have sworn I heard somewhere you could swallow even if you were upside down, and lying down was hardly upside down.

I noticed her watching me again as I ate, a strange look in her eye I might have recognized if I'd seen her watching the commercial earlier. When she took my plate back to the kitchen, I heard the basement door squeak once as she went down to the basement, but she was apparently finished with the laundry, because it didn't squeak again. I sighed, preparing myself to begin folding clothes. Like they wouldn't get all wrinkled up once they were worn anyway.

As it turned out, there had been only three things being washed, and each of them was already folded and in a pile that was unceremoniously dropped onto my lap, still warm from the dryer. As I stared at my pajamas, all fresh and clean, I couldn't help but wonder - had I been too hasty in proclaiming Jen the worst big sister ever after all, and in assuming she was just out to get me in trouble with mommy and daddy?

Was she the same nice person who bought my a cute shirt with her own money, and stickers, and a milkshake, and probably a bunch of other stuff I couldn't even remember? She did do a lot of nice things for me, and she'd only spanked me that one time, even though she had the authority to do so whenever I misbehaved. Not that I did much, of course, but I can admit I wasn't always the most obedient person, especially if I really, really wanted (or didn't) to do something.

I wondered all of that stuff, almost considering apologizing for yelling at her back at the mall, and for not being so nice lately, all the way up until she sat down next to me, and opened her mouth, that weird look back in her eyes and an equally weird smile on her face, as she reached over to pat my leg.

"We need to talk, babe."

Elizabeth

Chapter Eight

I stared at Jen hard for a few minutes, barely even blinking, trying to figure out if she was joking. Surely, she had to be, though she was keeping her face serious, not even cracking a smile. "I... don't think so," I said finally, waiting for her to start laughing at her little joke.

She didn't. "Maybe I didn't put that right. Let me try again." She paused for a moment, pretending to be deep in thought. "I did a big favor for you last night, and I told you I expected something in return."

"This isn't just -something-," I complained. "I thought you meant you wanted me to do your chores for you one day or something."

Jen's mouth curved upwards as she prepared to close her trap. "Well, why don't we also consider this a thanks for not telling mom and dad about... Oh, say, certain things their youngest daughter has been up to this week."

I stared up at her, shocked but blushing. "You wouldn't!"

Jen shrugged. "I won't. -If- you agree."

I shoved her hand off of my leg, scrunching up tighter against the arm of the couch, tears stinging my eyes. "Why are you being so mean?"

Jen looked a little hurt, but she seemed to have been expecting this, as she had everything else. "I'm not being mean, Penni. Heck, -I'm- doing -you- a favor here, you know. Another one." I shot her an incredulous look. "If I told mom about last night, what do you think she would do?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, heart beginning to pound as I tried to come up with a way out. If I'd been smart, I would have seen that these were all empty threats, that she would never tell mommy and daddy about my accident last night, or running off on her at the mall, because to do so, she'd have to admit her own involvement. And then she'd have been in just as much trouble as me, maybe even more, since she was supposed to be the mature, responsible one.

But I wasn't smart. I could feel the teeth of the trap closing around me, and I was scared, sure there was no way out.

"A big girl like you, having an accident like that..." Jen shook her head. "She'd have you back in diapers, too, in no time. Only she'd make you wear them all the time, Penni."

I was quiet for a time as my stomach twisted inside me. It was probably true, I told myself. Hadn't I feared something like that the night before? When I spoke again, my voice was low, scared. "Do you really think so?"

Jen nodded solemnly. "I have no doubt about it. After all, how could she think you were a big girl anymore? You don't want her to think you're a baby, do you?" I shook my head, entranced by her words, just as she knew I would be. I saw a shadow of her smile return. Then she she slammed the trap shut on me. "But I know that you're a big girl. And that's why I trust you to keep your end of the deal. Well, that, and I doubt you're too keen on having to wear diapers -all- the time, not just when I want you to, and not just for this summer."

Not that there was much difference between the two. Not that it mattered. How was I going to say no to her now, when doing so would be proving to not only Jen, who already more than suspected it despite her words, but to mommy, who I hoped didn't, that I wasn't nearly as grown-up as I tried to be?

"But I'll give you a choice," Jen said, like she was doing me some huge favor. "Personally, I wouldn't mind telling mom, but if you want to stick to your promise..."

I hadn't made a promise. All I'd done was say 'Thank you', and not protest her claim that I owed her one. At least, I didn't remember making a promise, but what if those two things were some kind of a way of promising that grown-ups used? I felt confused, and a little scared, and, most of all, cornered.

"I'll do it," I sighed.

"Good girl!" Jen grinned, leaning over to hug me. I didn't push her away like I wanted to; I didn't hug her back, either.

Suddenly, another thought crossed my mind, almost too horrible to give voice to, although I had to. My eyes were wide with shock as I tried to bring myself to say it, my throat seeming to have closed off until I swallowed, rallying my nerves.

"I don't have to use them, do I?" I asked as she pulled away finally, wrinkling my nose at the very idea. Of course, if I had paid closer attention to what Jen had been doing before she came up with her oh-so-wonderful plan, or at least not ignored the diaper commercial as I did every commercial that didn't involve particularly yummy looking food or cool toys, I would have known that there was no way I could get out of that.

"Diapers are expensive, sweetie," Jen answered calmly, as if she had already planned all this out in her head, too. "And while I'm sure you'll look precious just wearing them, it would be sort of... frivolous for you not to use them, too."

I narrowed my eyes at her, starting to feel more suspicious, wondering if she -had- been plotting this after all. Maybe it had been an idea that had been sitting at the back of her mind for a while now, waiting for the perfect opportunity to spring out and ambush me.

I wanted to ask what frivolous meant, but decided against it. I didn't want to look stupid, not now, and, besides, it wasn't like it mattered. She already had her mind made up; she wasn't going to change it for me. "I can at least change myself, though, right?" I looked up at her, eyes full of misguided hope.

Jen shook her head slowly, sending my stomach plummeting downwards. "Have you ever even seen a baby getting diapered?" I started to open my mouth, optimism flaring up again like a phoenix rising. "That you can remember," she added quickly. The phoenix sank back into the ashes.

"You can teach me..." I suggested, my lips beginning to form into a pout.

"It'll just be easier for me to do it, babe," Jen told me, reaching down to mess up my hair.

There wasn't anything else to say, I realized, so I stayed quiet, hardly able to even comprehend what I had gotten myself into. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad, part of my brain reasoned. Maybe she'll only want you to wear them every once in a while.

Yeah, right. And maybe the moon -wasn't- an evil jerk who hated my guts, and was possibly trying to kill me. At least -he- wasn't mean enough to come up with this.

"Maybe you should go take a nap, sweetie. You look tired." Jen's voice was gentle, yet I could hear a hint of her pride at a job well done shining through.

"I don't need a nap," I informed her with a glare. "I'm not..." But the rest of my usual protest broke off, lost somewhere on its way to my mouth. It sounded silly now, although not as much as it would once I was actually in the diapers I'd agreed to wear, and not just thinking about, dreading them.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Jen was obviously amused, although she worked hard not to laugh. "Big girls take naps sometimes, too, though, and I think you need one."

"I'm not tired," I lied. I didn't expect it to do any good, almost regretted saying it. At least if I was in my room, I wouldn't have to be around Jen, and that was something I wouldn't mind right then. "Do I have to wear a diaper if I do?"

Jen was confused for a second, then shook her head, let herself laugh out loud. "We have to go buy them first, babe. We can go do that tomorrow, okay?" If I thought I could get away with saying no, I would have; instead, I shrugged, got to my feet, clutching my pajamas to my chest. They weren't quite as warm anymore, but they still felt kind of nice, comforting in a way.

"Sweet dreams," Jen grinned. I almost stuck my tongue out at her as I walked away, somehow resisted the temptation. I could almost hear her evil laughter, like any good villain had, echoing through her words, mocking me as I retreated to my bedroom. I half expected to hear it for real, as she celebrated her victory.

I guess she celebrated quietly, since all I heard was the attic door opening again, and a pair of feet climbing up the ladder, although that was a few minutes later, so she had plenty of time for her silent little bout of jubilation.

I paused at my dresser, staring up at the ceiling, almost wishing I could see through it, so I could figure out what Jen was up to. I probably didn't want to know.

I sighed and walked over to my bed, collapsing on top of it, dresser drawer still open. I hugged my pajamas closer to me as I curled up into a ball, trying to forget about this deal I'd made, and what the next day would bring. I tried not to think about anything, to just lay there and be.

I hadn't planned on falling asleep like that, but the next thing I knew, I was blinking my eyes open. I sat up, glanced around my room, brain full of fog. I blushed, quickly wiping my face, at the feeling of drool at the corner of my mouth.

I wanted to lay back down and sleep some more, surprised at just how good Jen's suggestion of a nap had been, but the sharp pain in my tummy stopped me. I could hear people wandering around, more than just Jen, and I could smell something cooking. I took my pajamas over to my dresser and dropped them into the open drawer, which I closed quickly to kill off the renewed embarrassment that came from the little wet spot I saw on them.

"Afternoon, sleepy head," mommy greeted me as I trudged into the kitchen. She gave me a kiss on the top of my head when I stepped up beside her, getting up on my tiptoes to try to see what was in the pots bubbling away on the top of the stove. "You feeling better?"

"Not really," I shrugged. "I'm hungry."

"The soup will be done in a minute, all right?" I nodded, walked slowly over to the table and sank down into my chair, noticing, with a little surprise, that it had already been set. Had mommy done that for me?

As I sat there, staring at my reflection in my spoon, I barely noticed daddy and Jen joining me at the table, until I saw mommy lowering the pot of soup onto the potholder she'd put at the middle of the table. I looked up then, confused for a brief moment, wondering if I'd fallen asleep again.

I saw Jen when I looked up, sitting across from me, smiling at me as mommy picked up my bowl and filled it with what turned out to be potato soup. My hunger seemed to vanish as I saw her, all my worries from earlier in the day rushing back to take up the space my food should have gone. I nearly wished I could go back to feeling nervous about whether or not Jen was going to tell on me. Instead, I shoved my bowl away.

"What's wrong, Penni?" mommy asked, up from the chair she'd just sat down in and at my side in a flash.

"I'm not hungry." I tried to get up, but mommy's hand on my shoulder kept me still.

"You just said you were, honey." Her voice was worried, perhaps even a little scared, and she moved her hand to my forehead, pushing aside my hair, which was still all wild from my nap.

"I'm fine," I protested, shaking my head to make her move her hand, worried that if she left it there too long, she might find out the truth, why I was so anxious. She had a way of finding that sort of thing out whether I wanted her to or not.

"I think you ought to at least try to eat some, then."

I sighed, nodded, even felt a little better after a kiss on the forehead. Not quite enough to get me to bring my spoon up to my mouth, but I at least picked it up, started to run it back and forth through my soup.

Mommy watched me quietly for a while before picking up her own spoon. "I notice the trash can in the kitchen is still full," she said, the end of her sentence punctuated by a soft blow into her spoon.

I haven't seen Jen blush many times. It's kind of a fun thing to see, after all the times she's made me embarrassed.

"Oh," she coughed, trying to come up with a good excuse. "I... forgot."

I couldn't help but giggle. Jen shot my a dirty look, and I quickly looked down at my soup, knowing full well I shouldn't provoke her, not with the next day still approaching faster than I could have imagined. Even so, I found myself starting to giggle again, until finally I began to eat, if only to keep myself quiet, although, I realized, my tummy didn't feel nearly as bad anymore.

I felt pretty good for the rest of the evening, the nervous feeling I got when I looked at Jen getting a bit weaker as the night wore on, and I worked on a coloring while everyone else watched some boring show on television. Not even Jen's teasing about how slow I was at finishing the picture - I was still only half done when mommy said it was time for bed - brought back the full weight of my fears from before.

That didn't happen until Jen came into my room, once I had gotten all tucked in and kissed goodnight by mommy and daddy. At first, I thought she was just there to say goodnight, too, not noticing how careful she was being to keep one hand behind her back, until she slowly, carefully, closed my bedroom door.

"I have a little surprise for you," she grinned, pulling back my covers. I was too scared to ask what, or even to try to catch a glimpse as she picked me up and made me stand up next to my bed before kneeling in front of me. "I found these in the attic... I hope they still fit." I looked down then, giving a little gasp at the Pull-Up she had just set down on the floor next to my feet before reaching up to the waistband of my pajama shorts, pulling them and my panties down at the same time. "Lift your feet, sweetie."

I obeyed her, not sure what other choice I had, tears stinging at the corners of my eyes. "Jeeen," I complained, making my voice sound as little and weak as I could, sniffling loudly.

Jen looked up, her expression transforming from something like glee to sympathy as she saw my face. "Don't cry, sweetie." She set the Pull-Ups down, enveloped me in a hug.

"I don't wanna..." I started, only to be shhh'd by Jen, whose hands were now slowly stroking my hair.

"How about we wait until tomorrow, then?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Do we have to?" I asked, sniffling again, this time on purpose, hoping it would get her to change her mind, since the first had worked pretty well.

"You -did- promise," she reminded me. I nodded sadly, deciding it would be better to let it go at that. It wasn't much of a victory, but it was something.

Yet, when her hands moved from their places around me, they went to the Pull-Up, instead of my pajamas. "Hey!" I protested, feeling betrayed.

"Just to see if it fits," she assured me, staring into my eyes until I reluctantly nodded. I obediently lifted my feet and let her slide the stupid thing up my legs and over my bottom, defying my quick prayer that it break halfway there. It felt a little tight, not to mention weird and thick and babyish, but Jen seemed satisfied as she pulled it back down and helped me into my pajamas again.

"Goodnight, Penni," she said as she stood, giving me a soft pat on the bottom before I slipped back into bed. Luckily, I fell asleep almost immediately, before I could start to worry about what the next day was inevitably bringing.

Chapter Nine

I sat nervously on my bed, listening to the sound of mommy and daddy's cars driving off. It didn't feel like they should be leaving yet - breakfast had zoomed by in no time, ending with Jen whispering to me not to get changed out of my pajamas yet. So I didn't, though I made sure to stop at the bathroom before going to my room to stare out the window at the glistening world outside.

The rain had stopped sometime during the night, I suppose, but everything was still wet, and the morning sun gave it all a wonderful, fresh kind of look. It felt like a new start, almost, another chance, though for what, or who, I didn't know for sure, could only hope it was meant for me. The sun, while he liked to test me, also encouraged me from time to time, when things seemed the most grim.

The view wasn't a rainbow, but it was something, and it kept me from feeling too anxious about what was to come. After all, it might be a sign after all, and if I thought it was mine, who was to say it wasn't? Jen could have had a change of heart before she went to bed the night before - she certainly had enough time after she'd said goodnight to me, as unfair as that was - or there could have been a dream. Dreams were like that sometimes; they could show you the truth, if you were willing to pay attention.

Apparently, Jen wasn't.

She didn't even knock before opening my door, tossing a Pull-Up onto the bed beside me. "You ready to go shopping?" she asked cheerfully, sitting down next to me with a bounce.

"No," I pouted.

She didn't seem to notice. "Why don't you pick out something to wear?"

I thought about repeating myself, until I realized she would likely take that as an invitation to pick for me. "I guess," I sighed dramatically, sliding slowly off the edge of my bed and trudging over to my closet. I took as long as I dared, trying to extend the amount of time before I had to wear the icky, stupid thing sitting on my bed, mocking me, bearing a picture of Minnie Mouse frolicking and looking almost as happy as Jen.

I didn't get the chance to wear the clothes in my closet too often in the summer. It was mostly full of dresses, and mommy didn't like me playing in the barn in most of them, other than a couple fairly old ones, because it got them all dusty and kind of dirty, depending on what I did that particular day. I wore them to church, of course, and every once in a while to town, if I remembered we were going before I got out of my pajamas.

As I looked through them, however, I began to notice something I'd never quite realize, or at least care about. Almost all of them, except for a couple really nice ones, were fairly short. That never bothered me before, since I'd never thought much about it, but now that I knew there would be a Pull-Up, and soon, unless I was a lot luckier than the last few days would lead me to think, a diaper, underneath, I couldn't help starting to feel somewhat self-conscious about it.

Even so, I took my time glancing over each dress, almost choosing my favorite purple denim jumper anyway, because I liked it so much, and, hey, it was kind of not-too-short, maybe. In the end, though, the butterflies in my tummy made me put it back, and look in my dresser instead. Jen's expression had gotten a bit less joyful; there might have been a touch of annoyance, even.

"The longer you take, the more likely mom is to get home before us," she told me as I struggled, maybe a bit more than necessary, to open one of the drawers.

My eyes widened as I spun around, finding a smirk making its way across Jen's face as I asked, "We're going to be gone that long?!"

"We will if you take all morning picking out an outfit."

I stared at her a minute. I couldn't tell if she was joking or not, and, in cases like that, it was better to assume she wasn't. "Fine," I glowered, reaching into the drawer and pulling out my second favorite pair of jeans and throwing them onto my bed. I guess they were technically my favorites, since mommy had cut the legs off my very favorite ones; I still thought of them as second favorite anyway. They were lighter blue than my other pairs, although I remember them being a bit darker when I first got them. They were a bit old, but still comfy, with a couple permanent grass stains on the knees - mommy didn't like me wearing them to town anymore because of those - and a lady bug sewn onto the pocket.

I opened the next drawer up and searched through it, wanting my shirt that said Angel. I couldn't find it, since, as I eventually remembered, it was waiting to be washed. I did find the shirt Jen bought me at the mall the other day, almost picked it up. I hadn't worn it yet, and I wanted to. It was cute, even if the person who gave it to me was mean and awful.

I picked up a T-shirt, a hand-me-down from Jen that was still pretty big on me, hanging down almost to my knees, a kitten sleeping beside a ball on tangled yarn on the front. I don't know why I chose it instead, but there was a feeling of satisfaction as I set it down next to my jeans on the bed and looked up at Jen expectantly.

If she cared, or even noticed me considering, and then ignoring, her present to me, the only indication was a brief glimpse of something across her eyes, quickly replaced with her strange glee. "Let's get little Penni dressed for her big day, then, huh?" she grinned, picking up the Pull-Up.

I swallowed softly, preparing myself as Jen reached out towards me. I'd been dreading this all morning, ever since I'd woken up, memories of the night before flooding my mind straight away, reminding me of the real world, instead of forcing me to spend a minute or two separating it from my dreams like I usually had to.

I sniffled softly, making my eyes all big as I tilted my head up towards Jen. I couldn't recall exactly how my voice had sounded the night before, so I just did my best to sound all quiet and sad as I pleaded, "Jeeeen..."

Jen reached over, messed up my hair. Not at all the reaction I was trying for, so I blinked at her a couple times, wishing I could make myself cry whenever I wanted to, like one of the girls in my class claimed she could. "Do I hafta?" I asked, my voice louder, and a little madder, than I'd planned.

"'fraid so." She didn't sound like she was.

I looked away from her, down at my feet, sniffled again. "I don't wanna, Jen," I told her, in case she hadn't gotten the idea yet.

"You promised, Penni," she reminded me, like I could forget. Like I'd had a choice. "It won't be that bad, sweetie."

Her hand went to my shorts again, and I pulled away, stomping my foot in frustration. "I'm not a baby!" I yelled at her. I felt tears running down my cheeks - looks like I didn't need to learn to fake them after all.

"Oh, honey," Jen cooed softly, pulling me into her lap before I could escape her arms again. She hugged me, pulling me close against her. In the midst of my tears, I couldn't help but wonder if my plan had worked after all, even if it'd taken its own sweet time. "It's okay, bab... I mean, sweetie..." Jen spoke softly into my hair.

Quiet. I cuddled up closer to Jen's chest, starting to like this feeling, convinced of my victory.

Jen lifted her head from the top of my head, smoothed the hair there back down with her hand. "Penni, I told you before, I know you're not a baby." I wanted to ask her why she'd been trying to get me into a diaper, then, didn't trust myself not to sound too angry and accusing. Luckily, she went on without my prompting. "It's just... Well, I wouldn't mind if you could be, sometimes. You're such a big girl now, and I don't really get to take care of you anymore, and I miss it."

I looked up at her suspiciously, unsure if I should believe her. I nearly could have, if it hadn't been for her claim that she recognized I wasn't really a baby. I was still staring at her when she began to pull my pajama bottoms off, almost without me noticing until she let them fall to the floor.

"And you don't have to wear them all the time, remember?" I nodded, pouting as I felt the Pull-Up moving up my legs. "Besides, you promised. You don't want to go back on a promise, do you?"

"I guess not," I sighed. Jen smiled and set me down, pulling the training pants the rest of the way up, her grin widening at the result.

"Now, that's better." She patted my bottom, like she had last night, except this time her hand was met with a softer, more cushioned sound, and I barely felt a thing. The Pull-Ups looked a lot different from the ones in the commercials on television - I guess they'd decided to make them better after I got out of them. At least those ones looked a tiny bit more like underwear than diapers, even if that was what they were.

I squirmed some, wiggled my bottom a little, wrinkled my nose. Jen did her best not to laugh at me, but it was apparently too difficult, and I shot her a dirty look and crossed my arms.

"Sorry, sweetie," she said, trying to sound calm and soothing, an effect that would have worked better without the giggle at the end, followed quickly by a cough. "We'd better get you dressed. Lift your arms."

I continued to glare at her instead, so she moved my arms for me, prying them away from my chest so she could unbutton my pajama top and slip it off, and replace it with my chosen T-shirt. It fell down low enough to cover my Pull-Up, which might have been enough to brighten my mood some if I couldn't still feel it there, taunting me.

"That looks cute," she nodded approvingly, tugging at the bottom of the shirt. "Maybe we don't need those jeans after all."

"Yes, we do!" I said quickly, picking them up myself before she could try to take them away. Sure, I had dresses that were shorter than the shirt, but that wasn't the point. I wasn't wearing them.

Jen hesitated. I could tell she wanted to yank the jeans away, snatch me up, and throw me in the car. To her credit, she was much gentler than I'd expected as she took them out of my hands and put me back on her lap so she could put them on me. "Are you sure you want these?" she asked when she was done. "They look a little tight with the Pull-Up under them."

They did feel a bit tighter than usual. Not enough to convince me to take them off. "They're fine."

Unexpectedly, Jen let me put my own socks and shoes on, saying she had to go get ready herself. I guess she figured I wouldn't want to go to jail, or whatever they did to people who didn't follow their "No shoes" rule. She didn't trust me enough to let me do it with my door closed. I hadn't even thought of changing back into my panties until Jen said she didn't want me doing that when I asked why I should leave the door open. It would have been a good idea, though.

Walking to Jen's room felt weird somehow, in some way I couldn't quite put my finger on, although it was obviously because of what I had on under my jeans. I found myself taking smaller steps, which helped a little.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing over to the bag sitting on Jen's bed. She turned around from the mirror at her desk, where she was putting on the makeup I wasn't allowed to touch anymore, after accidentally spilling a bunch of it onto her carpet once while trying to climb up onto her desk to get a better look at myself.

"That's your diaper bag, sweetie," she answered. "It's cute, huh?"

"Yeah," I agreed reluctantly. I didn't want to admit anything associated with this whole thing was "cute", but couldn't help it in this case. It was pink, covered with teddy bears doing various things, like eating a piece of birthday cake with one candle, and flying away with a balloon tied to one paw. "Where'd you get it?"

"Don't you remember it?" Jen sounded surprised. "It was yours. And still is, actually."

"Oh." I felt a little stupid as I looked the bag over again. It might have seemed kind of familiar, I guess. "It's big," I commented.

"Has to be, to carry all the stuff a baby needs." She glanced over at it. "I remember one time I asked mom why we didn't just carry you in there, too."

"I wouldn't fit in there!" I protested, offended at the thought. I wasn't -that- little!

"You used to be able to." She sounded like she knew for sure, possibly from experience. Maybe it's a good thing I don't remember being a baby...

"What's in it?"

"Why don't you look?" I shook my head, a little afraid of the bag now for some reason, not wanting to know what I might find there badly enough to open it. What else of mine from when I was a baby had Jen found? "It's pretty much just a couple extra Pull-Ups, in case you have an accident before we're done shopping."

"I'm not going to have an accident," I insisted, offended again. "I am -not-..."

"A baby," Jen finished for me. "I know. It's just in case, hon, calm down."

"I am calm," I pouted, crossing my arms.

"Then let's go!" Jen grabbed the diaper bag and my hand, taking us both out to her car. Nadine was standing on her porch, watching us, and I waved meekly to her as Jen put the bag into the back seat.

"You want to listen to the radio?" She turned it on before she finished the question, so I shrugged, having decided not to speak to her again unless I had to. I'd actually decided that earlier on, while I was tying my left shoe the first time - unfortunately onto my right foot, as I managed to do almost every other time I put on my shoes - but forgotten about it when I saw the mysterious bag.

Not again, I told myself with a stern, very authoritative feeling, nod. I looked out the window instead, watching the farms and trees and mailboxes zoom past, until we got onto the highway, and there wasn't anything interesting to see.

I sat up in my seat, squirming around to try to find another comfortable way to sit. I should have just stayed where I was, I decided with a pout at last, unable to escape the unusual thickness around my waist.

As I was fidgeting, my eyes happened to spot something at the side of the road, something I didn't recognize until we were right next to it. I gave out a gasp as we passed the snake, all curled up and probably hissing, and immediately pulled my feet up from where they'd been swinging back and forth boredly, pressed myself as hard against the back of the seat.

Snakes were crafty little monsters, and, if it had decided to grab onto the bottom of our car when we went past, I didn't want it attacking -my- feet once it found its way inside. They were probably the most evil of the moon's minions, so evil he hadn't even let the come to the ball the other night. Or, if he had, I hadn't seen them. They might have been hiding, I suppose, although I didn't want to meet the thing that even snakes wanted to hide from.

Jen looked over at me with a weird little smile on her face, looking all smug and satisfied. I wasn't sure why, but I decided to stick my tongue out at her before sulking down further into my seat, curling my feet safely under my padded bottom.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted the drive, which turned out to end at Wal-Mart, to take longer or shorter. The longer it took, the more time I had before I would be in real diapers, but, riding in silence was beginning to grate at my nerves, and my resolve to keep my vow of silence. As it turned out, it took just as long as it always did, so I guess it worked out in the end.

After pulling into our parking space, Jen switched off the engine of the car and unbuckled her seatbelt. Instead of getting out of the car, she reached over to me, pushed my shirt up.

"What..?" I started to ask, before putting a hand over my mouth for a second.

Jen's eyebrow raised, but she didn't ask, just unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them open enough to see my Pull-Up underneath. Still dry, as I could have very well told her, although she seemed surprised at its condition.

"I told you I wasn't going to have an accident," I told her, trying to sound offended and all 'told you so' at the same time.

"Yes, you did," Jen said, her voice all patronizing, like she was talking to a baby, making me wish I'd stuck to my plan, resisted the urge to show her I'd been smarter than her, and given her the opportunity to reply to me. "Well... Let's go get Penni some diapers!"

"Yay..." I mumbled unhappily as I unbuckled my seatbelt and let myself out of the car, before Jen decided she needed to do it for me.

The sun shone on above me, lighting up the water still hanging on to the shopping carts inside their little pen. A sign of hope, or a fresh start. For someone other than me.

Sometimes, the sun could be just as much of a jerk as the moon.

Elizabeth

Chapter Ten

The rain the day before had cooled the air off some, enough that I didn't mind walking through the parking lot too much, wouldn't even have considered asking to ride in a cart even if I didn't feel like enough of a baby already. They were probably all wet anyway, and getting out of the cart with a wet spot on the back of my pants - well, actually my shirt, unless it was wet enough to soak all the way through there -into- my jeans - would make for a less than fun walk back to the car.

At least for me. I'm sure Jen would have just loved it, the evil, mean monstrosity that she was.

"Penni!" the horror beside me said loudly, waving her hand in front of my eyes, which were still staring off at where the carts stood, crowded up against one another. It must have been very uncomfortable being a shopping cart, I had decided a few years before, when I had resolved not to be one anytime soon.

"What?" I asked, glaring up at her, trying to sound like I was angry at having my thoughts interrupted, although the jump that preceded it might have given me away. If I had been younger and less smart, I might have worried she could hear my heart beating rapidly in my chest, and therefore known how badly she'd startled me, but the last time I saw him, other than in my dream, Dr. Irvine had told me you could only hear peoples' hearts with the cold metal thing with an unnecessarily weird name he wore around his neck.

I obviously didn't do a good enough job, because Jen smiled at me, barely able to keep her giggles contained. "Didn't mean to scare you, babe," she claimed.

"Yeah, right," I mumbled, thoroughly unconvinced.

"Maybe I checked your Pull-Up too soon," she suggested, starting to reach for the hem of my shirt.

I stepped away from her quickly, running into the side of her car. "I told you, I'm not gonna have an accident!" My face flushed a deep red as I realized I may have said that a bit louder than I'd meant to while standing in the middle of the parking lot.

"Calm down, Penni," Jen said softly, her hand drifting up to rub my shoulder, before moving slowly down my arm. "I was just joking. I wouldn't check you out here, I promise." I stared up, doubtful, until I decided she was likely telling the truth. She wouldn't check me here, because there weren't enough people around.

"-Do- you need..." she started, only to break off as my eyes narrowed at her. "All right, all right, just making sure," she soothed, before I could yell something else to embarrass myself. I might not have been as offended by the implication that I -might- wet myself, like she obviously wanted me to, if my bladder wasn't starting to feel full again, filled up with apple juice from breakfast I should have known better than to drink.

"Let's go inside, okay?" Her hand had reached mine finally, started to pry my fingers apart to slip its way inside.

"Fine," I sighed, since it was probably better to go along willingly than have her pull my arm off when she went anyway.

Jen smiled down at me, an expression I countered with a pout I continued to wear as we crossed the parking lot, a little slower than we had last time, hand in hand, Jen with my diaper bag slung across her shoulder. It wasn't precisely early anymore, but there still weren't too many cars around to worry about yet.

The man at the door gave me a smiley face sticker, and I stuck it in my ladybug pocket, to put with the rest of my stickers when I got home. He wasn't the same man who was usually at the door - he looked older, but he still had some hair, even if it was white, and his glasses looked a little thicker.

"Thanks," I said, after getting a nudge from Jen.

"She's a little cranky today," Jen explained to the man, who nodded, like he knew what she was talking about. He couldn't have, of course, since she didn't even. I wasn't cranky, I was angry, and there was a big difference.

"I'm sure she'd be a lot cuter with a smile on her face," the old man said, kneeling down in front of me. "Wouldn't you?"

I tugged on Jen's arm, trying to make her move. It wasn't fair that it was so easy for her to do that to me, but half the time when I did it, she didn't seem to even notice. "Let's go," I finally spoke up, since it seemed to be one of the latter times.

"Penni!" Jen shook her head. "Sorry," she shrugged at the man. "You know how kids can be."

"That I do," he smiled.

"Penni, why are you being so rude?" Jen hissed down at me as we walked through the second set of doors, and she picked up a basket. "He was being nice to you."

"I already have a bunch of those stickers," I informed her.

Jen rolled her eyes. "Penni, that's not the point. You're acting like you're two years old."

"Isn't that what you want?" I asked defiantly.

Jen sighed, didn't answer me. I actually found myself smiling at my victory until I realized that it did nothing to get me out of my predicament.

As we passed through the store, I couldn't help but be reminded of the little girl I'd seen at the mall the other day, walking hand in hand with her mommy, diaper peeking out from the bottom of her dress. More specifically, I couldn't help but think that Jen had turned me into that, although I was grateful for my pants, and the fact that I wasn't exactly in diapers, even if that wouldn't be the case for long.

Had the little girl known, somehow, what I was going to become? That soon, I was going to basically become her equal? Was that why she had been looking at me? I'd heard of people who could see the future, but most of them, or the ones who made it on TV anyway, were a lot older than she was. Even they had to start out somewhere, though.

I couldn't remember exactly, but now that I was thinking about it, I could have sworn I heard her laughing as she walked away, obviously pleased with my fate. The moon must have been getting desperate, I decided, to start selecting opponents so young for me. I should have felt glad I had him so worried, but instead, I felt a little insulted, mostly embarrassed she had done such a good job of getting to me.

Embarrassment was starting to be a constant feeling in my life, every new humiliation reminding me of all the others I'd suffered through and thought "How could it be worse?" only to find myself in the middle of something that was. I shouldn't have been surprised by it any more, since I knew well enough Jen's plans, yet each new thing brought a blush to my cheeks all the same.

Which is exactly what happened when I looked up from the floor - the best place to keep my eyes to avoid noticing all the people who were likely staring at me as I'd stared at the moon-corrupted baby, somehow able to see through my clothes to the Pull-Up underneath, even if I couldn't see any signs of it myself through my jeans and T-shirt - and found myself standing at the head of the baby aisle.

Fear gripped my tummy as color flooded my cheeks, and I tried again to tug at Jen's arm, this time with the intention of getting free, running away into the store. Wal-Mart is a big place, and I bet I could hide in there forever if I wanted to, getting food from the McDonald's in the back when I was hungry, and playing with all their toys the rest of the time. It could be a fun life, and if mommy and daddy wanted to see me, they could always come visit. But not Jen, because she wouldn't be invited.

Jen, of course, didn't seem to notice, just continued down the aisle, her pace slower than before as she looked around at all the stuff on the shelves. My pace was even slower than hers, as I struggled to keep my feet firmly planted on the outside of the aisle, as if stepping in would immediately set off some sort of alarm that would tell everyone in the store what we were there for. As far as I know, that didn't happen, but the fact that I was dragged into the aisle rather than stepping into it might have had something to do with it.

Seeing that I couldn't get away, or resist, I began to follow Jen willingly, stomping beside her as loud as I could manage, glad I hadn't worn my sandals today. They weren't nearly as loud as my tennis shoes, which I'd never played tennis in.

"You know, that's probably just drawing more attention to you," Jen said after a minute of looking at various bottles of stuff, some of which she put into her basket.

"Is not." I stopped anyway, in case she was right, although I didn't see anybody else around. I was a little curious about what she had put into the basket, and a little afraid at the same time. I could see the packages of diapers on the shelves right in front of us, stretching on for what seemed like miles.

And then, mercifully, we stopped short. For a moment, I thought Jen had a change of heart, that she was going to put back all that stuff she'd picked up, and we could go home and pretend none of this had ever happened. Instead, she picked up a pacifier from the shelf above my head. "You know, maybe I ought to get you one of these, if you're going to be all pouty and whiny all day," she teased.

I stuck out my tongue at her, but I was glad to see her set the pacifier back down, perhaps a little reluctantly, before perking up almost immediately as we moved forward into the hoard of diapers. They seemed to press in from all sides, pictures of babies smiling at me from every package, laughing at me. I pressed close to Jen's side, forgetting for a second she was the reason we were here.

She appeared to know exactly what she was looking for, led us straight to it. "Look, sweetie, these have Blue on them!" she exclaimed, bouncing my arm up and down.

If she expected me to get excited over a diaper, she was sorely mistaken. "So what?" I asked sullenly, even though I did like Blue's Clues. Still, it wasn't Blue on TV, it was Blue on a diaper, and that was completely different. I didn't want to seem happy about any aspect of this.

"Let's see... Those Pull-Ups were the middle size, and they looked a bit small on you," Jen mused, once again ignoring my attempt to break free. Somehow, having her speaking about diapers out loud made it all seem worse, even if it was a perfectly normal thing to speak about in this aisle. "So, if we get the biggest size diapers, they should work perfectly, right?"

She was picking up the back even before I listlessly shrugged at the question. "The little girl on this package looks kinda like you," Jen commented. "Except not as cute."

I forced myself to glance at the diapers. I didn't like seeing any of the packages here, but that one was the worst, knowing that they were going to be mine. Actually looking at them made it seem all the worse, even before I noticed that Jen was actually right.

"She looks happy," Jen continued.

She did, which was kind of weird, since she didn't look as much like a baby as the kids on the rest of the packages. She didn't even have her diaper showing, like the rest did.

"Why don't you look happy, too?"

My eyes flashed upward towards her face, not caring that she was using her teasing voice again, not caring that I was in the middle of the store. "Because I'm not a baby!" I shouted at her, yanking my hand free at last and reaching into her basket to pick up a bottle. I noticed it had Baby Powder written on the side before I threw it as hard as I could back down the aisle. It didn't go nearly as far as I wanted it to, and I stomped my foot in frustration, my face red with something that, for once, had nothing to do with embarrassment.

I reached into the basket for a second bottle, this one clear and saying Baby Oil, only to be stopped by Jen's hand clamping back over mine. "Do you really want to throw a tantrum here?" she asked sharply.

I did. I wanted to sit down in the middle of all these diapers and kick and scream until Jen realized how unfair all this was, until she gave in and put back all this stupid baby stuff, and forgot all about that promise.

I didn't. As I stood there, fuming, I could feel the will to actually do any of those things draining away. Jen wouldn't care if I spent the rest of the day yelling at her; I could tell she wasn't backing down, had known it all morning but couldn't admit it. It wasn't worth it.

I felt tired, worn out. My tummy was starting to feel ready for lunch. I had to pee.

"No," I said quietly.

"Good," Jen picked me up in her free arm, kissed my forehead before I rested it on her shoulder with a sniffle. I felt her moving me around a little, pressing me against her side with her hand on my bottom. I barely noticed we had started moving until I heard Jen's voice again. "Can you grab me some of those baby wipes, sweetie?"

I lifted my head, and, not feeling up to protesting, reached over to the shelf beside me, like a good, obedient little girl, and gave Jen another tool for her to use in my ultimate humiliation. Strangely, I found myself almost smiling when she said, "Good girl." We turned around, and Jen set me down so she could bend over to pick up the baby powder I'd thrown.

She held out her hand, but instead of taking it, I held up both of mine. Jen smiled and picked me up again. As I wrapped my arms around her, and rested my head against her, I almost felt... if not quite happy, then content. I was probably just tired, I decided, and asked to be put back down when we reached the end of the baby aisle.

"You are one weird little girl, you know that?" Jen asked as she took my hand and we started for the front of the store.

"Not as weird as you," I reminded her. After all this had been her idea, not mine.

As we approached the checkout lanes, I saw that the store seemed to have gotten much busier than when we'd entered. There were people in every lane, and, though they all acted like they were in a hurry, none of them were going anywhere very quickly.

The line Jen chose for us was the worst one, of course, and, from the back, looked to be the longest. I almost wondered if we had somehow ended up in a movie, and this was one of those scenes where everything went way too slowly. Except here, it was everything except me, who would have started to feel very bored by being the only person moving at regular speed if my bladder didn't feel so full.

I bit my bottom lip, tried to keep from bouncing up and down too obviously, hoping Jen wouldn't notice, but, from the seemingly permanent grin on her face after looking down at me, I don't think I succeeded. The doors to the bathroom were right in front of our lane; if I could just wait long enough, and the rest of the line didn't take forever to buy their stuff, it was just a few steps away.

Sure, Jen had said I had to use my diapers. But I wasn't wearing a diaper. I was wearing a Pull-Up. She never said I had to use those. It was only fair, then, that I be allowed to use the bathroom.

I tilted my head up towards Jen. "Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked, pointing over to the door. "It's right over there..."

"Sweetie, we talked about this, remember?"

I'd been expecting that, and I immediately began to explain to her what I'd just realized, excitement at having outsmarted her again amplifying my voice. "Nuh-uh! You only said I..."

I quieted down as the woman in front of us turned around, at first looking annoyed before smiling at me. I blushed and pressed closer to Jen, imagining the entire store staring at me for that outburst. "I'll wait," I said quietly.

And wait I did, for what seemed like eternity until finally, finally, it was our turn.

"Hey, cutie-pie," the cashier bubbled at me as she scanned my diapers. I hadn't realized it until then, but it was the same cashier we almost always went to - she was probably a little older than Jen, I guess, and, I decided, prettier, too. And she seemed a lot nicer, because she was always in a good mood. She also always called me cutie-pie, which I didn't mind too much usually. But this time, to hear her say it while holding those...

"She's a little shy today," Jen laughed as I tried to hide behind her when she let go of my hand to open a pocket on the diaper bag and fish out some money.

The cashier waved at me as we left - she always did that, too - but instead of waving back, I grabbed Jen's hand, almost before she had picked up our bags, and did my best to rush her towards the bathroom while there was still a little hope. All I had to do was get in there, and explain things to her as fast as I could.

After all, how could she argue with my perfectly infallible logic? She couldn't. I had won, at last, even if the prize was only a temporary pardon. It was better than nothing.

I just had to make it to the bathroom.

Chapter Eleven

"So, you see?" I finished triumphantly, grinning with the brilliance of me. "I don't have to use this stupid old Pull-Up, I can use the potty like a big girl, and you can't do anything about it!"

I stuck my tongue out at Jen, planting my hands on my hips, waiting for the inevitable. She couldn't deny my logic, no way, all she could do was get out of the bathroom stall and let me enjoy my victory, before I ended up peeing my pants, like I was feeling more and more like I would with every passing second.

It seemed a strange place to win myself this right, standing in the handicapped stall of the bathroom, Jen in front of me, busy transferring things from the shopping bag into the diaper bag, putting them in and then taking them back out as if trying to figure out the best way to put them, the diaper changing thing on the wall right next to me. I was actually looking forward to seeing that opened, to be perfectly honest. I had always sort of wondered what the inside of one looked like.

Of course, I hadn't been expecting to be the one being changed on it when I finally got to see.

Jen stood there for a minute, pretending to be all thoughtful. I knew the truth, though - she was just trying to take as long as she could to answer, just like she'd taken as long as she could to lead me from the checkout lane to the bathroom, even with me tugging at her arm to try to speed her up. Well, if she thought that was going to be all it took to outsmart me, she was sorely mistaken! I would show her... Even if my bladder felt like it was going to explode.

The bathroom was empty except for us, but still the stall door was closed, not that I was complaining. There was a steady drip, drip from one of the sinks outside the door, definitely not any help to me in my struggle. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, it was still there, seeming even to be getting louder, like it had gotten inside my body, echoing in my mind before moving its way downward, through me, heading for my bladder, where I knew there wasn't enough room for even another drop.

I bit down on my bottom lip a little harder, wishing I hadn't thought of it like that. Wishing more so that Jen would admit I'd won this time, and get out, before the dripping found its way. I could almost feel it, now, moving down my throat, clogging out any words I might have uttered to encourage Jen's immediate departure, heading towards my tummy.

Jen set her bags down on the floor, brought a hand up to her face, where a finger tapped slowly, ever so slowly against her lips.

"Jen, come on!" I begged as my throat cleared, letting loose my desperate words. Clear of my throat, the dripping zoomed through my stomach, sure of its way now, knowing right where to go. It didn't even give me time to react before it found its way to its destination, taking up residence there. I winced as I waited for the inevitable.

Drip.

True to my expectations, I could all but see my bladder bulging out with this, too full, and thus sending a drop into my waiting Pull-Up. I winced, fought to keep it at that, just a drop - no big deal. I'd had worse accidents in my normal panties, as much as I hated to admit it, at the movies, when I waited too long to run out of the theater, not wanting to miss anything important.

Drip.

Another drop, absorbed quickly, as if it had never been, into the padding around my bottom. But I knew it -had- been, and that was what mattered. I wasn't going to let it happen again. No matter what. But, as I stood before my big sister, squirming, I wasn't sure how long I could keep that resolution.

Jen's mouth began to open, at last. Hope flooded through my body, giving me the extra strength I needed when the next drip echoed through the bathroom. Until I noticed the curve her mouth was taking as it opened, and I saw her smile beginning to form, not a smile of congratulations to me for having outsmarted her, but one that told me I had, in fact, not done any such thing.

"Hmm... Well, We'll see," she said.

Then she was beside me, her fingers darting to my sides, to my tummy, tickling away. Sometimes, if I knew it was coming, I could actually keep from laughing when I got tickled, at least when my feet were left out of it, as they mercifully were now, since they were being shielded by my shoes. I didn't see this coming, didn't have any warning.

The sound of the dripping faucet seemed to fade away, replaced with my own giggles, as I tried to squirm away from the assault, tried in vain to stop laughing at least. No matter which way I moved, Jen's hands were there first, relentless.

I gave out a gasp as I felt a warm spot growing around my bottom, as my aching bladder sighed in relief. Jen moved her tickling hands away, but by then it was too late for me to do anything but stand there and finish wetting my pants in front of her, while she watched with a smirk, satisfied once again that she had beaten me.

I couldn't speak for a minute or two, just stood there in shock, as the warmness began to fade, none too quickly. My jeans felt a little tighter, I thought, struggling to contain my now soaked Pull-Up.

"You... You cheated!" I sputtered finally, eyes flashing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jen lied calmly. "Did something happen?"

I glared at her, unable to even fathom replying to that.

"Did my sweet little sister have an accident, perhaps?" she asked as she took ahold of the changing thing on the wall, and pulled it open. It was very disappointing, and rather boring, just a white, plastic shelf, the only interesting part the picture of a baby koala in a diaper adorning the back.

I felt gypped. All this time, wondering what it could possibly look like, and that was it?

Even so, I was so busy staring at that, I barely noticed Jen was beside me again, having already unbuttoned my jeans, and starting to pull them down. I looked down, curious despite myself, a blush invading my cheeks at the sight of the soggy, saggy Pull-Up beneath.

"I guess so," Jen said, unconvincingly feigning surprise.

"You cheated!" I repeated, pulling my jeans back up, although I wasn't sure what I meant to accomplish with that.

"I don't recall ever saying anything about tickling," Jen smiled innocently, before returning to her fallen bags, pulling out some sort of large mat from the diaper bag and spreading it over the changing table. "Take off your shoes for me."

"Well, from now on, you can't," I sulked, following her instructions, letting her pick me up and set me on the edge of the ledge, the wet feeling growing stronger as my padded bottom met the plastic, so she could take off my jeans and hang them over one of the metal bars going around the stall.

"And when do you get the power to make rules?" Jen asked, amused, while she picked me up and slid me back a little further onto the shelf, setting my down onto my bottom before gently pushing my chest, making me lie back.

Not sure what to say to that, I pouted instead, until coming up with a less than satisfactory, "Not fair." I folded my arms across my chest and sulked.

Jen had the package of diapers in her hands by then, halfway through ripping them open. I could smell them from where I lay, fidgeting, partly from my wet Pull-Up, mostly from the butterflies that had just hatched in my tummy at the scent. It brought back... not memories, precisely, but flashes of them, moments of experiences long forgotten, feelings - mostly happiness, strangely.

It reminded me that I was going to be in a diaper in a few minutes.

The package opened under Jen's fingers, revealing the tops of the diapers, all lined up in a row, underneath. She pulled out a handful, set them next to my head. I eyed them nervously, then more so as she took out a second handful. Jen saw my eyes, giggled.

"I'm not wearing all of those, am I?" I asked nervously, hoping not. The Pull-Up had seemed thick enough, but it was nothing compared to all of these... I had never been around a baby getting changed, though, and I wasn't sure exactly how it worked.

"Not all at once," she assured me as she took out the last of them, set them down, then picked up one. "You want to look at it?" I shook my head, blushing to think she actually thought I was interested in them. She shrugged, picked up the diaper bag, pulled out the two bottles and the baby wipes from before, started piling in the diapers. I wasn't expecting them all to fit, but somehow, they all vanished inside, as easily as the package they'd come in disappeared into the trash can in the corner behind my head.

All but one.

"Tell you what," she said, pushing my T-shirt and away from where it had fallen when I laid down, mostly hiding the yellow-tinged training pants. "I promise not to tickle you... Too much." But, with her final words, she began to tickle my tummy anyway. I giggled, squirming around on my back.

When she tired of that, her hands moved to my Pull-Up, gently slipping in between it and one of my legs. It ripped open under her fingers, as did the other side a moment later.

The box of baby wipes opened with a snap, the first wipe peeking out from the hole in the center, looking almost like one of those thin, soft little clouds. Jen grabbed it, pulled it out, folded the front of my Pull-Up down.

I jumped a little as the wipe touched my skin, surprised at the feeling it brought, cold and slightly wet, hardly better than the feeling it had replaced.

"Sorry," Jen laughed as I shot her another offended look, continuing to use the wipe anyway, and then another, lifting my bottom a little with one hand. She slipped the Pull-Up out from under me, wipes sitting in the center, set me back down while she folded it up and threw it away.

She unfolded the diaper, the scent from before invading my senses again, bringing back the almost memories. She slipped one end underneath my bottom, let me settle back down onto the padding. It was a little thicker than the Pull-Up had been, though not by as much as I'd expected. It felt a little softer, too, I thought as I wiggled my bottom a little, greeting my ears with the soft sound of crinkling.

The baby oil was next, an even weirder feeling than the wipes, though it was cold as well, and a little slick and slimy. Jen lifted me up, turned me over, and I turned, craning my neck as far as I could to see baby powder falling against my bottom, white and gentle as snow, before Jen flipped me back the right way again, and powdered my front. It did smell nice, I had to admit, but even more babyish than the diapers had, if only because it was much stronger.

She wiped off her hands on the sides of her jeans, smiled down at me. "Almost done," she said, in case I hadn't noticed her reaching for the top of the diaper.

She pulled it up gently, and through my legs, which spread apart on their own, like they were used to this. It settled down over my front, where she had sprinkled all that baby powder, probably more than I really needed, although I could only guess, since I wasn't sure what it was for besides making me smell the part of a baby. She smoothed the diaper down, the padding pressing down around me from all sides now.

Jen taped up one side, reached over for the other, pulled it tight around my bottom. Taped it closed.

And then it was done.

There I lay, a supposedly grown-up seven year old, wearing a diaper I'd - however reluctantly - agreed to be put into. Jen was standing over me with a grin I hadn't seen in years, utterly delighted with this humiliation.

"Perfect," she breathed, as if she was afraid speaking too loudly would make it end, take me back to what I used to be. "You are..." she began, then paused, searching for just the right words. What she came up with sounded like "...absolutely adorable!"; I can't be sure, since she spoke them as she picked me up and twirled me around in a circle.

"No, I don't," I blushed.

"If you say so," she winked, finally setting me back down and picking up my pants. The diaper felt thicker, now that it was closed, sealed, inescapable.

I let her tug my jeans up my legs and then lift me down from the changing table and pull them the rest of the way up, while I attempted to get used to this new feeling, surprised to find that it wasn't quite as horrid and I'd feared, although I still wasn't happy about it. I was less happy about the next words that came from Jen's lips, however.

"Uh-oh."

Those were never things I wanted to hear from her, especially when I knew they were in relation to me. I looked down quickly, trying to see what had happened, and saw her pulling my jeans back down.

"What are you doing?" I asked, alarmed.

"Sweetie..." she started gently, already trying to calm me down. Not a good sign. "Your jeans... They don't fit over the diaper." She had the good grace to blush at this "mistake", even as she folded up my pants and stuffed them into the diaper bag, following them up with the rest of the stuff still sitting up on the changing area.

I didn't even know what to say. Yelling seemed like a good idea, except it wouldn't make my jeans bigger, or my diaper smaller. I tugged at the bottom of my T-shirt, which felt like it was getting smaller as I stood there, too shocked to even cry.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, voice choked and small, having to fight its way through the gigantic knot that my stomach had turned into.

"There's only one thing -to- do," Jen said, her encouraging tone working to calm me down a bit. "This is nothing to worry about, I promise."

"But what are we going to do?" I asked again.

And Jen smiled.

"We're going to get you some new clothes."

Elizabeth

Chapter Twelve

"Ow!" I shouted, a little delayed, hardly even having noticed what happened until then. I didn't notice that it hadn't exactly hurt, either, my butt having been saved from the worst of the impact by the diaper wrapped around it. Well, that was at least one use for it...

"You okay?" Jen asked, trying not to laugh at the shocked look on my face as I sat on the floor of the bathroom stall, one of my shoes in my hand, the other resting beside me.

"I'm fine," I glared at her, climbing back up with a blush, resting my elbow against the wall again, trying to find a position that wouldn't dump me back onto the seat of my diaper once I was on one foot trying to put my shoes back on again.

"Here, let me do that," Jen rolled her eyes and picked me up to set me back down onto the changing table, though when I saw her face, she was smiling. "Give it here." I handed her my shoe, lifted my foot to let her slip it on, pull the strings tight.

"That's too tight," I complained.

"You don't want them falling off, do you? Or having them come untied so you trip over them in the store? Because I don't know that your shirt is long enough to cover that cute little diaper of yours if you fall over." I stuck my tongue out at her, yet I didn't complain again. It wasn't until she had my second shoe on that I started to wonder how I was going to fall if she was holding my hand, as she had been all morning.

"You ready, babe?" she asked, setting me down.

"Do I hafta?" I blinked up at her with a pout, hoping she would take pity on me, let me hide until she brought me new, bigger pants.

"Penni, I'm not leaving you in the bathroom by yourself," she told me, like it was some stupid idea. What could happen to me in the bathroom? Yeesh. "Besides, do you really want me picking something out for you all on my own?"

That, on the other hand, was quite the good point, not that I expected to be given much control over what she bought for me, because, hey, I was just going to be the one wearing it - it wasn't like I mattered that much.

Jen opened the stall door and walked to the sink, turning on the water. I was a little slower, glancing back and forth across the bathroom, just in case anyone had come in after we had, was waiting for me to step out so they could see me in my diaper. I found myself tugging down at my shirt again before stepped out of the stall with a seemingly thunderous crinkle, even with the tiny step I took, trying to get used to the bulk between my legs.

"Penni?" Jen's eyebrow was raised as she wiped off her hands on a paper towel. "You coming?"

"Yes," I muttered, took another step, small, feeling like I was waddling. Jen sighed, leaned back against the wall as I slowly approached, growing more accustomed, though not much, to my situation. I got up onto my tiptoes to squeeze out some soap onto my hands, rubbed them together and lifted the faucet with my elbow to turn it on.

Jen handed me a paper towel once I was done, which I noticed as my hands waited inches away from my sides. She shoved it at me before I could wipe off my dripping hands on my shirt, so I took it, dried myself, threw it away, and suddenly found myself lifted, pressed against Jen's side, her hand on the bottom of my diaper.

"I can walk," I insisted, even though I didn't particularly feel like walking around the store any more.

"You could, if you want to be in here for the rest of the day," she teased, reaching forward to swing open the bathroom door. "But I thought you might want to get home before mom and dad do. Unless you don't want to get changed before that, of course."

"I wouldn't take all day," I said with a pout, intending to keep it on my face for a few minutes, only to have it erased, replaced with a giggle, as Jen tickled my tummy, and I squirmed against her arm.

"Hey, calm down, or I'll drop you," she warned, not giving me time to tell her not to tickle me, then, before going on. "And at the rate you were walking, we'd be lucky if you just took all day to cross the store. It'd probably be more like all week."

I sulked. "Well, you try walking in a..." I cut myself off with a blush, looking down at her shoulder so I could pretend all the people around weren't there, hadn't almost heard me admit my deep, dark secret, hoping they couldn't guess anyhow. "Put me down," I said after a minute as I tilted my head back up, saw all the people, every one of which appeared to be staring straight at me.

"Hmm?" Jen glanced down at me, clearly not paying any attention.

"Jen, put me down," I repeated, starting to struggle against her arm.

"Penni!" Jen scolded, doing her best to keep her iron grip around me secure.

"I want to walk," I protested, pushing away from her. "I don't need to be carried!"

"Fine, whatever," Jen sighed, giving in at last. "It's too bad they don't rent strollers here, like at the mall."

"I am -not- riding in a stroller," I told her firmly, setting her straight, letting myself have the illusion that she might actually listen, for once.

"You aren't today," Jen agreed. I stared up at her suspiciously, but she quickened her pace a little, forcing me to move faster as well, or be trapped on the other side of the sea of people she was crossing through. I was so busy trying to make sure neither that nor my arm getting pulled from its socket by Jen happened, I barely noticed the difference the diaper made in my walk, although it still made me waddle a tiny bit even when I didn't realize, barely hear the normally ear-bursting crinkle it made.

"You're walking too fast," I complained as she turned a corner, taking us straight into a jungle of blouses and skirts, dresses and jeans, all more Jen's size than mine, pressing in on us from every side. By the time I'd finished, Jen had already slowed down, making my comment feel a bit out of place and pointless.

"You're walking too slow," she countered. "Which is why I was carrying you."

"My legs aren't as long as yours," I pointed out, but decided to let the subject drop before I convinced myself that having Jen carry me really was the better idea. Instead, I started searching for the corner of the clothes section where they kept all the makeup. It appeared to have gotten up and went somewhere else, however, because I didn't spot it before I found myself standing in the middle of the kids' section of the clothes, a starry eyed Jen letting go of my hand as she gazed around dreamily before rushing off towards the nearest clothes rack.

"Jeans are over here," I called, torn between edging towards them to hide and hanging by her side to keep her from picking -everything- the store had for me to try on.

"Oh, don't be so boring, Penni," she replied, picking up a short yellow dress with a pair of shorts or something for underneath, floppy hat attached to the front of the hanger. "We have all these clothes to choose from, and you just want to look at jeans?"

"They're what I was wearing before," I grumbled to myself. Not that Jen cared. Not that she cared what -I- wanted to wear now. She was caught up in her little fantasy world, picking out new outfits for her sweet, obedient baby sister, who never protested or complained, and was even happy to let herself get dressed in whatever new thing caught her big sister's eye.

Well, that was all it was - a fantasy. I marched over to her, grabbed at the yellow dress, only to have it swish out of my fingers' grasp. "Those are going to fit," I told her. "And I don't want to wear that," I added, referring to another dress, this one all rainbow colored, which wasn't bad, except it was even shorter than the yellow one. She had a couple other dresses now, too, even some that may have been the right size for me.

Jen paused for a moment, nearly enough time to give me hope, almost making me believe I'd broken through to her, and we could throw down those dresses and find me a pair of jeans, and just get out of there. Jen turned, holding the dress up, smoothing it out against me. It looked like it might actually fit, surprisingly, except for the skirt ending far too close to the top of my diaper for comfort.

"Looks perfect to me," she teased, moved on to another rack, keeping both dresses draped across her arm.

"Jen, the jeans are over there," I reminded her, tugging at her sleeve.

"What about these pants? They're much better than jeans." Jen smiled as she picked them up. They were sky blue, capris with darker blue ties at the bottom of the legs, actually kind of nice. I was too shocked to tell her I would be fine with them, and why can't we go now, until I saw why she had liked them - the word 'Cutie' written across the rear.

"They'd be perfect for you, she gushed, grinning at the blush spreading across my face. I couldn't wear those! Especially not now... I didn't want people trying to read them, and noticing my diaper underneath. And people would definitely try to read them, since the letters were all glittery and pretty. Sure, they would be covered up this time, since my shirt went down further than them, but what if people could see them somehow anyway? Then again, if they could do that, they could already be looking through my shirt, to the diaper underneath, laughing under their breaths at me as they moved down the aisle between the girls' clothes and the boys', on their way to the grocery section of the store.

I blushed, tried to hide behind Jen without her realizing what I was up to. She was looking at a jumper now, a tan one that was actually a combination of jumper and skort. Compared to her other choices so far, it wasn't too bad. I'd have to try to convince her to choose it, not that my opinion would make much difference in her ultimate decision. She seemed to like it too, though.

And then she found the shortalls. They were denim with pink running down the sides of the legs and up the shoulder straps, the word Princess across the front surrounded by a flower underneath and a crown above, and another flower on the left pocket and they look at them. She picked up a pair, love in her eyes. I had to admit they weren't too bad, either, though the pair she held were pretty small, a fact she noted quite sadly.

"They have bigger sizes," I pointed out while she ever-so-slowly set the hanger back in its place, as if taking her time saying goodbye to a dear friend going on summer vacation.

"Those don't have these, though," she sighed, pointing to a row of snaps I hadn't noticed before, running along the inside of the legs.

"What are those for?" I asked, confused why they would make a difference, although Jen's answer, or, rather, lack of, made me curious.

"Oh, nothing much," she'd shrugged, digging through the shortalls to find the biggest size with the snaps. A sad sigh escaped her lips when she found it, her eyes flickering from it to me doubtfully. "Well, maybe," she said doubtfully, adding it to her stack of clothes. She got a bigger size, too, without the mysterious snaps.

She decided I would need a different shirt for under the shortalls, if that's what we ended up getting, and, by the tone of her voice, I began to suspect they would be, and we dug through a bunch of cute tops, what seemed like at least half of them ending up across her arm. She spent a while in the skirt section, too, picking out a few that were almost certainly too short, and a few I liked all right.

At last, she glanced at everything she'd picked up, appearing slightly surprised to see how much was there. "Maybe we'd better start trying some of these on, huh?" I shrugged listlessly, preparing myself for another afternoon of playing dress up for Jen, wondering how many more 'just one more thing!'s I'd hear this time.

The teenager sitting at the desk in front of these dressing rooms looked even more bored than the one at the mall had been, barely even noticed us until we were nearly at our little room. "You can only have six items in there at a time," she said quietly, voice so low I couldn't quite make it out, though Jen apparently could, as she left me standing alone in front of the door, nervously pulling on my shirt, to talk to the girl.

"Can I leave the rest of these with you, then?" she asked, counting out the top six things on the pile and holding the rest out.

"Whatever," the girl shrugged, so Jen set them down on the corner of the desk, then, after a second thought, started sliding my diaper bag off of her arm.

"Can I leave this here, too? Those changing rooms are pretty crowded..." Another shrug, and the bag dropped to the ground with a soft, crinkly thud. I would have wished for it to be stolen and taken away forever, so that there wouldn't be any new diapers for Jen to put me into, but my second favorite pair of jeans were in there, too, and I wasn't sure I was willing to sacrifice them. Besides, Jen would probably just get another package of diapers anyway.

"Thanks," Jen smiled, politely, but it soon grew as she saw me standing there, waiting for her. "Well, let's go see what you look like in these," she said, giving no indication that she was going to hand the clothes over. I don't know why it had taken me so long, but it wasn't until then that I realized she intended to try the clothes on me herself.

I hadn't agreed to this, but, standing there in my diaper and T-shirt, after having let her put those on me without any kind of protest (well, not for the T-shirt anyway), I couldn't bring myself to say no, to protest. To remind her that she had claimed to know that I wasn't really a baby, especially since that might provoke her to buy a pacifier after all. So I said nothing, just walked into the dressing room and let her dress me up to her heart's content.

I couldn't help but wonder if maybe this was why she'd done it, if she had known that putting me back into diapers would get her favorite doll back for her. Jen -was- kinda smart, really, and she does know me pretty well, probably more than I wanted to admit. That was one explanation, anyway, though there was another, much more tragic one - Jen had lost her mind, and really thought that I had turned back into a baby.

Either way, Jen was having a blast, bringing all her wonderful finds in six at a time, leaving me standing in just my diaper, hiding in the corner of the room so nobody could peek in and see me, while she went to get the next batch. For a while, I thought, worried, dreaded, that she was going to just get me one of the shirts we'd found, nothing else, as those were what she gushed over the most as I stood in front of her with what felt like a permanent blush on my cheeks as I stared at my fidgeting, sock clad feet.

Not even the pants she'd liked so much were as cute, apparently, since they committed the horrible sin of covering up my diaper. My dream from the night before began to return to me as she stood there, contemplative. Not all of it, just a brief part, not even words to go with the pictures.

I'd been in the ballroom again, although it was mostly abandoned now, all the chandeliers hanging useless and unlit, leaving the place a dark, twisted maze, empty table scattered about precariously, some overturned, some with food still spread out across them. I made sure to watch out for the spinach, which I suspected was still loose somewhere, as I made my way through, moving silently and carefully, just another shadow.

Because there was somebody else there, someone familiar, though I couldn't put my finger on why just yet. She was wearing a dress, however, and waiting on the platform where the moon had arrived to the ball, staring upwards expectantly.

I crawled under a table, one I was sure had been hiding the entrance to the stars' prison, but there was only darkness there to greet me, too complete for me to know for sure if this was the one or not. I felt the floor in front of me frantically, wishing I had brought a flashlight or something, when suddenly, a soft light began to flood in from under the tablecloth, revealing a smooth surface underneath me.

I almost said thank you to the bearer of the light, but luckily my senses returned to me first, and instead I peeked out from under the tablecloth, and found the moon sitting up on the pedestal again, speaking with the figure who had been standing there before, the figure who turned out to be the same person who I returned to reality to find sliding a dress on over my head.

Jen. I'd never believed she was working for the moon, and I still didn't. But she very well could be working with him. After all, he'd given her the perfect opportunity to do me a favor I'd have to repay when he made me wet my pajamas, and she was well on the way to turning me back into the baby she wanted me to be, hardly hero material in the least. Not only would he have his revenge on me for ruining his ball, he would have me out of the way, too busy being diapered and dressed up to fight him.

I glared at Jen suspiciously, trying to glean the truth from her mind as she finally came to the two pairs of shortalls. She tried the bigger pair on me first, nodding with approval to see that it fit, and probably even more so to see that it was a little big on me. Then she tried the second pair, I'm sure mentally crossing her fingers as she slipped them up my legs, over my diaper, lifted up the front and tried to attach the shoulder strap.

"Shoot." She stared sadly at the too-short strap, looking as if she'd lost her best friend. For a moment, I thought it was over, and we could just get the other pair and go, since she'd seemed to find them cute, yet in that moment, a revelation came upon her in a flash, and she started to fiddle with the straps. She tried again.

That time, they went over my shoulder, down my front, to their buttons, and, finally, snapped into place. "Perfect!" she exclaimed, though she still turned me around a couple times, looking me over, and made me sit down in them before repeating herself, this time adding, "Good thing these gave you plenty of extra space for your diapers."

I thought we'd be done then, but I was, unfortunately, quite wrong, since Jen had to go back through all of the shirts, trying to decide which one went best with the shortalls. Finally, she settled on a pink one with a bear on the front that she claimed was from a TV show that I'd never heard of. The bear was made of little rhinestones, but sadly mostly got covered up. It also had black trimming around the ends of the sleeves, and along the bottom, where there were two bows, one on each side, which -were- visible through the sides of my shortalls.

"Say thanks to the nice lady for watching your bag," Jen instructed as we left, holding our - or rather, Jen's - choices, leaving the rest in a pile on the desk.

"Thanks," I said shyly, hoping she hadn't looked through the bag while we were busy, unless she had then recognized my plight, and taken away all the diapers to help me out in my battle against the evil forces of Jen, and the moon. The bag appeared to be just as full as when we'd gone into the dressing room, unfortunately, though at least she also didn't act like she knew I was in a diaper.

"Yeah, thanks a lot to you, too," she muttered under her breath as she started to sort through all the clothes we'd left behind, shooting both of us dirty looks as we walked away.

Chapter Thirteen

The trek back to the front of the store didn't seem to take nearly as long, although I'm not sure if that was because I was walking faster, so as to get changed all the more quickly, or if I wanted to get out simply so we could go home and get some lunch. Of course, Jen might also have been walking slower, so pleased with her so-to-be purchases she was willing to take her time to gaze at them some more. Either way, for once we were both walking at the same speed, without the need for arm pulling on either side, or for one of us to be picked up and carried like a baby we most certainly were not.

As we finally cleared the vast forest of clothes, finding ourselves back in the native wilds of the rest of Wal-Mart once more, I at last spotted the cosmetics counter - which I also just remembered the correct name for then, and felt rather proud of myself for doing so - where it had apparently migrated back to the spot I was sure I'd been looking for it earlier.

Despite the ever expanding hole in my tummy, threatening to spiral out of control and suck the rest of my body inside and leave me all inside out and still hungry, I exclaimed, "Let's go over there, Jen! Please?"

Jen sounded eager to get out of the store now, too, I guess since she'd already sucked out all of its potential for humiliating me. "Why do you want to look at cards, sweetie? Nobody's birthday is coming up..."

I rolled my eyes, unsure if she was joking. "Not there, -there-." I pointed this time, smiled hopefully up at her, all butterflies and innocence. "Just for a minute?"

"Penni, you don't wear makeup," she reminded me, like I could have forgotten that particular unfairness.

"I wanna go look at nail polish," I announced, made my eyes go wider, until I was afraid they would fall out of their sockets and bounce around on the floor like little rubber balls. "Please?"

Jen didn't seem to care about that risk I was taking, and just sighed. "You can't have nail polish, sweetie, you know that."

I tried to keep my grin from being too apparent, feeling a little like Jen, the thrill of seeing my bait taken coursing through my veins as I let the trap fall. "But you told me that when I was a baby, you used to paint my fingernails all the time," I reminded her sweetly. "Don't you want to do that again?"

I knew she did; I could see it on her face, as the memories flooded back to her, and she imagined them anew, with a grown-up me replacing the little baby. How could she resist? And yet, somehow she did, at least a little. "I'll think about it, okay? Maybe if you're good, I'll let you use some of mine tomorrow."

I waited, hoping for more, although I wasn't sure what. Sure, it was a victory of sorts, a bit uncertain but at least something, if not what I was looking for. "All right," I agreed reluctantly, seeing that it was all I was going to get.

We went to a different register this time, one that belonged to an old lady with white hair who squinted at us from behind her glasses, probably barely able to see us even then. I'm not sure why Jen didn't choose our regular checkout lane, though it was fine with me she hadn't. The girl there had seen me before, wearing jeans and standing shyly by while my big sister bought diapers. What would she think to see us coming through again, me now without pants, buying a new outfit? I was sure the only thing that could come into her mind was what had really happened, and she was nice, so I didn't want her to know that. Not that she probably hadn't already assumed the diapers were for me. Why else would we be getting them?

"Have a nice day," the old woman creaked.

"Oh, we will," Jen smiled, picking up the bag and leading me to the bathroom again, a bathroom I wondered if I'd ever be able to use for its intended purpose again. I wouldn't have minded doing so right about then, although I didn't have to go too bad yet. Maybe I could hold it until we got home, and Jen got bored of all this. Or, more likely, until mommy came home, and Jen had to let me out of my diaper anyway. Then again, that would depend on where else Jen was planning on taking me first.

"Here," she said, shoving the shopping bag and diaper bag into my unsuspected arms, making me stagger backwards a step or two in surprise, and I struggled to find a good way to hold both of them. "Why don't you take the tags off your new outfit, okay? And if anyone tries to take you, scream or something."

"What?" I blinked, confused for a moment, until finally it dawned on me. "I wouldn't mind going to the bathroom, too," I told her, pouting.

She grinned, patted my bottom with a crinkle. "Go right ahead, babe." I blushed as she vanished into a stall, quickly losing myself in peeling size stickers off of my shortalls and putting them onto the side of the shopping bag, hoping the woman who had just walked over to the sink hadn't heard Jen's suggestion. The actual tags I couldn't get off any more than I normally could, at least without leaving the little plastic loop attached.

I hadn't even noticed Jen's re-emergence until I heard her voice saying, "That's a good girl," beside me at the sink, and I jumped a little, glared up at her for surprising me like that. She just smiled, took the shirt out of my hands, snapped the tags off - though it did take her some effort to do so, too, so I didn't feel quite so bad - and handed it back to me before leading me back to the handicapped stall.

Jen was a little surprised herself, though mostly disappointed, to find my diaper still dry when she tugged my T-shirt off over my head, folding it up and hiding it away in the diaper bag. My stomach growled a little as she pulled my new shirt down, her expression worrying me again that she might decide I didn't need more than a shirt and a diaper after all.

"Sounds like somebody's hungry, huh?" I wasn't sure why, but it made me blush a bit, even though it was hardly the worst thing I'd been asked that day. "I am, too," she confessed as she saw my cheeks reddening. "We'll go get something to eat as soon as we get out of here."

"We aren't going home?" The thought hadn't occurred to me before, that Jen might want to take me out to eat all dolled up.

"You don't really want to wait till that long, do you?" I shook my head reluctantly, letting Jen slip my shoes off for a second so I could step into my shortalls. "I thought we'd go to Fazoli's."

My tummy, what was left of it, lurched suddenly, and I stared down at my new outfit, currently having its shoulder straps fastened up.

"What's wrong? I thought you liked it there." Jen lifted me up, pulling the ledge back out for a place to set me while she put my shoes back on.

"What if I get sauce all over myself?" I asked quietly, knowing full well that if I got just about anything there, that was invariably what would end up happening. And then Jen would probably get mad at me for ruining the clothes she'd just bought me, and who knows what she'd do to me then?

But she just smiled mysteriously, the kind of smile that made me feel very nervous. "Oh, I don't think you'll need to worry about that, sweetie." She surveyed me with a critical eye, reached out to straighten one of the legs on my shortalls. "Looks great!" she announced. "You know, maybe you should wear this for dad when he gets home, 'Princess'." I didn't think it was a bad idea, but the glimmer in Jen's eyes told me she was joking, even if I couldn't figure out why.

I had to admit I felt a lot better as we stepped out of the bathroom the second time, knowing that my clothes couldn't accidentally get short all the sudden now and reveal the bottom of my diaper to the world. Of course, the slight bulge around my bottom was probably just as obvious, but I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not.

Our usual cashier waved at us as we emerged, and this time I waved back, hoping she wouldn't remember I'd been dressed differently before. She hadn't seen us buying my new clothes, after all, so maybe she wouldn't. The old man at the door waved to us, too, so I returned the favor, wondering if he and the old woman who'd sold us my outfit were married. They looked like they might be the same age, at least as far as I could tell, and they both worked at the same place. And they both told us the same thing as we walked past - "Have a nice day!"

Fazoli's was luckily pretty empty when we arrived, just a few groups of people, most of them around mommy and daddy's age, sitting at the back surrounded by a halo of smoke, mostly eating quietly except for one table, and another woman sitting up in the section closer to the registers with a little boy around my age. I quickly ducked behind Jen as I saw him, but when I peeked back out, I realized he wasn't from my class after all, although I wasn't sure he didn't go to my school.

"You know what you want?" Jen asked, extracting me from her leg so we could walk over the the register once I nodded, having made my decision in the car, and feeling rather proud of myself for coming up with something I liked, and that I wouldn't have to worry about being too messy with. "Well, tell him."

I glanced up to see the teenage boy watching me and Jen, blushed shyly and looked down at me feet as I asked, "Could I get a pepperoni pizza kid's meal?"

He didn't seem to understand, since Jen repeated me when she ordered her own food. "Would you like me to take a high chair over to your table?" he asked casually, handing Jen a pair of cups.

Before I could protest, Jen answered with a, "That would be great. I think we'll sit right over by the window," and pulled me over to the drink machine to ask what I wanted.

"I don't need a high chair," I told her, trying not to be so loud that the boy, who was seated just a few tables away from where we stood, could hear - not that he wouldn't see me sitting there in a minute - but still trying to get my displeasure across.

Obviously, I did a poor job of it, as Jen continued pouring drinks and collected lids and straws and utensils, ignoring me until we got to our table. "Jen, c'mon," I pleaded, putting on my best pout, which was still not good enough to keep Jen from picking me up, sliding me down into the high chair, reaching around to strap me in. "I'm not gonna fall out," I informed her sulkily.

"If you keep fidgeting like that, you will," she shrugged, happily flipped the tray down over my head, slid it back into place, imprisoning me even more thoroughly. I squirmed in the seat, crinkling loudly as I moved across the plastic lining, hoping it would somehow recognize that I wasn't a baby and let me out.

It just stood there, steadfast, keeping me trapped within it's admittedly comfortable embrace, helpless as Jen unfolded the plastic bib that had come with it. "I don't need a bib," I tried to explain, even though I knew by then it was futile to try to tell her what I did and didn't need. "I got pizza, 'member? Not spaghetti or anything."

"It's just in case," she claimed, tying it around me neck and straightening the front. "You were the one who was worried about getting your new clothes all dirty, weren't you?"

I glared at her over the top of my cup as I took another thirsty sip, wished for the kazillionth time she wasn't so dang good at turning my words, and actions, and everything about me, against me, or at least that I could learn to do the same to her to get more than just the possibility of using some of her nail polish. And even that she'd most likely find a way of making me regret I'd ever asked for.

If -I- was the big sister, I wouldn't be so mean, I knew. I'd take my little sister to get her ears pierced, and instead of forbidding her from touching my makeup, I'd be nice and teach her how to put it on. And I certainly would never make her wear diapers, and eat in a high chair in a bib just because I liked to pretend she was my very own doll.

But, no, Jen had to be born first, and screw everything up. What did she know about being a good big sister? Absolutely nothing. There had to have been some kind of big cosmic mistake that mixed the two of us up. It was the only explanation, or at least the only one I felt like tolerating just then.

"That looks like our food," Jen suddenly announced, getting up to go to the counter, returning balancing a tray of food. I reached out for my plate, stomach growling, only to have the toy that came with my meal placed in my hands instead.

"Jen, gimme my food," I pouted, struggling to rip the plastic around the toy apart.

"Here." Jen took it back and opened it easily, letting the contents fall into her hand and then onto the tray of my high chair. It was a robot head, made mostly of clear plastic, other than its features, which were red, and its mouth would open and close with the press of a button on the bottom.

"I want my food," I repeated, pressing the button a couple of times.

"Just a minute, sweetie," Jen said, picking up a knife and fork and putting them to my slice of pizza.

"What are you doing?" I tried to lean forward, to retrieve my plate, but the tray locked around me and the strap on the seat kept me from doing more than accidentally knocking my robot head onto the table.

"I'm getting lil' Penni's lunch ready for her." She put my toy back onto the tray, clearly amused, though I wasn't sure if it was with me or herself.

"It's already ready for me," I protested, barely able to keep myself from throwing the head at her, since it was about the only thing I could do from the chair, other than try to kick her. Since I didn't want to risk her keeping my toy for herself, I gave it a shot, but my legs weren't long enough to do anything more than bang against the edge of the table.

"Be careful, babe," she cautioned with a smile. "You might need those legs someday."

I glared at her, seething in my high chair, wishing I could rub the sore spot I'd just created on my leg. I couldn't even see my leg, but I was sure it was bruising already, a big, black spot spreading across my flesh, and Jen didn't even care. She probably even wanted it that way, so she'd have an excuse to carry me everywhere, since I surely couldn't walk with my leg all injured, maybe even broken.

I took another sip of my soda, only to find my cup feeling rather light. Seeing an opportunity to keep at least part of my pizza intact, I took another sip, and another, downing the rest of my soda as fast as I could. I quickly spoke up, my voice sounding a bit more like an order than I'd intended as I said, "Jen, get me more to drink!" I almost thought she would say no, so I added in a sad little, "Please?", so she'd see I wasn't being impolite.

"Aren't you the thirsty little girl today?" she smiled, standing up and taking the cup from my outstretched hands. "I just got you that, didn't I?" But she looked strangely happy at my having downed the drink so fast, though no as glad as she was to get me some more. I very rarely drank more than one cup of anything at a restaurant - this was a desperate time, however, and it called for desperate measures.

As soon as she turned her back on me, I reached behind me, searching the smooth plastic of the back of the tray, searching for some way to get it loose. I ran my hands up and down, unsure where the tray ended and the chair began, finding absolutely nothing useful. Finally, I gave up, tried again to reach across the top of the chair and table, to grab my plate so I could start eating, filling up my still growling belly.

My arms were still way too short, so I tried to throw myself against the front of the high chair, trying uselessly to scoot it closer. I growled softly at it in frustration, kicked its legs with the heel of my foot, which only made my foot hurt. "Come on," I begged quietly, and then tried to push forwards again with a grunt.

"What are you doing, babe?" Jen asked from behind me, her eyes a bit worried, mostly amused.

"Nothing," I sulked, leaning back in my chair, resolving not to touch my drink, even though I'd made her get up to get it for me.

I picked my robot head back up, clacked its teeth at Jen, who didn't even notice because she was back to cutting up my pizza for me. I imagined the head getting bigger, and bigger, until it could snap off Jen's head like nothing, and then I would put it on Jen's neck so it could get me out of the stupid high chair, and drive me back home, and get me out of this dumb diaper. Mommy and daddy might get mad, but surely even they knew it would be a better big sister than Jen. And if not, it could snap off their heads, too, and we could come back here to get some new ones.

I realized I was still a little thirsty, and reluctantly picked up my cup, taking another sip, trying to ignore my bladder - which I was pretty sure didn't have a chance of lasting until we got home, or even finished eating - in the hope that my robot would start to get bigger sometime soon. When I glanced at it again, laying on its side on the tray, I thought it might look a bit larger already.

"Hurry up," I whispered to it, then went quickly shut up when Jen tilted her head towards me, curious. "I wasn't talking to you," I informed her, sticking my tongue out, and went back to sulking.

Elizabeth

Chapter Fourteen

The stupid robot refused to get any bigger, and I was bored of just clacking its teeth in Jen's general direction, since she didn't particularly appear to care anyhow, so I decided to risk losing it, picked it up in my hand and launched it at Jen. It shouldn't have been that hard to hit her - she wasn't very far away. My aim, as always, wasn't very good, however, so it clanged off the wall beside her, falling to the floor beside her chair.

Her head shot up at the sound; she glanced at the wall, to me, then back at the wall, eyes finally drifting downwards. "I'll be done with your food in a minute, Penni. Can you be a good girl and be still until then?"

I thought about telling her no, I didn't want to be a good girl, not for her, but I was sure I could already hear whispers behind me, from the table with the boy who might or might not go to my school. I could feel his, and his mommy's, eyes on me, burning a hole through the back of the highchair, though probably not a big enough one to help me escape.

I didn't want them looking at me anymore - the more I thought about it, the more I was sure, absolutely positive, I had seen the boy somewhere before. If he kept staring at me, he'd know for sure who I was, and then everyone in school would know, and I'd be even less likely to have new people talk to me, unless they were playing a quick game of house at recess, and wanted a baby.

I tried to sink down further into the high chair, but the strap around my waist kept me from slipping down too much more than I was already before it started pressing my diaper uncomfortably tight against me. I tried again to get the tray loose, jiggling it as hard as I could, managing only to knock my drink over, although I was quick enough to pick it back up before too much could find its way out of the straw hole. I busily occupied myself drinking some more, attempting to stare through the lid as Jen mopped up what had spilled with a napkin.

"Penni, can you sit still for two minutes, please?" she asked, her voice starting to sound more annoyed than amused.

"You could just give me my pizza," I pouted. She was almost done with it now, yet it was still salvageable, perhaps.

"In a minute."

"You just said two minutes," I reminded her. "Has it been a minute already?"

Jen rolled her eyes. "Maybe we should go back to Wal-Mart and get you that pacifier after all."

That shut me up as she finished up her work, leaving me to squirm crinkily in my seat and drink. I knew I probably shouldn't, but it wasn't like I had much of a chance of keeping myself dry much longer anyway, and it kept me busy doing something that wouldn't provoke Jen into getting me any more baby stuff.

"Here you go!" she announced, grinning proudly, as if she had done some great deed, lifting up my plate. "Do you want some parmesan cheese?"

"Don't care," I shrugged, eyes fixed on my poor pizza, cut carefully into little bite-sized pieces.

"Well, I don't care either, sweetie." I shrugged again, nodded finally, watched my plate slowly consumed by a blizzard - Jen was almost as generous with the cheese as she'd been with the baby powder.

"That's fine," I told her at last, reaching out for the plate before she thought of some new way of ruining it. I apparently wasn't fast enough - she then blew softly over the little pieces, and, lifting the plate over my hands, set it down on my tray.

"Don't want my baby girl to burn her mouth," she smiled, setting the knife and fork she'd used to cut up my pizza to one side - the side further away from me, as if my arms were long enough to reach them on the other side of her plate - and picked up her own fork, started to dig into her alfredo.

I watched her, waited, in silence. She didn't seem to notice, however, so after I minute, I was forced to speak up. "Jen, gimme my fork."

Jen glanced at me, lifting her napkin to her chin to wipe off a drop of sauce. "Sweetie, I don't think you're old enough to use a fork. You might hurt yourself."

"Then how am I s'posed to eat?" I demanded, eyes narrowing.

"Since when do you use a fork to eat pizza anyways?" she asked innocently, returning to her lunch, stuffing that satisfied expression of hers with another forkful of pasta. I continued glaring at her, blood boiling, fists balling up into fists, vision starting to blur as tears squeezed out of the corner of my eyes. "Are you going to eat? Your pizza's getting cold."

"No!" I yelled at her, a little satisfied to see her jump, a noddle slipping off her fork back onto her plate. "I'm never eating with you again, ever, because you're awful and horrible, and I HATE YOU!"

I had more to say, but I had to pause, panting softly as I tried to regain my breath for another assault, reveling in the look in her eyes. It's what she got, I told myself, for being evil and mean. She deserved it.

But when she spoke, rudely interrupting the rest of my tirade, her voice was quiet, calm, although perhaps it sounded a bit like it was being forced to sound that way. "That's fine," she told me. "But maybe you should be a little quieter about it, because the whole restaurant is staring at you." She picked up my plate, set it on the table, out of my reach, as if she were afraid I might throw it at her or something, which, I have to admit, I'd seriously considered a moment earlier.

And then I heard the deadly silence which had emerged after my outburst, felt every eye in the place firmly on me. Red flooded my cheeks, and I stared down at the tray, back to wanting to cry. Jen watched me for a minute before starting to eat again. Gradually, other people started talking to one another again, I was sure about the loud little girl in the high chair and bib; I prayed none of them knew me or my family in any way.

The hollow pain in my tummy returned, too. I stared longingly down at the pizza, mangled, but still food. "Jen," I said quietly, though I wasn't sure if it was because of that, or if she was ignoring me, that forced me to repeat myself, slightly louder, before she lifted her head.

"What is it, Penni?"

I fidgeted, stared at the tray again. "I... I want my pizza back. Please."

"I thought you weren't eating," she reminded me, voice cold.

"I changed my mind," I admitted.

"Well, that's too bad." She scooted the plate further away from me.

"C'mon, Jen!" I whined, tummy growling.

"Not until you stop being such a little brat. You were never like this the last time you were a baby." She crossed her arms, waiting, face set and serious.

I wanted to tell her that was because I hadn't been seven, nearly eight, then, but I knew that wouldn't get me my food back. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, not meaning it, or sounding like I did.

Luckily, it seemed to satisfy Jen, or she heard my tummy rumbling again and felt sorry for me. Whatever the reason, she put my plate back in front of me, still without a fork. "And you really shouldn't tell people you hate them, babe. It's not a very nice thing to say."

"Sorry," I repeated, a little more feeling coloring the word that time. She smiled softly at me, reached up to stroke my hair, running her fingers down my arm before returning to her food. I sighed, head tilting down towards my pizza for a long moment, then I picked up one of the pieces, brought it up to my mouth.

It turned out that eating pizza that way was even messier than picking up the whole slice and eating it like that. I wasn't sure quite how I did it, but somehow I managed to sauce and grease streaked around the corners of my mouth, and even across half of my face, and certainly all over my fingers. The bib was still completely unnecessary, but I knew better than to take it off. Especially since doing so would get pizza sauce all over the back of my shirt, since there weren't any napkins within my reach, and I felt awkward broaching the silence that had fallen over our table to ask for one.

I was about halfway done when I felt my first cup of soda make its way into my bladder, and not looking to stop there for long before moving on to somewhere else. I glanced nervously at Jen, still eating quietly, closer to being finished than I was even though she'd had more food. She was almost certainly still angry, I knew, which made her even less likely to let me out of the deal. I would be lucky if she took me back home with her, and didn't leave me sitting in this high chair, trapped in Fazoli's until some kind soul took pity on me.

Of course, they'd probably just end up using me for slave labor in the kitchens, or sell me to an orphanage, neither of which was any more appealing than playing baby for Jen, so I decided it was better not to get her any madder at me.

"Don't chew your fingernails, sweetie," Jen spoke up, surprising me almost as much as realizing I actually was chewing a nail. I obeyed her, for a few moments anyway, but the need to pee felt much stronger if I wasn't distracting myself with that, so I returned to gnawing nervously.

"Penni, stop it," Jen ordered, gently slapping at my hand before moving it away from my mouth, smoothing it down onto the tray next to my plate. "If I catch you doing that again, then you can forget about using my nail polish tomorrow."

I'd been sure I already should be trying to forget about that, so her words made me feel a little better, untwisting the knot that had persisted in my tummy since I'd apologized enough for another piece of pizza. Of course, knowing I couldn't bite my fingernails made it all the more tempting, as my bladder began aching more, and I searched for something to distract myself, without looking at my hands.

Instead, I glanced everywhere else, out the window, where cars were zooming by and people were bustling into the shops across the street, the whole scene bouncing up and down slightly along with my diapered bottom. I started chewing on my bottom lip instead, but it was a lot softer, and not nearly as satisfying. Unfortunately, it was still the best thing I could do, as all my squirming and fidgeting was turning out to be increasingly ineffective, serving only to once again knock over my cup, this time nearly onto my lap.

Jen leapt up, grabbing the cup before too much spilled, and using a napkin to dry off my bib before too much of my soda dripped down onto my shortalls. "Can't you keep anything dry today?" she teased, sounding much more like herself than she had for what seemed like an eternity. "Guess it was a good thing you had your bib on after all, isn't it?"

"I guess," I admitted with a blush.

I don't think she heard, as she was too busy saying, "Oh, just look at you. You're quite the mess, aren't you?", and wiping off my face and demanding my hands to give my fingers the same treatment. I wanted to point out it was her fault I was 'quite the mess', just like everything else was her fault, but I needed my teeth clamped around my lip to keep from soaking my diaper.

But at least Jen looked happy again, pleased to have some new way to take care of me. "Finish your lunch, sweetie," she instructed, sounding satisfied and motherly.

Luckily, before she could see to making sure I did that, we were interrupted by a new voice. "Do you want more breadsticks?" it asked, and I turned to find it attached to a teenage girl, swathed in the smell of fresh bread. "Well, hello, cutie," she cooed as she saw me watching her. I quickly looked back down at my pizza.

"She's precious," she told Jen, who nodded at her with a sappy smile. "Is she yours?"

Jen's expression turned surprised. "Wha-? No!" I giggled a little at her flabbergasted reaction, until she shot me a dirty look.

"Babysitting, then?" The breadstick girl was smiling, too, though I had the feeling I was being laughed at, and not with.

"No. Well, yes." It was kind of fun watching Jen trying to recollect herself, even if she did finish sooner than I'd have liked. "She's my baby sister," she explained.

"Oh, how sweet," Breadstick Girl gushed, my opinion of her falling again. "I have a little sister, too! I wish she was still this age."

I started to open my mouth to ask what 'this age' was supposed to mean, exactly, but only a squeak came out as my bladder tried again to force me to empty it, and I stopped it, only just.

"They're so adorable, then, aren't they?" she asked Jen, not waiting for an answer. "My sister is getting big now, and trying to act all grown up."

"Oh, I know what that's like," Jen grinned, looking at me, fidgeting frantically in my high chair, out of the corner of her eye.

"You'd better enjoy this one while she lasts," Breadstick Girl instructed. I wished she would go away; I didn't like her much at all anymore. I didn't appreciate being talked about as if I wasn't sitting right there.

"I definitely will," Jen assured her, seeming to have gained all of the respect that had drained from me. Unfortunately, it wasn't the only thing leaking out of me, I realized with a deep blush that felt like it was covering my entire body, from the top of my head down to my increasingly warm and wet bottom.

Breadstick Girl turned to me, her stupid grin still plastered on her face. "So, are you being a good girl for your big sister?"

"No," I pouted, not so much caring if the answer fit the question; I just wanted to disagree with her.

"No, huh?" Breadstick Girl smiled, raising an eyebrow. If I could have blushed any deeper, I would have. Did she know? Did she have some kind of big sister sense that told her I was now sitting in a rather squishy diaper?

"She was being a little... loud... earlier," Jen said.

"Oh, that was you?" Breadstick Girl laughed. "You've got quite the set of lungs on you, huh?"

I glared at her; didn't she have some else to do? "Are you Italian?" I asked, sounding a little rude, but not as much as I would've liked to, if Jen wasn't sitting next to me.

"Well... No," Breadstick Girl admitted, taken slightly aback by the question.

"Then why are you working here?"

"Penni!" Jen exclaimed.

Breadstick Girl blinked, frozen, then began to laugh. "Well, aren't you the feisty little thing?"

I stuck my tongue out at her, unable to help myself, before I scooted down as far as I could in the high chair, folding my arms and sulking. Why was Jen the only person I could get angry dressed like this? Why did everyone else insist on calling me adorable and cute and laughing at me even when I tried to make them leave me alone so I could stew in my soggy pants alone?

"Don't mind her," Jen was saying. "She's a little cranky today."

"Really? Never would have guessed."

They shared a giggle before Jen lowered her voice slightly into a mock whisper I could still hear just fine. "I think she needs a change, and a nap."

"I do not!" I insisted.

"I'm sure you don't," Breadstick Girl claimed, but she didn't sound very convincing, even before I saw the wink she gave Jen as she walked away.

"I don't," I told Jen. Sure, it was a lie, and she probably knew it, but I needed to say it anyway, to prove her wrong. Even if she wasn't.

"All right, sweetie," Jen nodded. "Finish your lunch."

Chapter Fifteen

"I'm done," I announced, although I picked up another piece of my pizza and ate it before Jen could glance up from her newly-emptied plate at me, squirming in my squishy diaper unhappily. It was mostly true, anyway - I was a little hungry still, but not enough that I would rather finish than get changed.

"That's funny," Jen replied, the look on her face telling me it wasn't really, "It doesn't look that way to me."

I pouted at her, picked up another piece, stuffed it into my mouth, trying to act like it was more of a chore than it was. "There? That better?"

Jen leaned back in her chair, getting comfortable. "We're not leaving until you finish your lunch, young lady."

I opened my mouth to complain, or to at least tell her to change me first anyway, but the thought of admitting the state of my diaper out loud colored my cheeks red, and froze my words in my throat. So I choked them back down with my pizza, staring down at what was left on my plate. The number of pieces seemed to be growing as I sat there, making me worry I might never finish, and we'd be stuck in here forever.

"Here, let me get you a refill," Jen offered, grabbing my mostly empty cup from my tray as she stood, her own cup in her other hand.

"No, I'm fine," I said quickly, snatching it away from her before she could lift it up out of my reach. I wasn't really thirsty anymore, but mostly I didn't want to be drinking too much if we were going to be here until I finished off the ever-multiplying pizza. Jen shrugged, walked off somewhere behind me. If I could have, I would have tried to hide some of my pizza somewhere to shorten my sentence, but in the highchair, there wasn't really anything on hand, or within reach, to help me.

Nowhere to put my pizza except my plate and my tummy, I thought with a sigh, giving my surroundings another long examination, in the hope that something else would come to me, something that would save me from living out the rest of my childhood here with the evil Jen, and perhaps even more evil Breadstick Girl.

And, amazingly enough, something did. Smiling to myself at my sudden flash of brilliance, I took one last drink of my soda, until I could hear the straw sucking up just air, no matter which part of the cup I guided it into with my tongue, and snapped off the top. Nervously, I twisted around, making sure Jen was still at the drink machine, turned back to put my scheme into action.

My cup wasn't there. I noticed that, had enough time to wonder what had happened, before I saw Breadstick Girl standing beside me, her basket of breadsticks in one hand, my open cup in the other. "Awww, didn't you tell your big sister you were thirsty, honey?" she cooed. "Well, you just let me take care of that for you, okay?"

Before I could protest, she was gone, the smell of breadsticks wafting slowly away, only to be replaced by the sound of her and Jen's voices talking and giggling quietly behind me. I couldn't quite make out what they were saying, nor did I especially want to; if they were going to talk about me like I wasn't present, it was better for me to at least not be close enough to understand.

Moodily, I began to eat again, since there wasn't a lot else I could do. The cup had been my best, and only idea. Well, other than putting the pieces into the pockets of my shortalls, but I didn't want to get pizza sauce and cheese all over my new clothes, not even if it would get us out of here, and me out of my wet diaper, sooner.

Breadstick Girl and Jen obviously had a lot to talk about, although I couldn't imagine what, since they were gone for what seemed an awful long time, during which I managed to eat enough to fill any lingering pits of hunger in my tummy. And still, the plate looked just as full as before, probably more. I was beginning to wonder if this wasn't somehow another one of the moon's plots, to make me eat so much that I got too fat to fight him. It didn't seem very likely, though, if he and Jen really were working together, because what would Jen get out of it? Sure, I wouldn't be able to fight against her, either, but I already couldn't do that. And if I was fat, I'd just be harder for her to carry around.

Had the moon tricked her into doing this? Or maybe he hadn't told her about it at all, only suggested she take me to Fazoli's. But, if that were the case... Did that mean Breadstick Girl worked for him? I wouldn't doubt it. Her job was probably to keep Jen distracted, so she wouldn't notice the amount of food growing until it was too late, and all she could do was grieve over her mistake in forcing me to clean my plate.

"You should have told me your drink was empty, sweetie," Jen said, sliding back into her chair and setting my cup down on the tray. "I don't know everything."

"No kidding," I pouted, pushing my food around on my plate.

"What's that?" she asked, scooting forward in her chair.

"I'm full," I told her, instead of trying to explain the moon's plot, and having her laugh at me like she always did. "Can we go now?"

Jen shook her head. "I'm pretty sure I remember telling you to finish your food, so that's what you're going to do."

"But, Jen..." I complained.

"No, Penni," she interrupted, her voice telling me not to bother arguing with her, her mind was made up. "It's not going to hurt you to actually eat a decent amount for once. Besides, there isn't that much left."

I crossed my arms and sulked at her, doing my very best to seem as adamant in my decision not to eat as she was in hers. She shrugged, relaxed in her chair. "I have all day."

I'm not sure what made me do it - perhaps her insistence on treating me like a baby coupled with the fact that I was feeling quite a lot like one right then, or maybe she just made too good a target to resist as she lifted her cup to her lips. Maybe I was frustrated, and simply wanted to do something bad, since I was already being punished.

Whatever my reasoning, I felt rather proud of myself when I managed to actually hit the side of Jen's face with a piece of my pizza, giggled happily as she turned, a splotch of sauce dotting her cheek. She wasn't giggling, however, and she didn't seem particularly amused. "Penni..." she warned, glaring at me before bending over to pick up the pizza from the floor.

The second time was easier; I almost didn't realize I'd done it until I saw it bouncing off the top of her head. The third missed, landed right next to her hand.

"Penni!" she growled, lifting her head. "You'd better..."

I was still giggling, my hand picking up the next piece of ammunition, when Jen's hand clamped around my wrist, her eyes flaring.

"Penni, stop it right now," she seethed. I tried to take her seriously, I really did - I could see she was plenty mad already - but the sight of her standing there, sauce dribbling down her cheek, only made me giggle harder, until I felt her grip tighten.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, shocked out of my laughter. "Jen, that hurts!"

Her hand stayed there for a moment, then released quickly, like my skin had caught fire under her fingers. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said quickly, but I just pulled my hand away, rubbing my wrist and staring up at her, a little afraid. "Are you okay?" I didn't answer, so she took my arm, forcing it away from where I had it held against my body, felt my wrist gently. "You're fine," she proclaimed, sounding relieved as she kissed my hand.

We watched each other for a few minutes, neither sure of what the other would do. I could feel tears threatening, did my best to keep them inside. Jen looked like she wanted to do -something-, although I couldn't tell if that was hug me or spank me. In the end, she did neither, just sat down and dropped the pizza onto her plate, reaching for a napkin to clean herself up.

"I'm sorry, Penni," she spoke up after a minute. "I didn't..."

"That hurt," I reminded her, sniffling, maybe a little too dramatically.

"I know it did, baby." She stretched out her arm, trying to brush my wrist, but I pulled it away from her. It was her turn to look hurt, as if I had been the one who tried to break her wrist, although I got the feeling she wasn't particularly mad at me. "Are you all right?" she asked finally.

"I guess," I shrugged. I tried to wait before I continued, though I probably still spoke too soon. "Do I hafta finish my pizza?"

Jen smiled a little. "You have four more pieces, hon."

I started to protest that she obviously couldn't count, and it was more like a hundred; when I looked down, however, it turned out she was right. So, instead, I said, "If I eat any more, I'll explode!"

"You're almost done, sweetie. Don't you want to finish? You don't even have to eat the crust, okay? Just the last four pieces, and then we can go, okay?"

That was good news - it meant we wouldn't really be here forever, which would be as long as it would take me to voluntarily eat pizza crust. It was worse than bread crust, and that was pretty bad. I sighed anyway, hoping it would show Jen just how much I was suffering. She didn't seem to notice, so I forced myself to finish, glancing nervously down at my tummy between bites to make sure it wasn't bulging out like the moon wanted, or like it was starting to feel like it was.

"There's my good girl." Jen was smiling again as she wiped off my hands with another napkin, gave the edges of my mouth a couple rubs. "We'd better go get you changed before we head home."

My eyes shot upward, leaving the napkin hovering in front of my neck as I stared at Jen in amazement, my shock making me ask, "How did you know?" instead of denying it, although I did try that right afterwards, cheeks red.

"Sisters always know," she winked, reaching around me to do something to the tray. It clicked, slid forward easily, as if to mock the effort I'd put into trying to get it off earlier. Had I been right about the big sister sense after all? I was surprised Jen qualified for it, but it was probably something you just got without having to prove you were good at what you did. "Even Rose could tell."

"Who's Rose?" I asked, letting Jen untie the bib.

"She's the person who went around with breadsticks, remember? Didn't you read her nametag?" I shook my head, feeling a little embarrassed. Oh well - Breadstick Girl was a better name for her anyway.

Jen bent over suddenly; I wasn't sure what she was doing, so I undid the strap around my waist, finally freeing myself from the cursed high chair as I lifted the tray up, started to hop down, until I noticed just how far it was to the ground.

"Here you go, babe." Jen handed me the robot head, which I'd forgotten all about, gave the chair a suspicious look. "Aren't we the big girl?" she asked snootily, almost sounding offended. "Guess you don't need my help after all."

If I didn't need her to lift me down so I wouldn't fall and break my legs or something, I would have said, "No, I don't." Instead, I blushed, staring down at my feet. "Sorry, Jen," I said quietly, watching my feet swing back and forth slowly beneath me, realizing then how heavy my eyelids were feeling as I saw my shoes moving back and forth, like a pendulum.

She smiled, picked me up, resting me on her arm as she picked up the diaper bag. "Just don't let it happen again," she warned.

Even though the boy and his mommy were still there, I didn't try to get Jen to put me down. I just leaned against her, idly opening and closing the robot's mouth, not feeling like doing much of anything, much less walking. Had the moon's plan worked after all? Even though I felt like I'd gained about fifty pounds, I was pretty sure I hadn't really, since that would have more than doubled my weight, and I didn't think I looked any bigger.

I started fidgeting again when Jen set me down in the bathroom stall, opening the diaper bag to pull out the big plastic pad, unfurling it over the changing station before lifting me up onto it. "What's wrong with you?" Jen teased, tickling my tummy. "Got ants in your pants?"

"Don't do that," I groaned, pouting.

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen - excuse me, drama -princess-." Jen smirked, apparently proud of herself for being able to read the front of my shortalls. "You know, if you're going to squirm around like that..." She grinned, reaching across me, grabbing ahold of a strap, started to pull it over my body.

"And if you even try to call the police, I'll know," Robber-Nadine told me, grinning her best evil grin, which was really quite good. That was why she always got to be the robber, and I got stuck being the person at the bank. She looped the rope around me and the chair again, then stayed behind me for a minute, tying a knot.

"You won't get away with this!" I said bravely, but not too much. "Crime will never pay, you'll see!" And she would, too, as soon as she started to escape, and I could transform into my superhero self to chase after her.

"We'll see!" she cackled with a final tug on my ropes before dashing away, down the ladder.

"Evildoers, beware!" I exclaimed, standing up, my super strength breaking through the rope, freeing me to go dole out justice. Except, this time, it didn't. I tried to stand, but the rope around my legs didn't fall off, like it had last time we'd played. The rope around my chest didn't either. I struggled against it experimentally.

"Nadine?" I called, annoyed. How was I supposed to catch her if she actually tied me up? That wasn't how the game was played! There was no answer. "Nadine?"

The silence was deafening, so that even the whisper my voice had turned into sounded like thunder bouncing around the empty walls of the barn. "Nadine?" I asked again, tears starting to stream down my cheeks. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, waiting to see her blond head popping back up the ladder to laugh at me. It never came.

"NADINE!" I screamed, struggling against the ropes frantically, thrashing every which way. "NADINE!"

The chair fell over at some point, slamming the side of my body against the dusty floor of the barn, and by the sunlight streaming in through the window, I watched my tears falling down onto the floor, sinking into the wood for what seemed like eternity.

When I had calmed down a little, actually tried looking for the knots themselves, I realized Nadine hadn't tied them very well after all, although I was pretty sure all my struggling hadn't made them any easy to get loose. Still, by the time I was free, it was past lunchtime, and my tummy was growling, and I had started crying again, wondering if I was going to starve to death up there.

That hadn't even been the worst part. That came later, when nobody would believe me about what happened, when Caileigh had gotten so upset at what I'd accused her little sister of that she had stormed off, Nadine following in her wake, smirking, and hadn't talked to me for almost a week. Even though she brought my cookies to make up to me afterwards, I still felt awful.

But not nearly as awful as I felt when I saw that strap moving across my body, clicking into place, tying me down so I couldn't get away, trapping me on the changing table, helpless, the memory of those ropes around my legs, across my chest, of lying on my side and crying almost a year ago springing fresh to my mind.

"Penni, calm down!" Jen tried to soothe me. Only then did I realize I was screaming her name, as I had Nadine's, and how loud I was doing it. "Penni, it's okay, you're not strapped down, see? You're okay."

I sat up a little, my vision blurry with tears, but still good enough to see she was telling the truth. I let my head fall back onto the changing table, still sniffling softly, shaking a little.

Jen stroked my hair gently for a few minutes, until I stopped crying. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I forgot." And she stood there for a while longer, running her hand over my hair, as if she were waiting for something to happen, or me to say something. "I'm not doing a very good job at this, am I?" she asked at last, shaking her head before I could tell if I had seen a tear in her eye, or if I'd been imagining it.

Then she noticed me starting to squirm again, trying to move my bottom away from the cold, soggy padding around it. "Oh! We'd better get you changed, huh? You're going to get a rash if I take much longer, huh?"

She got out her baby wipes, and the baby powder, unfolded a new diaper and laid it next to me. I started to be helpful by trying to take off the first shoulder strap of the shortalls, only to see her take the inside of the legs in her hands, start opening the snaps.

My face burned scarlet as I saw this, saw her fold back the legs to get to my diaper. So that was why Jen had been joking about me wearing them for Daddy! Or, at least I hoped she was joking now. I couldn't believe I had been walking around in them all this time, thinking nothing of it, while they sat there, openly advertising my diapered status to anyone who looked. As if the bulge around my bottom wasn't already... But still...

"There you go." Jen fastened the second tab of the diaper, sealing me inside, before patting the front of it, bringing me out of my attempt to catch up with all the embarrassment I should have faced as I walked out of Wal-Mart, letting everyone see how much of a baby I was.

She snapped the legs back together, although she might as well have left my diaper clearly visible. What difference did it make? I wondered gloomily.

I didn't suggest that to her, of course, fully expecting that, if I did, she'd take me up on the offer. Instead, I let myself be picked up, kissed on the forehead, carried out to the car. The sun was beaming down much harder now; as soon as we stepped outside, I could feel myself growing drowsy, all my worries and humiliations slipping away, as if the sun were burning them out of my mind. I'm not sure if Jen had even unlocked the doors before I fell asleep, warm and full, and exhausted.

I woke up in my bed, dressed once again in my second favorite pair of jeans and the kitty T-shirt I'd been in earlier, though thankfully not the diaper I'd had under them, as if the whole day had been some kind of twisted nightmare. I sat up, a little disoriented, trying to sort out my memories from my dreams. Finally, I just decided that it probably had been, and sleepily ran off to the kitchen to see if mommy wanted any help making dinner.

It wasn't until the next day, after saying goodbye to mommy and daddy and flopping out onto my stomach on my bed to start re-reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, hoping to finish the first chapter or two here before taking it to the barn, that I heard my door open behind me, craned my neck around to see what was going on, and saw Jen standing at the foot of my bed, a smile on her face and my diaper bag in her hands. And it was then I realized that, unfortunately, it hadn't been a dream after all.

Elizabeth

Chapter Sixteen

It was going to be another hot day - I could tell already. I could feel it in my bones, or something, although the forecast on the weather the night before had helped a little, too. The sun was shining brightly on the world outside my window, but without the rain from the day before, it looked harsh and horrid, like a desert I'd seen on television once. I could almost see the grass in our yard shriveling up, all brown and crunchy underfoot, a bit like the floor of the woods behind the barn was in the fall.

Except not nearly as fun. Or as scary, though the two might have been related. The woods were always at least a little scary, looming there, full of all sorts of monsters just waiting for unwary little girls to wander too close. Fortunately for me, they all took fall off, which was nice, because then I could wander through the forest - as long as I didn't go too far and get lost, like I had once - kicking up leaves and climbing on fallen trees and having a good time.

Still, even though I was pretty sure they wouldn't hurt me then, I could always feel the monsters' eyes on me as I walked through, staring at me from wherever it was they were hiding. Sometimes I would make up songs about the leaves I was walking through, to show them I wasn't afraid of them, but Nadine made fun of my voice when I did that, so I didn't do it too often.

And not all the monsters were asleep. Just the year before, I'd been out adventuring with Nadine, pretending we were searching for an ancient, hidden city out in the woods, when I'd almost stepped on a big snake. Nadine claimed she'd seen it before I did, and just wanted to see if I was dumb enough to walk into it, and maybe get eaten by it, since it was pretty big, but I think she was just as surprised as I was when it went slithering away almost right past her.

I probably shouldn't have told mommy about that. Even though daddy said that, since the snake was black, it wouldn't have hurt me, mommy told me I wasn't allowed out in the woods without Jen, or Caileigh, although she hadn't been very happy with me then either for some reason. Not that it mattered, because they were both supposedly too busy to take me, so Nadine and I slipped off a couple more times, without anyone the wiser. Of course, mommy had never been happy with me going to the woods with just Nadine, so I think she was just happy to have a semi-valid reason to forbid it.

But, whether or not mommy still remembered that rule for this year, fall was still months, nearly forever, away. I had almost considered not going to the barn that day, having the feeling that it would be more comfortable laying about the house, where at least there was air conditioning. It just seemed like one of those days that should be spent doing as little as possible, and I was willing to comply, if it was really as hot as I imagined it to be outside. After all, if you got too hot, you could catch on fire - I'd seen that on TV once, too. And it definitely didn't look fun.

That was all before I turned and saw Jen standing beside my bed, setting down the full diaper bag at the head of my bed, starting to unzip it. I considered protesting, but I remembered all the good that had done me the day before, even if I had been hoping it was a dream, so I just put my book down and collapsed out flat on my bed with a sigh.

"Aww, poor baby," Jen teased, then handed me something large and green - my stuffed dragon, Mrs. Ellenstofalix. I glared up at Jen, but took my dragon anyway, hugging her to my chest as Jen spread out the changing pad on the bed beside me and rolled me over onto it, the plastic crinkling below me, like my diaper would be in just a few minutes.

Jen reached for the waistband of my shorts, but even before she had reached it, I had gotten my fill of babying for the day. "Do I hafta wear them again?" I pouted, staring up at her with wide eyes. "I thought you said it wouldn't be all the time!"

"This isn't all the time," Jen said, although her hand didn't move any closer to me. "Besides, I thought we were going to paint your fingernails today after we got you all nice and diapered up."

Oh yeah. I had forgotten about that, probably since I didn't think I had qualified as enough of a 'good girl' the day before. I started to chew on my fingernail, the one on my pinkie, trying to decide if it would be worth it to get to wear nail polish, only to have Jen slap at my hand.

"Though if you keep doing that, you shouldn't expect me to offer again anytime soon."

"Maybe I don't wanna get my nails painted anyway," I huffed at her, glaring.

She shrugged. "Well, that's your choice, sweetie." Then she smiled, yanked my shorts down around my ankles. "But you're wearing diapers either way."

"No fair!" I cried as she snapped open a diaper and slipped it under my bottom.

"Life rarely is, babe." Jen bent over to kiss my forehead, gave my tummy a quick tickle as she straightened up to pour what seemed like half the bottle of baby powder on me. I couldn't think of anything to say to that, so I just continued to sulk and hug Mrs. Ellenstofalix while she finished diapering me, taping it shut tightly, as if to remind me I couldn't escape. She slipped my shorts and panties off of my ankles, took away my panties, tugged the shorts back up around the diaper after I pouted at her when she acted like she wasn't going to.

"Now, isn't that better?" she grinned, lifting me down to the floor and mussing up my hair, giggling as I tried to fix it one-handed, attempting to come up with something that expressed my feelings better than the simple "No," I ended up using. "Well, I think it is," Jen shrugged, not appearing too upset to hear I didn't agree; guess it wasn't much of a surprise. "So, what do you want to do today? I thought we were going to paint some little girl's fingernails, but apparently she doesn't want me to anymore, so I guess we'll have to figure out something else to pass our time."

"Yes I do!" I exclaimed urgently, pouting for added emphasis. "Please? I promise I'll try not to bite my nails!" I was already in diapers, I might as well get some good out of this.

"Are you sure?" Jen asked. "You sounded pretty serious earlier..."

"Please?" I repeated, eyes wide and sweet and innocent.

"Well, if you insist," she gave in, smiling. "Let's go see what I have, okay?"

"Okay!" I nodded, racing to her room and scrambling up onto the chair at her desk, so I could see all the little bottles of nail polish she already had lined up there. She had all kinds of colors, more than I would have imagined. I almost felt mad at her for having so many, and not sharing even one in so long, but at least she was now. That was something, anyway. I barely realized I was still holding Mrs. Ellenstofalix as I gazed over them, though when I did notice her, I positioned her on my lap so she could look, too.

"What about this?" I asked, picking up a bottle, light green, almost the right color to match Mrs. Ellenstofalix's scales. Or fur, rather. I'd always thought dragons were supposed to be all scaly, like the snake I'd seen, until I met her, and saw she was all fuzzy. And warm, and comfy to cuddle up with, even with her hard, plastic eyes.

Jen gazed doubtfully from the polish to me. "I... guess. I don't think it's quite your color, though. Don't you think pink would be cuter?"

"I don't care, 'cause I want green," I told her with a authoritative nod.

"All right," Jen shrugged, kneeling down in front of me and taking the nail polish. Instead of opening it, however, she set it down on the floor beside her, and all of the sudden reached up to the soles of my feet and started tickling.

I immediately squealed, probably a lot louder then I realized, and dissolved into giggles, trying to pull my feet up under myself in the chair, which turned out to be a lot harder than I'd anticipated while laughing so hard. Luckily, Jen went easy on me that time, was satisfied after a minute or two, although it felt like much longer. I almost expected her to keep going until I wet myself, which, even without a too pressing need to go before she started, still likely wouldn't have taken long when it was my feet being tickled.

"That's not fair," I panted, too busy trying to catch my breath again to pout at her as I wanted to. "You're mean."

"I know," Jen smiled softly, reaching up to stroke my hair. "Tell you what - I'll paint your toenails, too, to make up for it, all right?"

"Okay!" I bounced up and down happily, my lack of air forgotten in the excitement. I'd never, ever had my toenails painted, not even when I was a baby! Or, if I had, Jen hadn't told me about it.

Jen laughed, scooting the chair a little further away from the desk and shaking up the bottle. "You're going to have to sit still, though, hon, or I'll end up painting your whole foot."

So, I did my best, forcing my legs not to keep swinging, as they always seemed to do automatically whenever I sat in a chair. I even managed to keep my hands from fidgeting too much, even after Jen took Mrs. Ellenstofalix away, setting her on the desk so she wouldn't get any nail polish on her. Although Jen seemed to be painting each nail pretty fast - a lot faster than I remembered being able to do myself, and doing a much better job than me, hardly getting any on my fingers themselves - the whole thing took forever, and I thought I just might explode from sitting so still so long, even if I had been squirming a little bit. Jen didn't seem to mind to much, a smile smiling touching the corners of her mouth every time she heard my diaper crinkling under my shorts.

"Finally!" I cried with a long-suffering sigh as she finished up my last nail and began to put the lid back on the polish. I started to hop down from the chair, only to be caught before I hit the floor, set back down.

"You're not going anywhere, babe. That has to dry first."

My mouth dropped open as I stared at her, searching her expression for any sign she could be teasing. I didn't remember this taking soooo long. How had I stood it? "How long?" I asked finally, resigned to my fate.

"I'm not sure," she shrugged nonchalantly, like it was no big deal. "I'll let you know when it's done." Then she got up, started to walk out of her room.

"Jen! Where are you going?"

She turned, looking amused. "I'm just going to go vacuum the living room, sweetie. It'll just take a minute."

I sighed, watched her leave, and started to swing my legs again, glad at least to not have to worry about hitting Jen with them. My eyes drifted downward, following my feet as they moved back and forth, back and forth, the most interesting thing in the room. Or at least the most interesting thing I could get to, marooned here on this chair. I couldn't even reach Mrs. Ellenstofalix, even if I would have wanted to risk getting her fur all messed up. The desk seemed so far away now, like an island out in the middle of the sea I was drifting away from on my raft.

"How could you do this to me?" I pleaded to Mrs. Ellenstofalix, as she waved to me from the shore, her tiny wings fluttering softly in the light sea breeze.

"It's every girl for herself, Penni," she apologized with a shrug of her shoulders. "There's only enough food here for one of us!"

"Only because you eat too much," I mumbled sulkily, starting to cross my arms before I remembered the wet paint there. If she just ate less, her wings would probably even work, and then she could have flown us out of there, like any good dragon would have.

"Just look on the bright side," she called. "Maybe you'll run into land before you starve!"

Suddenly there was a sound that could almost have been a vacuum cleaner, but not quite, because it was obviously the sound of sharks circling underneath me. "Mrs. Ellenstofalix!" I shouted, scooting back a little and pulling my legs up onto the raft.

"I'm sure they're friendly," she assured me, not sounding very certain. "I've heard that only freshwater sharks like to eat dragons."

"Well, that would be good news if I were a dragon," I pouted.

"It's hardly my fault you aren't," she shook her head. "No need to get mad at me."

"I'm only mad at you 'cause you're the worst dragon ever!" I told her, sticking out my tongue at her horrified expression.

"How dare you?" She ruffled up her fur, offended. "I hope those sharks -do- eat you! And I bet they will, because I've also heard that nasty little girl is their very favorite food!"

"You're making that up!" I tried to pull my feet closer to my bottom anyway, making sure none of my toes were hanging over the edge, where they could be snapped off by passing sharks. Luckily, as quickly as they had appeared, they vanished without a trace, leaving the sea silent for a minute.

"Penni, who -are- you talking to?" Jen asked, striding across the water calmly.

"Nobody," I blushed, returning to her room. "Can I get off the chair yet?"

Jen bent closer to me, glancing at my nails. "I don't know, babe."

"But Jen..." I whined. "They look dry..." I started to test the paint with the tip of a finger, but Jen snatched my arm gently and pulled it away.

"You'll mess it up," she warned.

"How will I know when they're dry?"

Jen tapped a finger on her lips thoughtfully for a moment before answering. "When your diaper is wet, I bet your nails will be dry."

My eyes narrowed and I hopped down from the chair, smelling a scam, and knowing I had been right when Jen broke and started to giggle. "You're mean," I reminded her, retrieving Mrs. Ellenstofalix from the desk, even if she was mean too, since she wasn't bad enough to deserve being stuck in here with Jen.

I didn't realize just how mean she was until I had returned to my room, tossing my dragon onto my bed, and looked down at my shorts thoughtfully. I wanted to go over to the barn, but if Nadine was there, I didn't want my shorts to look too puffy, and the bulge under these was a little too noticeable for me. As I dug through my drawer, I found my jeans from the day before, right on top, where I'd put them after changing into my pajamas.

I don't know what came over me - suspicion, I suppose, though maybe just plain curiosity - that made me decide to try them on, but something did, and I found myself kicking my shorts off onto my bed, not quite managing to land them on Mrs. Ellenstofalix's head, so I could pull them up, getting a sad little thrill to be dressing myself, after spending all of the day before being dressed up.

The diaper did make it a little difficult to tug them up around my bottom, and I almost let it go at that, a little embarrassed to have thought Jen might have been lying, but curiosity kicked in, and I began to zip them up, little by little, until the zipper was all the way up, with a lot less effort than I'd been expecting. The snap clicked shut with no problem, and there I stood, wearing the pants Jen had claimed wouldn't fit with my diaper on.

How could I have been so dumb? I berated myself as I took the jeans back off, not sure whether to be more angry at Jen or myself. Jen was pretty far ahead, since she had, after all, made me walk through Wal-Mart in just a T-shirt and diaper, but really, I should have known better than to trust her about something like that.

I was still seething when I walked back out of my room, stomping down the hall in my flip-flops, wearing the same shorts as before, having mostly forgotten about my original mission. Jen was in he living room, flipping through a magazine, so I paused in my tracks to say, "You're awful!" before continuing towards the back door.

"Ooo..kay..." Jen sounded confused - as if she didn't know what she'd done! - but that cleared up by the time her voice rang out again, right as my hand brushed against the doorknob. "Where are you going, sweetie?"

"I'm going to the barn!" I shouted, starting to open the door.

"No, you're not." I turned, saw her standing behind me now.

"Why not?" I stomped angrily, a pout settling across my face.

"You're not going until I change your diaper."

"What?! I'm not even wet!"

She smiled. "Yes, I know. I don't want you going over there until you have, or else you'll be sitting up there in wet pants until lunch time."

I stared at her for long enough to know she wasn't joking, not caring that I could tell I was going to have to pee soon anyway, and I would probably be more comfortable if I wasn't over in the barn, so far away from my dry diapers, when it happened. "Fine!" I shouted, storming back through the house, ignoring Jen telling me not to stomp, slamming my bedroom door and jumping onto my bed stomach first to mope.

I landed on my book, which I had forgotten all about. I was almost glad I was stuck in the house a little longer now, so that I could take something to read with me to the barn, even if it had hurt my chest a little. At least my, "Ow!" covered up part of Jen's "And don't slam your door either, young lady!"

Who had given her the right to run my life? I sulked, pulling the book out from under me and staring at the picture of Alice on the cover. If only there really was some way to go through the mirror, I thought to myself. So far, there hadn't been, at least not with any of the ones in our house. Maybe the Jen there was actually nice, and wouldn't make me wear diapers ever, and would make me cookies whenever I asked for them.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of what my mirror world would be like, hugging the book to my chest.

"I bet I'd have a decent dragon, who wouldn't send me off on some stupid raft," I told Mrs. Ellenstofalix, kicking at her and hitting thin air, too far away for my toes to reach her. "And if the Jen there wasn't nicer to me, I could feed her to it."

Chapter Seventeen

As I rolled over onto my back, book still in my arms, I began to wonder if maybe I was wrong, and had been all along. Maybe I had made it to the other side of the looking glass after all, and just never realized. Maybe I'd found my way through when I was just a little baby, and was so used to it by now that I had started taking everything for granted, until I got old enough to start noticing.

After all, dragons -were- supposed to have scales, and Mrs. Ellenstofalix didn't. But it might not be her fault; the dragon on the "real" side probably did, so how could she? "Sorry," I apologized bashfully. "It's not your fault your a bad dragon, and I'm glad I didn't kick you after all." Even if the only thing that had stopped me was the shortness of my legs.

And here I was, a seven year old girl, in diapers, trying to decide whether to try to keep from wetting them as long as I could, out of principle, or to get it over with and get changed so I could go to the barn. That sort of thing wouldn't happen in the real world! I had to be on the other side - it was the only explanation!

I bet I really was the big sister, since I would, of course, be much better at it than Jen. I giggled at the thought of Jen as a baby, toddling around behind me in her diapers, making baby noises and smiling up at her big sister.

But... If I was in the mirror world, and the other me was in the real world... Which one of us was the real hero? And which world was she supposed to be on? What if I hadn't found my way across on my own; what if the moon had pushed me through, or used one of his minions to, so I couldn't stop him, wouldn't have any chance to stop him? And now he was just being mean to me to gloat over his victory?

Except, if I was so bad at being the hero anyway, did that mean the mirror-me was actually good at it? Had the moon bitten off more than he could chew when he replaced me? Maybe in those dreams I had, I was really her, seeing through her eyes as she actually made some sort of progress towards saving the stars, while I sat here and let myself get talked into being a baby for the sister I should have been older than... After all, the me in my dreams had always been a lot better at most things than I ever was.

I shook my head, which was starting to hurt, trying to get my brain to shut up for a minute. After all, what did it matter if all this was true anyway? If it was, going home would be pointless - the other me was doing more than I could ever hope to. It was better for me to stay here, for her sake, and the sake of the stars, even if it meant doing some things I didn't like.

Things, I thought, wrinkling my nose, like this. I sat up with a sigh, and closed my eyes, trying to imagine I was sitting on a toilet, and not my bed, and that the thickness around my bottom wasn't there. If I didn't have a choice about this, I might as well get it over with before my bladder started hurting. In a weird way, it was a little more dignified to wet my pants on purpose, rather than waiting and having an accident, since one would be inevitable if I didn't.

It took a minute - those were some pretty difficult things to imagine, even for me, especially with the memory of the day before still on my mind - but before too long, I could feel the seat of my diaper growing warmer, and the warm spot growing larger as my bladder realized it was all right to just let go, like the warmth was spreading across my face while I tried to convince myself this was for the best.

My bottom began to cool off, but my face didn't as I stared down at my feet, my pretty toes staring up at me through my flip-flops, as I waited for Jen to emerge and change me. Apparently, she didn't "always know", however, since she never showed up, and I had to eventually venture out of my room and into the living room, where Jen was still looking at the magazine, not noticing my arrival.

I stood beside the couch for a few minutes, still staring down at me feet, trying to work up the courage to open my mouth and admit what I'd done. Luckily for me, she was almost done with the magazine by then, and when she set it down, she saw me standing there, face still red and tilted towards my nervously fidgeting feet. Her big sister sense was at least powerful enough to pick up on the wet diaper hidden beneath my shorts then.

She smiled. "Go wait in your room, sweetie, I'll be there in a minute."

I nodded shyly, retreated, sitting gingerly on the edge of my bed, until Jen came in, carrying not only my diaper bag, but some new - though only to me, since the still mostly dusty appearance it had identified it as likely another artifact from the attic - thing, a big tan cylinder looking thing that she set down next to my bed. I glanced at it nervously, trying to figure out what this new contraption could possibly be for.

"It's not going to hurt you," Jen laughed at my worried expression. "It's a diaper genie."

"It doesn't look like a genie," I said doubtfully. Weren't they supposed to be blue and floaty, and funny, with gold bracelets? It didn't even look like a lamp.

Jen shook her head, still laughing. "It's not a real genie, Penni. That's just what it's called."

"If you say so," I narrowed my eyes skeptically. If it was a -diaper- genie, did that mean Jen could wish for me to turn back into a baby for real with it? But if she could, why hadn't she done that before taking me out the day before? I was probably a lot more compliant to her evil demands when I was littler, and had even less of a chance of resisting.

"I do," she smiled. "Now lay back." I did, found myself on the changing pad again, not even having realized she'd gotten it out yet. She scooted me back on it a little, so that my bottom and most of my legs were on the pad, then started to change me, giving my tummy a little tickle as she lifted my shirt. Once she had gotten my old diaper off, however, she paused for a moment. "Do you want to see how it works?" she asked.

"Huh?" I blinked, having lost myself again in my thoughts about the real world, where I would be doing this for Jen, and not the other way around.

"The genie, hon." I blinked again, so she rolled her eyes and showed me anyway, lifting up the top and putting the diaper inside, then closing it and twisting the top, in what I guess was supposed to pass for a rub.

I wrinkled my nose, stomach churning a little. "It eats diapers?" When Jen answered with only a sigh, I went on, the ickiness of that thought replaced with a more happy one. "Does this mean we get a wish now?"

"Penni! It's not a real genie, remember?" Jen was starting to sound a little exasperated, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh, too.

"Then why's it called that?" Jen shrugged. "And how come you said you were going to show me how it worked? It didn't do anything! That's boring."

"Why, oh why, didn't I buy a pacifier?" Jen lamented, dodging my indignant kick with a giggle. "Some things just have weird names, Penni, that's all."

"Well, that's stupid," I sulked, letting Jen lift up my bottom to slide my new diaper underneath and start pouring baby powder like there was no tomorrow. "I don't need that much powder," I told her with a pout. "I'm gonna smell like a baby all day."

"That's a bad thing how?" Jen smiled, ignoring my tongue as I stuck it out. "And yes, you do, babe. It's really hot outside."

"So?" That was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard, I was rather sure. What did it being hot have to do with baby powder?

"Look, just trust me, okay?" she said, apparently unaware how difficult it was to trust someone who was forcing you to wear diapers. "There, all dry!"

"Took you long enough," I complained, pulling up my own shorts for once.

"Well, aren't we Little Miss Crankypants today?" Jen teased. "Maybe you should forget about the barn and just take your nap now."

"I don't need a nap!" I insisted, offended. Just how much of a baby did she think I was?

"Really?" Jen raised an eyebrow. "I seem to remember you taking one yesterday without me even suggesting it. And you didn't seem to mind the one the day before that too much, either, once you were done whining about it."

"I didn't whine!" I pouted, wishing I could remember whether I actually had or not. It was true that those naps had been kind of nice... "And I'm not tired today, so there!" I hopped off of my bed, picking up my book and heading for the door before Jen could do anything else. I wasn't quite fast enough.

"Wait a second," she said, freezing me inches from the doorway. "I think you're forgetting something."

I turned, wracking my brain, just in case this wasn't some kind of a trick. "No, I didn't," I replied, fairly certain of myself, though there was still a bit of doubt lingering in my voice.

Jen smiled, opening her arms for some reason. "Don't you think you should thank me for being so nice as to change your diaper for you?"

I glared at her, but, pretty sure she was serious, I walked back over to her and climbed up into her lap, giving her a quick, insincere kiss on the cheek. "Thanks," I muttered, wanting nothing more than to get this over with so I could run out of the house, and get away from her.

"No problem, baby," she cooed, capturing me in a big hug that pressed the book uncomfortably against my chest again, until either I managed to squirm enough to make her let me go, or she got bored and loosened her arms on her own, using them then to lower me to the floor and send me on my way with a pat on my diaper. "Have fun!" she called, but I was already halfway to the back door.

Once I was outside, however, I slowed down, the heat smacking into me like a brick wall, possibly even worse than I'd imagined earlier. If Jen hadn't been inside, probably waiting to spring some new, unthinkable torture on me, I would have turned around right then. She was, so I decided to risk catching on fire, wondering if maybe Jen wasn't so stupid, and maybe the baby powder would help prevent that somehow, and began to cross the yard, stopping off at the swing set and sinking down onto my swing with a crinkle, resting my book on my lap, and staring at Caileigh and Nadine's house, hoping for some glimpse of people lurking inside.

After a minute or two with nothing, I let my eyes drift downwards, to watch the sand slowly moving back and forth under my feet. I started to twist the swing around, letting it go so it would spin me around, making the sand swirl like a whirlwind. I giggled happily, until my tummy started to grow a little queasy from all the spinning, and I went back to normal swinging, eyes lifting tentatively to the still house beside mine.

Was she there? I wondered nervously, stomach starting to jump again. Nadine didn't really like the barn much anymore, but she always managed to pick the worst possible time to show up there. And of all the worst times, I knew, this was the biggest.

I let my eyes fall to my lap, where I was sure I could see the bulge under my shorts growing with every second that passed by, until I had to let go of the chains on the swing to grab my book so it wouldn't slide right off. How could Nadine miss that? I wanted to go back into the house, to change my shorts like I had been meaning to before; what did it matter, though? I didn't think I had any shorts that this diaper wouldn't be obvious in, as huge as it had gotten in my mind.

The sun beat down on my head, making me long for the shade of the barn. Stupid sun, not even realizing that his stupid tests weren't doing any good, since I wasn't even in the right world anymore. Why wouldn't he, or the moon, for that matter, leave me alone?!

But it was just another thing I had to suffer, I supposed, so that the mirror-me would have an easier time. It hardly seemed fair, since she was obviously better at all this, and could have handled it much easier than me. As Jen had told me earlier, though, in one of her rare moments of wisdom, life rarely was. Or it hadn't been so far, at any rate.

I jumped down from the swing with a sigh, deciding to risk the barn. I did my best to sneak past the back door of Caileigh and Nadine's house, afraid that they could burst out at any moment and find me there, eventually breaking into a run when I thought I heard the door opening. Luckily for me, since I ended up tripping over my flip-flop somehow and landing flat on my face in the grass, I had just imagined it, so I scrambled to my feet with a blush and hurried towards the path to the barn.

I slowed down again once I was sure I'd be pretty hard to see from the house, no matter how big my bottom had gotten, and let myself wander off the path, feeling the grass of the field brush against my ankles. I smiled at the feeling, giggling at its ticklish tips running across my skin, and bent down to take off my flip-flops, lowering my feet directly onto the ground, feeling them sink a little, the rain of a couple days before still softening up the soil a little bit.

Mommy wouldn't be happy if she saw me, I knew, walking across the field with my shoes in my hands, instead of on my feet. She didn't like me going anywhere barefoot, even when it was so hot out. She was just weird that way, I decided, sinking my toes into the dirt. It wasn't as much fun as it would have been yesterday, or even the day before, if it hadn't been raining so hard, but it was still a nice, if slightly icky - though that just added to it, really - feeling.

Of course, carrying my flip-flops got boring after a few minutes, and worried that they might touch my book, since they were a little muddy, too, so I put them back on, just barely, enough so that I could try to launch them off with a kick, throwing them ahead of me so that I could race after them and try again. The first time was pretty disappointing, though at first I thought it had been good, sailing way up in the air, but when it fell to the ground, I saw that it had only landed about a foot away.

After that, I got better, mostly. Every once in a while, there was one that would fly up instead of forward, and there was even one that I had to squeak and jump out of the way of, sure it was about to land on my head, although it ended up a few inches off. Those weren't too frequent, however, and I was starting to get pretty good at it again, maybe even better than I'd been last year, when I'd almost even beat Nadine at it before she deemed the whole thing "stupid", by the time my winding path led me at last to the barn.

The door was closed, though that didn't mean anything, since we both tended to shut it behind us when we went inside, to keep out any curious monsters bold enough to venture out of the woods. Or that was my reason, anyway - I'm not sure why she did, even when she knew I was right behind her. I guess she liked to listen to me struggling to pull the massive door open far enough to squeeze inside. It didn't need to be open too far, but even that was difficult enough, since the door was at least a thousand times bigger than me. By my calculations, anyway.

There was another door around the back of the barn that was more my size, one that used to let the sheep who once lived there out into their pasture when their owners wanted them to be there. It was kind of hard to open to, but not nearly as much so. Unfortunately, it still led into the pen the sheep had lived in the rest of the time, the sides of which were too tall for me to climb over without somebody to help me, the gate, even taller than the sides, still firmly chained shut. I had seen Caileigh open it once, from the other side, and it seemed easy enough, but I couldn't reach the chain from the inside of the pen without going up on my tip toes, and even then I had a hard time staying there, and keeping a hold of the chain long enough to even find the part that snapped open, much less slip it off of the link it was fastened around.

So I slipped my feet back into my flip-flops and grabbed the handle of the big door, grunting and groaning as I slowly forced it to move. For a few moments, I thought it was stuck, and then, finally, it began to open. I slipped inside and pushed it closed again, for once glad of my scrawny body - at least I didn't need the door to open too far.

I stared up the ladder, holding my breath so as not to make too much more noise than I already had, waiting to see if I caught any flashes of movement, not that the lack of them proved anything other than Nadine wasn't in the tiny part of the loft I could actually see. We didn't even usually play in that part anyway, since, beside the ladder, there was a big open space with no floor, and nothing under it but a pile of hay and, a few inches away, the door.

I waited what seemed an eternity before stepping up onto the ladder, forcing myself to move higher and higher, since, on every rung, I considered going back down and playing in the field some more. It wasn't a bad idea, I told myself, even if you won't get any reading done.

But I kept going, hoping, even praying softly, as I kept pulling myself higher, higher, until I wondered if the barn had somehow gotten taller since I'd gotten inside, stretching up into the clouds now, birds zooming past the windows, and airplanes doing their best to fly around us, all their happy passengers waving as they went by.

And then I heard her, and my heart, and stomach, fell down somewhere past my feet, bouncing off of the ladder's rungs, probably landing in the hay somewhere, since I didn't hear them land.

"This is my stronghold," she stated, sticking out her tongue at me as she stepped right in front of the top of the ladder, crossing her arms. "You can't come up here."

Elizabeth

Chapter Eighteen

I almost gave up then, told her "Okay," went back outside. There was no reason to deal with her now - it would only end badly, I knew - not when I could just as easily escape, and have at least a little while to formulate some sort of plan.

Then she bent down, snatched my book roughly away from me, almost making me lose my balance, so that I had to grab the floor beside the ladder with one hand, although it probably would have been a better idea to just wrap my hand around the rung again and hang on. The floor was bigger, though, and surely more stable. Except it was a little too big to get my hand around.

"You're reading -this- again?" she sneered, taking a step or two back while she flipped through the book. I started to climb up into the loft, only to have her stomp at my fingers, forcing me to retreat.

"Stop it!" I pleaded. "You're gonna make me fall!"

Nadine shrugged. "It's not that far."

"Nadine, please?" I made my eyes go all wide and stuck out my bottom lip, even though I knew she was immune to that pretty much all the time, unlike Jen, who sometimes gave in to it.

"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "But I'm keeping the book."

She moved back another step, giving me just enough space to get off of the ladder finally, crawling up onto the plywood covered floor. I snatched at my book, thinking she might not expect me to scramble up onto my feet so quickly; neither had I, and I found half of my right foot standing on thin air, forcing me to abandon my rescue effort, instead swinging my arms wildly to avoid falling down to the floor so far below.

Nadine glanced up from the book, looking amused, though her expression soon turned curious, and I saw her nose twitching. My cheeks began to burn as I darted around her, reached out for my book, just barely managing to get a hold as she attempted to whisk it out of my reach. I felt it slipping past my fingers, brought up my other hand to help out, yanked with all my strength.

It came loose, easier than I'd expected, as if she'd let me have it, and I stumbled back a few steps, my feet getting tangled up in my flip-flops and dumping me straight down to the floor on my padded bottom with a loud crinkle I was sure Nadine had heard. I looked up at her nervously, trying to scoot backwards away from her, hoping she wouldn't realize what the sound was.

"I just wanna read," I told her. "You don't hafta play with me or anything."

But she came over closer to me anyway, starting to circle me like a shark, sniffing. "Why do you smell like a baby?" she asked after a minute, as I watched her moving around and around rather than trying to open my book and do my best to ignore her.

"I don't!" I insisted, quickly and loudly, hoping she took that, and my refusal to meet her eyes even though I was staring at her, as indignance rather than nervousness. She stopped, eyes suspiciously fixed on me, and I quickly flipped open the book to a random page and looked down at it, pulling my legs together, at least as far as they would go with the diaper between them, in front of me. "I'm trying to read," I announced loudly, actually able to do so after breathing a sigh of relief when Nadine finally sat down in front of me.

"You do, too smell like a baby," she said after a minute. "And why do your shorts look puffy?"

Horrified, I dropped my book, wincing as I heard it bang against the floor, my eyes immediately on my lap, which, sure enough, looked incredibly big to my eyes. Had she really noticed? Of course she had... How couldn't she? "No, they don't," I lied squeakily. "What are you talking about?"

Nadine grinned her evil little grin. "Did Jen finally realize how much of a baby you are and put you in a diaper?"

My tummy had found its way back to my body at some point, only to start twisting itself up into a knot at her words, and her voice, so sure of herself. How could she know? She had seen us getting into the car the other day... Had -she- been able to recognize that the bag Jen was carrying was a diaper bag? "No," I gulped, for a moment making a rather naughty little wish that I was a better liar, or could have at least looked her in the eye when I spoke. Instead, my eyes moved down, first to my shorts, then quickly over to my feet, a little muddy, though my toes were still pretty and green.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, holding out my hands like a shield, hoping to divert her eyes from my diaper. "See? Jen doesn't think I'm a baby at all, 'cause she let me wear her nail polish!" My stomach gave another little twist as I went on. "I put it on myself!"

She viewed my fingernails critically. "That's a stupid color," she proclaimed after a moment. "And I bet you didn't. You had to get Jen to do it for you, didn't you?"

I blushed. "Well... She helped a little."

Nadine raised an eyebrow. "A little?"

"Okay, fine, she did it all," I admitted, the satisfied expression on her face making me wish I'd stuck with lying. "But I could have done it, if she hadn't. And she wouldn't let me use her nail polish if she didn't do it."

"Bet you couldn't," she said, her voice dangerously close to a dare. "I bet you'd screw it up."

I wanted very much to tell her that I could paint my nails just as well as she could, maybe better, but I forced myself to stay quiet, refusing to take her bait. I didn't want to risk getting in trouble if I was wrong, especially since proving that I wasn't would involve sneaking into Jen's room and stealing some of her stuff, if only for a few minutes. And, while I doubted she could do anything worse than she already had, she had a pretty creative mind when it came to being mean and horrid, and I had no desire to test it.

Nadine started to sulk as she saw she wasn't going to get her opportunity to get me in trouble, yet perked right back up as she remembered what else she had to taunt me about. "I think you -are- wearing a diaper."

"I am not!" I insisted, quickly picking my book back up and setting it down on my lap. "You're just..."

But she didn't let me finish, cut me off with a sudden pounce that knocked me backwards, pinning me against the floor under her weight, struggling helplessly. "Let me up!" I raged, more worried than angry, although I was starting to get pretty mad, too, tummy thrashing violently inside my body, heart pounding, as if trying to get free again and break through the floor below me to play in the pile of hay downstairs again.

"I will in a second," she smiled innocently, thoroughly unimpressed by my struggles. "I just have to check your diaper first."

"I'm not wearing a diaper!" I yelled, tears starting to run down the side of my face as her hand moved to my shorts, began to unbutton them. I was too scared to close my eyes, so I held my breath instead, hoping, praying, that, by some miracle, my diaper would vanish, dissolve back into my panties - though not the ones with the cute pandas, because Nadine would probably make fun of those, too.

It didn't work. As the zipper went down, I could see Blue staring up at me, smiling happily, trying to assure me that everything was okay, even though it wasn't. Nadine was smiling, too, in pretty much the complete opposite way, as she yanked the shorts down, over my legs, past my feet, leaving me laying there in my T-shirt and diaper.

"Really?" she asked, smirking. "'Cause that sure looks like a diaper to me." She got back to her feet, surveying her work, starting to giggle softly as my tears began to flow faster.

What was she going to do? Would she tell Caileigh? But no, probably not... I was pretty sure they didn't really talk to each other much anymore. And besides, she would have to explain how she knew. I doubt even she could come up with a convincing story for that. But she might tell everyone in school, and then none of them would ever want to be my friend again, if they ever did in the first place.

"Give those back!" I screamed at her, trying to leap up and grab my shorts, but I somehow got myself all tangled up, giving her plenty of time to get away, moving towards the ladder.

"Babies don't need shorts," she teased. "All they need is their diapers." And with that, she tossed my shorts down, down, all the way to the bottom floor.

I was on my feet then, fire in my eyes as I ran at her, all my frustration and anger bubbling out, and I wanted to hurt her, wanted to make her cry like she was making me cry.

But I should have known better than to try. She grabbed my arm as I tried to hit her, reached over for the other one, held them both still as I struggled and fought, until she pushed me down onto my knees. "Babies can't walk, either," she said condescendingly, like she was talking to a real baby. "All they can do is crawl."

"I'm not a baby!" I screamed, breaking free and shoving her knees, satisfied to see her fall over, a look of surprise on her face. Even though I wanted very much to go over to her while she was laying there and start hitting her, I was thinking just clearly enough to know it wasn't a good idea, so I instead started to climb down the ladder as fast as I could bear.

Nadine was already there, holding my shorts, eyes flashing. My stomach sank as I saw her; I should have known I wouldn't be fast enough. Nadine was always telling me I was a baby for always using the ladder, and being too scared to just jump off into the hay. It was easy, she claimed, if you were as grown up as you claimed to be. But it was too high, and besides, both Jen and Caileigh had warned me never to try it when I'd mentioned it to them. They'd probably warned Nadine, too, but she didn't care. And if not being able to do that made me a baby... Well, I would live with that.

"Give them back!" I growled, scrambling down the last couple rungs of the ladder, taking just a split second too long to catch Nadine as she darted outside, slamming the door shut behind her. Somehow, I knew right where she was heading, and the realization gave me the strength to open the door with a little less trouble than usual, although, in my hurry, I didn't notice I hadn't opened it quite far enough, just barely giving myself enough room to wriggle through, feeling rather sore afterwards.

Not enough to slow me down. I ran around to the side of the barn, the one facing the woods, finding Nadine standing right where I'd expected her to be as I turned the corner quickly, almost slipping and falling on my face. She was beside the old bathtub that the animals who lived here used to drink from, though now it mostly just stood there and collected rainwater, it's clawed feet scratching down into the mud. It was big, more so than the tub we had at home, but mostly full, like it almost always was, and Nadine was dangling my shorts over the surface of the water.

I stopped a few steps away, cautious. "Nadine, c'mon..." I pleaded, my brain refusing to come up with more to say than that, and my throat refusing to say more, as it gulped in air, trying to refill my lungs.

"Apologize," she demanded, eyes hard, set, ticked off.

"But I didn't do anything!" I cried. This was so unfair! She was the one who tackled me, and took off my shorts! What did she expect me to do?

Probably sit there and take it, like I always did. And maybe I should have. After all, she had been right, and this was probably my punishment for lying, or at least doing such an awful job at it. "I'm sorry," I said quietly, not meaning it.

Nadine looked like she was going to demand another apology, this one sincere, but instead she shrugged boredly. "All right."

"All right?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Was she serious? Did she feel bad, maybe?

"Yeah," she shrugged again. "I won't put them in the water."

Instead, she tossed my shorts down beside the tub, and started to walk away. I ran forward, even though I had no chance of making it in time, since they were already on the ground by the time I started moving. All of the sudden, I slipped, could have sworn I felt myself being pushed, found myself falling forward towards the bathtub. My chest slammed against the edge, knocking the air out of my lungs again, and I slumped to the ground, gasping, crying, my knees sinking down into the mud.

It just wasn't fair, none of it. Nadine never had to go through any of this stuff - why was it always me? I leaned my head against the side of the tub, sniffling. If only someday, she could know what it felt like, maybe she wouldn't be so mean to me all the time. But that would never happen. She would never be stupid enough to let herself get trapped into agreeing to something like this.

My chest was starting to hurt, and crying wasn't helping very much, so I wiped my eyes, started to get up, putting a hand on the top of the tub to help pull myself up out of the mud, which seemed to be holding onto my legs with all of its might, like it was trying to pull me down underneath it, bury me where I wouldn't be found ever again. If my tummy wasn't starting to feel empty, I might not have minded so much.

The top of the tub was slippery, my hand sliding off of it almost immediately, sending me banging back into the side of it, my hand going down into the water a few inches before I hurriedly pulled it out, in case there were any pirahnas or sharks or something in there. I'd never seen them before, but you could never tell, especially when you weren't looking into it at the moment.

Once I got to my feet on my own, picking up my slightly muddy shorts, I glanced at the tub, just to see how close a call I'd had, but, sure enough, there was nothing there between the surface, which was slowly rippling, and the bottom, probably all slimy and slippery like the top edge had been. As I watched, the ripples died down, leaving the water as still and smooth as a mirror.

My shorts weren't too dirty, really, although I couldn't brush the mud that was there off; I just ended up smearing it around more. After a few tries, I gave up and put them back on, trying to adjust my shirt so that Jen wouldn't notice it, but it wasn't long enough, so I lifted it instead, looking down at my chest, where I could see a bruise already forming.

I brushed it tentatively, pulling my fingers away quickly as soon as they touched it, wincing. "Stupid bathtub," I muttered, starting to walk back around the barn. "Stupid Nadine."

She was already long gone by then, probably gloating back at her house, or waiting on her porch to watch me slouching home, all muddy and tired. And diapered. I hoped she was inside - I didn't think I could take seeing her again just yet. Just in case, I walked as slowly as I could, pretending I was sinking down into the path with every step, the mud on my legs from the barn trying to pull me down into the earth again.

About halfway there, I remembered my book. I turned around, the path now being much nicer, letting me run back the other way without grabbing at me. By the time I'd climbed up the ladder and retrieved poor Alice, and gotten back down, my tummy was feeling very empty, so I walked normally back home, since my legs were too tired to run all the way.

Nadine wasn't on her porch, luckily; she was probably eating lunch already. Caileigh had probably even baked her cookies. She was nice that way, even to people who didn't deserve it.

I made sure to wipe off my flip-flops before I went inside my house, mostly because the sight of the bristly mat beside the door reminded me. I spent a while there, until my hunger began to outweigh my anxiety over how Jen would react to the sight of me. Would she be upset? Would she be angry?

Mostly, she was just surprised, it turned out.

"What have you been up to?" she asked, eyes as wide as they had been since she'd turned away from the pots boiling on the stove and seen me standing in the doorway.

I thought about telling her the truth, but I knew she wouldn't believe me. She never did, just like Caileigh, though at least Jen didn't get as upset about it. What was the point? I didn't feel like getting yelled at for making up stories, not after everything else.

So I fibbed, smiling as innocently as I could, fluttering an eyelash or two, trying to look just irresistibly adorable, letting my arms fall down in front of me, my book held between them as they swung back and forth. "I was just reading in the barn."

Chapter Nineteen

Jen looked at me doubtfully, her shocked expression slowly fading, replaced with something that may have been faint amusement. "Let me see the bottom of your flip-flops, she ordered with a sigh, and I obediently lifted one foot, then the other once she had nodded. "All right, keep those on - they look cleaner than your feet. Turn around."

I blinked quizzically, wondering what she wanted. The only thing behind me was the door back outside, and that was where the mud was. It wasn't until she spun one of her fingers in a circle that I figured out what she meant. I turned slowly, still a little confused, but knowing it would be better if I just obeyed her. One of the pots began to boil as she watched me, forcing her to quickly turn back to the stove, sliding it off of the burner and lifting the lid with a slight frown. She picked up one of the big spoons, one with all the holes in it, and started to poke at the contents of the pan.

I stood quietly, trying my best to be a good girl, trying to decipher the scents wafting over from the stove, until she finally remembered I was there. "Go down to the basement and put your shorts with the other laundry," she instructed, not looking up at me for more than a second as she picked up the pot, moving it off of the stove, and over to the sink. "Lunch'll probably be done by the time you get back up here."

I glanced down at my shorts, which didn't look all -that- dirty, decided not to argue anyway. I didn't think Jen was mad at me, yet it was still a good idea not to push her, not when I was feeling too worn out to deal with her. I set my book on the edge of the counter as I passed by, switched on the light in the stairway to the basement.

I used to be afraid of going down there, of the eternal darkness laying curled up in wait where the steps ended, which had to be ventured into a few steps before your fingers could start scrambling over the wall, searching for the light switch. I guess I still was, a little bit, but I had gotten better about it, and very rarely outright refused to go down by myself anymore. Of course, I rarely went down there at all, alone or not.

Even so, I paused halfway down, the utter silence from below rushing forward, mixing with and muffling the sound of Jen talking to herself upstairs as she finished cooking. My tummy rumbled as I heard something like the oven door opening, letting loose the smell of bread to flow through the house. The sooner I got this over with, I told myself, the sooner I could eat.

I nodded resolutely, continued climbing downward, flip-flops slapping against the wooden steps, a little annoying, yes, but more likely to scare away anything hiding in the dark than the quiet of my bare feet. I held my breath as I came to the last step, hopped off, turned the corner, running my hand up the cool wall, almost wanting to just lean up against it with my whole body. That was the one good thing about the basement, the fact that it was nice and cold, even in the summer.

Click. The light bulb blinked a couple times, a frantic plea from my lips giving it the strength to stay lit the last time, shining down over the boxes stacked all across the cement floor, stacked up over my head in a few places, most of the labels hidden under other boxes, or faded away. It was almost like a maze, a labyrinth, full of little treasures, locked away in cardboard. I used to like going through the boxes, at least the ones that were full of old magazines - even before I could read, it was fun to get lost in all the pictures - until Jen had quietly scooted the stacks of boxes around me while I was particularly absorbed, sitting off in the corner of the basement, and trapped me there.

Since then, I hadn't spent much time down there, always a little apprehensive. And I did my best not to venture into the thick of the boxes at all; even though I knew Jen had moved them that time, ever since, I was always certain they were in different arrangements every time I came downstairs; I was sure they had learned to move on their own, and if I tried to move in on their space they would build a maze around me, or just plain trap me again.

But as long as I stayed around the edges, I knew I'd be okay. So that's what I did, kept up against the wall as I slowly walked around the room, towards the side where the humongous freezer, way bigger than me, and maybe even big enough for Jen to fit inside, if there wasn't a bunch of other stuff in there already, and the washer and drier, stood. I wriggled out of my shorts, tossed them into laundry basket on top of the washer. They didn't quite make it, ended up hanging over the edge of the basket, but I decided it was close enough, and edged over to the freezer.

The lid wasn't quite as heavy as the barn door, although sometimes it felt that way, especially if you weren't careful, and it closed on your fingers. Still, it took a fair bit of effort to lift it, and even more to keep it up while I scanned the contents, mostly disappointed by them. Sometimes, mommy would put stuff like popsicles and ice cream sandwiches down there instead of in the refrigerator's freezer, but I didn't see any there now. Which probably was a good thing, since, now that I was shorts-less, I didn't have any pockets to hide the wrapper in once I got back upstairs until I could throw it away, and Jen would likely yell at me for not waiting until after I'd had "real" food.

She might yell at me anyway, if I took too long in the basement, or at least get suspicious. So I gave up in my search, letting down the lid as gently as I could, although I did let it drop the last inch or two, as always, to make sure none of my fingers got caught, and moved back around the perimeter of the basement, switching off the light and darting around to the steps.

By the time I got back up to the kitchen, Jen was eyeing a plate critically, before dipping the spoon back into the pot. She turned when she heard me, surveyed my appearance. "That's better, I guess," she said, not sounding particularly convinced. "But I think we're going to eat at the table, instead of on the couch."

"Okay," I shrugged, starting towards my chair, noticing the tray of biscuits sitting on the counter.

"No, no, no," she shook her head. "No sitting until you wash your hands."

"They're clean!" I pouted, sighing as she fixed me with a stare that told me she didn't believe me, and if I didn't do it myself, she'd do it for me. I trudged back away from the table, taking a short detour to grab my book to set down on my bed before heading to the bathroom and washing my hands, which actually did turn out to be a little dirty after all.

When I got back to the kitchen, Jen was already eating, and there was a plate waiting for me at my seat, covered with a hot dog, a biscuit spread with butter and strawberry jelly, and, much to my horror, peas. "Jen!" I whined, standing beside my chair sulkily.

She sighed. "They're not that bad, Penni. And they're good for you. I didn't even give you that many."

I glared down at my plate, which appeared to contradict her pretty badly. She rolled her eyes, set her fork down. "Penni, just sit down and eat."

"Fine," I huffed, climbing up onto my chair and picking up my biscuit, setting it down again quickly. "That's hot!" I exclaimed, waving my hands and giving Jen a dirty look across the table.

"They did just come out of the oven, sweetie," she shrugged, sort of apologetically. "Maybe you should eat your peas first, and get them out of the way."

"Do I -have- to?" I asked, eyes wide and sad, bottom lip sticking out, but not expecting any results, especially not the one I got.

"Nope," Jen shook her head, leaving me so shocked I couldn't do more than blink until she continued. "Though if you don't eat them yourself, I'll come over there and feed them to you. I know where some of your old bibs are, not to mention your high chair. It might be a bit of a pain to get it down here, but I'd be willing to do it."

"You're awful," I pouted, starting to cut a piece off of my hot dog with the side of my fork.

"Does that mean you want me to?" Her eyes shone hopefully, waiting for me to make some kind of a mistake she could construe into the 'Yes' she wanted to hear. I didn't answer her at all, just kept eating, eyes fixed on my plate, and the humongous pile of peas sitting on it, waiting.

Even though it meant waiting for my biscuit to finish cooling enough to touch it, I finished it and my hot dog, thoroughly drenched in the mixture of ketchup and Ranch dressing that Jen knew how to make just right, before even starting to poke at the peas. Jen was already done by then, and watching me, amused, as I speared one at a time, wrinkling my nose as I chewed up each one. I probably would have continued that way, although it likely would have taken me the rest of the afternoon, if I hadn't been interrupted by a sudden urge to use the bathroom.

I glanced up at Jen, halfway considering asking if I hadn't eaten enough yet; I had the feeling any such question would be considered a good enough reason to get out my high chair, and I had no desire to tempt her with that. That didn't stop me from squirming in my chair unhappily, however, as I started to eat upwards of two peas at a time, and then began to scoop as many as I could get onto my fork as another pang hit. That made them vanish much more quickly, although it still didn't feel quite fast enough, and, by the time I set my fork down on my empty plate, my diaper was wet, but that wasn't even the worst of my worries.

"Good girl," Jen smiled, getting up, stacking her plate on top of mine and taking it over to the sink. "Now, I think we'd better get you cleaned up before we do the dishes, okay?"

I nodded, blushing a little as she took my hand and led me to the bathroom, where she had me sit on the toilet lid as she took off my flip-flops, rinsed them off in the tub as I fidgeted away beside her, so close but so far, trying to work up the courage to speak up, too humiliated by the thought to do so.

"Someone's a little wiggle worm today," Jen teased, tickling my tummy as she lifted my shirt, bringing it up and over my head, pausing for a moment at the sight of the bruise on my chest. "Jeez, Penni, what happened to you?"

I looked down sheepishly, having nearly forgotten about that. "Oh, it was..." I started to say, before changing my mind, chickening out. "I just slipped and fell into the side of the old tub beside the barn."

She shook her head sympathetically. "You should be careful, hon. You could fall in there and drown or something."

"I'm not going to drown," I told her, sticking out my tongue, getting giggled at in return, until I felt the pain in my tummy again, telling me I'd have to act soon if I was going to. "Umm... Jen..." I started, cheeks growing redder as she looked up at my face.

"What is it?"

I tilted my head away, down, towards the wet diaper on my bottom, which was only a slightly less embarrassing view for my confession. "I... umm..." I paused, wincing, wishing she would use that big sister sense of hers to figure it out on her own. Or maybe she had, and she just wanted me to say it out loud. I began to resolve not to, just to show her a thing or two, but I knew that admitting it wouldn't be nearly as bad as what would happen if I didn't. "I hafta go to the baffwoom," I sniffled.

Jen smiled. "That's what your diaper is for, babe. I think it can take another..."

I shook my head frantically. "No, it's not that. I hafta..."

Her eyes went wide with comprehension. "Ohhh..." Then she smiled. "Well, your diaper is for that, too."

I sniffled again, bottom lip quivering. "Jen, c'mon... Please..."

She looked at me for a minute, deep in contemplation.

"Please don't make me," I pleaded.

"Oh, all right," she caved in finally. "I'll let you use the potty."

"Thank you!" I cried, jumping down to hug her while she laughed, undid the tapes of my diaper and letting it fall with a wet thud to the floor before lifting the lid of the toilet and setting my down on it. She picked up the diaper and my T-shirt and retreated, even shut the door to give me a little privacy. I couldn't believe winning the right not to have to poop my diaper made me feel so grown up; if I hadn't been so happy I'd managed to do it, then my pride would have made me feel like even more of a baby than ever.

After a few minutes, there was a light tap at the bathroom door. "All done, hon?" Jen's voice drifted in.

I nodded, remembered she couldn't see me, said, "Uh-huh."

The door opened, and Jen came in, setting a new T-shirt, diaper and the baby powder and oil down on the sink, bending over to turn the knobs on the tub, putting in the plug. I waited behind her, starting to wish I'd tempted fate and given myself a bath - after all, she hadn't said straight out this "cleaning up" up me had to be done by her. I knew it was what she meant, though, and, after just getting a favor from her, I didn't want to push her generosity too far. Besides, it wasn't that big a difference from usual, since I usually had somebody help me wash my hair, since I didn't like having the water pound down on me from the shower head. And it hadn't been all that long since I'd stopped getting my entire bath given to me.

At first, I thought it wouldn't be so bad after all; Jen turned off the water while there was still only a few inches in the tub, lifted me in and set me down, smiling gently as she soaped up a washcloth. "You certainly are a mess, aren't you?", she asked, grinning when I stuck out my tongue at her. "Did you have fun playing in the mud?"

I blushed a little, nodded anyway, giggling as the washcloth went between my toes, inadvertently - or maybe not so much so - tickling the bottom of my foot. Jen smiled, was nice enough not to continue tickling me, instead gently running the soapy cloth up my legs, getting rid of most of the mud caked there. I scooted backwards, so that I could lean against the back of the tub, closing my eyes and relaxing, wondering why I'd ever started doing any of this for myself.

Then, before I realized hardly any time had passed, I heard Jen pulling the plug, felt the water whooshing past me into the drain. I opened my eyes slowly, sadly. "Done already?" I asked, sounding more disappointed than I meant to.

Jen smiled, shook her head. "Nope, not at all." And once the tub had drained, she put the plug back in, started the water back up, letting it fill up much more this time. I leaned back and closed my eyes again, feeling it swish and flow all around me, covering me up, hardly noticing the sound of Jen opening the cupboard under the sink, although I most definitely did notice the bubbles that came from the bottle she retrieved from there when my eyelids cracked open.

"Yay!" I giggled, splashing around in the bubbles, some of which landed on Jen's shirt. She tried to look angry at me, but couldn't stop herself from giggling, too, as she picked up the washcloth again.

"Glad you like it," she said, running the cloth, and the bubbles attached to it, up my tummy to my chest, making sure to be careful around the bruise, which was starting to look pretty ugly. She pulled me forward so she could reach my back, while I scooped up bubbles into my palms blowing them up into the air and giggling as they floated back down to the water.

"Bend your head back," Jen instructed softly, leaving my side for long enough to get something else from under the cupboard, this time an empty cup. I followed her instructions obediently, even closing my eyes before she asked me to, protecting them from any soap or shampoo. I felt water pouring slowly over my head once, twice, three times, then nothing for a minute.

I lifted an eyelid, just a little, to watch Jen pouring shampoo into her hands, rubbing them together before reaching for my head. It smelled nice, although the scent was rather faint, and hard to place, almost like warm honey, almost some sort of flower. I snapped my eye closed, just to be safe - I could only remember getting shampoo in my eyes a couple times, but the memory was bad enough to keep me from wanting to risk it again.

Jen's fingers danced across my head, gently massaging my scalp, until I found my eyelids starting to relax, no longer smushed tightly against each other, and I found myself yawning.

"What were you saying about not wanting a nap?" Jen teased, her fingers going still, pulling away, reaching for the cup again to rinse out my hair.

"Shu'up," I mumbled sleepily. She had tricked me, that was all. She knew baths made me sleepy, and that's why she made me take one, so she could be right about me supposedly "needing" a nap. That had to be it. Why else would she decide I needed one... Well, other than my kinda dirty legs.

"Ready to get out?" she whispered, once she had poured a few more cupfulls of water over my head. I nodded, felt the water rush past me for a few moments before Jen plucked me out of the tub, wrapping me in a big, fluffy towel.

I thought for sure I remembered her laying me down on the towel and diapering me, in between drying me off and carrying me to my bed, but by the time I woke up, I was in my big girl panties, and another pair of shorts, dark green, and there was no sign of either my diaper bag or the diaper genie anywhere. I stumbled out of my room, yawning, nearly running right into mommy.

"Did you have a nice nap, Penni?" she asked with a smile. I nodded, gave her a hug to welcome her home, even though I wasn't sure how long she'd been there. She bent down to hug me back.

Then I heard the sniff, and my heart froze.

"Sweetie, why do you smell like baby powder?" My throat froze as she pulled away, eyes firmly locked into my gaze.

Should I tell her? After all, she had asked, and Jen couldn't get mad if I told her then, because if I lied, I would get in even more trouble. But her words from a few days before were still echoing through my mind, as well as the warning they'd contained. If I told mommy that Jen was making me wear diapers, then Jen would tell her about my accident, and then she would put me in diapers all the time... That would make everything, especially Jen's babying of me, worse. I couldn't do that, but what else could I do?

"We got her a new kind of shampoo the other day," Jen's voice spoke up from behind mommy, sounding entirely convincing. I could have hugged her, if mommy's hands weren't still attached to my shoulders. "I noticed it smelled kind of like baby powder, too. Weird, huh?"

Silence. My tummy started to twist up inside me, and I was sure mommy knew Jen was lying, until, finally, she nodded. "Yeah, that is weird," she smiled, kissing the top of my head. "But it smells nice on you."

"Umm... Thanks," I blushed.

"She didn't even believe me," Jen continued, shaking her head. "She said it didn't smell anything like that."

"Well, I doubt she remembers what baby powder smells like. Do you, honey?" My cheeks flushed again as she looked down at me, and I shook my head.

"No," Jen smiled. "I guess she wouldn't."

Elizabeth

Chapter Twenty

"Careful," Jen warned, pausing with one hand in the sink's soapy water, eyes worried.

"I'm fine," I insisted, even though my heart was still pounding. The damp plate she'd just handed me had almost slipped out of my grasp, but I somehow managed to keep ahold of it, just barely. I was almost glad my diaper had already been wet since lunch, sagging beneath my jumper - not my favorite, although it used to be, until I'd gotten my purple denim one. This one was a rather bright yellow, trimmed with pink, and just barely long enough to keep my diaper hidden as I stood there on my footstool, drying dishes.

To be honest, I'd almost forgotten I had it, as had Jen, apparently, from the pleasantly surprised tone of her voice when she noticed it, and declared I would wear it, while flipping through my closet, deciding on my outfit for the day. I hadn't worn it since near the beginning of second grade, when I'd been playing at recess, not paying attention to anything but having fun, and heard some nasty boys singing about seeing my underpants. I was pretty sure Nadine had encouraged them, although she, and the boys, once I'd worked up the courage to ask them about it, or go near them at all, which took until almost the end of school, denied it.

The boys had gotten in trouble for making fun of me, but I had gotten sent home with a note for mommy, something about wearing shorts under my dresses, like I usually did for school, actually, or I had the year before. Still, I decided to wear shorts or jeans for most of second grade, and whenever I didn't, my tummy was always full of butterflies until I got home, no matter how long the dress was - that didn't seem like the important part at all. And I hadn't put this jumper on at all since then, having hidden it away in a corner of my closet, angry at it for "betraying" me.

Until Jen had found it, and slipped it on over my head, spreading the skirt down and smiling happily as I tried to find a good way to sit without exposing my diaper. I was beginning to wonder how Jen had failed to notice the state of my diaper yet, since it had been mostly exposed while I sat on the couch next to her and ate, boredly watching the news, although I had been doing my best to cover it after my accident.

Before that, though, I had almost forgotten about it, or, rather, about how visible it was. I guess it just didn't matter that much, when Jen was the only person there, and she knew about it already. The day had been pretty boring so far, since I'd been too nervous to venture over to the barn, or even outside to my swings, knowing Nadine might be waiting for me. So I'd just stayed inside, following Jen around and complaining about how boring she was, and begging her to paint my nails again.

"Maybe tomorrow," she'd said, but I knew she meant "Probably never again." I don't know why she wouldn't, although apparently whining wouldn't change it, or so she'd claimed. I'd tried anyway, which prompted her to lament again her decision not to buy a pacifier. I stayed quiet after that, having the feeling she would have no problem changing that next time we went to town if I kept bothering her. I'd still followed her around the house for a while, however, until she made me sit on the couch while she cooked lunch, to get me out from under her feet.

I rubbed the plate sulkily, until it was mostly dry, set it down in the rack on the counter. It had been nice having pretty fingernails, even for just the morning; it wasn't fair not to let me have them again, especially without any sort of explanation. My mind wandered back to the day before, and my conversation with Nadine, the unspoken dare.

Maybe I'd do it anyway. That would prove to Nadine that I wasn't a baby, and show Jen how much I wanted it. Of course, I don't know how well she'd take me stealing her nail polish... It wasn't like my plan to get my ears pierced so she could see how good I looked with earrings. She already knew how I looked with painted nails. She just didn't care for some reason.

"Penni!" Jen scolded, over the sound of a cup I hadn't noticed her handing me bouncing off of my footstool, and down onto the floor. Luckily, it was plastic, not one of our glass ones, so it was okay, but Jen didn't see it quite that was, apparently. "All right," she said, taking my towel and drying off her hands, "If you're not going to pay attention, I'll just put you down for your nap now."

I pouted as she lifted me into her arms, trying to stomp on my footstool before my feet rose unwillingly off of it. "I don't need a nap!" I protested.

"Are you going to tell me that every day?" she rolled her eyes. "You didn't mind for the past couple days, so I don't think it will kill you today, either."

"I'm not tired today!" I tried to squirm out of her arms, but she was, of course, still too strong. "And I'm s'posed to help you with the dishes!"

"They're almost done," Jen shrugged. "And having you asleep will be more of a help than you in there dropping everything."

"I only dropped one thing," I told her, sulking.

"So far," she corrected, kissing the tip of my nose to take some of the harshness out of her comment. "Besides, you're overdue for a change." I blushed, nodded meekly as she laid me down on the changing pad, still spread across my bed, pushing my jumper up to pull open the tabs and clean me off, giggling like she always did as I shivered at the touch of the cool wipes. "You want to use the potty?"

My cheeks gave her the answer I couldn't bring myself to vocalize, and she set me down on the floor. "Give me a kiss, and you can go," she said.

"Thank you," I mumbled, kissing her on the cheek before running down the hall to the bathroom. I was glad she'd asked, or else I probably would have had to go during my nap, and I wasn't sure if she'd let me up then, even for that.

By the time I'd finished and returned, she had my new diaper laid out on the pad, waiting for me to be set on top of it and taped inside. She was all too happy to oblige it.

"Sweet dreams, baby," she whispered in my ear, kissing the side of my hair. I watched her fold the changing pad and set it down on the floor, and slip out, closing the door all but a crack behind her.

"Don't need a nap," I sniffled, curling up into a ball, grabbing Mrs. Ellenstofalix from behind me a hugging her. "Stupid Jen." But, even so, I found myself asleep after a few minutes of tossing and turning unhappily, and I was still that way when Caileigh and Nadine came to visit.

"Hi!" Jen exclaimed, setting the last plate in the cupboard before opening the door for her friends. "Whatcha up to?"

"Just coming over to visit," Caileigh smiled, stepping inside. "You busy?"

Jen shook her head. "Nope, just got finished." They went into the living room, found their favorite seats, sank down into them.

"Penni over at the barn?" Caileigh asked, glancing around the room and finding no me.

Jen shook her head, smiling. "Nope, she's taking a nap."

Caileigh raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought she was too old for those now." She and Jen shared a gently sardonic smile.

"She's actually been taking them for a few days now," Jen explained, paused. The connections began to fire up again in her mind, reminding her of my actual babyhood, and who had always been there with her as she dressed me up, and painted my nails, and did God only knows what else. To her credit, she did pause. But not for long.

"Do you want to see her?"

"See her?" Caileigh's eyebrows furrowed. "But she's sleeping; I don't want to wake her up."

Jen waved her hand dismissively. "She'll be fine. C'mon!" She stood up, offering her hand to her friend to help her to her feet. They crept through the house, quiet as mice, and Jen pushed my door open a little further, so they could see me, curled up in bed, arms around my dragon, back of my dress leaving my diaper almost completely exposed. "Isn't she adorable?"

Caileigh pulled the door closed, pushed Jen further down the hall, away from my door so their voices wouldn't wake me. "Was she wearing a diaper?" she whispered.

Jen nodded gleefully. "Cute, huh?"

Caileigh's eyes narrowed, suspicious. "Why?"

It was then that Jen realized Caileigh wouldn't approve of her methods of turning me back into her doll, whether she liked the results or not. So she lied. "She asked me to. Weird, huh? But she really seemed to want to, so I figured, hey, why not?"

"She wanted to?" Caileigh's voice was skeptical, but Jen was a master, and she could tell her friend was starting to buy it.

"Isn't that cute?" she gushed. "I mean, I never would have expected it from her, the way she always tries to act all grown up. Guess you can never tell with kids, huh?"

"Guess not," Caileigh answered slowly, tiptoeing back over to my door, glancing in again. "She -is- pretty cute in it."

"Isn't she, though?" Jen giggled.

"And she really asked you to let her wear one?" she twisted her neck, again focusing on my sister.

"Of course," she nodded seriously.

Caileigh watched me for a little longer, wiggling and twisting in my sleep, before closing the door, turning on Jen, who took a step back, just in case her friend had seen through the ruse. And then she smiled, giggled, but softly, so I wouldn't wake up. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

By the time I woke up with a huge yawn, during which I was pretty sure I had my mouth open big enough to nearly swallow Mrs. Ellenstofalix's head, if she had been so unlucky as to be a little closer to my head, they were in the living room again, giggling and scheming, as big sister do. I turned over onto my back, disappointed to feel my diaper's padding still wrapped around my bottom. I'd gotten accustomed to waking up and finding it gone, like magic, but apparently I hadn't slept long enough for that to happen yet.

I yawned again, arms tightening around Mrs. Ellenstofalix as my eyes closed to give my mouth more room on my face. When they opened again, I noticed Nadine sitting next to me on my bed, smirking.

"Ack!" I shouted, sitting up quickly, dropping Mrs. Ellenstofalix onto her head in my hurry. "What are you doing here?!"

"I came to visit," she said simply, staring down at my diaper, making me realize it was exposed again. I blushed, hurriedly tried to cover it up. "Did Baby Penni have a nice nap?" she teased. "Does she need her diaper changed?"

I stuck my tongue out at her, didn't bother to answer as I scooted down the length of my bed so I could slide off of the foot instead of having to go around her. She didn't seem to care, and I bet she even messed up my jumper as I walked past her to my door, since I could have sworn I had straightened out the skirt all the way.

"Awake already?" Jen asked as I stumbled into the living room, still a little sleepy.

"Hi, cutie," I heard Caileigh say. I jumped, blushing as I turned around.

"Hi," I said bashfully, although Caileigh's smile made me feel better, up until I felt Jen smoothing down my skirt.

"Your diaper was showing," she explained casually, like it was no big deal.

"Jen!" I yelled, tears filling my eyes as I spun around towards her, then back towards Caileigh in case my diaper was still exposed, and then I just glanced between the two of them, bottom lip quaking. How could she have just come out and said that with Caileigh right there?!

"Penni, it's okay," Caileigh soothed, standing up and walking over to me, laying her hand on my shoulder gently. I glanced up at her nervously, tears starting to flow down my cheeks. "I already know."

Of course, that didn't make me feel a whole lot better. "You told her?!" I raged, turning back to Jen, my fingers curling up into fists. "How could you?!"

Caileigh knelt beside me, put her other hand on my other shoulder, twisted me towards her. "Sweetie, it's all right," she told me, staring me straight in the eyes, so that I would know she was telling the truth. "It's all right."

"No, it's not," I shook my head. "I'm not a baby, I'm not!"

Caileigh smiled, reached up to smooth my hair. "I know you aren't, Penni. You're a big girl, and diapers don't change that."

I sniffled softly. "Yes, they do," I pouted.

Caileigh laughed, gently. "No, I promise you they don't. I don't care if you're wearing diapers or not, you're still the same old Penni."

"Really?" I glanced into her eyes, trying to make sure.

"Really," she nodded, getting up and sitting back down on the couch, patting the cushion beside her, where I always sat when she came over. I hopped up onto it happily, resting my head against her side and letting her run her fingers through my hair, sticking my tongue out at Nadine as she stood watching us, obviously disappointed by her sister's reaction.

Even though she said she saw me as the same old Penni, I could tell that Caileigh liked me better in diapers, too, just like Jen. I don't know what it is with big sisters and liking to see little sisters in diapers, but Caileigh was paying more attention to me than usual, looking over at me and smiling more often. As I realized this, a plan began to form in my mind, and, before I could think it through all the way, I was bouncing off the couch.

"Can I go play on the swings?" I asked Jen.

She shrugged. "Sure, if you want to. Just put something on your feet."

I nodded, raced to my room to slip on my flip-flops, ignoring Jen's instructions, too late anyway, not to run in the house. As I passed the living room again, seeing Nadine sulking at one end of the couch, unhappy about her sister paying even more attention to me than normal. Well, she was about to get more upset.

"Caileigh," I called, smiling my biggest, prettiest smile. "Will you come push me?"

"Sure, cutie," she agreed, getting to her feet and walking over to me. "You sure you don't want Jen instead?"

I nodded, slipping my hand into hers. "Uh-huh." I saw her smiling as we walked outside, giggled, knowing my plan was working. This would be easy. I let her lift me up onto the swing, even though I didn't really need her help, and just swung for a while, feeling the wind against my face, her hands gently pushing against my back.

I considered just coming out and telling her about the day before, and what Nadine had done, but I knew she didn't like to hear bad things about her little sister, and probably wouldn't have believed me anyway. No, I couldn't pull it off that easily; fortunately, I knew how to wait, when I needed to.

"You're really good at this," I told her after a few minutes. "You're a lot better than Jen."

Caileigh laughed. "Well, thank you, sweetie."

"It's true!" I insisted. "She always pushes too hard, and I'm afraid I'm gonna get launched up into outer space or something."

"I don't think that would happen," she assured me.

"It might," I shrugged, fell silent again. I could tell she wasn't quite ready. What else could I say? I tried to think of something else to compliment her about, but my mind didn't want to work too hard so soon after my nap, and my bladder was starting to feel full.

And then it occurred to me. Jen seemed to like changing my diapers quite a bit - maybe Caileigh would, too. It would be a little embarrassing, but she already knew about them, and probably knew that I had to use them, too. Besides, it was the best idea I could come up with, so I gave a little sigh, and let my bladder flow.

"Caileigh, could you stop?" She slowed down immediately, taking a moment before grabbing the chains and bringing the seat to a halt.

"What's wrong?" Her voice was concerned; I almost felt bad for making her worry so much.

"Umm..." I blushed, staring down at the ground shyly. "I... uh... I need my diaper... I mean..."

"Oh, you need a change?" she supplied helpfully, so all I had to do was nod. "Well, we'd better go get Jen to take care of that, huh?" she smiled, lifting me down and heading for the door.

I grabbed her hand, but stood still. Unlike Jen, who would have just dragged me inside anyway, Caileigh stopped, turned to see what was wrong. Or she stopped, at any rate - if she turned, I didn't notice, because my face was pointed at the sand, still red as I mustered up the courage to speak.

"Is something the matter?" she spoke gently, brushing the hair out of my face.

"Can you - I mean, if you don't mind - would you... change me?"

At first, I was sure I'd misjudged her. The sight of her shocked expression made my tummy knot up, and I frantically began to attempt to take it back, until I saw the grin spread across her face. "Sure, I will!" she exclaimed, hugging me. "I'm glad you trust me enough to ask that, sweetie."

I smiled bashfully, leading the way inside, through the house. "Done already?" Jen spoke up from the couch, staring curiously at us as we passed the living room.

When she saw I was too embarrassed to say anything, Caileigh said, "We're just going to take care of a little something."

Jen nodded knowingly, while Nadine was confused for a minute before starting to giggle. I wished Caileigh would tell her not to, but she didn't seem to notice; she was like that with her sister. "Go ahead and put her panties back on her," Jen instructed, glancing at the clock. "Mom will be home pretty soon."

"Sure thing," Caileigh nodded, then smiled as I tugged on her hand to get her going again.

"Jen changes me on my bed," I explained when we got to my room, and Caileigh had shut the door behind her. "She puts that big plastic mat on top of it."

"Got it." Caileigh spread my changing pad across my bed while I went to my dresser, picked out a pair of pink panties with little roses on them and set them on the bed. I raised my arms towards her - she smiled and lifted me up and laid me down, pushing up the hem of my dress some, not nearly enough. She did seem pretty happy with me, though, so I decided to risk it.

"Caileigh," I began, her hand brushing against the first tape and freezing at the sound of her name. I froze up for a moment, working up my courage again. "Caileigh," I repeated, voice strengthening, a little too much, so that I had to make it go softer as I went on. "I'm sorry I make you mad all the time."

Her eyes went wide for a moment before she bent over to kiss my forehead. "You don't make me mad all the time, Penni."

"But I do," I insisted, all sweet and innocent, eyes big. "And I'm sorry." I batted my eyelashes, sniffling sadly, the closest I could come to making myself cry. "Do you still love me anyway?"

"Of course I do!" she said, voice loud with surprise.. "I'll always love you, sweetie."

I squirmed a little, bringing another smile to her face. "We'd better get you dry, huh?"

I nodded, let her un-tape the first side before going on. "Do you love me even when I'm in diapers?"

She stopped again. My tummy clenched - was I going too far? "Of course."

"Okay," I said, sounding skeptical.

"Why wouldn't you think I'd love you just because of diapers?"

I shrugged, acting shy again. "I dunno..."

She cocked her head to one side, sensing different. "Are you sure?"

"Well, it's just that, yesterday, Nadine made fun of me because of them." I blushed immediately, bringing a hand up to my mouth.

"Oh," she said, her voice a tiny bit colder.

"I didn't mean to tattle," I insisted. "I didn't, I promise. But she did..."

"All right." She patted the side of my leg reassuringly and went back to untaping the other side of the diaper. I wasn't positive, but I thought she might be starting to believe me this time.

I giggled and squirmed as she used the baby wipes, getting a laugh from her before she turned to stick the diaper into the genie. I quickly reached down, pulled my jumper further up, put my hand back down to my side as her attention returned to me, picking up my panties and sliding them up my legs. I almost thought she would miss it, and I began thinking of a way to bring it up casually, yet quickly, before I heard her gasp.

"What happened to you, sweetie?" she breathed, her fingers reaching up tentatively, eyes wide an sympathetic.

"It was nothing," I blushed, turning my head away from her.

She knew I was lying - I wanted her to. "There's no way nothing did that," she shook her head, sitting down beside me and putting me into her lap. "What really happened, Penni?"

I kept looking away from her, focusing on me feet now. She began to rock me gently, fingers brushing against my hair. When I stayed silent, she bent down and kissed my forehead. "You can tell me, sweetie, no matter what it is. What happened?"

"I don't want to make you mad," I sniffled pitifully.

"You're not going to make me mad." I looked up at her then, eyes big and innocent.

"Pwomise?" I lisped, having to force myself not to wince. I hated doing that on purpose, but sometimes it was necessary, and this was one of those times.

"I swear." She was serious, as much so as I'd heard her in a long time. "I won't get mad at you if you tell me the truth."

I nodded, making myself sound just as serious. "Then I promise to tell the truth." She nodded back. I took a deep breath. It was now or never - if she wasn't ready to listen, and believe me, after all that, she never would be.

"It was Nadine," I told her quietly. "It was her, she shoved me yesterday and made me run into the tub, and that was after she stole my shorts to see if I had a diaper on. And she wouldn't let me come up the ladder, and she took my book, and she hit me with a sword, and..." I broke off for a quick sniffle, partly for added effect, partially because the memories weren't exactly pleasant.

As it turned out, I didn't need to go on. I could feel Caileigh starting to grow angry as I spoke, like she usually did when I tried to tell on Nadine to her, except this time, I had a good feeling that it wasn't me she was getting mad at, that she had realized at last that her sister wasn't the little angel she thought she was.

She took me off of her lap, set me down on the bed, and stormed out. I heard Jen asking what was wrong, and a squawk from Nadine that I imagined came from Caileigh grabbing her wrist and pulling her up from the couch. I wish I could have heard Caileigh start yelling at her, but unfortunately, that didn't start until they had gotten back to their house. I did hear the back door slam, though, and I laid back across my bed, smiling, feeling very satisfied.

For once, I had won. And, boy, did it feel good.

Chapter Twenty-One

"It's not fair!" I declared again, to make absolutely sure mommy and daddy knew my position on the matter. Why I expected them to react any different now than any of the kazillion other times I'd protested, I don't know - I guess because I was a few days older than I had been the last time. Or maybe they'd just get tired of hearing me complain, and cave in. It worked sometimes... If only I had taken my bath a little later in the day - if could have persuaded mommy to let me - I might have been able to use my still wet hair as an excuse, but it was sadly already dry.

"No, it isn't," mommy agreed, somewhat surprisingly until she continued. "But you're going to do it anyway."

"But why?" I whined, eyes wide, sniffling. I knew better than to expect phenomenal results on mommy, since she was even more immune than Jen, but after my victory that afternoon, I was willing to give it a shot. It probably would have been a better idea to go after daddy, who was the weakest in my family; where was the sport in that, though?

"Because I said so," she answered simply, a response I still had no defense against, unfortunately. "And I'm the mommy. When you're the mommy, you can make the rules."

"When I am, I won't make my daughter go to bed, ever, unless she was tired," I proclaimed, in the hopes that they might consider taking my theoretical lead.

"I'm sure you won't," mommy smiled, bending over to kiss my forehead. "Now go brush your teeth."

"Fine." I gave a sad, persecuted sigh as I unfolded my legs from underneath me and slid off the couch, my jumper's skirt fluttering. Jen glanced up from the book she was reading to watch me make my slow way across the living room, stopping to pick up my coloring book and crayons from the floor where I'd left them a few minutes earlier to go curl up next to mommy for the end of whatever television show they had switched to after Jeopardy and set them down on my desk before changing into my pajamas and going back down the hall.

I shut the bathroom door behind me, climbed up onto my footstool so I could pull open the mirror and get my toothpaste off of the shelf behind it. My reflection stared back at me as the mirror swung closed again, so I smiled at it, since it was getting put to bed way too early as well. You had to stick together in times like this. It looked like she had eaten chocolate cake earlier, too, and still had a few crumbs in between her teeth. Nothing was sweeter after victory than whipped cream, and nothing was better for under that than chocolate cake. I could feel my mouth water just thinking about it.

I squeezed out a little blob of toothpaste onto my toothbrush, making extra sure to hold it steady while I set the tube down on the edge of the sink. Mommy had told me before, quite a few times, that I was supposed to brush for at least two minutes. Since I had no idea how long that was, however, I generally just took as long as I could stand before starting to go out of my mind with boredom.

I dragged my feet on the way back to my room, listening to the sound of the television floating in from the living room. It wasn't anything interesting, just people talking. Mommy and daddy really need to learn to watch more interesting shows, I decided, shaking my head, pushing my door open, hardly even recalling that it shouldn't have been that closed.

I jumped and gave a loud gasp when I saw Jen sitting on my bed, smiling, the diaper bag sitting on the floor in front of her. My tummy began to sink as I quickly closed my door, getting the bad feeling that this was the reason Jen had hidden the bag, along with the Diaper Genie, in my closet instead of hers, as she had the afternoon before.

"I just think it would be easier to have them in here," she'd claimed, pretending to be innocent; I was much better at it. "At least during the week."

And I had been in too good a mood to argue with her, or suspect her motives, or do much of anything other than nod at the last part - mommy still liked to pick out my clothes for church, so having the diaper bag in with most of my good clothes would be a patently awful idea.

"There's my little Penni," Jen grinned. "Almost all ready for bed."

"What are you doing?" I asked nervously, still standing with my back against the door, not wanting to get any closer.

"Well," Jen began, her voice getting all condescending, like she was explaining something to a baby, which, I guess in her mind, she was, "I thought it would be a good idea for you to wear diapers a night, because babies sometimes have accidents when they're asleep."

"I am not a baby!" I hissed at her, barely keeping myself from yelling it, and bringing mommy and daddy to see what was the matter.

"Maybe so, maybe not," Jen shrugged casually, like she didn't particularly care one way or the other. "Don't worry, I'll tuck you in, and I'll come in and change you before breakfast. Mom and dad will never notice."

"Jen, c'mon..." I sniffled, making my eyes big.

She ignored it, spread out my changing pad on my bed and, when I stayed glued to my door, walked over and picked me up, ignoring my struggles as she laid me down and stripped me of my pajama shorts and underwear, taping me up into my diaper quickly, before I could squirm away from her, or she she said, laughing, although I was pretty sure I was never in any danger of escaping.

"Maybe you should just go to bed like that," she glanced me over thoughtfully, smile cracking her face at my look of indignation. "What? You'll be tucked in by the time mom and dad come in, they'll never see that you don't have your bottoms on."

I furrowed my brows and snatched at them, only to have them pulled out of my reach easily. "Calm down," she soothed, pulling them over my feet and up over my padded butt. "There you go!" She smiled as she started to put my changing supplies away, hiding the bag once more while I climbed under my covers sulkily, diaper crinkling with every movement. How were mommy and daddy -not- going to notice that?! This was a bad plan; I could feel it.

"Goodnight, babe," Jen cooed, kissing my forehead and getting a kiss on the cheek from me before she started straightening out my blankets, tucking them in gently. She was almost done when she was interrupted by a light tap on the door. My eyes shot up, staring at her worriedly, but she was smiling, without a care in the world. "Come in!"

"What are you girls up to?" mommy asked, pushing open the door.

"Just tucking her in, mom," Jen said innocently.

"Oh, really?" Mommy's eyebrow raised for a moment, and I was sure we were caught.

"Yeah, she asked me to, so how could I say no?" Jen gave a quick giggle and kissed me again, this time on the tip of the nose.

Mommy smiled. "I'm glad the two of you made up."

"Me, too," Jen grinned, slipped out of my room, leaving me alone with mommy. I stared up at her, having to force myself not to start chewing on my bottom lip, or, preferably, my fingernails, although I didn't dare move my arms in order to do that, in case I brushed against my bottom.

"Sweet dreams, Penni," mommy said quietly, her voice tinkling like a pretty bell in a light breeze. I smiled, gave her a kiss and got one back, and then she was gone, flipping on my night light before she left. After a few seconds, daddy was there, but he left even more quickly than her, turning off my lights and shutting the door after saying goodnight, not giving any indication that he noticed anything strange.

Well, that wasn't too hard, I thought with a relieved sigh, rolling over to see Mrs. Ellenstofalix, a little more scary looking by night light, but still harmless enough to cuddle with as I drifted off to sleep, almost able to forget about the diaper between my legs while my eyes closed, dropping me off into darkness.

When they opened again, they were invaded by light, glittering all around me, shining down from the chandeliers above as they gently spun around in lazy circles in the air.

I straightened my gloves nervously, tummy feeling rather queasy as I prepared to cross the ballroom floor, much more crowded than it had been on my last visit there. I should have just gotten the job done then, I berated myself, even if both the moon and Jen had been there, scheming and laughing. It would have been much easier that way, but, hey, what can you do? The life of a hero isn't an easy one - if it was, there would be a whole lot more of them.

A blush colored my cheeks as I stepped forward, accompanied by a loud crinkling, and nearly falling over from the unexpected thickness under my dress. I ducked down behind a table frantically, lifting the skirt of my dress, much shorter than it had been at the last ball, with more ruffles and ribbons, though still pink.

A smiling blue dog stared out at me, printed on a big, plastic garment that I recognized right away, but took a few blinks for me to begin to accept. Why was I wearing a diaper, especially here, when I was trying to be sneaky? What was I thinking?

But it was too late to do anything about it now, I realized with a sigh, smoothing my skirt back out. And besides, the padding around my bottom was starting to give me an idea that just might work, if I was careful...

I started to stand up, quickly ducked back down as I spotted a group of guards approaching my table from several different directions, holding my breath in the hopes that it would help them to forget they had seen me, if they indeed had. It seemed to work, as they stopped right in front of the table and began talking, low and hurried, too quiet for me to make out anything more than the general idea, which was that they were supposed to be finding someone.

Yeah, that would be me, I was sure. I swallowed nervously, waiting for them to move away before standing, walking around the table to join the crowd,my progress slowed by the waddle I was developing in an effort to deal with the diaper. I spotted Dr. Irvine through the crowd, playing with his scalpel idly and glancing around boredly, every once in a while walking up to some random person and asking them something, only to be rejected.

I made sure to walk the opposite way, making my way through the crowd easily - even if there were a lot of people, they were grown-ups, and so slipping by unnoticed wasn't too difficult. I had almost made it to the table I was sure stood over the stars' prison when I felt my arm brushing up against somebody's hand. I turned hurriedly, stomach trying to transform into a pretzel when I saw who it was.

Mommy.

I froze to the spot, remembering the last time, how she'd tried to take me away before I could finish my mission. Would she do that again?

But she was deep in conversation, chattering away with Mr. Chaon, apparently about how awful my grades were, and how that meant I should repeat second grade, or maybe go all the way back to kindergarten just in case, instead of going on to third, and didn't even seem to notice me. I began to inch away quietly when I saw her nose twitch.

"I say, do you smell baby powder?" she asked after a moment.

Mr. Chaon sniffed the air, too. "Yes, I believe I do. Rather strange, that, isn't it?"

Mommy nodded. "Indeed. Now, you were saying she couldn't possibly have done any worse in math?"

Mr. Chaon shook his head slightly, though not to disagree. "I could absolutely swear I smell it now. Whatever could it be?"

I ducked under a table, cheeks burning, sniffling softly. They had to let me go to third grade... Didn't they? I didn't even think I'd done that badly in math, no worse than some other people in my class. I certainly didn't want to go back to kindergarten - there would be no end to the teasing that would cause, not ever.

"Is that you, Penni?" The voice was small, frightened, far away, but, thankfully almost right below me.

"It's me," I assured it, and all the other captives, quickly, reaching behind me to lift the tablecloth enough to see where the hole started. "I'm here to rescue you all." I let myself grin for a moment as they began to cheer, before quieting them down. I held my breath, swinging my legs in front of me, dangling them down into the pit. I tried not to look down - it was a long way to the bottom, but I should be fine, just as long as I landed on my diaper.

"Well, here goes nothing," I breathed, closing my eyes as I slid forward, scooting across the ballroom floor for a few inches, and then out into open space. I braced myself for the impact, muscles tensing all through my body.

I came to a stop much more quickly than I expected. Much, much more quickly. I opened one of my eyes a crack, glancing down to see that I was still a long way from the bottom. I opened it a little further, curiously, and found that, while I was small enough to fit through the bars, my diaper was far too thick.

"No," I whispered, tears starting to flow down my cheeks, splashing down onto my dress, a few making it past and falling down, down, into the pit below. I wriggled frantically, even though I could tell it was hopeless, and I wouldn't be going down or back up on my own. I was stuck, pure and simple. "No!" I screamed, starting to bang my fists on the bars around me, not caring if the people outside heard. I deserved to be caught for being so stupid; and it wasn't like it wouldn't happen eventually anyway, now.

I was still crying when light flooded into my prison, accompanied by a face. "Why, Penni, I don't believe you belong down there," he said thoughtfully, musing over it for a second. "How can we get your surgeries done if you're underneath the table?"

"Dr. Irvine!" I squeaked.

"Yes, yes, very good," he nodded, reaching down and grabbing me under my arms, pulling me free with a sound like a plug being pulled from a drain. "Good to see you remember me." He stood up, laid me out on the top of the table, not even bothering to move the food this time. I could see my bottom sinking into a bowl of applesauce, and my arm was right in the middle of a large platter of cake, but it was white, and boring, so I didn't feel too bad about it. "Now, this is much better," Dr. Irvine nodded his approval.

"Please let me go," I begged, clasping my gloved hands in front of me. "I promise I'll be a good girl next time I come to see you, I really will, and I'm sorry about the time I hit you and called you evil, but please let me go this time, please..."

"There's no time like the present," he admonished. "Besides, this will only take a minute, you know."

"But I think I need my organs," I protested.

"Pish posh," he waved his hand dismissively. "We're not worried about those today. Most babies have them, after all, and since it turns out that's all you are, you might as well keep them."

My tummy started to twist as my mouth moved against my will, asking the question I knew I didn't want to answer to. "Then what -are- you doing?"

"We're going to fix that nasty problem you have of walking around," he informed me, holding up his scalpel and turning it this way and that in the light. "Babies like you are meant to crawl, but you seem to have forgotten that." He paused, smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, we can get that taken care of right quick!"

I started to squirm as he bent down, blade aimed towards my stomach, although I wasn't sure how cutting anything there would stop me from walking. Suddenly, an inch away, he paused, turned.

"I'm sorry, but that is my patient," Dr. Hugo said stiffly. "You'll kindly step away and let me get to work."

"I'm afraid I saw her first, so I get to work on her first. It's only fair, you know."

Dr. Hugo shook his head, eyes narrowing. "She is mine first, doctor. I need to remove her teeth as soon as possible, so she can go back to eating baby food. You can surely wait until after that is done."

"I hardly think that is more important than keeping her from walking," Dr. Irvine scoffed. "Now leave me alone."

But Dr. Hugo refused, reached into his pocket to pull out his mirror on a stick. Dr. Irvine's eyebrow raised. "A challenge, eh?" He held out his scalpel, and the two of them began to circle each other warily.

I watched for a few seconds, making sure they were focusing on each other, before sitting up, brushing cake from my elbow. Before I could even swing my legs around so I could slide off of the table, I felt something getting stuffed into my mouth, a rough hand pushing me back on the table.

"Now, now, be a good baby," Jen cooed. I felt myself sucking on the pacifier Jen had been lamenting not buying before I realized it, found I couldn't get myself to stop. I stared up at her with big, frightened eyes, as she pulled out a strap, and then another, and another, from the side of the table, and began to fasten me down, helpless. She watched me squirming ineffectively, a wicked smile on her face, then turned to the two doctors.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, calm down," she soothed them, in much the same way she talked to me. They turned to look at her, Dr. Irvine's glasses askew, the sleeve of Dr. Hugo's coat halfway falling off his arm. "Why don't you both work on her at the same time?" Their expressions were doubtful, as if that were an absolutely preposterous proposition, until she pointed out, "Her teeth and her feet are at opposite ends of her body, after all."

"Oh," Dr. Irvine coughed, straightening his glasses. "She -is- right..."

"I suppose she is," Dr. Hugo nodded.

I began to struggle against the straps frantically, still sucking on my pacifier, trying to figure out some way to get free, some way to get loose, and run away.

And then I was. My bonds came free, and I sat up, ready to dash away as fast as I could, while my legs still worked, until I noticed that the room had gotten much darker, and a good bit smaller. I blinked a couple times, disoriented, then removed my thumb from my mouth with a deep blush.

I looked down at myself, giving a relieved sigh to see that I was wearing my pajamas again, although the fact that I was diapered underneath them left me baffled for a few seconds until the memory of Jen sitting on my bed came back to me. At which point I quickly laid back down, pulling my blankets up to my chin even though I could see through my window that the sun had already risen, and it was time to get up.

I started to reach up to check my mouth, to make sure my teeth were still there, stopped myself by recalling my revelation of a couple days before. That wasn't me in the dream - it was the other Penni, the one that belonged here in the mirror world. But why had she been wearing diapers? And why had she mentioned hitting Dr. Irvine, when that had been something I had done when I was really little?

I sank down further under my covers, wishing Jen would get up soon, as I could feel the urge to pee growing, as much as I tried to ignore it. I guess I could have gotten up and went to the bathroom, but what if I ran into mommy or daddy on the way to the bathroom? So I waited, fidgeting, trying to figure out this mystery.

Perhaps when I dreamed, I was somehow taking the place of the Penni in the real world. I wasn't quite sure how that worked, but, as it was the only explanation that seemed to make any sense, I decided that must be it. The other Penni would never have let herself get caught like that... I hoped she could find a way out. I felt bad for leaving her in such big trouble, but I hadn't realized what I was doing. Besides, she would be better at escaping than I would.

Where was Jen? I craned my neck to look at the door nervously. If she didn't hurry up, mommy and daddy would come in and see why I was still in bed. If I hadn't been so worried about them seeing me, I would have just ran across the hall and woke Jen up myself, but, even though Jen's room was only a few feet away, I couldn't bring myself to risk it.

So I waited. And waited. I started to chew my nails nervously, worried Jen had forgotten about me, or wanted me to get caught. "Stop staring at me," I hissed at Mrs. Ellenstofalix, who was looking very disappointed in me. "I'll bite my nails if I want to, so you just shut up." And I threw her behind me, just to show her who was the boss. Even if she was the only thing I felt like I had control over at the moment.

By the time Jen came into my room, yawning, my diaper was soaked. I just couldn't hold it anymore, and I still couldn't make myself so much as get out from under my blankets, protecting me from staring eyes.

"'Morning," she smiled sleepily, shutting the door and sitting next to me on the bed, ruffling my hair playfully. "You have a nice, wet diaper for me to change?"

"Yes," I sulked, pouting.

Jen giggled at me. "Oh, don't look so grumpy. I probably wouldn't have let you out of bed until you did, anyway. This just makes it easier for both of us."

"Nuh-uh!" I protested, though I'm not sure why I had a difficult time thinking she would do something like that, after everything else.

"Well," she winked, bending over to kiss my nose before standing up, heading to the closet, "why don't we try again tonight if you don't believe me? I mean, if you can't keep your pants dry for this long, maybe you should be in diapers after all."

"If you didn't sleep so long, I could've made it to the bathroom on time, easy," I protested, crossing my arms.

"I'm sure you could," she called back to me, her voice all sing-songy, playful, unbelievable.

"I could," I pouted, letting her lift me free of my covers and set me down on the changing pad, sliding down my pajama bottoms. "I'm not a baby."

"Of course you're not," she cooed, smiling down at my soggy diaper. "Not at all."

Elizabeth

Chapter Twenty-Two

I squeaked loudly, leaping to my feet, as if that would help me to escape from the wet feeling growing around my bottom, and now flowing down my legs. "Dang it!" I pouted, staring down at the damp spot on my shorts, and the floor below me. I -knew- I shouldn't have drank so much at breakfast. And I knew I shouldn't have put off going to get my diaper changed, but I had been so engrossed in my book, a little squishiness was a small price to pay. I sulked, blushing even though, thankfully, there was nobody else around to witness this humiliation.

If Nadine had been there... I shuddered at the thought, the images in my mind of Nadine laughing and blabbering about just how much of a baby I really was just about as bad as the real thing. Even though I wasn't entirely sure I didn't deserve her mocking for this. I certainly felt like a baby, standing there in my wet things, feeling like I'd just had my accident again, the accident that had started this whole mess.

And, just like that accident, I was going to end up depending on Jen to fix it, I knew. There was really no way around it; not that I particularly wanted to deal with my soggy clothes myself, but on principle, I knew I should, if I was half as grown-up as I had thought I was at one point. Big girls weren't supposed to go running to their older sisters to fix everything.

Of course, big girls weren't supposed to have these sorts of accidents, either. I could remember earlier that year when one of the girls in my class, who I hadn't particularly liked anyway, had wet her pants at school. I hadn't made fun of her, like a lot of the other kids did, until Mr. Chaon scolded them, and ushered the girl away, even though Nadine had tried to get me to. Still, I also hadn't tried to do anything to help her, and, in my mind, I was laughing at her with everyone else. I couldn't help but wonder if this was my punishment for that.

It had to be a punishment for something, in the grand scheme of things. Even if the moon hates you, and your sister is convinced you're only about half as old as you really are, these sorts of things just didn't happen.

At least not in the real world.

I contemplated putting off my journey home, but the uncomfortableness of my pants outweighed my reluctance to let myself be seen by anyone. So I climbed down the ladder, squeezed out the door, trudged back home, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland clasped in one hand. It had been a nice morning, too, for the most part, once Jen had taken off my diaper from the night before and we went out to the kitchen for our breakfast.

It was French toast, the very best kind of toast there is, especially the way mommy makes it, with a swirl of cinnamon sugar, a little dollop of whipped cream, and half a strawberry on top, all pretty, and yummy. I must have been feeling rather hungry, not to mention thirsty, after my misadventure in the ballroom, because I finished off two pieces before I realized it, and half of a third.

Jen had painted my nails again, much sooner than never, as I'd been expecting. She chose the color herself this time, but at least she did a good job - pink, with glitter so that it was all sparkly. I couldn't recall ever seeing Jen wear it; it was really cute, though. Jen told me I could have it, once mommy said I could paint my nails.

Also, I had gotten lucky, and found the barn empty, after spending a while wandering around the field just in case. I'd even picked some flowers, mostly honeysuckle, some daisies, although I was most of the way home before I remembered setting them on the overturned bucket Nadine sat on sometimes so I could take them home for when mommy got home from work. By then, I realized how much hotter it had gotten outside, and just wanted to get into my nice, air conditioned house. The flowers would still be there tomorrow, unless Nadine went over later on and stole them.

And the next day was Saturday, too, so I wouldn't even have to wait for her to get home to give them to her! And since she would be home, that meant I wouldn't even have to wear diapers! If I hadn't felt so icky, and if I wasn't approaching Caileigh and Nadine's house, I probably would have skipped the rest of the way home, heart lightened by these happy thoughts.

As it was, I slowed down instead, not wanting to attract any extra attention as I slipped through their backyard. I was most of the way across by the time I worked up the courage to look over at the porch, although by then it was a little late, I suppose. Still, I was glad I waited so long, as it meant I didn't have nearly as far to run to get back inside my own house when my eyes locked with Nadine's.

She was sitting on a chair on the back porch, sulking. Then she saw me. Her eyes went as wide as mine, and she jumped up from the chair, heading back inside, a split second before I took off. It wasn't until I was ducking inside my back door, leaning against it with a rapidly pounding heart, that I realized there was something different about her, something familiar, in an odd sort of way.

As I let my head hang for a second, to help me catch my breath, my eyes caught on the sight of my wet shorts, and I realized what it was. Had her shorts been a little puffier than usual, like mine? I couldn't remember for sure, but as I thought on it, I could have sworn I saw a little band of white plastic sticking up above the waist of her shorts. The thought would have made me much happier if not for the state of my pants that made me wonder if she hadn't been right to call me a baby after all.

"What's wrong with you?" Jen asked, too preoccupied with making lunch to even glance over at me until the question was out of her mouth. "Oh, honey..." she sighed as she saw me, blushing and staring down at my feet, wishing I was anywhere but there. "Well, just wait there a minute and I'll take care of it, okay?"

I nodded, but she was already focusing on the pans again, stirring one around, poking at the other. I couldn't quite tell what they smelled like - a bunch of stuff. I felt happy to see her flip the contents of the second pan, though, revealing them to be a tortilla. After another minute or two, during which I started to get bored of watching her cook and started fidgeting unhappily, she lifted the tortilla again, setting it onto a plate I hadn't noticed before, where a few others waited. She switched both the burners off, wiped off her hands, turned back to me.

"Poor Penni," she smiled sympathetically down at me, bending down to pick me up, carrying me through the house, but not, as much as it surprised me, to my room. We ended up in the bathroom instead, where Jen set me down on the toilet lid, sliding my wet shorts off of me and setting them down on the floor, while she retrieved my washcloth from the little rod inside the bathtub, dripped a little water from the sink's faucet onto it, then washed off my legs.

"I didn't realize my baby sister was a waterfall," she teased, smiling up at me as she used my towel to dry off my legs, trying to cheer me up. I just kept pouting, all the way until she started tickling the bottoms of my feet, at which point I couldn't exactly help myself, since that was cheating, as I made sure to tell her. "Sorry," she grinned insincerely. "Well, let's go get that diaper changed, huh?"

She reached out for me, but I scooted back bashfully. "Umm... Not yet." She cocked her head, attempting to figure me out, like staring at me from another angle would help.

"Sweetie, you're soaked. I'm pretty sure you need a new diaper."

I glared at her - did she think I didn't know that? I was the one wearing it! "I don't want to stay in this one," I informed her, rolling my eyes like she was so fond of doing at me.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Then...?"

I gave a long suffering sigh, wondering if she could really be this dense, or if she was trying to torment me on purpose. "I don't want to have a new diaper yet, either, 'cause..." The fire in my cheeks drowned out the rest of my words even as I came up with them.

"Why's that?" She blinked innocently, but I could see a smile forming on her lips against her will.

"Jeeen!" I whined, getting even more agitated as the smile fully emerged.

"Since I don't know what you want, babe, maybe I should just get you changed, and... Well, we can deal with whatever happens," she winked deviously.

"You're mean," I told her, sniffling, not even acting.

"Aww, I know I am," she cooed, picking me up. I blushed as I turned my head, saw the wet spot on the toilet lid, just for a split second before Jen wiped it up with my washcloth, which was set on top of my shorts, before I was whisked off to my room, where, luckily, the changing pad was still set up from that morning, ready for my soggy bottom to be sat on top of it.

"Jen, c'mon," I pouted as she pushed me down onto my back, fishing a new diaper out of the bag and setting it down next to me.

"I'm going just as fast as I can," she said, un-taping my diaper and pulling it away from my bottom. "I know you can't wait to get into a nice, dry diaper."

I couldn't believe this - how could she do this to me? How could I be such a chicken that I was letting it happen? The day had started off so good, too, and now I couldn't imagine a way it could get worse, after a leak, and the promise of an imminent messy diaper. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks, but didn't pay much attention, instead concentrating on the cold feeling of the baby wipes against me, and then the pause that came from Jen feeding the genie, just waiting to feel myself being lifted up, set down onto the new diaper.

It didn't come. Instead, I heard Jen laughing, and I opened my eyes, without remembering having closed them. "Go on," she smiled, lifting me to my feet. I glared at her for a minute, first suspiciously, then angrily, before I took her advice and returned to the bathroom. I considered staying in there the rest of the day, so I wouldn't have to deal with any more of her evil, awful little jokes, but, since there wasn't a lock on this door, either, I knew my solitude wouldn't last long.

So I went back out, let myself get diapered by a still grinning Jen, who declared that there was really no need to find a new pair of shorts for me to wear, since I would be taking my nap soon, and since I supposedly looked so adorable in just a diaper and shirt.

"Besides," she said, giving my tummy a quick tickle as she stood me up next to the bed, "I think we both already know you have this on." She gave my bottom a quick, crinkly pat, giggled. "Why try to hide it?"

I thought the worst was probably over when I walked to the living room, flopping down onto the couch while Jen took stuff downstairs, to the washing machine. I even convinced myself that, now that Jen had all that out of her system, she might even be nice, and not make me take a nap, even if she had just mentioned it not too long before.

I heard her messing around in the kitchen, didn't think much of it as I flipped through the channels quickly, before she could come in and turn on the boring old news. But there was nothing good on, just a bunch of commercials for stupid stuff, so I saved Jen some trouble, switching to the station she liked, mostly, from what I could tell, because the weather guy was cute, or so I had overheard her tell Caileigh.

"Here you go, babe," Jen smiled sweetly as she came into the living room, having a little difficulty balancing everything until she handed me two things. The first I was expecting - my plate, covered with a tortilla, still unrolled, since she knew I liked to do that myself, a line of sliced chicken and cheese going down the center, surrounded by green peppers, mushrooms, and the occasional onion, none of which I liked much on their own, but which I could stand together, if only because eating things wrapped up in tortillas was fun, almost no matter what they were. Except for baked beans. Not even that could make them edible.

The second I wasn't expecting, and wished I could have believed was a joke.

"I'm not drinking from that," I informed her, shoving it away from me, onto the couch. She quickly picked the bottle back up and shoved it at me, until I finally, begrudgingly, took it from her, still resolved not to use it.

"You don't have to drink it right now," she shrugged. "But I would if I were you, unless you like warm juice."

I slumped further down into the couch cushion with a pout. "Why are you doing this?"

She smiled, bending over to kiss my forehead, which made me pout more. "Because I found it in the attic earlier today," she explained cheerfully. "Lucky, huh? I didn't think mom had kept any of your bottles."

I decided not to tell her just how lucky I thought it was, since I had resolved neither to talk to her, or touch the bottle. Jen didn't seem to notice, or mind, either one, until we had finished eating. I took even longer than normal, moodily picking out the few onions that remained in my tortilla - I was pretty sure Jen had done her best to get as few as she could into mine, since they were my least favorite, but that wasn't good enough for me.

"I expect you to finish that bottle by the time mom gets home," she said as she took my plate, saw the still full bottle sitting next to me.

I folded my arms, glared at her angrily. I guess I was hoping she would pick up on my unhappiness and take that back, let me have a drink in a normal cup.

Instead, she shook her head. "Being a cranky baby today, huh? Well, then, off to bed with you."

I gasped, pouted, glared again at the unfairness. "I'm not tired!" I yelled, picking up my stupid bottle and throwing it at her. "And I don't want that dumb bottle, either!"

Jen rolled her eyes, set my plate back down on the couch, exchanging it for me, squirming and thrashing, and the bottle, which she shoved into my hands. Twice, in fact, more roughly the second time, as I dropped it as soon as she gave it to me the first. "Penni, behave yourself!" she scolded.

"Why?" I shot back at her, eyes burning with tears and anger. "I'm already being punished, why should I be good?!"

"You're not being punished," Jen sighed, laying me down on my bed. I rolled away from her immediately, stared at stupid Mrs. Ellenstofalix, grinning like she always did. "You'll feel better after your nap, you'll see." She gave my diaper a soft pat and set the bottle next to my dragon, who was too dumb to even try to bit off her hand, like she should have, then kissed the side of my head. "Sweet dreams, baby."

Of course I'd feel better after my nap, I thought grumpily. I wouldn't be in this stupid diaper then, and I'd have mommy home for the whole weekend to protect me from Jen. No diapers, or naps, or bottles, or anything.

I stared down at the bottle in disgust, though more at myself than it, since I knew I was thirsty, and not willing to risk Jen's wrath, were I to go back out into the kitchen for a real cup, like I should have had. I wrinkled my nose and picked up the bottle, sucking gently on it - just so I wouldn't die of thirst, that's all.

Although the juice did taste good. And I was pretty thirsty...

My eyes blinked open a couple hours later, an empty bottle sitting right in front of them. I rolled over onto my back, yawning, trying to figure out why I had woken up when I still felt so sleepy.

It only took me a second to figure that out, as my full bladder begged for release. I glanced down at myself to make sure Jen hadn't changed me already, and let go, just wanting to get it over with so I could go back to sleep. Except, once I had, I was feeling awake, at least enough to be aware of the squishy feeling around my bottom, and be bothered by it enough that I found myself tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position to get away from it, which was, of course, impossible.

I rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling with a sigh. Maybe if I got up and got Jen to change me, I could fall asleep again. However, getting up and moving around would wake me up even more...

Suddenly, as if detecting my thoughts, I heard footsteps rapidly approaching my door. I gasped, shut my eyes, not sure why, but deciding it would be a good idea. I heard my door open after a moment, and Jen entered, mumbling frantically under her breath, pausing only for a brief giggle I assumed was brought on by the sight of my wet diaper.

I heard the changing pad being spread out over my bed, felt myself being moved over onto it. For some reason, I was finding the whole thing kind of funny, and having a hard time stopping myself from laughing. Jen didn't seem to notice, luckily, as she quickly removed my diaper and cleaned me up. I was proud of myself for barely even flinching when the baby wipe touched my bottom, after dreading and bracing myself for it for what seemed like a year or two. I even covered up the flinch with a little yawn, and started to roll over onto my side, only to feel Jen's hands guiding me back onto my back so she could slip my panties and shorts back up my legs before I got moved back onto my pillows.

I let my eyes open a crack then, so I could see her grabbing the bottle and stuffing it into the diaper bag, then rush out of the room with that and the genie, returning with a bottle of something and a tissue. I closed my eyes again when she sat down beside me on the bed, before she could see they were open. There was a swish of liquid beside me, and then she grabbed my hand, and I felt something cold brushing across my fingertips.

I shivered, unable to help myself. My tummy began to tighten, sure she had noticed, but if she did, she didn't care, just went about her work, until the sound of mommy's car coming up the driveway greeted us. "Crap," she muttered under her breath as she roughly finished my second hand, then stood. I heard her feet running across my room, and my dresser opening, then a second later, something was getting pulled over my feet, and she was gone, tossing the bottle onto her bed and throwing the tissue away before greeting mommy in the living room.

I stayed still for a little longer, listening to them talking, trying to decipher their words, before sitting up and pulling off the socks to see that, sure enough, they still had their pretty paint on. I stared at them for a moment, debating, before I decided to chance it.

I hopped down off of my bed and stumbled into the living room, rubbing my eyes, trying to act like I'd just woken up. Mommy and Jen were sitting on the couch, so I squeezed between them, tilting my head up with a smile. "Hi, mommy!"

"Hi, sweetie," she smiled back down at me, giving me a kiss. "How was your day?"

"It was good," I answered innocently, letting my legs start to swing back and forth.

"That's good," she said, reaching up to run her hand down my hair, and continuing to talk about some boring thing or another, not paying any particular attention to me.

I tried to swing my legs further up, so my feet would be more noticeable, but that didn't work either, so, finally, I was forced to interrupt them. "Look at my pretty toes, mommy!" I demanded proudly.

She glanced down, her expression freezing for a brief moment that made me worry I had messed up, although I thought it might be worth it just for the shocked look on Jen's face. "Penni, why are your toes painted?"

"Jen did them for me," I told her, ignoring the angry poke from the other side that earned me. "Aren't they pretty?"

"Yes, they are," mommy agreed. "But we decided you weren't allowed to wear nail polish, remember?"

I glanced down with a blush. "But Jen said it was okay..."

I could practically feel mommy's glare as it passed over my head to Jen. "Did she now?"

"No, I didn't!" Jen interjected, obviously searching for something else to add.

Mommy lifted my chin with one of her fingers, looking me in the eyes. "Penni, are you telling the truth?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed, trying to sound offended. Mommy nodded, looked at Jen pointedly.

Jen was starting to squirm now, struggling to find a way out of this. "Well, I did paint them, but..."

"But what, Jen?" mommy urged patiently. "Are you going to tell me your little sister - who is, what, a third your size? - forced you to paint her toenails for her?"

Jen's mouth opened and closed a couple times, looking quite funny, although I made myself keep from giggling.

"Penni, why don't you go play in your room a minute?" mommy asked, her voice making it more of a command than a suggestion. "I think Jen and I need to have a talk about overruling my decisions without consulting me."

"Okay, mommy," I chirped sweetly, bouncing down off of the couch.

As I left the living room, I turned and, making sure mommy was focused on my target and not me, stuck out my tongue at Jen, who glared daggers at me. Sure, I might not get to wear nail polish again for a while now, but I could live with that. This was what Jen got for making me drink from a bottle.

I was -not- a stupid little baby, no matter what she thought.

Chapter Twenty-Three

My revenge did cost me in the end. It earned me a diaper under my pajamas that night, although I couldn't help but wonder if Jen would have done that anyway, even without me provoking her.

And, anyway, it was definitely worth it, since it cost Jen a trip to the movies with her friends she had been planning for that weekend. That made me feel a little bad, to be honest, until I reminded myself of everything she'd done to me lately. Then I was sure she deserved it, along with the big, long lecture she'd gotten from mommy.

Still, as the weekend wore on, I began to worry that Jen wasn't quite finished with her revenge, not that she really deserved any, since I had only been paying her back. I doubted she saw it that way, however, and began to dread that Monday, dreaming up all the horrible possibilities the day could bring with it.

So it had been kind of disappointing, though in a good way, when it came and went without any major incidents, other than Jen cutting herself while making lunch, but I didn't even see that, since I was still at the barn, reading. Tuesday went by without Jen making any attempts to do anything particularly awful to me - she was still making me drink from the stupid bottle, however.

I saw an occasional flash of Nadine here and there those couple days, for no more than a second or two, though each time sharpened my suspicions that she was, indeed, wearing a diaper. I almost felt sorry for her, perhaps even could have if her sister was Jen and not Caileigh. Caileigh was too nice; I doubted she would do anything horrible to Nadine, like make her eat in a high chair. Of course, I wasn't sure how well Nadine would fit into a high chair, but that wasn't the point.

Besides, I was pretty sure Caileigh was better at changing diapers, too. I -almost- wouldn't mind wearing them, if it was for her and not Jen. Almost.

Wednesday started off like the first two days of the week had, hot and boring as I ate breakfast, scrambled eggs, which wasn't my favorite by any means, but I did my best to finish as much as I could, or at least spread them around on my plate so it would look like I had.

When mommy spoke up, I thought for sure it was going to be to scold me for playing with my food, but her voice was more cheerful than scolding, and probably more aimed at Jen. "So, do you two have any big plans for today?"

I started to shake my head, got interrupted by Jen. "Yep, we're going shopping," she announced.

I looked up at her, surprised. "We are?"

She rolled her eyes. "I told you yesterday, remember? We're going out with Caileigh." The "and Nadine" that should have proceeded that was left unspoken - Caileigh had probably told Jen what I had confessed about Nadine.

"Well, I'm sure you'll have a great time," mommy smiled, turning to face me. "Stop playing with your food, Penni."

Even though I wasn't sure it should count as playing, since I wasn't having much in the way of fun, I obeyed anyway, although I didn't really eat anymore after that, either. My tummy was feeling full enough,and what places weren't were filling up with anxiety. Nadine had been running away from me lately, but I knew better than to think that meant she was afraid of me.

I was certainly right about that. When Caileigh and Nadine showed up, I was sitting on my bed, tying my shoes while Jen readied the diaper bag, although I wasn't sure what she really needed to do with it, since it already had everything in it, and herself, I guess, after having been dressed in my purple denim jumper, glad that Jen had been nice and chosen that one rather than the yellow and pink one again, with a light and dark purple striped shirt underneath it. Jen had considered putting me in tights, as well, but I managed to convince her it was too hot out for that, and eventually she agreed.

Caileigh went straight to Jen's room as soon as she heard the shout to "Come in!", and Nadine, rather than hiding again, came right into mine, dressed rather similarly to me on my first diapered trip into town, with a long green shirt that hung down well past her bottom, although it looked much prettier and more grown-up than my kitten T-shirt. And, rather than jeans underneath, she had on black shorts, with just a few inches of the legs showing, due to the length of the shirt.

She hopped up onto my bed, glaring at me dangerously. "If you ever, ever tell anybody about this, you are -so- going to regret it," she growled quietly. I scooted away from her, glad for our big sisters being right across the hall, since I had a feeling I would be regretting it already.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I whispered, doing my best to sound sincere. I just wasn't very good at outright lying, especially with someone who was obviously not pleased with me.

If her eyes had suddenly started shooting fire at me, I couldn't have felt more uncomfortable, as I squirmed nervously under her gaze. She didn't say anything; she didn't have to. I knew that she could tell I was lying, so I just swallowed, went back to tying my shoes, trying to ignore her as best I could, knowing she wouldn't dare do anything too bad to me here.

"This is all your fault," she hissed behind me, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, in a way I had never felt before. I had heard the phrase used before, of course, but I always figured it was one of those things grown-ups said that wasn't really anything at all like what really happened. Guess I was wrong. "If you weren't such a baby that Jen had to make you wear diapers, this never would have happened."

I bit down on my bottom lip, doing my best to push her words out of my mind, to fool myself into thinking they weren't true. This whole thing had started because of something pretty babyish, though, and the only person I could blame it on was working with Jen already, and Nadine thought I was crazy for being afraid of. I'd never really mentioned the moon's evil schemes to Caileigh - she might actually believe me, but I didn't want him to start going after her, too.

I sniffled softly, a little surprised to see a tear falling down, past my shoe, splashing down onto the floor below. I heard Nadine snickering behind me, hearing already her voice mocking me, asking if she'd hurt the baby's feelings, or did I need a change? I turned on her, another tear starting to make its way down my cheek, although I was resolved it would be the last one.

"I didn't make you do all those things to me. If you weren't such a meanie, you never would have had to wear diapers," I whispered, my voice sounding pleasantly stronger than I'd expected.

"Then maybe you shouldn't make it so easy to be a 'meanie'... Tattle tale," she stuck out her tongue.

Luckily for me, Caileigh broke in then, sticking her head in the door, diaper bag that looked surprisingly similar to mine swinging off of her shoulder, keeping me from having to form a reply to that, since I couldn't quite deny having told on her. "Whatcha doing?" she asked, her smile turning a little shy as she looked at me.

"Nothing," I answered quickly, Nadine echoing me a second later.

"Well, we're just about ready to go," she informed us. "You get your shoes tied?"

I nodded, although the answer was actually, "Almost."

"Jen went to get the car started and cooled off some," Caileigh explained. "I'm gonna go get a glass of water before we leave, all right?"

I nodded, she left, and after a few minutes, I glanced over at Nadine, who seemed a bit less angry than before. "Your diaper bag looks just like mine," I said, voice nearly casual.

"That's because it -is- yours, dummy; we have to share," she rolled her eyes. "My parents didn't keep all my baby stuff like yours did. I guess they actually realized they wouldn't be needing it anymore, since I'm not a baby."

"Guess they were wrong," I stuck out my tongue, then quickly hopped off the bed and raced towards the kitchen before Nadine could do anything about it, nearly running straight into Caileigh, who was setting an empty glass down on the counter.

"I don't think you're supposed to be running in the house," she reminded me, though she was giggling as she did it, so I don't think she minded. "Ready to go?"

She smiled as I nodded, leading us outside, out to the running car. She got to sit in the front seat, so Nadine and I had to share the back, diaper bag sitting in between us. Nadine would glare at me over it every few minutes, prompting me to find my feet incredibly interesting for a while. Our big sisters didn't seem to notice our lack of conversation, talking enough for the whole carful of us.

By the time we got to Wal-Mart, I was certain it had gotten at least a hundred degrees hotter than when we got into the car. "It's soooo hot," I complained, leaning against Jen's side pitifully, not caring about Nadine's soft snickering behind me, because it was true. I could practically feel myself melting as I stood there, growing shorter and shorter, until I was the same size as that little toddler in the mall, and then even smaller, until there was nothing left.

And we hadn't even started moving yet. The doors looked like they were a million miles away - I wondered if Jen was trying to park as far away as she could on purpose.

"Sorry, babe, there's not a lot I can do about it," she shrugged, though as she turned away from me, I saw her eyes light up. "Unless..."

I followed her line of sight, saw the shopping carts, sitting all stacked up against one another. I thought about it for a second, but not any more. "Okay!" I said quickly, before she could change her mind. At least it would be better than getting carried through the store again, or trying to keep up with everyone else's longer legs, although I knew Caileigh at least would go slower for me, if she thought my legs were feeling tired.

Besides, it wasn't -too- babyish, or at least I hoped not. I didn't do it nearly as often as I used to, but mommy would still offer every once in a while.

Jen smiled as she picked me up, resting one hand on my diapered bottom and giving it a pat or two as we walked over to the shopping carts and she pulled one out, sliding me down into it. "Hey, Caileigh, do we need two?" she called over her shoulder.

I giggled at the blush that suddenly appeared across Nadine's face, as she quickly asserted, "I can walk!"

Caileigh must have agreed, since she shrugged, said, "We don't need very much," as she walked over and set the diaper bag down into the cart, straightening out my skirt, which I hadn't noticed had risen up some as I was set down, allowing a peek of my diaper.

It was my turn to be giggled at as I blushed, from two different people, one trying to hide it so as not to get in trouble, the other pretending she hadn't so she could sound all upset. "You're ruining all my fun," Jen teased Caileigh, shoving her lightly on the shoulder.

The trip to the door was much easier, now that all I had to do was sit back and relax, taking some satisfaction in watching Nadine's face starting to turn red as she worked to keep up with Jen and Caileigh, her diaper slowing her down.

My head was also a good bit higher than normal, and it was kind of fun just getting to look around at things I didn't usually see at this angle. I was busy looking around, as we stepped forward through the first set of doors, when I happened to notice something on one of the big message board hanging on the wall.

"Look, look!" I exclaimed, pointing over towards it, before Jen just wheeled past.

"What is it, babe?" she asked, bringing the cart to a stop and looking at me.

"Look!" I repeated, jabbing my finger towards the board, and, more importantly, the poster hanging there, advertising a play. Not just any play - a play based on one of my favorite books, Peter Pan. If it wasn't for Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, it might have been my very favorite, but as it was, it had to play a close second.

"This one?" Caileigh asked, walking over to get a better look at it.

"Yep!" I confirmed happily, feet swinging a little. "Can we go, please, please, please?" I tilted my head up towards Jen, eyes big and sweet. I'd never been to a real play before, just a puppet show at the library once, but I was sure I'd love it.

Jen glanced at the poster skeptically. "I don't know, honey..." I hurriedly started thinking of some way to convince her, something I could promise that would make her say yes.

But it was Caileigh who completely crushed my hopes. "'fraid you can't," she shrugged sympathetically. "The last show was on Sunday."

"Awwww," I pouted, slumping down in the seat, until I realized Jen was smiling because my diaper was showing again, and I sat up, straightened my jumper, stuck my tongue out at her. "It would've been fun," I sighed.

"I bet it would have," Caileigh rubbed my arm consolingly. "I'm sure you'll get another chance to see it someday."

"Oh, I hope so!" I smiled, sitting up a little straighter as I imagined walking into the theatre, all dressed up like I had been at the moon's first ball. I was pretty sure you were supposed to dress up to go see plays, anyway, even though nobody really had for our class play. The thought of that reminded me of my own, slightly stunted, career as an actress, and my smile lit up a bit more. "Or maybe I could be in it one day!" Sure, there were only a few girl characters, but it would be cool to be Tiger Lily, or even Wendy, although she wasn't nearly as fun.

"Why, so you can faint again?"

I blushed, stared down towards my feet, at Nadine's question, though more at the reminder it contained. I had only had about one line, but I spent a lot of the play onstage anyway. I had tried to do like Mr. Chaon said, and pay attention to what was going on around me, and try to react to it and all, but once my gaze had drifted off into the audience once, it froze there, on all the people out there. There were so many, more than I ever would have imagined could fit into the auditorium, which seemed to have grown to about a hundred times its normal size.

I'm not sure if I even made it to the part of the play with my line - after a few minutes, I could barely even hear the other kids talking, the sound of my own breathing, going faster and faster, filling my ears as my eyes grew wider and wider, and the people in front of me seemed to multiply, until there had to have been at least a billion.

And then even the sound of my breathing seemed to get drowned out, although I wasn't sure by what, exactly. It just seemed like it was getting further and further away, as if it were somebody else. I wasn't sure how long I'd been up there - it felt like an hour or more, but Jen told me later it was only a minute or two. Then it was all gone, and I woke up backstage, Mr. Chaon standing over me, looking worried.

Nadine giggled. "I guess that would be pretty funny to see."

I tried to ignore her, and the growing heat in my cheeks. She was just jealous she didn't get a part, that was all.

"I bet you'd be great, cutie," Caileigh assured me, but since I was still staring at my feet, I didn't get to see the dirty look I was sure she shot at her little sister, who promptly shut up. Jen patted my leg softly, and we moved on, away from the sadly unfulfilling poster.

Once we got into the store, it started to get less interesting being in the cart, getting parked while the big sisters searched for some specific kind of whatever on Caileigh's list. While it was nice getting to sit down as they did that, since they tended to take forever, after the second or third time, I started to wish I could at least pace back and forth behind them, to show them I was ready to move on. And, after I wet my diaper, it started to get less comfy, having the squishy padding pressed up against my bottom constantly.

Caileigh and Nadine went off on their own as Jen steered the cart towards the baby aisle, saying they would be back in a few minutes, once they'd found the right kind of dish soap in the aisle beside ours.

"Why are we here?" I pouted, watching the sights, still familiar from the week before, moving past. "We still have plenty of diapers!" I didn't actually know that, but I suspected it, since we had been here not too long ago, and it had seemed like there were a lot of diapers in the package Jen had bought.

"We don't have that many," Jen contradicted me, her voice turning condescending again. "Besides, we wouldn't want you to run out, now would we?"

"No, that'd be horrible," I sulked, crossing my arms and pouting.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Jen exclaimed happily, backing up the cart a little to grab a pink pacifier from one of the shelves. "Can't forget this, now can we?" she smiled.

"Jeeeen!" I cried, sniffling, sticking out my bottom lip, and tilting my head up at her.

Jen kissed the tip of my nose, but put the pacifier into the cart anyway, and moved forward. "Look at these," Jen said after a moment or two, bending down to do the same.

"So what?" I asked, bored, starting to fidget, glance up and down the aisle nervously. Was she taking this long just to annoy me? But I was a little curious anyway, so I looked at the package. "Why do babies need special diapers for overnight?" It seemed kind of dumb, although I guessed it was kind of like how you wore special clothes to sleep in.

"Well, it's so they don't leak while they're sleeping," she explained, picking up the package and flipping it over to see the other side. "Sometimes, regular diapers just aren't good enough for that." She glanced from the diapers to me, a thoughtful glint in her eye. "These aren't size 6, but I bet you could fit into them just fine. I've heard Huggies are a little bigger than most. And you -did- fit into those Pull-Ups..."

"I don't need those!" I said quickly, blushing as she started to put them into the cart. "I don't leak at night!"

"I wasn't thinking about them for night time," Jen smiled. "I just thought we'd try a thicker diaper."

"I don't want a thicker diaper," I pouted, the padding around my bottom feeling quite thick enough as it was as I squirmed, trying to imagine what these new diapers would be like.

"I guess that's too bad, isn't it?" Jen teased, patting my leg.

"I only leaked once," I complained, sulking. Jen didn't pay attention, didn't seem to care. It wasn't fair! One little accident, and this is what I get... No fair at all.

Caileigh and Nadine returned soon afterwards, and we headed back towards the front of the store to check out. Our regular cashier wasn't there; I wasn't sure if I was glad for that or not.

"She's an antsy little thing, isn't she?" the one we got instead, probably around mommy's age, asked, not even looking at me.

"Well, I'm sure you know how they get when they need a change," Jen winked. I tried to kick her from the cart, but she was too far away.

All in all, I was glad when I got lifted out of my seat, even if I didn't get put back down. Jen ducked down and grabbed the diaper bag, and the bag with my new baby stuff, Caileigh telling her she could get the rest by herself.

"Can Caileigh change me?" I asked, staring over at her hopefully, even though the question was aimed at Jen, as the bathroom door swung shut behind us.

"I don't mind," Caileigh shrugged.

"You can do it next time, if you want," Jen offered. "I get her now, though."

I pouted. "But Caileigh is better at changing me than you are," I told her.

I heard Caileigh giggle beside me as Jen reached up to tickle my tummy and tell me, "Tough luck," as she carried me to the handicapped stall, kicking the door shut until she could set me down and latch it, then get my changing area ready, and lift me up onto it.

"Let's try out your new diapers!" Jen grinned, tearing open the package.

"But they're for night," I pointed out, wondering if the argument would work this time. It seemed like wearing them during the day would be breaking some kind of rule.

Jen ignored my warning, and proceeded to change me into one of them. She was, unfortunately, correct in her assumption that they would fit me just fine. They really were thicker, I could tell, and I knew they would make me waddle even more than my regular ones. "How's that?"

I glared up at her, preparing to say something particularly scathing, just as soon as I thought of it, when she remembered what else she had bought, and popped it into my mouth as I opened it to tell her how awful they were. She looped the ribbon attached to the back of it around my neck and stared down at her work, apparently very pleased.

I wrinkled my nose at the pacifier invading my mouth, reached up to take it out, only to have my hand swatted away. "And don't think about spitting it out, either," Jen warned, "or you'll be sorry."

As if I wasn't already sorry enough for having gotten myself into this.

Jen lifted me down from the changing table at last, leaving the diaper bag in the stall, and led me out, where we washed our hands, and she took all of the bags from Caileigh. I stared down at my feet as Nadine glanced over at me, sucking on my pacifier, too scared of what Jen might do to me if I disobeyed her to consider taking it out.

Strangely, though, the look in Nadine's eyes wasn't nearly as gleeful as I had expected. If it had been on anybody but her, I might have called it sympathy, but pity might have been closer. She glanced up at our big sisters, then slid a little closer to me.

"I know the perfect way to get revenge on Jen," she whispered. I stared at her skeptically, not sure whether I could believe her or not.

I didn't have time to decide before she and Caileigh vanished into the stall. I knew I really shouldn't listen to her - she had the habit of trying to trick me, even when I hadn't given her such a good reason to want to. Still, maybe she had realized that we were both in this together, and decided that the best way to get through it was to stick together.

Could that be it? Sure, she had been making fun of me like normal so far on the trip, but, when I saw her and Caileigh emerging from the stall, the diaper bag slung across Caileigh's shoulder, and a deeper blush than I'd ever seen on her plastered across Nadine's face, I couldn't help but wonder.

Besides, it couldn't hurt just to listen, see what her idea was. Listening was harmless. I didn't have to actually do it.

Caileigh took a few of the bags from Jen, after she and Nadine washed their hands, and we left, preparing ourselves for the long trek back to the car. I declined the offer of another cart, even though I had been right about my waddling getting more pronounced with these diapers. I'd had enough of that for the day, thank you.

At least I thought so, until we had actually gotten outside, and halfway across the parking lot. I felt like I was melting again, even more rapidly this time, my pace getting slower and slower as more and more of me flowed away behind me, across the pavement. "Here, take these," Jen told Caileigh, shoving a couple more bags into her arms, so she could pick me up. "Slow poke," she rolled her eyes at me. I just glared at her over my pacifier, not sure what else to do.

Not until I had gotten into the car, the diaper bag set next to me, Nadine climbing into the other seat, while our sisters worked on piling the bags into the trunk. I leaned over, pulled out the pacifier, staring at it with disgust.

"So," I whispered, "what were you saying about revenge?"

Elizabeth

Chapter Twenty-Four

I leaned back against the soft back of the bench, tummy feeling very full and happy. Nadine watched me from the bench on the other side of the table at our booth, although it didn't seem like she was searching for something mean to comment on, as she usually did.

She didn't appear to be too eager for conversation, either, so I picked my chopsticks back up and practiced holding them; I'd almost had it earlier, at least well enough to eat most of my food until having to switch to a fork. I couldn't remember how at all, now that I didn't have Jen helping me. She was really good at it.

It had been a nice meal, much better than I had been expecting, if only because it had passed without me getting put into a high chair and bib. Jen had suggested it, after we sat down, but Caileigh managed to get her to give in when she saw just how much I liked the idea. Besides, I wasn't sure how well Nadine would have fit into one, since she -was- older and bigger than me, and not nearly as scrawny, and it wouldn't have been fair for it to be just me, especially since I wasn't the one being officially punished here.

Not that Jen would have cared about that. Honestly, I still wasn't sure why she had agreed to let me sit on the benches like everyone else, but I was pretty sure it had more to do with Caileigh than me. Either way, they were both gone now, after a couple quick diaper changes and strict orders for us not to leave the table unless the restaurant caught on fire, off to use the bathroom they had denied us.

"Did you have a good meal?" a voice most decidedly not Nadine asked beside me, making me jump suddenly, dropping the chopsticks onto my mostly empty plate, heart pounding. "Didn't mean to scare you," the waiter apologized, quickly stacking up everyone else's plate, hand pausing as it came to mine. "You done with that?"

I nodded, worked up my courage for a little smile. "It was good," I squeaked. I saw Nadine nodding her agreement across the table, much more calmly than me.

"Good to hear," he winked, setting down a little tray with the bill inside on the table to replace our plates, glancing at us a moment before counting out a few fortune cookies and setting them down on it. "Have a great afternoon!"

And then he was gone, before I could tell him he had miscounted, leaving us with only three cookies, not four. Nadine and I stared at the center of the table for a minute or two, as if waiting to see if the cookies would multiply. They didn't.

After a moment, something I never expected happened. Nadine glanced up from the tray to me, then said with complete sincerity, "Go ahead, you can have it."

"What?" I blinked, staring up at her to make sure I had heard her correctly. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, settling back in her seat. "I don't like them that much, anyway."

I started to reach out for it, stopping my fingers a few inches away, almost close enough to touch the wrapper. "We can split it if you want," I offered, starting to feel bad to just be taking it, when she was being so nice. Maybe I'd been right earlier, I thought, and she realized we need to work together.

She shook her head.

"You can have Jen's cookie," I giggled, although I knew if that happened, Caileigh would probably end up giving Jen hers, so it wouldn't really be fair. Luckily, Nadine denied that offer, too.

"I don't like them," she told me again. "Just eat it, okay?"

I watched her for another few moments. Had she always been this nice, deep inside? Maybe I just hadn't been looking hard enough, giving up whenever she did something I didn't like, assuming she was an awful person. Did that make -me- an awful person?

"I'm feeling pretty full," I said slowly. That was definitely true, although I wasn't quite too full for a cookie. I could live without it, though.

Nadine rolled her eyes. "Eat the cookie, Penni. It's yours."

I reached for it again; my hand froze again. I could see Nadine start to roll her eyes again, so I moved my hand over to another one of the cookies, picked that one up instead, and was still struggling to rip open the package when Caileigh and Jen reappeared, chattering about something or other.

"Here, let me get that," Jen demanded, snatching my cookie away before I could tell her I'd do it myself, getting it free with no trouble. "Do you need me to break it in half for you, too?"

I stuck my tongue out at her and snatched my cookie away, snapping it in two just to show her. I pulled the fortune out carefully, folding it up so I wouldn't inadvertently see any of it, and gobbled up the two halves, forgetting how full I already felt for the few seconds it took. I wasn't sure what it was about fortune cookies that I liked so much - they didn't taste all -that- good, compared to a lot of other cookies I'd tried. Perhaps it was the novelty of them, since we didn't exactly go to Chinese restaurants all that often.

Once that was finished, I picked the tiny slip of paper back up from the tabletop, making sure to check the lucky number - 34 - on the back before slowly unfolding it, heart starting to jump about in my chest nervously, but in a happy kind of way. As much as I loved fortune cookies, I loved the fortunes inside them even more. They didn't always make sense, but there was simply something magical about them.

"What yours say?" Jen asked, rudely leaning over to try to read it before I could.

I glared up at her, scooted further against the wall so I could have a little privacy. Jen shrugged, started breaking the second half of her cookie into a few more pieces before eating it.

After I made sure she wasn't looking, I began to open the fortune again, heart resuming its fluttering as the two ends of the paper moved away from each other, further, further, revealing...

"So, what's it say?" Jen inquired again.

I blinked a couple times, turned it over, then over again. "Nothing," I blinked once more.

"Nothing?" Jen reached over and took the paper from my shocked hands, turning it over like I just had, with the exact same result. "Huh... Weird."

"Yeah," I mumbled quietly, not even sure what to feel, although betrayal was at the head of the list. How could the cookie do this to me, after seeing how anxious I was to read its words of wisdom, or whatever?

Worry was a close second. What could it mean?

"Do you want to trade?" Caileigh's voice interrupted my thoughts gently, as she leaned across the table, holding out her own little slip of paper. "Mine's pretty good..."

I shook my head. "No, this is mine," I informed her. I chose it. It was mine, for better or worse.

I was still wondering about it as we slid away from the table and headed up to let the big sisters pay for lunch, Nadine and I wandering over to watch the fish in the big aquarium that stretched around their little waiting area, empty now except for us. I wondered about it as we walked out to the car, got inside, drove away. I was wondering about it so hard, I was surprised to feel the car stopping after what felt like just a few minutes.

Where we home already? But even before I raised my eyes to see that we were quite certainly not, I could hear the rush of traffic not too far away, which told me the same thing, although it was more specific about it, telling me that we were instead at Blockbuster. I vaguely remembered hearing mommy ask Jen to pick up some movie they had been wanting to see, although I wasn't sure if I had been supposed to hear that, since she had mentioned it to her after saying goodbye to me, and I just happened to still be near my doorway when she spoke to Jen.

I couldn't recall exactly what the title of the movie was, though I knew it sounded cool. Which I also knew most likely meant I wouldn't be allowed to watch it.

Since I was pretty sure that would be the case, my mind rapidly moved away from thinking about it, back to my empty fortune, as I jumped down out of the car, pacifier bouncing off of my chest a couple times thanks to the ribbon, once Jen opened the door for me. I probably would have spent the whole time in Blockbuster wondering, if I hadn't felt Jen's fingers slipping into the leg band of my diaper.

My eyes opened wide with surprise at the unexpected feeling, and I felt my body jump as I turned to see what was going on, and saw my skirt sliding out of the fingers of Jen's other hand. I felt my cheeks burning as I realized what she had done, and where - right out in the middle of the parking lot.

"Jen!" I shouted, stepping back away from her, glaring with angry eyes, starting to get teary.

"I was just checking!" She held up her hands defensively, but couldn't hide the smile on her face. "You had a weird, far away look in your eyes, so..."

"Jen, you couldn't have at least waited until we got into the store?!" Caileigh scolded, shaking her head.

Jen rolled her eyes. "You're no fun, you know that?"

Caileigh ignored her, took my hand gently. "Come on, let's go inside." I nodded with a sniffle, followed her quietly across the parking lot, thankfully much, much smaller than Wal-Mart's.

But inside my head, I was raging, throwing the huge fit I wished I had the courage for in real life, and which Nadine had suggested earlier, at least at first. "Just throw a big tantrum," she'd told me, as if it were the simplest thing in the world, voice low, unreadable as far as true intentions.

"In the middle of a store?" I'd asked, nervously starting to chew on my bottom lip. "I... I don't know if I can do that."

Nadine sighed. "Jen would absolutely hate it, though, you gotta admit."

"I dunno," I wavered. "I think she likes people paying attention to me."

She shook her head. "Trust me; not that kind of attention," she'd assured me.

I still wasn't convinced, though mostly because I knew I wouldn't have the guts to do it. "I dunno," I shrugged.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, if you're gonna be a wimp about it, there is something easier you could do..."

I shuddered a little thinking about her second suggestion, nose wrinkling a bit. I wasn't fond of it any more than the first, except for the fact that it -would- be easier to do. But if it really make Jen as sorry as Nadine seemed to think it would, then it would be worth it. It would have been worth it just for making me use the stupid pacifier - it would definitely be worth it now.

But could I do it?

Jen and Nadine came into the blessedly cool store a few steps behind us, just as Caileigh was letting go of my hand.

"Go look in the kid's section," Jen instructed Nadine and me. Or at least me, though Nadine followed anyway, and Caileigh didn't seem to mind, as she was too busy grabbing Jen's arm and pulling her into one of the grown-up movie aisles, hissing something in her ear that I had a very good feeling had something to do with me, and how if she wasn't nicer, the Society of Big Sisters would revoke her license. Or badge. Whichever one they had; could be both. Jen probably had to cheat to get it/them in the first place, anyway.

I glanced boredly over the movies sitting on the shelves, already having a pretty good idea what I would get, since I probably rented it every other time we came in here. I used to alternate between Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland, until Gramma got them for me for Christmas. While it was nice to be able to watch them whenever I wanted, as long as nobody else was using the television, and even better to think that I actually owned them - me, just me! - it had left me with a bit of a dilemma. What to rent now?

Luckily, I happened to catch the end of another movie on television a month or two later, and, although I didn't get to see very much of it, it looked interesting and funny; even more luckily, Jen had recognized it as The Sword in the Stone.

Sure, I would take a chance and get something else every once in a while, if there was a cover that looked particularly cool. Mostly, though, I stuck with that. Jen told me once that it was based on a book, but unfortunately, it was always checked out whenever we went to the library.

I knew exactly where the movie was, however, and walked straight over to it and grabbed it, not in the mood to spend any more time browsing the aisle. I didn't want to go back over to Jen either, and Caileigh was still right by her. Stupid Jen, I growled in my mind, hand squeezing the cover of my movie. Even stealing the good big sister so I couldn't look at video boxes with her.

"Are you gonna do it?" Nadine whispered into my ear.

"I dunno," I said hesitantly, keeping my voice quiet, too. It felt like the right thing to do, somehow - I guess because it was sort of like a library, and you weren't supposed to talk in those, either.

"Aren't you mad at her?"

I nodded firmly, glaring across the store at her. Oh, I was definitely mad at her, but still... It might make her regret this whole thing, yet it wouldn't be fun for me, either. It was so icky, and babyish, not to mention humiliating. Jen did seem to hate me acting like too much of a baby in public, however, and I didn't imagine she would be happy with having to clean me up afterwards. I know I wouldn't. Which was probably why Nadine suggested it. As bad as it would be for me, it would be worse for Jen.

At least, I was pretty sure about that, and Nadine seemed to be, too. She had been pretty nice, too, for her, since Wal-Mart. I had a good feeling about this. It might even be enough to cure Jen of wanting to baby me at all! And -that- would certainly be worth a few minutes of embarrassment, since that was a state I was almost constantly living in anyhow.

I just didn't want to do it.

"Well, whatever," Nadine shrugged, wandering off down the aisle again. I watched her for a few minutes, building up my resolve. My tummy was beginning to hurt now, anyway, and I wasn't sure if I'd make it back home without an accident. So, I would either have to beg the completely horrible Jen to let me go to the bathroom here - which I imagined she would love, seeing me struggling to ask, like I always did - or I could take Nadine's advice.

When I thought about it like that, there wasn't much of a choice at all, really.

I glanced over at Nadine nervously one more time, getting an encouraging nod from her, then I turned to watch Jen, eyes narrow, cheeks turning red, teeth around my bottom lip.

For a moment, I thought I wasn't going to be able to do it, that my body simply wouldn't let me, but then I felt it start to let go. I started to have second thoughts, but it was already too late.

"You actually did it?" Nadine asked, sounding shocked, obviously not expected me to have the nerve. I nodded, nose wrinkling at the icky, squishy feeling now in the back of my sagging diaper.

"It wasn't that hard," I stated, blushing again at how it had came out, almost like a boast.

Then Nadine started to giggle, not in a friendly way. My heart began to freeze in my chest, slow, horrifying revelation spreading across it, stopping it in its place. "You really are such a baby," she shook her head.

My mouth fell open, bottom lip trembling. "But..."

"That's what you get for tattling on me, dummy," she said, turning away and skipping back down the aisle, her giggles continuing, floating back to me and dancing around my head mockingly.

I was still standing there, shocked, when Jen came over to me. "That again?" she rolled her eyes. "Don't you ever watch..." Her nose started to twitch, and she glanced down curiously. "Penni, did you..?"

I blushed, hugging the movie box to my chest, stepping backwards as she reached out towards me. "I'm just trying to check your diaper," she told me, as if I didn't know, and it wasn't why I didn't want her near me.

"Go 'way," I sniffled, backing up again, this time running into the corner of the shelf, nose wrinkling at the touch.

Jen smiled at me patronizingly. "It'll just take a second, baby," she cooed, reaching over to grab the hem of my jumper. With nowhere to go, I started sniffling harder, as she pulled me closer to her, turning me around.

"Guess you didn't like those potty breaks that much after all," she said, sounding much less upset than I'd hoped. She sounded almost happy, and, by the time she spoke again, letting my skirt flutter back down against my legs, she was almost overjoyed. "Well, don't worry - you won't have to worry about them anymore."

"But... No!" I exclaimed, tears starting to gather in my eyes as I stomped my foot. "No!"

"Oh, I think so, babe," Jen grinned, kissing the tip of my nose, handing me her movie. "Hold this for a second, okay? I think I'd better go get your diaper bag."

Stunned, I watched her leave the store, still trying to figure out just what had happened. It had been a good plan! It should have worked! At least, it made enough sense that I was sure it would work. I turned my head, seeing Nadine, still giggling, who stuck her tongue out when she saw me.

Had they been working together, to get me back for getting both of them in trouble? Or had Jen just taken advantage of the opportunity to get me back? Did it really matter? The end result was the same, no matter how many people had been planning it.

I stared back at the front of the store, all glass, so I could watch Jen unlocking her car, retrieving the stupid, stupid diaper bag out of the back seat. Not even the sudden rain from the storm clouds I had been too preoccupied to notice as we came into the store, soaking Jen by the time she got back inside, was enough to make me feel better.

So much for my little victories.

Chapter Twenty-Five

I jumped, gasped as thunder crashed somewhere outside, far too close for comfort, although it was probably nowhere near me. Lightning lit up my room for a split second, revealing my small form, huddled up next to my door, ear pressed against the slight opening, trying to catch my breath, glad I had none left with which to squeak.

It wouldn't do to draw attention to myself, not now. I was supposed to have been asleep about an hour ago, despite my vehement protests. I was also probably not supposed to be listening to the movie mommy wouldn't let me watch, although I was really just barely doing that, since it was difficult to make out any but the loudest sounds - generally either a weird kind of growling, or maybe roaring, sound, or a scream - well.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I was also in a diaper. There was only one person in the house I would want to see me like that, and I wasn't even fond of that idea. Jen had decided I needed it, saying it was to keep me from "getting too curious" about the movie. I was pretty sure she was breaking some sort of rule, since the diaper was one of the regular ones, not the overnights. Which I had worn during the day. It just didn't seem like the sort of thing you were supposed to do; she didn't care.

I jumped again, this time at a particularly loud shrieking coming from the television in the living room. My eyes drifted over to my night light, the only source of light in my room, now that the sun had gone down, dark clouds, which had been hanging around since that afternoon, keeping the moon from performing his one useful function.

I had actually gotten rid of my night light once, and been very proud not to need it anymore; it was a sure sign I was growing up. And then I'd watched some TV show with Jen one night, a rerun of some old show I thought I might have seen some other time, too, but I wasn't sure, except that some of the people looked familiar.

And there were these things in it that glowed, kind of like fireflies, but green, and they attacked people in the night, if there wasn't any light around. I didn't want Jen to know how scared I was, so instead of curling up against her, I wound myself around one of the throw pillows on the couch instead, fingers digging deeper and deeper into it as the show wore on, and I couldn't help but keep watching, eyes wide.

I hadn't wanted her to know; I liked watching TV with her, sitting close to her on the couch and stealing her popcorn, when she decided to make it. But I had already gotten scared once, by something she'd watched, about people who just caught on fire for some reason, leaving behind ashes and feet, and nothing else. Every time I'd started to feel warm after that, I ran to the shower and turned it on, cold as it would go, desperate to keep the same thing from happening to me.

So I pretended it didn't bother me, almost believed it myself, until Jen said goodnight, and closed the door, plunging my room into darkness. I lay in bed for a minute, heart pounding, before I sprang out and switched the light back on. Mommy came in after a few minutes and asked why I wasn't asleep yet. I lied, told her I wasn't tired.

She let me come out to the kitchen and sit at the table in my fuzzy pajamas, all pink and warm, while she heated up some milk for me. Then she put me back to bed and turned out my light.

The moon wasn't out that night - I don't know whether it was cloudy, or if he had left, like he did every month. It was the only time I ever missed him, really, really missed him. It was winter then, and I was glad for that. It meant there weren't any fireflies around, and by the time they did start coming back, the show was just a distant memory, sitting at the back of my mind, getting more and more fuzzy as time went by, and all that I could really remember from it was not to sleep in the dark. Because that's where the bad things were. By then, I didn't remember the green things very clearly, thankfully - it would've sucked to be afraid of fireflies.

But that night, it was still fresh on my mind, the memory of the green lights swirling above their victims, closing in for the kill. I waited as long as I could before I switched my light back on. I was crying when mommy came in, looking annoyed. I told her everything, and she hugged me, got my night light back out and plugged it in, said I should go back to sleep, that the show wasn't real, and neither were the green bugs.

I stared at the night light for a long time, hoping and praying its light was bright enough. After a long time, I turned my light on again, just in case, and sat up the rest of the night, shivering despite having my blankets pulled up to my chin, waiting for the sun to rise.

And that was why I couldn't watch scary things anymore. Which wasn't fair at all, because that had been months and months ago, and I'd grown up a lot, despite what Jen's opinion on that matter was. I could handle it. But mommy and daddy didn't believe me, and they sent me to bed before they watched that sort of thing.

Like they had this night.

And, for once, I had to agree with that decision, and wish I had just stayed in bed and went to sleep, rather than trying to listen in. I could only imagine what horrible kinds of things were happening in the movie, and whenever I did, I immediately regretted it. Visions of monsters, all bug eyed and tentacley, covered in slime and spikes, pointy fangs glistening inside their cavernous mouths, swam through my head. With every roar, they seemed to get scarier, growing a few extra spikes, or their teeth getting longer.

With every scream, I imagined them catching me, grabbing at me with their slimy little hands, fingers resembling the arms they were attached to, long and bony, ending in razor sharp claws that dug into my skin as they tried to hold me still long enough to get their drool-dripping mouths around me. They weren't all that big, as far as monsters went - probably around Jen's size - but that was still big enough that my struggles to get free were mostly useless. Still, somehow I managed to get free each time, only to find myself caught again the next time I heard a scream.

The monsters followed me into my dreams as well, once I had enough and scrambled up into my bed, curling up into a ball, clutching Mrs. Ellenstofalix tightly to my chest. Not that she was a lot of help against the monsters.

To give her some credit, she -did- try, even offering to let me ride on her back as we ran through the darkness, neither of us willing to stop long enough to figure out where we were. She really wasn't very fast, however, and her wings were too small for flying, so I turned her down, since there didn't seem to be much point. We were going to get caught either way.

She was the first to see the group of monsters waiting ahead of us, licking their lips as they moved closer, claws on their toes digging into the dirt at their feet with every step. I came to a stop as quickly as I could, heart still racing as I nearly lost my balance before scrambling next to Mrs. Ellensofalix, eyes darting back and forth through the trees - we must have been in the forest, I realized - and the creatures stepping out of the shadows everywhere.

What were we doing in the woods? It wasn't autumn yet! We were so stupid, so very, very stupid...

I felt Mrs. Ellenstofalix stir, start to move away from my back gently, slowly.

I grabbed onto her fur before she could leave me there alone, or lead me out into the midst of these things.

She shook off my grip easily, then shook her head, as if to tell me not to follow. I stepped back, eyes wide; was she abandoning me again?

And with that, she moved forward, teeth bared, eyes gleaming with a light I hadn't seen before, as if there were something vicious lurking behind them. Her fur began to stand on end as she hunched down, then her head bent back, and a horrible roar came from her throat, seeming to last forever, every moment an eternity, as everything in the forest froze, shivering in anticipation and fear.

It finally died down, and for a moment, silence invaded my senses, nearly as loud as the roar. The whole world appeared to be still now, including the dragon, but I could feel the tension building up, and knew that wouldn't last long. Not even the leaves were moving; the wind was holding its breath.

It was one of the monsters who broke the calm, snarling as it leapt forward, claws flashing in the moonlight filtering down through the trees. Mrs. Ellenstofalix growled at it, then opened her mouth, breathing out a thick cloud of smoke. I could hear faint coughing sounds from within the cloud in the moment before my dragon jumped inside herself, and then all I heard was yelping, slashing.

I didn't dare get any closer, but even from where I was, I could see flashes of movement inside the smoke, a great green arm reaching forward to swipe at one of the monsters, knocking it onto its back, a tail swinging, slamming into a few more of them. If my throat had been working, I'd have apologized to Mrs. Ellenstofalix for ever calling her a worthless dragon.

Crack.

I spun around, found myself face to face with one of the monsters. My throat still wasn't working, I found as I tried to scream, tried with all my strength, backing up until my feet slipped on the leaf covered ground.

I never hit the ground - the monster was too quick for that. Maybe his mommy had told him not to eat food that fell on the floor, too. I felt his hands wrapping around my tummy, lifting me bodily into the air. I struggled, trying to break free, wanting to scream, to get Mrs. Ellenstofalix's attention, to do anything but sit there and get eaten.

I was getting closer to its mouth, too close for comfort. I braced myself to touch its scaly, slimy skin, wincing a little as I moved my hands down, trying to slip my fingers underneath his, to pry them loose. His fangs were getting closer, and closer, his breath blowing hotly against my skin.

And then he hissed, and I was falling, down onto the leafy ground, where I scrambled away quickly, before turning to see what had stopped him. For a few seconds, I wasn't sure. There wasn't anything over there other than it, still hissing and alternating its stare between its finger and me, expression switching from pain to fear every time.

Huh? Was it afraid... of me?

Suddenly, I noticed the handprint on his finger, still glowing a light blue color. I glanced down at my hands, saw the same glow around the left, lifted it curiously, only to find the glow starting to drip away, like water, as it faded back to regular ol' skin color.

I got to my feet, feeling a little more confident now, holding out my hand like a shield. The monster scrambled back as I approached, the glow on both of us getting stronger. I almost started to laugh, until I saw another two monsters out of the corner of my eye, trying to sneak up on me. I turned, swung my arm around, both the glow and the dripping getting stronger.

These monsters didn't seem to care. They kept coming, circling around me now, claws clicking together. I began to hold my breath, waiting, waiting for the first to make its move.

It seemed to take another eternity, but finally it did, leaping forward, its partner only a second behind. I let out my breath in a quick sigh, falling to the ground, rolling to the side, leaping to my feet as they landed where I had been a moment before. I darted forward, hand in front of me, pressed directly onto its chest. It hissed, began to back away, running into its companion.

I began to make my way around them, to touch the other so it would leave me alone as well, only to find myself on the ground again, this time on my stomach. I rolled quickly, expecting to find another creature behind me. There was nothing.

My brow furrowed curiously, trying to figure out why, then, I had fallen, until my gaze fell on the stone at my feet. It wasn't very big, mostly buried in the dirt, but I reached out for it curiously, my hand lighting it up enough to see that it looked familiar somehow.

I put my hand down onto it. It felt like any rock; I knew better. I push gently, the glow vanishing, leaving the forest bathed only in moonlight, as my hand slips into the rock, vanishing inside with a slight ripple. I hear feet approaching, unafraid now that I'm defenseless. I ignored them, reaching down further, and further, knowing it had to be there somewhere.

My fingers brush against it, finally, almost my entire arm inside the stone now. I wrapped my hand around the hilt, hold my breath, pull up as quickly as I could, before the monsters' breath got any closer to my back. My arm came free, and then my hand, now holding a large, blue glowing sword. My arm continues upwards, supported immediately by the other, as it is freed, as if they know what to do on their own, lifting the blade up above my head.

I heard the monsters beginning to move backwards, feel a pulsing in the palm of my hand, hold my breath again instinctively, right before the forest exploded with a bright blue light, emanating from the sword, pushing everything back, including the cloud of smoke, letting me see Mrs. Ellenstofalix, still fighting, but not nearly as hard now, as she was getting attacked by four or five of the monsters at once, all piled on top of her when the flash struck them, freezing them in the middle of their attacks for a split second.

I got to my feet shakily, leaves, blown loose a moment earlier, starting to float down around me, as I looked around, seeing what looked to be every monster in the forest not attacking my dragon gathered around me, surrounding me from every side, yet standing still, their eyes glowing blue.

I lowered the sword to my side, the only thing moving in the forest other than the leaves. Was that it? Was that all I had to do?

Then the monsters closest to me began to blink slowly, to shake their heads. I lifted the sword again, turning slowly as the monsters began to wake up again. My hands tightened around the sword, teeth clamping around my bottom lip. My arms were my own again, expecting me to know what to do now.

I spun around as the first monster jumps forward, swinging the sword wildly, just happening to catch one of its arms, slicing it in two. It howled, moving backwards, but I didn't have time to watch before turning, blocking the claws of a second with the sword, pushing it off and away into the crowd. I heard another set of claws dragging behind me, so I twisted again, beginning to feel somewhat dizzy.

That was when the one beside me struck, knocking me over, sword flying from my hands. As I lay on my side, trying to catch my breath, I watched it spinning upwards, ever up, almost above the tops of the trees before it came plummeting down, point first, sinking down into the ground in the midst of the creatures, who immediately began to move away from it.

But not away from me.

I tried to get to my feet, felt something wrapping around my ankles, slamming me back down, dragging me along the ground, helpless, as the tentacle began to move further up and around me, pinning my legs together, and then my arms, pulling me in towards the monster's gigantic mouth.

I sat up with a gasp, or at least tried to, but had to get myself untangled from my blankets first. My night light was still glowing next to my bed, though I wasn't sure it was strong enough any more.

I looked around my bed frantically, finally finding Mrs. Ellenstofalix almost falling off of the edge. I rescued her, gave her a kiss on the forehead before hugging her to my loudly thumping chest again, glad to see she was still all right.

I laid back down, turning to stare at my night light for a minute or two before turning to stare out my window. It was still dark out there, although I didn't see any lightning, nor hear any thunder. The storm must have stopped, finally, but the clouds were still there, keeping the outside pitch black.

I rolled over, just wanting to go back to sleep, only to be greeted by the sight of the monsters every time I closed my eyes. After a few tries, I got up, still clutching Mrs. Ellenstofalix, and began to stumble sleepily out of my room. The slight crinkling sound coming from my bottom, however, put a stop to my original plan, slowed me down enough to peek out of my door and make sure the rest of the house was dark before slipping out of my room.

The door to mommy and daddy's room was closed, like it usually was. I stood in front of it for a few minutes, tummy wriggling inside of me. That was where I wanted to be, in there with them, where nothing could hurt me. I was more than a little embarrassed to be waking them up for this, though, especially in a diaper. It was just a nightmare, I knew they'd say. They might even get annoyed at me for bothering them over something so trivial, when I was supposed to be so mature.

So I did the next best thing, no matter how little I wanted to. I went into Jen's room instead, not even bothering to knock on her door before opening it and moving inside. She already knew about the diaper, since she had put it on me, and I knew she wouldn't expect me to be grown up about this, or anything else. And I knew that, no matter how mean she was, she wouldn't let the monsters get me.

I climbed up into her bed and curled up next to her, wishing I had brought my pillow, since she was hogging all of hers. After a few minutes, I felt her move over a little, then roll over, groggily opening her eyes, finding mine, still wide with fear, staring back at her.

She looked confused for a moment, then smiled gently, reaching out to stroke my hair, hand moving down to my back, which she rubbed gently for a few moments before starting over again, until I felt my eyes closing.

I woke up one more time that night, just long enough to feel curious as to why Jen was in my bed, and to feel a sharp pain in my bladder. I wiggled my bottom a little, making sure I was still in my diaper, then let go, slipping back to sleep before the warmth finished spreading around my bottom.

Elizabeth

Chapter Twenty-Six

I rolled over with a humongous yawn, back arching, arms stretching out, one brushing against Mrs. Ellenstofalix's fur, the other bumping up against something else.

"Ack!" I shrieked, rolling away from the other person in my bed, brain racing to find the answer as to just who it was an how they'd gotten there, all the way up until I realized I was closer to the edge of my bed than I usually slept, close enough that my movement had taken me halfway off. I had enough time to try to grab onto something before I lost my balance, crashing to the floor, dragging a blanket down with me, straight onto the cold squishiness of my diaper.

My nose wrinkled and tears sprang to the corners of my eyes at the same time, but both were quickly ignored as I realized that this was not my floor I was sitting on. My heart began to beat at twice its normal rate for the three seconds it took for Jen to sit up groggily, looking for the source of all the noise. By then I was starting to recognize this as her room, so her arising wasn't quite enough to get another shriek out of me, although only because I managed to stop it in my throat.

"What are you doing?" she asked, sleepily blinking her eyes.

My memories of the night before started to return to me then, reminding me why I was now sitting on my big sister's floor in a wet diaper, instead of in my own bed, where I should have been. "I was just... Uh..." I blushed, decided it was too early in the morning to try to lie. "I need a change," I pouted up at her pitifully.

"You couldn't have waited another fifteen minutes?" she yawned, pushing back the blankets I hadn't taken down with me.

"No," I sulked, feeling a little cranky now that my confusion and embarrassment were wearing off. "Maybe you should try wearing a wet diaper and see how you like it."

She raised an eyebrow, stepping out of bed and offering her hand to help me up. "Well, -somebody- got up on the wrong side of the bed."

"Only 'cause you were hogging the right side," I glowered. What was that supposed to mean anyway? What did it matter what side of the bed you woke up on? What did that have to do with anything.

"Hate to remind you, babe, but it -is- my bed." I shrugged at her, grabbing her hand and letting myself be pulled to my feet, led across the hall. Jen paused for a moment after closing my door. "Speaking of which," she said as she began to move again, this time over to my closet, "what happened last night, sweetie?"

I blushed, having sort of hoped she would have assumed the answer. "I had a nightmare," I explained, holding my breath to see if she would leave it at that.

"Awww, poor Penni," she cooed, removing the changing pad from my diaper bag. "What was it about?"

I let out my breath in a sigh. "It was about the movie you watched last night," I confessed. It was too early to come up with anything better, especially since whenever I tried to think of something scary, the monsters were the only thing that came to mind. "I... kind of listened to it..." I glanced down at my shuffling feet nervously, until they were lifted out from under me as I was put on the pad to have my shorts and diaper removed.

"Penni!" Jen scolded sharply, shaking her head.

"Nobody told me I couldn't do that," I pointed out in my defense, pouting.

Jen rolled her eyes, slipping my diaper off and putting it into the genie. "In the future, I think it would be a pretty safe bet that if you're not allowed to see something, you're not allowed to hear it, either."

I glanced up at her, starting to reach up a hand to bite my nails until I saw her starting to reach out to slap it. "Are you gonna tell mommy?"

"That depends," Jen shrugged. "Are you going to tell her if I let you watch the movie today?"

"Really?" My eyes widened at the offer, although I was a bit hesitant to accept it, even if she was telling the truth.

"If you want." She pulled the panties I could wear for all of half an hour up my legs, followed by my shorts, then set me down on my bed. "I figure, if you're already scared by listening to it, seeing it most likely isn't going to do any more harm. Might even help." She held up a warning finger. "But if you use this to get me in trouble, too, you -will- regret it."

I blushed nervously. "Okay," I agreed.

"All right, then!" she exclaimed, patting my leg and standing, starting to pack up my diaper bag while I went out to the kitchen for morning kisses and breakfast.

It was just cereal that day, since mommy had to go to work early. I didn't mind, though; I liked Cap'n Crunch, even if he wasn't a very good pirate. Jen followed me after a few minutes, pouring her own coffee, then sitting down to pour her cereal, and drench it with milk. I watched her with a certain sense of disgusted curiosity for a moment or two before returning to eating. I never could understand her desire to put milk on her cereal - I had tried it once, and I thought it tasted icky. But she was weird that way.

Mommy was already done eating, and almost finished getting ready, wandering between the living room and the kitchen, straightening things up and putting in her earrings. She always found the most stuff to do on the days when she had no time to do it, she'd told me once. If she just stayed still, I was pretty sure she wouldn't have that problem, but she never seemed to think of that.

"Have a great day," she told me, kissing the top of my head as I started poking at my food, like I did when I was just about full. She told Jen the same thing, then mumbled something I couldn't quite make out to daddy, and they both gave a weird little giggle before kissing.

Daddy left a little while later, after telling his princess to have a fun day, and to finish her breakfast. I pouted at the last part, since I was sure I'd already eaten plenty, but I somehow managed to eat the last few bites, after Jen put the box back into the cabinet above the fridge, the one I couldn't reach even with a chair, after returning from waving to daddy in the driveway to find me trying to put the rest of my cereal back.

"So, what are you going to do today?" Jen asked once I had gotten that over with and we went back to my room to get me dressed, digging through my clothes as I sat behind her on my bed, wearing only a diaper.

"I dunno," I said innocently, my eyes drifting to the window, through which I could see the glistening, rain soaked world outside. The storm the day before had been a pretty good one, and there were still a few clouds hanging around, keeping the sun from shining too brightly.

I didn't notice Jen was watching me until I heard her voice, and I glanced over to see her rolling her eyes. "If you're going to go play in the mud, you might as well just go out like that."

"Nuh-uh!" I protested loudly, blushing furiously. I didn't care if the only people around who might possibly see me already knew I was wearing a diaper - there was no way I was leaving the house in nothing but one.

"I was just joking," she soothed quickly, a little too much to keep me from wondering if she really had been, pulling out an old T-shirt I'd gotten when we visited Chicago the year before. It was bright orange, and had the silhouettes of a bunch of buildings on it, as well as a pretty big pizza sauce stain from the day after I'd gotten the shirt. Mommy hadn't been too happy about that.

I waited for a few moments after she tossed the shirt onto the bed beside me before realizing that, for once, she was letting me dress myself. Or at least giving me the opportunity to do so, which I snatched up eagerly, before she could turn around and change her mind, if that was what she had intended me to do in the first place.

The slightly surprised expression on her face when she did turn around told me she probably hadn't, but she didn't say anything about that - rather, she started to put the old pair of shorts in her hands back into my dresser. "I think that should be good enough," she proclaimed.

"Jeeen!" I whined, sliding down off of my bed, trying to grab them away from her.

"Calm down," she laughed, picking me up, effortlessly keeping the shorts out of my reach while she placed me back on the bed and slid them up my legs and over my diaper. "Try not to get -too- dirty," she instructed, patting my bottom to send me racing for the door. When I heard Jen calling my name, I considered pretending not to hear, but I slowed down just enough for her to catch up to me.

"Hold on," she smiled, even though I had already stopped, and was beginning to turn around, seeing my pacifier and flip-flops in her hands. "Here you go," she said, voice light and sing-songy as she slipped the pacifier's ribbon around my neck, heading towards the door.

I followed her, baffled. "Where're you going?"

"I'm going to put these by the door," she held up my shoes. "So you don't track mud through the house when you get back."

I raised my eyebrow, like she and mommy always did, watching her as I stepped out of the house and started to head towards the field, making sure she wasn't following me, seeing her watching me in return, until finally she went back inside.

I giggled happily, feeling free as I started to run barefoot across Caileigh's yard and out into the field, holding out my arms and leaning my head back, feeling the air whip by, water splashing under my bare feet and up my legs. I stopped about halfway across the field, catching my breath for a minute before turning and starting to drift off of the path, feeling the mud squishing around my feet.

I started to wander about, searching, until I finally found a decent sized puddle, sneaking up on it before hopping into the middle of it. I splashed for a minute or two before moving on to the next one. Each of them were different, in their own way, some shaped strangely, some deeper than I expected, but each of them had a different splash, and I wanted to see them all, to make them all.

I was so busy with that, I hardly cared when I felt my bladder starting to hurt, and simply let it go, not wanting to stop long enough to worry about it, not that it would have done any good if I had. My new diapers soaked it up quickly, and well, so that I barely even noticed it as I kept playing, although I was too preoccupied to think about it much, or the growing fullness in my tummy.

I zig-zagged across the field for a while, a destination in mind, but not too concerned about reaching it anytime soon. Off by the edge of the field, where the grass thinned out, almost to the forest, luckily far enough away not to have to worry about the monsters coming out, at least not without giving me enough time to run away, was a fairly large mud puddle. Jen used to take me out there to play after it rained, made mud pies with me.

At first, I felt a little embarrassed as I knelt down, feeling my knees sinking into the mud, but once I had sunk my fingers into the dirt, I no longer cared, losing myself in my own little world, drawing pictures all around me, making a story with them, one about a princess who escaped from her evil big sister, who had locked her in a tower, and traveled the world with her pet dragon, all the while getting chased by her sister. I didn't even mind that I had, at least in my mind, to put my pacifier into my mouth, to keep it from getting dirty.

I'm not sure what made it so much fun, whether it was just the memory of the fun I'd had here when I was little, or just that, here, I didn't care about doing a good job, like I always tried to do when I was drawing something for real. I didn't care so much that the princess didn't look quite so much like a princess as a slightly smaller blob than her big sister - in my mind, I could still see her, ducking into alleyways, directing her dragon to go the opposite way, to try to confuse their pursuer.

I might have stayed out there all day, if my tummy hadn't started to hurt, in a way that I knew wasn't completely from it knowing it was getting awfully close to lunch time. I procrastinated for a few minutes, wanting to finish up my story, and maybe make a mud pie, for old time's sake, until I realized I had already been putting it off so I could keep playing for what would probably turn out to be too long.

Not that it mattered, I sulked, struggling to get to my feet without slipping and falling into the puddle, which I was quite certain would qualify as "too dirty" to Jen. I wasn't too keen on the idea, either, since I didn't like mud -that- much, at least not anymore. I just wanted to get home before I had to use my diaper, so that I at least had a chance to talk Jen out of making me use it. Not that I expected her to give in, but, hey, stranger things had happened.

No such luck.

I was barely to the last puddle I had jumped in before moving on when the next pang hit my stomach, not bad enough that I couldn't hold on, yet enough to let me know I didn't have much of a prayer of getting home with just wet pants. I glanced down at my feet nervously, kicking at the blades of grass and watching the droplets of rain shower down to the ground, attempting to distract myself.

It worked until my tummy twinged again. I bit my bottom lip, toes curling down, sinking into the mud underneath me, as I winced, gave just enough of a push to let my body do the rest, filling up the seat of my diaper, making it feel almost as squishy as the mud squeezing between my toes, but much more icky. I stood there for a minute, nose wrinkling, wishing I hadn't gone so far across the field.

But, unfortunately, I wasn't going to get back by way of regrets, so I sighed and started to walk, even more slowly and gingerly, not caring if I looked like I was waddling. Stupid Jen, I thought grumpily, ignoring the fact that I probably would have waited just as long to go home even if she hadn't decided to cut off my use of the bathroom completely the day before. It was all her fault anyway.

"I wondered if I was going to have to go looking for you." Jen eyed me when I opened the door, bashfully slipping inside, flip-flops on. "Looks like you had a good time."

"I guess so," I blushed.

"Well, c'mon, I have a bath ready for you," she got up, holding out a hand to lead me to the bathroom. A devious smile spread across her face as she took my hand, then pulled me closer to her, using her other hand to pull back the waistband of my slightly mud spattered shorts and diaper. "Uh-oh, did someone have an accident?" Her giggles only grew louder when I glared at her, trying to free my hand. "Don't worry, babe, we'll get you all cleaned up, and then we can have some lunch, okay?"

The water was a little cooler than I wanted, at least while Jen got the worst of the mud off of me, as she had apparently expected me back sooner. Jen told me it wouldn't kill me, and I guess it didn't, but it didn't make me happy either. It wasn't too bad once she filled the tub back up to wash the rest of me, and my hair, though. I might have drifted off to sleep if I wasn't feeling so hungry. It felt nice to be all clean, after my adventures, and in equally clean clothes, even if those included another diaper.

Lunch was a starting to get cold, too, but Jen actually did something about that, warming up my fish sticks and tater tots - though not the applesauce, which she luckily hadn't put onto the plate yet - and sending me into the living room, switching on the movie, leaving the remote control beside me in case it got too scary for me, promising to be there as soon as she got some stuff done.

The movie started out pretty boring, so I watched her going to the bathroom, coming back out with my dirty clothes. I heard her walk downstairs, and, after a few minutes, the washing machine started, only to be drowned out by the door being closed when Jen returned to the upstairs, and replaced by the sound of her doing dishes.

I felt a pang of guilt, knowing I should be helping her. She had gotten by without me for the rest of the week, and part of the week before, however, since she had sent me to my room for my nap before she started them; she would be fine for another day. Besides, babies didn't do dishes, and if she was going to treat me like one, I didn't mind acting the role, or at least the parts that got me out of chores.

By the time I started to actually watch the movie, all of the main characters had already gotten introduced, or so I assumed, while I'd been distracted, which made it both boring and confusing. Nobody really seemed to be doing anything about the monsters - who were only showing up every once in a while and roaring uselessly, much less scarily than I remembered, in the shadows - until one of them got killed.

I was done with my food, or at least as much of it as I planned to eat, if I could get away with it, before the monster was actually shown. That was when I simply turned off the television, disappointed. Sure, it had big teeth, just like the ones in my dream, and kinda creepy big eyes, but, after last night, it didn't look scary at all, just kinda dumb. If it had been them in my nightmare, I never would have gotten knocked down, I was sure of that.

Jen hurried in, hurriedly drying off her hands on the towel she was holding. "Are you okay?" she asked frantically. "I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't think..."

"No, I'm fine," I shrugged, handing her my plate and hopping off the couch. "I'm just gonna go take a nap."

"You sure?" she raised an eyebrow. I nodded, yawned, started towards my room. "Penni, get back here and finish your lunch."

"I'm too sleepy," I claimed, giving another big yawn, a little faker than the last, at least to begin with, before rushing off before she could catch me. I heard her sighing behind me, but she didn't say anything else, except for "Sweet dreams, baby," when she came to my room to drop off a bottle of juice for me.

I even drank a little of it before I fell asleep, one arm around Mrs. Ellenstofalix while I held the bottle with the other, satisfied that, if we -did- get attacked by those monsters again, we could take care of them.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Well, -I- think it's cute, no matter what you say," Jen told me, straightening out the top. "Don't be such a little sourpuss."

"I'm not," I protested, glowering and crossing my arms, until Jen reached over and moved them back down to my sides before opening the door of the dressing room, where Caileigh was waiting, looking a little uncomfortable to be standing in Wal-Mart in a light blue bikini, even if she did look pretty, which I made sure to tell her.

"Thank you," she smiled down at me, in my own swimsuit, a two piece as well, though much different than hers, both parts being a good bit bigger than their counterparts on her. Mine was also pink, the shoulder straps of the upper part all ruffled, with a rhinestoned picture of a flower on the front, which went down to a few inches above my belly button. The bottom had a skirt attached - hiding the diaper underneath quite well - the hem of which had even more ruffles, and a little appliquéd flower on one corner. "You look adorable."

I guess it -was- kind of cute, but that didn't mean I had to like it. If I thought it would do any good, I would have said no to every swimsuit in the store. Jen wasn't overly concerned with what I wanted, however, as usual.

"Looks good," Jen nodded to Caileigh, who was turning around for her.

"I guess," she murmured doubtfully, staring down at herself. "It's probably the best I'll find, anyway."

"That's the right attitude to have," Jen teased, starting to push me back into the dressing room. "I think we're going to get this one."

"Well, I'm going to try on a few more, just in case," Caileigh shrugged. "I'll meet you guys up by the bathrooms, okay?"

"You sure?" Jen asked, keeping a hand on my shoulder, but starting to turn to face her friend. "We can wait if you want."

Caileigh shook her head. "No, I'm good. You still have stuff to get." I heard Nadine, sitting on the floor next to her sister's changing room, boredly playing with her shoelaces, giggle at that, and I felt my face grow warm.

I still couldn't believe Jen was planning on buying swim diapers for me, though I wasn't quite sure why I couldn't. I mean, it wasn't like it should have been a huge surprise. I was more surprised to hear Nadine tell me Caileigh wasn't making her wear them, but, then again, she -was- the one with the nice big sister.

Even if it hadn't been for that, I still wouldn't be looking forward to the trip, any more than my near constant complaints on the car ride into town, until Nadine had quietly offered to tape my mouth shut, would have indicated. I'd only been to a pool once before, and I had only vague recollections of that, all unhappy.

Yet, Jen had still been surprised when I told her I didn't have a swimsuit, at first thinking I was using that as another excuse to try to get out of going. She had one, and Nadine had one, and they wanted a chance to use them. Caileigh had, too, although she was closer to being on my side, since Jen had needed to talk her into coming with us, assuring her it wouldn't be a bother to go shopping for a swimsuit with her, since we were already going to have to do that.

I hadn't even gotten talked into it - Jen had just told me it was what we were doing, and if I wanted to be a spoil-sport, that was fine, but it wasn't going to change anything. And she was right. No matter what I tried, I couldn't convince her to change her mind about anything.

"I don't see why I need those," I pouted, once I was redressed in my yellow sun dress and standing beside her, in the baby aisle once more, most likely incredibly lucky Jen hadn't yet dug my pacifier out of the diaper bag. "It's not like I'm gonna go in the water or anything."

"We're getting them because they match your towel," Jen proclaimed, lifting up a package and showing me the design - Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and Flounder and the crab whose name I could never remember. It did look a lot like the beach towel I had, probably back from the last time I'd gone to the pool, since I couldn't remember getting it. "And because you might change your mind, once you see everyone else having fun. I really think you'll enjoy it, Penni," she claimed, for about the zillionth time.

I didn't bother to disagree with her, even though I knew it wasn't true. There was no fun to be had in the pool, that I knew for sure.

I felt even more certain of the fact once we arrived at the pool, and I got ushered into the changing room, where Jen switched out my by then wet diaper for one of the Little Swimmers, gushing over how cute it was, lamenting that I wouldn't let her take me out into the pool in just the swim suit top and that.

"Quit teasing her and get changed," Caileigh demanded impatiently, looking only slightly less nervous to be wearing the blue bikini at the pool than she had been in the store, but still eager to get into the water.

"Well, you finish her up, then," Jen stuck out her tongue, although I could tell she knew Caileigh wouldn't really mind, then went to get changed, almost running into Nadine as she came up to my stall as well, already in her dark purple suit, a little smaller than mine, and without the skirt, although otherwise quite a bit like the one I was half dressed in, except with stars instead of flowers.

"I can put it on myself, if you want," I offered as Caileigh reached for the bottom of my suit.

"I don't mind," she assured me gently. "Although if you don't want me to..." I shook my head, hearing her voice grow a little sad with those last words. She smiled at my gesture, slid the second piece of my suit up my legs, over the diaper, before lifting me down, brushing out the skirt a tad. "So, why don't you want to go swimming, cutie?"

"I just don't like it," I shrugged, wishing I had a somewhat more concrete reason, as Caileigh seemed to expect me to have, since she waited for a few moments before speaking.

"I'm glad you decided to come anyway," she told me, giving me a little hug.

I decided not to correct her about my "decision", instead hugging her back for a moment before asking, "How come you didn't want to?"

She blinked, tilted her head to the side. "What are you talking about, sweetie?"

"You didn't wanna come either," I informed her.

She continued to look confused, only slightly less so. "Well, I didn't want to go shopping for a swimsuit, because I knew I'd end up with something like this."

"But you look pretty," I insisted again.

"Thanks," she smiled, arms tightening around me once more, not making her voice sound any more convinced.

"Ready?" Jen asked, reappearing in her green swimsuit. I nodded reluctantly, preparing myself for what was sure to be a rather boring afternoon, but when Jen took my hand, she didn't lead me to the pool, but to one of the showers along the back of the changing room.

"Why are we taking a shower?" I grumped at her. "We could have done this at home."

"Oh, shush," she rolled her eyes, turning the faucet, sending cold water spraying down onto my head. I gave a squeak and jumped back, not expecting it to feel quite so cool, but Jen grabbed me and pulled me back under for a minute before turning the water back off.

"That was dumb," I told her. "What was the point of that?"

"Penni, would you like me to get your pacifier out right now?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips and glaring down at me.

I drew back, a little offended, but not as much as I tried to sound. "I just asked a question," I sulked.

"It's one of the rules, babe, that's all, okay?" she sighed, reaching down to try to ruffle my wet hair.

"I guess," I shrugged, let myself get led outside, where Jen stashed the diaper bag in a little locker before we finally got to the pool. My tummy started to twist up as the water came into view, and all the people in it, and around it. Most of them were Caileigh and Jen's age, though there were some around my age, maybe, off at the shallow end, where Jen took me.

"Now, are you sure you don't want me to try to teach you how to swim?" she asked, glancing over to the other end of the pool.

"I'm still not going in," I said adamantly. "Still don't need to know how to swim."

"If you say so, sweetie," she shrugged. "But you stay right here, okay? If you change your mind, don't go out any deeper than this without getting me first."

"All right," I agreed, mostly to get her to leave me alone, since it wasn't planning on changing my mind. And if I did, I wasn't going to do so in water that was taller than me. Even the shallowest part wasn't -too- many inches shorter than me, at least judging by the marking on the wall of the pool, underwater.

"I'll be right over there if you need me," she pointed towards the part of the pool Caileigh was reluctantly climbing into. "And I'll come check on you in a little while."

"I can sit by myself just fine," I hissed, wishing she would leave me alone. "I don't need to be checked on."

Jen started to open her mouth, most likely to once again try to convince me I would have a good time if I would just let myself, but closed her eyes and sighed instead, I guess realizing that it wouldn't do any good. "I'll be back in a little while," she repeated. "Don't drown."

"I'll try not to," I stuck my tongue out at her as she walked away, then wandered away from the edge of the pool, to where my towel was spread out across the ground, my copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland waiting for me. I laid down on my tummy, picked it up, and pretended to read a page or two, legs idly kicking back in forth in the air behind me, as I attempted to block out the sounds of splashing and laughing and yelling all around me.

"You are so boring," Nadine informed me as she walked up, dripping slightly, and grabbed the book out of my hands.

"Give that back!" I demanded, sitting up quickly, angrily.

"I don't think I will," she breezed lightly, completely and obviously unworried about me being mad at her, maybe even enjoying it.

I switched tactics. "Nadine, please, just give it back... Please?"

She hesitated for a moment, looking as if she were planning on taking off and making me chase her, before tossing the book back to the ground. "Fine, don't cry, baby. Take it." I glared up at her, but she didn't give me a chance to come up with a good reply. "Are you planning on laying here all day?"

"Maybe," I shrugged.

"Jeez, you -are- boring," she rolled her eyes. "You probably can't even swim, can you?"

"I can swim just fine," I fibbed, figuring it didn't count if it was to Nadine. "I just don't like to."

"Suuuure you can," she nodded.

I blushed, stared back down at my book. "Go 'way."

"Fine, have fun being a bookworm," she shrugged, leaving me alone to go back into the pool. I lifted my head, watching her slip back into the water and start swimming off, sitting up with a sigh once I was sure she wasn't paying any attention to me. I knew I wasn't going to be getting anything read with all the noise, and if I was just going to be sitting there, I reasoned, I might as well be a little cooler.

I slipped off my flip-flops and edged closer to the edge of the pool, dodging around a couple boys playing with water guns, until their mommy told them to stop it, and sitting down, cross legged, on the concrete. It was pretty warm, so I worked up the courage to move my legs off of it quickly, uncoiling one and cautiously lowering it towards the water.

I drew it back just as quickly as my toe descended into the liquid, even colder than I would have imagined. Still, it was probably better than it being hot, since the rest of my body already was, so, after a few moments of procrastination while my foot waited patiently above the water, I plunged it down, all at once, shivering with the coolness starting to rise up my body. After another minute, I put my other foot down as well, the shivering not lasting nearly as long that time.

Nadine was still swimming off on the other side of the pool, by herself. She didn't seem to have noticed me, so I started to kick my feet lightly, giggling a little at the splashes I was making, perhaps a little more engrossed with it than I realized, so that I didn't notice the person squatting down beside me until he spoke.

"Pretty hot out, huh?"

I swallowed back a loud squeak, unable to keep from jumping, inching away from him. He was probably around Jen and Caileigh's age, I figured, like most of the others, though there was something different about him I couldn't quite place.

"Sorry about that," he smiled. I wasn't sure if he was trying to be nice, or talking down to me, so I just glared at him suspiciously. "My name is Mark," he held out his hand.

I shook it, still feeling a bit apprehensive, but not wanting to appear rude. "I'm Penni."

"Well, Penni, I've been watching you, and I was wondering - do you know how to swim?"

I gave a loud sigh; why was everybody asking that today?

He held up his hands quickly. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything, I just thought you might be interested in coming to one of my swimming classes. You look about the right age, and we can always use new students."

"I dunno," I shrugged, since it sounded better than just plain no.

"Let me know if you want to know more about it, okay?" He started to get up, then settled back down. "So, are you here by yourself, Penni?"

I shook my head, pointing across the pool. "Nope, Jen and Caileigh brought me. And Nadine too, I guess."

He nodded, began to get up again, stopped this time by me. "Do you think Caileigh's pretty?"

He froze, blinked a couple times, start to laugh lightly. "I don't know which one she is, hon."

"She's right over there," I rolled my eyes, pointing at her again. He should have just paid attention last time, but I decided against telling him that. Boys could be a little slow at times, or so I'd noticed with the ones in my class. "In the blue bikini."

He looked around for a minute before -finally- seeing her. "Yeah, she's pretty. Is she your sister?"

"No," I sighed sadly. He glanced at me quizzically, didn't ask anything else. "You should go tell her," I told him, starting to kick my legs in the water again. "She won't believe me."

His expression was amused, surprised. "You think so?" he asked after a moment.

"Yeah." I was starting to get annoyed with him. Why would I have suggested it if I didn't think so? Yeesh...

"Well, I'll see what I can do." He got to his feet, towering over me. "See ya, Penni."

"Bye," I called politely, so as not to sound -too- glad to have him gone. I almost wished he wouldn't take my advice, if only to spare Caileigh from having to deal with him. At least she was more patient than me.

I looked around for Nadine, who appeared to have vanished, though I didn't spend too much time searching for her before my gaze drifted over to Caileigh and Jen, who were now both talking to Mike. I waved to them when he pointed me out to a somewhat flustered Caileigh, and an amused Jen.

They were still talking when, a few minutes later, I felt my tummy start to twinge. My face turned red, as suddenly it seemed as if there were twice as many people around me. I tried to wave Jen over to me, not expecting her to let me out of the diaper or anything, but hoping she would at least take me to the bathroom beforehand so I wouldn't have an accident around all these people.

When she didn't notice, too busy talking, I pulled my feet out of the water with a sigh, putting them under me to stand up, stretching a little, then started to make my way around the pool. My pace picked up once my tummy told me to, though I did my best to obey the sign they seemed to have up every five feet, saying "No running."

I guess I didn't follow it quite as well as I should have, however, as I was only halfway to Jen when retribution struck, and I felt my foot slip, seemingly helped by a shove on my back, probably delivered by the purple suited person I saw rushing off, a second before my body struck the water, the sound of my shriek drowned out as I fell into the waves, eyes closing automatically.

I started to splash around desperately, my mind going completely blank, unsure of what I was supposed to do. I tried to gasp for breath, without really thinking about it, ended up with a mouthful of water, then another when I tried to cough up that one as it rushed into my body. I felt fresh air on my arm for a brief moment, before it was submerged again.

I forced my eyes open, so I could figure out at least which way was up, winced and squinted as the water flowed around my eyeballs, like it was trying to move past them, and fill up the inside of my head, the only part of me that didn't already feel soaked. I started to kick my legs, vaguely recalling seeing the people swimming doing that, as I squeezed my eyes shut again, sure, for just a moment before they closed, that I saw the moon at the bottom of the pool, laughing up at me.

And then I felt somebody's arms around me, and I was back in the air, coughing violently as I got laid down next to the pool. "You all right there, Penni?" a voice asked, and I heard a splash as the body attached climbed out of the pool beside me.

I opened my eyes cautiously, closed them most of the way when I felt the sun shining straight into them. "I guess," I groaned, starting to sit up.

"Oh my God!" Jen screamed before scooping me up, hugging me against her. "Are you okay, baby?"

"I just said I was," I glared at her, trying to push away from her too-tight embrace.

She didn't seem to notice, lifting her face from the top of my head. "Thank you, Mike," she gushed. "Thank you so much!"

"Just doing my job," he shrugged, suddenly embarrassed for some reason.

"And here I thought your job was talking to pretty girls," a gruff voice spoke up behind him. "Or I would have guessed as much from watching you." The man leaned down, face softening for Jen. "Is your little girl all right?"

Jen blushed, while I rolled my eyes; did -nobody- listen to me? "She's fine," she said, quickly adding, "and she's my sister," though that was directed more at Mike than the man.

"That's good to hear," the man nodded. "At least I'm not paying this idiot for nothing." Mark shifted uncomfortably, began to open his mouth. "Oh, just go watch the pool, and I'll deal with you later," the man told him, and Mike vanished, up the weird, tall chair by the side of the pool, while the man wandered off, muttering.

"What happened, sweetie?" Caileigh asked, so that I finally noticed her sitting beside me.

I began to tell her Nadine had pushed me again, but she looked so worried; I didn't want to risk making her mad at me, in case she didn't believe me this time. Besides, I guess I didn't know for sure if it had been Nadine or not, or if I was really lying as the words, "I slipped," spilled from my mouth.

Then I remembered why I had slipped, and my face turned red again. "And... umm... I..."

Jen's hand moved from my back down to my bottom as she stood, taking me up with her, for once not making me try any harder to admit it. "Well, let's go get your diaper nice and dry."

My blush deepened, but I couldn't correct her, not with all these people around, and probably not even if we were alone. Then I felt somebody else taking a hold of me, taking me away from Jen. "I'll take care of it," Caileigh said quietly, rubbing my back. "I never did get the chance the other day."

Before I could protest, we were on the way back to retrieve the diaper bag, just the two of us. I squirmed nervously, remembering Nadine's evil plan, and wondering if it would work on Caileigh, the person I -didn't- want mad at me? But, on the other hand, since it was her, and she was nice, she might let me use the toilet, like a big girl. I wasn't sure if she knew about Jen's proclamation in Blockbuster, but she might not.

I almost got the chance to find out, working my courage up nearly to the brink of asking before chickening out, and purposely wetting my diaper while she got the changing pad out and spread it out to lay me down on it, tummy twisting and groaning while she gently changed my diaper.

"There, that's better, isn't it?" she smiled down at me, kissing my forehead.

"Yeah," I agreed, trying to sound more grateful than listless, although that was difficult to do when you know you're going to have another accident in not too long. She took my hand, picking up the diaper bag with the other, led me towards the door, back out to the pool, away from my possible freedom from diapers, if only for a few minutes. Anxiety forced my voice to work before I realized it, saying her name quietly, but not too much so that she couldn't hear me.

"What is it?" she knelt down, brushing a damp strand of hair out of my face.

I began to blush again, stared down at my feet, the words vanishing from my mind instantly, their replacements true, though not at all helpful. "You're a lot better at changing me than Jen."

"Thank you, sweetie." She was still grinning when we got back to my beach towel, where, after confirming I was okay, which somehow wasn't nearly as annoying when she did it, she left me to read, and try to keep my diaper clean for as long as possible.

After a little while, I saw Nadine again, splashing in the water by herself, as if nothing had happened, and she hadn't just tried to drown me a few minutes earlier, tore my eyes away before she could catch me staring.

Someday, I told myself, shifting uncomfortably in my squishy pants, too embarrassed to get off of my towel in them, not entirely comfortable with the thought of getting near the water again. Someday she would understand what it was like, and then she'd be sorry for how she treated me.

Someday.

Although, as I squirmed with wrinkled nose, waiting for Jen to come check on me, I wished that day had already happened, back before I had been stupid enough to take her advice.

I -knew- we shouldn't have gone to the stupid pool. Dumb Jen, and her "You'll have fun if you give it a chance!"s.

What did she know?

Elizabeth

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Don't need a nap," I repeated to Mrs. Ellenstofalix, who was at least sympathetic, if quietly so, and not enough to actually do anything about it. She could be pretty lazy, really, but I was willing to forgive her, since she did come in handy every once in a while. She was probably just saving up her energy for when she needed it.

Mrs. Ellenstofalix listened, anyhow, which was, by itself, better than Jen's reaction of completely ignoring me, handing me my bottle and switching off my light even before I had finished my protest.

I sat up grumpily, crinkily, grabbing the bottle for a long drink, listening for Jen bustling about outside. She hadn't even gotten the dishes done before shooing me into my room, despite my offer to help her, like I was supposed to be doing anyways. Well, too bad for her, I told myself with a nod. I didn't want to help her, after all. She could do them all by herself for all I cared.

I leaned over to open my door a crack, nearly falling off the bed as I reached my arm over the vast abyss underneath me, stretching off in every direction - well, other than behind me, where there was a wall I, and the pillow behind my back, was leaning on - for miles and miles. I managed to keep from falling in, from falling forever and ever, always downward, like Alice in the rabbit hole, except with no Wonderland, because there was no bottom, by grabbing onto the doorknob with the tips of my fingers, just barely enough to save my balance.

"Watch out," Mrs. Ellenstofalix called, a little late.

"Thanks for the help," I stuck my tongue out at her, inching a little closer to the edge, so that my fingers went further around the knob, and I could begin to turn it, slowly, slowly, trying to be quiet as a mouse, even if Jen was likely on the other side of the house by now. Better safe than sorry, especially in times like these.

The door swung open, slightly, once again nearly causing me to fall, one knee slipping an inch before my hand moved over to the door frame, keeping me steady enough. I could see out into the hallway, a little more than I had meant to be able to. Luckily, I could hear then the dishes clanking around in the kitchen after all.

I listened for a few moments, making absolutely sure what I was hearing before crawling back across the bed slowly, careful not to get thrown off the bed, or make too much noise, as it did tend to squeak at times. My bookshelf was too far away from the foot of my bed, no matter how far I dared to lean over the darkness, so, instead, I headed over to my desk, which was also too far away, floating serenely in the black.

The chair, however, was -not- too far away, or at least it didn't look that way. I stood up cautiously, toes dangerously close to the abyss. I moved one foot back an inch or two, just to be safe, then stepped over the darkness, gulping, keeping my eyes up until I was pretty certain my foot was right above the chair. My eyes darted down for a split second, just to be safe, and straight back up as I set my foot down, then brought the other foot over to the chair, hoping it wouldn't start floating away, or else I wouldn't be able to get back onto the bed. At least not without alerting Jen of my not-sleepingness.

Although I was more worried about the moon knowing, to be honest. I was pretty sure Jen couldn't reach me here, in the darkness, but he could. He was used to getting around in space, and, while I wasn't certain if this was space or not, it was at least similar enough that he would probably feel more at home here than I did.

My desk was mostly empty during the summer, since I didn't have a bunch of homework to spread out across it. Every now and then, I would put a book I was reading on it, but mostly there was just my little can, which I kept most of my pens and pencils, even a few colored ones, from a couple sets I'd gotten, then lost the boxes to. There was a purple marker in there at the moment, too, but only because I'd forgotten to put it with my others last time I'd used them.

For the last couple weeks, however, my sticker book had been sitting there as well, removed from its normal spot on the top shelf of my bookshelf, the only one tall enough for it to fit in, in the hopes that, if it was out, I would remember to work on it. The sheets of dragon stickers Jen had bought me at the bookstore were sitting inside the cover, waiting to be put on the pages, along with a couple smiley face stickers from Wal-Mart, which I might have had enough of by then to have one on every page of the book.

At least this exile to nothingness would give me time to get it up to date, I thought happily, picking it up, running my fingers over its soft, purple cover with a giggle. It felt so weird - that was probably the biggest reason I had chosen it to hold my sticker collection. That, and the pages were nice and thick, with a nice feel to them as well, more like construction paper than normal paper.

I turned around to face my bed, heart falling down into my tummy when I saw that it appeared to have gotten further away after all. Mrs. Ellenstofalix was still resting next to my pillow, as it was obviously too much work to even mention this sort of thing to me. "Thanks a lot," I hissed at her, patience beginning to wear thin. I didn't care if she had saved me in the forest or not, that had been long enough ago that she should have had enough energy stored up to help out again. After all, pretty much all she did was sleep.

The soft snoring that greeted my ears, forcing my eyes to roll almost of their own accord, informed me that was what she was doing even then. "Wake up!" I whispered, not daring to let my voice get any louder. "Mrs. Ellenstofalix!"

She rolled over, ears flapping a tiny bit. Well, fine. I didn't need her. I glanced nervously from the chair to the bed, thought quietly for a minute or two, nodded. It should still be -just- close enough to step onto, if I got close enough to the edge of the seat. I inched closer, weighing in my mind whether I would rather know I had good balance there, or if I wanted to make sure I could get across.

I settled on what should have been a good mixture of the two, keeping most of my heels firmly on the chair, though my toes were completely out in the open, leaned forward as far as I could, lifting one foot gingerly, the courage to step over the void almost built up.

Then I felt myself falling. I gave a shriek, launching my book in front of me to free up my hands to wave uselessly, though I was glad to see it land safely on my bed. Most of me wasn't quite as lucky, although I did manage to grab a hold of the bed and pull myself the rest of the way up, ignoring the pain in my knees. The abyss was harder than I thought it would be.

And louder.

"What in the world are you doing in there?!" Jen shouted, her voice coming closer with ever word. "You're supposed to be asleep, young lady!"

I didn't have long, and my options were limited, none of them - well, except for the one where I got Jen's sympathy, then convinced her that I didn't need a nap while she was under my spell - helped any by the tears that started to well in my eyes. I spared my knees a quick look, glad to see that they weren't bleeding, and also glad to note that the floor appeared to have come back, since I could see my chair tipped over on its side on top of it, most likely to assist Jen more than me.

Too bad for it, I decided. For a second, I considered going across it, to my window, so I could go out of it, like people on television did, but I knew there was a screen in my way, and, despite being on the first floor, it had always seemed like there would be a long drop from the window to the ground. Snatching up my sticker book, I rolled off the side of my bed further away from the door, sliding underneath just as my door came open and the light turned on. I inched closer to the other side, watching the shadows of Jen's feet walk across the floor, over to my chair, which she picked up.

"All right, where are you?" she demanded, standing still, probably looking around. The way I saw it, she would search one of two places first, when I didn't answer. One was my closet, and the other was where I was actually hidden.

I held my breath, clutching the book tighter to my chest, watching her toes rise and fall impatiently. "You're asking for it, Penni," she told me, not bothering to inform me just what this "it" was, although I assumed it wouldn't be pleasant. Her feet moved closer to the bed, and I began to squirm backwards with a sharp intake of breath, but at the last moment, she turned, headed for the closet instead.

I let out a sigh of relief, mostly on accident, although I was happy to see that she apparently hadn't heard. I moved closer to the edge of the bed, waiting for the sound of my closet door coming open. It seemed to take a year or two, but finally it came. I hurriedly crawled out, keeping down on my knees and hands, dragging along my sticker book with me, until I was out my doorway, when I broke into a full run, knowing Jen had probably seen me by then, and that was the only way I'd have a chance of getting away.

I heard her voice behind me, though didn't stop long enough to pay any attention to the words. I could probably have guessed them rather easily; I just didn't particularly want to. The handle of the back door was my biggest obstacle, other than keeping from falling on my face as I turned to head towards it rather than the sink. I fumbled with the knob for a few moments, heart pounding, sure I was about to feel Jen's hand on my shoulder any second, but then the door came open, nearly dropping me onto my knees again, this time onto the step outside.

I kept running, across our yard and into Caileigh and Nadine's, even though I doubted Jen would bother chasing me any further than the house. I only let myself slow down when I was halfway across the field, and dared a glance over my shoulder, where I found nothing but grass, gently blowing in the breeze. I stopped altogether for a minute, to catch my breath, then continued, much more slowly, on my trek up to the loft.

I didn't work on my sticker book up there too often, because it was too dusty, and sometimes, if I wasn't careful, I would have trouble getting the stickers to go onto the page correctly, especially if I left them stuck to the tip of my finger for too long, deciding on the best place to put them. Besides, I didn't like to take the chance of getting the cover dirty. Just once wouldn't hurt, though.

I was glad not to find Nadine waiting for me - she thought my collection was stupid, and might try to steal my new stickers, or even my whole book. The tub was still out behind the barn, I knew, and a little shudder ran up my spine at the thought of Nadine throwing the book into it. It was the sort of thing she would do.

I set the book down on the old chair up in the loft carefully, once I had dusted off the seat, then pulled the chair over to the overturned bucket, where I could sit and work without having to kneel, since my knees didn't feel very happy with me.

The chair was big enough that I could have the book open on it, but doing so didn't leave much room to spread out the stickers around it, as I liked to have it, since I tended to forget about them if I couldn't just see them. Still, there weren't too many new ones, so I didn't think it would be much of a problem.

What -would- be a problem, on the other hand, wasn't really anything I could have helped, in the short time I'd had to plan my escape, and then execute it. Unfortunately, it was a rather large problem, almost enough to send me straight back home, to see if I could find a way to sneak back inside. That would be much harder than getting out, I knew, since at least for that I didn't have to worry about Jen knowing what I was up to, once I reached a certain point. If she even suspected I was back, I was certain she would find a way to lock up the entire house before I accomplished my mission.

Yet it might have been worth the risk. After all, without my crayons, and color pencils, how was I supposed to actually get anything -done-? I never liked just putting the stickers on a blank page - that just seemed boring. Instead, I preferred to draw around them, to make them part of a bigger picture, or sometimes a story, even. Besides, none of the fresh pages even had a border around the edges yet.

But I would just have to make do, I decided sadly. If I went back now, not only would I be put back to bed, Jen might decide to keep my book, at least until she decided I was being well behaved enough to get it back. Or, to be more precise, when I was being enough of a well behaved baby, she might give it up.

So I pulled out the stickers and started trying to imagine the scenes I could make on each page - a recreation of the darkness that had invaded my room earlier, but with decent dragons around to help me out this time, instead of a lazy one who just slept; a castle, where all the dragons lived, unless they were out breathing fire, or fighting with knights, or whatever; a field, like the one outside, a little muddy, but not too bad, just right for playing.

I had wet my diaper by the time I started peeling off the stickers and carefully putting them in the right places, hoping I could remember what the pages were supposed to look like once I got home. I made sure to put the smiley face sticker that normally would have gone on the top right of the abyss page, like the sun, except not quite, since I hadn't drawn the rays around it yet, onto the next blank page, behind the ones I would be filling up. That should remind me which one that was, anyway.

I sighed sadly as I stuck the face onto the page, seeing that there weren't many more pages behind it. I'd had the book for awhile, but it still seemed like it shouldn't have gotten filled up so quickly. I mean, sure, I had pulled out one of the pages to write my letter to Santa on last Christmas, figuring he would like the special paper, and then taken out another when I remembered I had already asked mommy for most of the things on that list, and I had ripped a couple of pages I'd screwed up out, therefore losing the coolest unicorn sticker I'd ever found, but even so, I should have had more pages than that.

There was enough for what I was going to do that day, anyway, and enough pages already finished to lose myself in once I had finished that and started flipping through. I'd forgotten a lot of the pages, really, and as I looked at them, I began to wonder about my new ones, worried they wouldn't stand up to my older works, that they would stand out, and look dumb. Had I wasted another three pages? I asked myself nervously, although I knew I wouldn't have the answer until I got home, and broke out the crayons.

I glanced up from the book, eyes squinting a bit, curious as to what time it was. My bottom felt a little numb, not to mention damp, more so than normal, when I stood up, and I glanced down quickly to make sure I hadn't leaked. My shorts still looked dry, thankfully, but my diaper was feeling pretty heavy and wet, definitely ready for a change, hopefully back into panties.

As I wrestled the barn door closed, I happened to notice my fingernails, getting a bit long. Mommy would have to cut them soon, I thought with a sigh. I didn't particularly mind the thought of it, but the actual execution was sooo boring, because it took forever, at least. When I'd cut them on my own, I had tried to prove that you didn't have to be so slow about it, and ended up cutting down too far, which really, really hurt. I'd let mommy take care of it ever since, and did my best not to complain. That didn't mean I couldn't -think- about how awful it was, however.

I took my time walking home, so I could be certain Jen wouldn't have any excuse to put me in another diaper, since it would just be dumb for me to wear one for like five minutes before mommy got home. As it turned out, I didn't have to worry about that.

Mommy's car was waiting for me in the driveway.

At first I was glad my plan had worked, all the way up until I remembered the sagging diaper under my shorts. My tummy gave a sharp twist, nearly causing me to burst into tears where I stood, between our and Caileigh's yard.

"That isn't going to help," I told myself sternly, reaching up to wipe my eyes. If I could make it out of the house around Jen, I could surely make it back in... Couldn't I?

I crept up to the back door, put my ear against it, listening for any tell tale signs that mommy had started dinner yet. If she had, she was being very quiet about it, though that was how she tended to be. Back against the wall, I slid over, hopping off the step, moving under the window.

I got up onto my tip toes, stretching up as far as I could, feeling the warm air blowing against my tummy as my T-shirt raised up, too. If I wasn't holding on to my sticker book, I might have been able to grab the window sill and lift myself up a little higher, so I started to look around, nearly having a heart attack when I saw an amused Nadine beside me.

"-There- you are," she whispered, grabbing my arm and pulling me out from under the window. "Jen is going to kill you, you know."

"I told her I didn't need a nap," I sulked, twisting around a bit in an attempt to loosen her grip. "Look, will you let me go in? I need a change."

"Yeah, I'll say you do," she murmured, turning me around critically.

"What?" I tried to look over my shoulder, nearly swallowing a mouthful of hair.

Nadine sighed. "Just go around to the front door, and I'll try to keep your mom distracted while you get in. And don't let her see the back of your shorts."

I nodded, blushed, wondering if I'd leaked after all, then narrowing my eyes suspiciously. "How do I know you're not going to tell her I'm coming in the other door? I can remember how well your last plan went."

Nadine rolled her eyes. "If I wanted her to find you, I'd just yell for her right now, and she'd open that door in a second, well before you could get away from me."

"I... guess..." I said, still doubtful.

"Go, go," she shooed. I took her advice, turning as I got to the corner of the house, where she waved me on from her position on the back step.

I listened at the front door before pulling it open, satisfied that, if mommy was waiting for me, she was doing so quietly. Perhaps as quietly as Nadine was distracting her, I thought bitterly as I slipped through the house, heart jackhammering.

It almost exploded when I heard my name being said behind me. I squeaked loudly, spinning around, moving my hands, still clasping my book, down to cover up my bulging shorts as well as it could. "Hi, mommy," I smiled weakly, pretending everything was normal.

"You all right?" Her eyebrow raised, and my face began to turn red. Had I turned too late? "I need you to come set the table in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay, mommy," I nodded. She didn't stop looking at me.

"Did you work on your sticker book?" I nodded, starting to inch backwards, towards the hallway. "I'm sure you did a great job, sweetie."

"Uh-huh," I gulped, taking another step back.

"Make sure to come set the table soon, all right?" she said finally. I nodded again, waiting for her to turn around before taking my next step backwards, then my next, which happened to be straight into a wall. Mommy spun around. "What happened?"

"I'm fine!" I insisted as she started towards me, giggling nervously when I heard the volume of my voice. "I'm fine," I repeated, a little quieter.

"Okay," mommy blinked, went back to the kitchen. Once I was sure she was gone, I turned around, dashed into Jen's room.

"Jen, I need a change, hurry up!" I hissed.

She glanced up from her desk, so slowly I was sure it was on purpose. "Oh, if it isn't little miss nap-skipper," she smiled coolly, not precisely happily.

"I'm sorry," I told her quickly, to get it out of the way, since that was obviously what she wanted. "I won't do it again, just change me!"

"What's the big hurry?" she shrugged casually. "You have somewhere you need to be?"

"Jen!" I whimpered. "Mommy's home, and I leaked, and I need you to change me, now!" I made my eyes go wide with a big sniffle. "Please?"

"Your timing is wonderful, Penni," Jen rolled her eyes as she got to her feet and ushered me across the hall. "You couldn't do this -before- you ran off?"

"I didn't plan on leaking," I glowered, waiting for her to get my diaper bag back out of my closet, eyes darting over to the door every moment or two. "And I told you I was sorry."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are," she muttered, spreading out the changing pad and setting me on it, not sounding overly convinced. "You're just lucky mom is home already."

I decided it was better not to say anything else for the rest of the change, so I just laid there obediently, let myself be put back into panties, and a new pair of shorts that were pretty similar to the wet pair. If it hadn't been for the jelly stain on the old ones, I probably couldn't have told the difference, so hopefully mommy couldn't, either.

"You think you can distract mom for a minute?" Jen asked, hiding everything again.

"Sure," I shrugged. "I'm s'posed to go set the table."

Jen shook her head, exasperated. "And keeping her in the kitchen would help me sneak to the washing machine -how-, exactly?"

I glared at her, feeling a little mad, and a little stupid, but decided not to bring them up. "I guess I could show her my new pages," I said hesitantly. I didn't like showing anybody my work until it was finished, but this called for desperate measures.

"Good idea." She picked up my shorts, headed for the door. "I'll wait in the bathroom until you get her to your room, then I'll go down to the basement. Got it?"

"Got it," I nodded, following her out.

Mommy was mostly done cooking, well past the parts that involved a lot of shuffling around the kitchen and telling me to get out from under her feet. "Oh, there you are," she glanced over her shoulder. "The plates are already down," she tilted her head towards them, sitting on the counter.

"Hey, mommy," I started, moving up next to her and batting my eyes.

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked, setting down the spoon she was holding.

I blushed, stared down at my feet for a second. "I missed you," I spoke up, lifting my face a bit.

"I missed you, too," she smiled, bending down to kiss the top of my head. "Now what did you do?"

If I hadn't been trying to trick her, I would have been offended. As it was, I tried to pretend I was anyway. "I just wanted to show you my new pages," I pouted.

"How about we wait until after dinner?" she patted my shoulder. "I'm sure they'll be just as pretty then."

"No, they won't!" I insisted loudly, blushing and looking down quickly when she looked at me, surprised. "I just want you to see them now, 'cause..." My mind raced, frantically searching for anything. "...'cause I want your advice on what to draw for them."

"You didn't do that already? I thought you did that first."

"Usually," I shuffled my feet. "I just... wanted to try something different."

"Are you sure this can't wait until later?" she inquired, although I could tell she was actually pleased I was asking for her advice. I nodded, grabbed her hand, started to lead her to my room.

If close calls were the real thing, I would have had my fourth or so heart attack of the day as we passed the bathroom door, and it swung open, revealing Jen, who promptly tossed my shorts at me. "You were supposed to take those downstairs, not leave them on the floor," she scolded.

My whole body would have turned red, if it could have. I tried to fold up the shorts, but my hands were clumsy, and ended up dropping them on the floor. "I can explain!" I exclaimed quickly, although I really couldn't.

"It's all right," mommy soothed, smiling gently down at me. "Just take them down after you show me your stickers."

I blinked, glanced down at my shorts. There was no wet spot. Nor was there any on the other side, once I bent down to pick them up, turning them over curiously as mommy went ahead of me to my room. I hadn't leaked after all.

Jen ruffled my hair as she walked past, an evil smile on her face all the way to her room, from which I was sure I could hear laughing through the closed door as I went into my own room, not sure whether to be relieved or angry.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"So, how have you been, Penni?" Dr. Veitch folded her hands on her lap, smiled down at me, shifting uncomfortably in the Pull-Up I'd had to practically beg to be allowed to wear, sure now that I was in her office that she could notice even that. She had that tendency, to notice things you never would have expected her to.

"Okay, I guess," I shrugged listlessly, poking around the crayon box. I wasn't sure what color I wanted to make the trees, and none of the crayons particularly appealed to me. I knew there was one called "Forest Green" that should have been perfect, but it was just boring. At least for the trees - I pulled it out and set it carefully down on the floor next to the coloring book, for when I got to the horse's hooves.

"Anything new you want to talk about?" she started lightly tapping her pen against her clipboard. Already. Not a good sign, I knew. I suppose it had something to do with the fact that I hadn't really answered any of her questions yet, at least not with anything more substantial than a "maybe". Still, we weren't quite done yet. There might be one or two I felt like talking about, eventually. I had a feeling her next question would be if I didn't like talking to her anymore, or asking if I knew I could tell her whatever I wanted, though, neither of which I had any desire to hear again.

"Jen is making me take swimming lessons," I offered, my eyes twitching over towards her, gauging how frustrated I had made her so far. Other than the pen tapping, however, she seemed pretty relaxed, so I picked up the crayon box and tipped it over, letting the contents spill out into a pile that I began to sort, still watching her out of the corner of my eye. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind, since she had something new to talk about.

"Do you like swimming?" Her voice was almost excited, like she'd done something amazing. I didn't think I'd ever understand her.

"I dunno, I've never done it." I ran my hand over the crayons, smoothing them down into one layer, so I could see them all. "I don't think I will, though, because I don't like the pool."

She nodded, leaning back. "Is there any particular reason you don't like it?"

"It's cold," I started, picking out a light red crayon, holding it against the trees for a moment before shaking my head and setting it back down. "And I almost drowned. Which is why Jen says I should learn how to swim."

"Oh my!" she gasped, nearly dropping her pen. "I'm sorry to hear that, Penni. Are you all right?"

"Sure," I shrugged, sliding a blue crayon over to the trees, shaking my head slightly. "It was all stupid Nadine's fault anyway."

Dr. Veitch opened her mouth, as if about to ask another question, then changed her mind, waited for me to elaborate on my own. Instead, I settled on a green crayon, though a rather bright one, at least, and set to work on the trees. I was almost done with the first one before she got her question out, although I wasn't sure if it was the same one from a few moments before. "Are you all right with swimming again after that?"

"I don't know," I rolled my eyes, starting to get impatient with her, for a change. "I haven't ever swam before."

I thought I heard a quiet sigh from Dr. Veitch, but by the time I turned to look at her, she was the same as before. "Do you think you'll mind being around the pool, after that?"

"I guess it will be fine. Mike'll be there, and he saved me last time, so I s'pose he'll do it again if something happens." I was pretty sure nothing would, since Nadine wasn't taking the lessons.

"Oh? Who is Mike?" I could practically hear her eyebrow raise.

"He's my teacher." I skipped one of the trees, a sudden impulse striking me, making me move a gold crayon to it, so I would remember to use that color for it, once I was done with the other trees. "I'm pretty sure Jen only wants me to take the lessons so she can see him again."

She had denied it, of course, when I'd suggested it to her, after she'd brought the lessons up to mommy at dinner, glaring at me as she was bombarded by a bunch of questions about who Mike was, and how old was he, and whatever. I hadn't been paying much attention, because it was easier to push my lima beans around on my plate, which I had already been forbidden to do - "even if you aren't having fun", mommy had told me after I protested her accusation that I was playing with my food - when everyone else was distracted.

"Which is stupid," I added. "He wasn't even supposed to tell Jen she was pretty, he was s'posed to tell Caileigh. But he's kinda dumb, so he probably got all mixed up."

"Why do you think Mike is dumb?"

I rolled my eyes, glad I was facing away from her. Why wouldn't anybody pay attention to me lately? "Because he told the wrong person they were pretty. Jeez."

"Sorry, sorry," she apologized, pen scrabbling across her clipboard quickly. "Is there anything else bothering you, Penni?"

I swallowed silently, pressing down a little harder on the crayon, smushing the tip into the picture. Could she know about the diapers, somehow? Jen had assured me the Pull-Up wasn't noticeable, and I was wearing one of my longer T-shirts over my scooter, but Jen was known to lie at times, and I wasn't sure how far down my shirt went when I was lying on my stomach. I reached behind me and tugged it down nervously.

"No, not really," I fibbed, immediately returning to my coloring, tummy twisting anxiously.

"Are you sure?" she moved forward, bending over a little. "You seem uncomfortable. You know you can tell me anything you want to, right?"

"I know," I sighed. How couldn't I know? She told me that every time I came in, yet when I tried to tell her what I wanted to, she always wanted something more, or different. Why could grown-ups never make up their minds?

"So, there's nothing bothering you?"

Suddenly remembering something to talk about, I rolled over, sat up, pulling the hem of my T-shirt down unconsciously. "Mommy says I can wear nail polish again!" I exclaimed happily, showing Dr. Veitch my nails, although, since they had been cut, which had seemed to take even longer than usual, as mommy had given me the good news at the beginning, once she saw that they didn't look chewed on at all, and I couldn't wait to tell Jen the good news, mostly so I could beg her to take me shopping for my own polish.

"Oh, congratulations!" she smiled encouragingly.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, glancing down at my fingers, a little bashfully. They were short now, so the temptation to bite them was pretty low, but I was already worried that I would start again once they got longer. I couldn't even remember how I'd stopped myself before, although I did have a vague recollection of Jen always slapping at my hand if she saw me try to start. I guess that might have helped. Still, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to keep it up, and mommy had warned that if she saw me so much as nibble on any of them, I wouldn't be allowed to wear it again.

Even so, it was exciting, going to get my first bottle of my very own nail polish. Jen had offered to paint my nails with some of hers before we left, but I declined, wanting to use my own. I wanted to put it on myself, too, although I'd probably let Jen do it the first couple times, so I could watch and try to figure out how she did it without getting it all over.

"We're gonna go shopping after this," I added.

"That sounds like fun," Dr. Veitch grinned. "I bet you'd rather be there than here, huh?"

I blushed, staring down at her floor, running my finger over the carpet. "Well..."

"It's all right, Penni," she assured me. "We only have a couple minutes left anyway. Go ahead, if you want."

"Okay," I beamed, getting to my feet quickly, my bright mood quickly darkened a bit by the sight of the crayons, still all over the floor. "Oh," I said quietly. "I'll pick those up!" I offered, quickly kneeling down and starting to scoop them up into the box, wishing I could remember how they had been arranged.

"Don't worry about it," she bent down, putting her hands over mine and gently taking the box away from me. "I'll take care of it. Go on."

"You sure?" I knew I should help anyway, since I was the one who made the mess, but she nodded, so I got back up, headed for her door.

I was almost all the way across the room when I heard her say, "Penni!"

I froze, wondering if she'd noticed the Pull-Up after all. If I could have moved my hands, I would have straightened my shirt again, for all the good that would do me.

"Have a good time!" she grinned, waving. My arm thawed out enough to wave back before stumbling out, heart racing.

Jen smiled at me when she saw me, standing up to mess up my hair before taking my hand and leading me out into the horribly hot world outside. "Did you have a nice talk?" she asked, once she had lifted me into the front seat and buckled me in.

"I guess." I squirmed a little, but made myself wait for her to close the door and start walking around to the other side before letting my bladder free in my Pull-Up, feeling rather relieved to have it over with, even if it made my bottom feel all squishy. If I hadn't been so eager to look at nail polish, I would have gotten Jen to change me before we started shopping.

As it was, I shot back a hasty, "Fine!" when she asked "How's your Pull-Up doing?" in the Wal-Mart parking lot, and was glad she didn't bother to check me, although she did look suspicious.

Her next question was "You want a ride?", and took me by surprise, not to mention utter confusion, until I realized she was looking at the shopping carts. I considered it for a moment, all the more time I was willing to waste, before shaking my head. If I was in the cart, I couldn't look at the different nail polish myself, at least not very easily. And, besides, for once it felt like it was Jen who was struggling, and not very hard, to keep up with me.

"Come -on-!" I ordered, tugging on her hand pointlessly.

"It'll still be there when we get to it," she informed me calmly, picking up a basket. "We have some other things to get first, okay?"

"Jeeen!" I whined, only to be ignored, and pulled through the store, in what I was rather certain was the complete opposite direction of my nail polish. Stupid Jen, I sulked. What could we need that would be more important?

As it turned out, Jen wasn't entirely sure, either. She led us to the baby aisle well enough, but once we were there, she just started looking around, eyes lighting up as they passed over each shelf, but settling on none.

"Why are we here?" I rolled my eyes, pulling on her hand with a pout.

"You need more diapers, for one," she said, still enthralled with everything in the aisle that wasn't me. "And I thought we might pick up some other things, just for fun."

"We don't need anything else," I informed her, starting to get angry at her. "And I don't need more diapers, you're just being mean!"

Jen rolled her eyes. "Yes, you -do- need more, babe. I think I would know better than you, huh?" I just glared at her, though in my mind I was begrudgingly admitting she was right, at least on that count. I had never really looked in the diaper bag myself, and I guess it had been a little while since the last time we'd gone shopping. The days had just been pretty boring, and blended into each other for the most part.

But she wasn't right about us needing any other baby stuff. We already had diapers, and a bottle, and a pacifier that I was lucky not to have to wear in to see Dr. Veitch with, and even luckier she hadn't gotten it out for here yet, although I had a feeling that would change once I got changed. What else could we need? I couldn't even think of any other baby things. Then again, I wasn't obsessed with them, like she apparently was.

Jen's eyes fell on the baby food, all lined up next to us, dozens of pictures of the same dumb baby staring out at her as she approached, her grip on my hand loosening so she could reach up and touch them, pull one out and glancing at the label.

"I'm -not- eating that," I glowered, for all the good my protests had done me so far.

"Uh-huh," she nodded, hand moving to the next jar, enchanted. I watched her for a minute, readying another complaint, before my mind told my mouth to stay quiet. If she was busy with this, then she would never notice if I left, just for a second or two, long enough to get my nail polish and come back. The memory of the mall still haunted me, my bottom wriggling with remembered pain when I thought of it, but this was different. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I knew it was.

I took a step away from her side, paused to see if she would say anything, took another step when she didn't. We were still pretty close to the beginning of the aisle, so it only took a few more cautious steps to take me out, so I could duck into the next aisle, and plan my trek across the store from there, once I remembered exactly where my destination was.

"Penni!"

My head shot up at the voice, heart and tummy quaking at the sight of Lilly waving to me from further down the aisle. I raised one of my hands weakly, unable to find the strength to actually wave back, or run away, like I would have liked to.

"How are you doing?" she smiled, bounding down the aisle towards me.

"I-I'm fine," I stuttered, throat suddenly feeling very dry as I finally lowered my hand, moving it down to the hem of my T-shirt.

Lilly was quiet for a second, as if expecting me to say something, but there was no way that was going to happen. She began to glance around, looking almost as nervous, or perhaps just uncomfortable, as me, before her face lit up. "How was your appointment with Dr. Hugo?"

I blinked, mind blank. Dr. Hugo? When had I seen him? Lilly was starting to blush lightly, her mouth beginning to open with an apology, by the time I remembered. "Oh!" I exclaimed, then lowered my voice anxiously, recalling that Jen was just one aisle away. "It was okay," I shrugged. "I hafta go to an orthodontist, after my birthday."

"Ahh," she nodded, expression a bit perplexed for a moment before continuing. "I had to go 'cause Rose had a cavity." She shuddered at the last word, her nose wrinkling. "I hope I never get one of those."

"Yeah..." I glanced away from her, even though something she had said was tugging at the edges of my memory. "Well, I should prolly..."

"Go?" Jen finished for me, her hand clamping around my arm. "Yeah, I think you'd better, young lady."

"Jen!" I squeaked, glaring up at her and then glancing over at Lilly. Jen's eyes softened, but only a little.

"Oh, who's your friend?" she asked, voice surprised, yet gentler.

"I'm Lilly," she smiled up at Jen nervously, though I could see her eyes drifting over to the basket, where a new package of diapers and a few jars of baby food sat, and then to me, as if she was putting something together. I started to blush furiously, too petrified to do anything. "I didn't mean to get Penni in trouble or anything..."

"No, it's all right," Jen assured her. "At least you kept her from getting any further than this."

I saw a familiar figure coming down the aisle, unfreezing my body as my mind began to make frantic, horrible connections. "Jen, let's go," I hissed, pulling on her hand desperately.

"Penni!" she exclaimed, sounding a bit shocked. "Don't be so rude."

"I'm not!" I insisted, turning to Lilly and putting on the best smile I could muster. "It was nice seeing you, we hafta go, see you in school!" I told her all at once, with just enough breath left over to tell Jen, "C'mon!"

"Well, it was nice to meet you," Jen smiled down at Lilly, giving me an odd look.

"Nice to meet you, too," Lilly replied politely. "See you in school, Penni!"

I nodded, tugged at Jen, who finally started to turn, ever so slowly, almost making it all the way around before she saw the figure coming towards us, smiling and waving as she recognized Jen. My heart sank as Jen waved back to Breadstick Girl, at least as well as she could with one hand holding the basket and the other me, and I yanked on her arm again. "Come on!" I begged, feeling tears start to slide out of the corners of my eyes. "Please?"

Jen's expression softened again, and she shrugged apologetically to Breadstick Girl - or Rose, I guess - tilting her head in my direction. Rose seemed to understand, nodded in return, a knowing smile on her face.

We retreated, none too soon, and made our way back across the store, Jen lecturing me once again about not wandering off like that, and how I'd scared her half to death, blah, blah, blah. I wasn't listening to that, nor did I particularly care about it. I couldn't even bring myself to care all that much when she walked right past the nail polish, telling me I could forget about shopping for it that day.

All I could think about was the sight of Breadstick Girl walking up to Lilly just before Jen and I turned around, bending down with a smile to ask Lilly how she knew me.

Elizabeth

Chapter Thirty

"Go away," I hissed, glaring up at Jen and yanking the book back out of her hands. "I can look at books by myself."

Jen held up her hands defensively, backed away a couple of steps. I knew she was trying to be funny, but I didn't care; it was nice to see her draw back for once. Even if it might not be the best idea to give her any further reason to be mad at me that day.

The trip to the library had mostly been made to pacify me, I was pretty sure, just as I was certain it had been Caileigh's idea. Like it was most likely her who convinced Jen that putting me into a high chair at the Mexican restaurant, whose name I could never remember because it was in Spanish - Lost Naples, maybe, or something that made equally as little sense - would be a bad idea. I suppose they might have been meant as apologies, of a sort, though, as much as I appreciated them, they hardly made up for anything.

It had been almost a week since Jen had possibly let one of the only nice people in my class find out about my diapers - not nearly enough time for me to get over it, if I ever would. It didn't feel like I would, but eventually, I might forget about it. If I ever managed to live it down. Sure, Lilly was nice, or she had always seemed that way. I'd never given her any reason to be nice to me, however, and Jen might have been right about me being rude to her in Wal-Mart.

Jen offered to call Breadstick Girl, to try to explain, as if that would help. Although, if she was anything like Jen, she probably could just trick her sister into keeping quiet, or something like that. For that matter, I wouldn't have minded attempting an explanation, followed by a begging, to Lilly, if I could keep my heart from bursting through my chest while I was on the phone. Unfortunately, I had no clue what her last name was, making matters a bit difficult.

As was I. Jen had been putting me down for my nap earlier and earlier, stating crankiness as her reason, but I hardly ever went to sleep then, instead staying up and drawing, or reading, until I fell asleep, stretched out on my tummy, not caring if Jen saw I hadn't laid there quietly like I was supposed to. I almost got a spanking when Jen tried to feed me one of the jars of baby food she'd bought - chicken and rice or something like that - and I had knocked the jar off of the table, let it shatter on the kitchen floor.

Not even Nadine had dared to cross me, which was a rather nice, empowering, though lonely, feeling, knowing she was too scared to come over to the barn when she knew I was there. Still, I was lucky she hadn't told Caileigh she'd gotten the bruise on her shin from my shoe, moments before it descended onto her toes. It was almost scary how good it had felt, nearly enough to mask how much it had made -my- foot hurt. I knew Nadine would snap out of it soon enough, and make me regret ever standing up to her, but for the time being, I was enjoying the victory.

Even mommy had noticed I was in a foul mood. I'd heard her asking Jen about it, and been asked directly, although my answer had always been a shrug. I wanted so badly to tell her, to let her know what Jen had done, how she had ruined my life, but if I did that, I'd have to explain about the diapers. And, as always, that would lead back to my accident, and, almost certainly from there to my getting sentenced to an even worse punishment by her. It wasn't worth it; that didn't mean it wasn't tempting, however.

I glanced down at the book in my hands with a soft sigh. Maybe Jen was right, and Rose wouldn't even have mentioned the diapers to Lilly, after she found out I was her classmate. Maybe Lilly would turn out to be even nicer than I thought, and she wouldn't care. Maybe this whole thing would blow over, if I'd only let it, and everything would look brighter in the morning.

It was just hard to notice the light when you had to wake up in an already, or soon to be, wet diaper. I'd complained about that as much as I had about everything else over the past few days, yet Jen never changed her mind.

"Don't you like not having to get out of bed in the middle of the night?" she'd asked, reaching up to tickle my tummy lightly. I'd shaken my head, keeping my face serious as long as possible before starting to giggle at the tickling. In all honesty, I suppose that part wasn't -too- bad, although I was starting to worry, after waking a couple times to find my diaper wet, with no memory of using it. If I thought about it fairly hard, I could generally dredge up a vague recollection of waking up at night just long enough to let my bladder go; there was a night or two where I didn't have even those, however.

"What are you looking at?" Nadine asked, voice quiet, meek even, if it were being used by someone other than her.

I held the book up a little higher, so she could read the cover. Really, though, she should have known it by sight without needing to, after the number of times I'd checked it out already. It was a little beat up, the edges of the soft cover all taped up, most of the pages having a corner, or both, creased, where they had been folded over by some unknown person certainly not me.

I was expecting an eye roll, an "Again?"; all I got was "Ahh," before she wandered off to check out the books on another shelf. I began to flip through my copy of Peter Pan, trying to remember just how many times I'd held it over the past couple years, once I'd learned to read. It was the first chapter book I'd ever gotten from the library, probably because of how much I'd liked the movie.

The first time had been pretty tough going, and sometimes, it felt more like daddy - and Jen, every once in a while - was doing most of the reading. Yet, by the time it was over, I was in love with it, in spite of, perhaps because of, the struggle it had been. Once, I'd tried to convince Nadine to read it, but she always claimed to have something better to do. Too bad for her, I suppose.

I glanced around at the other books on the shelf, my eyes running over their titles. Someday, I'd have to get around to reading them as well, especially the big, long series a shelf down from Peter Pan's spot, about Oz. While the movie had been kinda creepy, I was interested in seeing what other adventures Dorothy would have there, especially since, with any luck, the flying monkeys wouldn't be around, now that the Wicked Witch was dead.

But, on that trip, I wasn't in the mood for anything new. I wanted the same old thing that I was used to, and practically didn't need the book to read anymore. There was only one other thing I would have been interested in checking out, but, as always, its spot on the last shelf, way down near the bottom, was empty.

Since Jen hadn't returned yet, or sent Caileigh to retrieve me, I sank down into one of the big, comfy chairs around the little table in the center of the kid's section, began to flip through the book, smiling as passages of text seemed to pop out at me, reminding me of different parts of the story, as if I could forget them. It was easy to get lost between the pages, and that was exactly what I did.

"You about ready to go?" Caileigh whispered, kneeling down beside my chair, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded, after giving myself a moment to consider it - I had gotten almost all the way through the book on my quick little flip-through, far enough to fill the car ride home with happy thoughts, since I couldn't read in the car without getting sick.

"All right, we'll meet you up by the front desk, then, okay?" Caileigh smiled, and I nodded again, more quickly this time. I wanted to thank her for getting Jen to do this, since I was pretty sure she never would have thought of it on her own, but by the time I came up with any words that seemed sufficient, she was gone again, leaving behind only the memory of her hand softly patting my arm.

I reluctantly got up from the chair, wishing we had one like it at home, where I could take off my shoes and curl up in the seat. I'd been tempted to try that with the chairs here a few times, but my desire to not get thrown out of the library was stronger. I fished around my pocket for my library card as I walked over to the librarian's desk, smiling shyly up at her as I slid the book and card to her.

She was a nice old lady, with glasses and light brown hair, at least where it wasn't gray. She was also pretty short, although still taller than me - I'd asked her once if that was why she worked in the kid's section, which had gotten a shocked gasp and quick apology from Jen. The librarian had just laughed, winked at me, said, "Well, the main desk -is- a little tall for my tastes."

I knew what she meant; I couldn't see over the top of that desk, which made it incredibly boring when I finished looking for books before Jen, and then followed her around until she gave in and went to check out. It was kinda fun watching my librarian check my books out, because I could watch her scan my card, and then my books, and see all kinds of stuff come up on her computer screen, too quickly for me to read it all, although one day, I was sure I'd be able to. When Jen checked books out, I couldn't watch any of that.

"Hello, there," the librarian chirped, setting down her book, pages facing towards me so that I couldn't read the title on the spine, though I could still tell that it was really, really long. But I guess if you lived in the library, you would have a lot of time to read. Still, I had my doubts about any book managing to stay interesting for -that- many pages.

"Hi!" I grinned back, bouncing on my toes. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great," she beamed, sliding my card under the red lights of the little scanner thing, handing it back to me once a beep came from the computer. "Thanks for asking, honey."

I smiled bashfully, but kept my eyes from drifting down to my feet, like they were trying to, until I scooted to the right enough to see the computer screen more clearly.

The librarian never teased me about taking out the same book so many times, for which I was glad, since I was pretty sure one of the things that came up on the screen was probably a list of every book I'd ever checked out. The second time I had gotten Peter Pan, I had been worried she wouldn't let me have it, that you could only take out the same book once, ever. I'd never asked her about that, in case she'd just forgotten about the rule. She -was- old, after all, and old people tended to have a hard time remembering stuff.

But not her, apparently. Either that, or the sheer number of times I'd bugged her had helped her memory, about this, at least. "I think I have something you might be interested in," she told me, pausing with her finger above the keyboard, about to press whatever she did that made the slip with the due date print out.

"Umm... Okay..." I was a little doubtful, unsure of what it could possibly be, though my tummy was hoping for chocolate, even if it was still feeling pretty full from lunch. One piece wouldn't kill me.

It wasn't chocolate, however, that she placed on the desk in front of me, after vanishing underneath it for a few moments, with the sound of things being moved around.

It was even better.

At first, I wasn't sure what it was, because the picture on the cover was just of a boy, nothing particularly special about him, looking nothing like he should have, given the movie I realized was based on the book, once I noticed the title. It was The Sword in the Stone, finally, all ready for me to read at last. I reached towards it, eyes wide, hands gently caressing the cover, making sure it was truly there, then flipping it open to make sure it was right, that somebody hadn't switched the dust cover with another book.

The inside confirmed it, and showed me another picture of the boy on the cover, this time trying to, rather appropriately, pull a sword out of a stone. My heart began to thump happily as I started to flip through the pages, pausing at the baffling illustrations I came across, like one of something that looked like a giant pig, another of a big bird of some sort, perched on another boy's arm. There was one of a woman I thought might be the witch from the movie, even though she looked very different, and one of a bunch of ants.

It was strange, unsettling, yet at the same time, exciting. It must be like Peter Pan, I decided, where the book was completely different, but still just as good as, the movie. Or I hoped so, at any rate.

"So, do you want to get that one, too?" the librarian inquired, eyes twinkling, once she was sure I was enthralled enough to nod, as I most certainly did, before anyone else could try to take it.

"Did you find something good?" Jen asked, once I came wandering into the main part of the library. I nodded dreamily, allowed myself to be led out to the car and put in, where I spent the entire ride home just looking through the illustrations, attempting to decipher what was going on in each of them. I didn't care if I was starting to feel tired or not - I knew I was going to start reading as soon as we got home, no matter what Jen said.

Surprisingly, home came more quickly than I'd expected, as I'd prepared myself for what was sure to feel like a long, boring ride, full of a lot of impatient bouncing and kicking the back of Jen's seat so I could get her attention and ask how much longer it was going to take. I guess I had gotten more lost in the pictures than I'd thought.

I didn't even wait for Jen to open my door; she was lucky I waited for her to turn the car off. I unbuckled my seatbelt once I noticed we were turning in to our driveway, and my hand had been waiting on the door handle ever since.

I hopped down out of the car, feeling more cheerful than I had in a long time, giving the nice, fresh air, still damp from the rain the day before, a big sniff before taking the first step towards our front door, so I could wait to be let inside.

I didn't notice Nadine sliding across the seat behind me, or begin to hop out of the car as well, not caring that I was still too close to the door for her to get out yet. All I saw was her darting around me as I felt myself stumble forward, arms flinging themselves outwards impulsively, one slamming into the car door painfully.

"Penni!" Jen scolded loudly, bending down quickly, while I worked on regaining my balance, heart still pounding, before I even realized I had dropped my library books, much less that I'd dropped them into a puddle.

My stomach dropped as I saw her picking the dripping books up, felt almost dizzy at the sight. My books... The library was going to kill me, or at least never let me have a library card again.

"Jeez, way to go, Penni," Jen sighed, shaking them off. "You have to be careful with these - they aren't yours."

"I know!" I yelled at her, eyes watering. "It's not my fault!"

"Then whose fault is it?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "I certainly didn't drop them."

"Nadine ran into me!" I growled - what was wrong with her? Was she blind?! "She made me drop them, it wasn't my fault!"

Jen sighed, set the books on top of the car. "Penni..." she began, her tone calm, but in a forced way that told me she didn't believe me.

Of course she didn't. Nobody ever believed me. I glanced around, but Nadine was already gone, maybe back off to her house, which she had her own key to, unlike me, or maybe somewhere else, who knew? The important part was, she wasn't there, and, even if she was, I doubted she would admit what she had done.

"She did!" I insisted, fuming.

"Penni, you can't blame everyth..." Jen started, reaching out towards me. I jerked away from her.

"Why do you always take her side?!" I screamed at her, wishing she wasn't so much bigger than me, so I could kick her, too, without getting taken over her lap. So, instead, I shouted, "I hate you!" and ran away, before she could see my tears, blindly racing towards the barn, not caring if she was following me or not.

I had to pause at the barn door, too worn out from the long run to muster the strength I needed to pull it open. I dared a glance over my shoulder, wiping my eyes, though that only made them slightly less bleary, and didn't help me figure out if the little figures across the field were Jen and Caileigh, or, more important, if they were heading towards me.

In case it was them, I pulled myself together, inched the door open, slipped inside, not bothering to close it, for once, because I had a feeling I would be using it again in a few moments. I was absolutely right - at the top of the ladder, Nadine was waiting for me, looking not quite satisfied with herself, or as mean as usual. She still wasn't somebody I wanted to talk to at the moment, so I climbed back down.

I paused as I reached the bottom, knowing she would probably jump down and block my way out the front door before I could escape. Instead, I turned around, fiddled with the old chain on the gate to the sheep's old pen, heart racing, praying I could get it undone fast enough. From this side, it was a lot easier, especially since there was an old crate beside the gate I could climb up onto.

Finally, the chain slipped off, fell to the ground with a soft clang. I pulled open the gate, slipped inside, pushed it closed as Nadine landed on the pile of hay, much slower than normal. The little door opened, and closed again, easily, and I was back outside, free, for the time being. I stormed around the barn, destination uncertain.

"Where are you going?" Nadine called from behind me.

Since there was no answer, I kept quiet, wandered over to the tub, letting my tears fall down into it, watching the ripples slowly vanish, turning the surface smooth again, almost solid looking, like a mirror.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, closer now, quieter.

I shrugged listlessly. If that had been Jen and Caileigh approaching, they would be to the barn in a few minutes. I suppose I could have hidden in the hay upstairs, but even that would only delay them a little while. However, there weren't exactly many other places to go, other than back home, once they were inside. Yet, if I did that, they'd probably see me crossing the field from the window. I wanted more time than that would get me away from them, or at least away from Jen.

My eyes flashed up to the forest, for a split second, no more. It wasn't autumn yet, and I didn't even have Mrs. Ellenstofalix with me. If I went in alone, I wouldn't stand a chance.

That left me with only one option, really, and I didn't know for sure if it would work. I walked around the tub, not caring that Nadine was following behind me, although I wished she wouldn't. The ground was still very wet and muddy around the tub, and I had to be careful not to slip, and fall, and give Jen something else to yell at me about, seeing as how I was in a fairly new skirt, tie-dyed, and the pink bear T-shirt she'd gotten me with the shortalls.

I bit my bottom lip, tentatively reaching towards the surface, the water, if that was really what it was. This was the mirror world, after all, and things weren't always as they seemed.

"Penni, get out here!" I heard Jen shout, not yet at the barn, but still close enough to make me gasp, begin to spin around nervously.

I felt my foot slip, thought I felt a shove, and then I was falling forward, eyes shutting on their own, head and chest slipping into the tub, although my tummy caught on the edge, knocking the air out of my lungs, forcing me to look for more, which would have worked better, had I not been underwater. I gasped, tummy hurting more, since, now that my legs were kicking uselessly in the air, all my weight was resting on it.

I reached in front of me, scrabbling to find the bottom of the tub, to get myself back up. One hand, then the other, brushed against the slick porcelain, pushed upwards. For a moment, I thought it would work, and then I felt my hands slip, felt myself falling. I gasped again, even more water trying to make its way into my mouth, tried to open my eyes to see what was going on.

They would only open a tiny bit, or at least that was all they had time to open. I saw the bottom of the tub rushing towards my head, all too quickly, before I squeezed my eyes shut again, not sure what to brace myself for.

I opened my eyes again a few moments later, ever so slowly, and found myself sitting on top of what appeared to be a fireplace. I started to stand uncertainly, glancing behind me, at the large mirror, still rippling, on the wall there. I had been right after all!

The real world didn't really look all that different from the mirror world, except for this fireplace in the middle of what looked otherwise exactly like my living room. We might have had a bigger television here, too, although it was hard to tell, since here, it was on the floor, glass shattered and scattered in front of it. In fact, everything was broken here, it seemed, pictures lying next to walls they appeared to have been thrown against, coffee table and couches overturned.

I was still looking around, confused, trying to work out what was going on, when I heard the voice.

"Perfect timing," the moon smiled his evil smile, floating into the living room from what was likely the kitchen. "I'm so glad you could join me."

Chapter Thirty-One

I had just enough time to jump off of the mantle, luckily managing to land right beside the overturned couch, rather than on it, before the moon crashed into it, sending bricks and wood raining down on top of himself.

He was tough, however, and not still partly in shock, so he recovered almost as quickly as I did, giving me just enough time to stand up before spinning around, like a top. I wasn't ready for this. I shouldn't have had to be ready for this yet; I hadn't expected to be the one to take on the moon, not after finding out the truth about the two worlds. Even if I hadn't figured that out, I still never expected to be facing him this soon.

Obviously, he had other plans. My eyes darted around the room frantically, searching for something, anything, to defend myself with. Everything was broken, however, and even if it hadn't been, none of it really seemed like good weapon material, any more so than the stuff in my other living room. I could have thought much clearer, I was pretty sure, if I hadn't still had my stupid diaper on under my skirt, making me feel even less like I should be here, facing my greatest foe.

Then, at last, my brain got around to reminding me of my encounter with the monsters in the forest. Sure, this was the moon, not just some monster, but since they had most likely been sent by him, he might have the same weakness as them. And, if not, he should at least be able to be hurt by the sword - hopefully.

"Stay back!" I warned him, holding up my left hand like a shield, backing away, looking for any available rocks to get the sword out of. The moon's expression was puzzled for a moment, before his booming laugh started.

I allowed myself a careful glance towards him, trying to decipher just what was so funny, only to find that my hand wasn't glowing like it had been in the forest. It wasn't glowing in any other way, either. It was just a plan ol' useless hand, which I quickly dropped down to my side, blushing.

"That won't work here," he informed me, gliding closer. "You're in the world you got that power from, little girl. It only works on the other side."

I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, or he just didn't want me to get the sword, but it was obvious that, if it was there at all, the glow wasn't doing a lot of good. Before I could come up with a new plan, he was zooming straight towards me again, nearly too quickly for me to leap out of the way of this time. I didn't have enough time to get out of the way at all gracefully, having to all but throw myself sideways, landing on my side with an "Oof!"

Luckily, I had gotten far enough away that he hit the couch rather than me, sending it flying, where I watched it climbing into the air, before crashing into the ceiling and plummeting downwards.

And straight towards me.

I rolled out of the way, hearing it crash down right behind me, as well as a curse as, I assume, part of it also hit the moon. Seizing the opportunity, I sprang to my feet, dashing for the hallway that should lead to my room, where I hoped the other me had some kind of anti-moon weapon, or at least a lock, not that the moon would be stopped by a door for long.

Once I got out of the living room, however, it was like I was in a completely different house; not even a house, to be honest, more like a castle. The walls were made out of stone, cool as my arm brushed against them as I ran, and very, very tall. If I wasn't in such a hurry, I would have searched them for a loose stone, since, in the movies, those always led to a secret passage, or a hidden key, or something like that. At the very least, I would have known for sure if the glow worked or not. I suppose I could have tried it on the wall itself, but neither the stone Arthur used, nor the one in my dream, had been standing up like that, so I severely doubted it would work.

The first door I passed was standing open, half hanging off of its hinges, so that I could plainly see that it was our bathroom, though with a bigger bathtub, with big pink curtains with embroidered fish hanging behind it, apparently able to be drawn around all four side, should the need arise. The fishes' mouths were opening and closing, little embroidered bubbles floating up from their mouth, going up along the curtain until they reached the top and popped.

The mirror was broken, the glass filling the sink, which also had a crack in it, not quite as big as the one in the toilet, which had nearly been broken in two. My footstool, or, actually, a much fancier version of my footstool, with a padded top that might have been made out of silk, and a crown carved on the bottom part, was sitting on top of the toilet, also broken nearly in two, as if it had been thrown there, quite violently.

There wasn't anything useful there, nor would it make a good hiding place, so I kept going, unsure whether to be worried about the state my room would be in when I got there, or glad to know that I should be getting there soon, since I had already passed the bathroom. My footsteps sounded incredibly loud, as they echoed behind me, but slowing down wasn't worth it, and the moon had probably seen what direction I'd gone, anyway.

The hall seemed to go on forever, twisting this way and that, getting narrow - not too much for me, but hopefully enough to at least slow him down - then wide, sloping upwards for a while before coming suddenly to spiral staircase, almost without enough warning to keep me from crashing into the first step. I twisted my head around, found the hallway empty but for the sound of my own footsteps, still bouncing off of the walls lazily, let myself sink down onto one of the steps, shaking slightly and gasping for air.

Maybe I could stay here, I mused, fairly certain the moon would have a difficult time getting through the hall, until he got a lot less full. But there wasn't anything around for me to eat, and the moon would eventually make his way here. I hoped it would be the other me that greeted him when he did. I couldn't fight him... I was no hero.

And, once she was greeted on the other side by an angry Jen, and gotten diapered, I was sure she'd be more than ready to head back here and do her hero-ly duty. She was probably really smart, too, since I wasn't, so it shouldn't be any trouble for her to figure out how to get through. It had taken me seven years, after all - she could likely do it in a minute or two. She might even be back already; I wasn't sure how it worked, exactly, as I'd just assumed I would automatically be taken back to the mirror world when she reappeared. Maybe not, though.

Yet, the step wasn't incredibly comfy to sit on, even with my extra padding, nor did the walls around it have anything interesting about them. And the moon might surprise me and find his way through. So I stood up with a sad, tired sigh, and began to climb.

The staircase stretched upwards for what felt like forever before finally coming to an abrupt stop, in the center of a big, circular room, with a door at either side. The walls were a little better decorated than the hallway had been, with cloth, in a variety of soft colors, yellow, and pink, and the like, hung around jovially. Each of the doors had a crown, like the one on my footstool, carved into it, one a bit bigger than the other.

I was pretty sure the door with the bigger crown would belong to "me", but, curious, I went to the other door first, pushing it carefully, in case I was wrong, or if there were traps or something set up. Luckily, neither of those things were true, and the door, heavier than it looked, likely because it was also thicker, creaked open, revealing a huge, and rather adorable, nursery.

The walls were pink, and not made out of stone, like most of castle. I wasn't sure what they -were- made out of, except that it was the same as the walls back in my other house. Not wood, exactly, or I didn't think so at least, but something kind of like that. Along the top and bottom of the wall were a series of paintings of waddling ducks, marching back and forth. There were a few groups of them, and whenever they would run into each other, they'd all fall over, and have to pick themselves back up, feathers ruffled, before turning back the other way.

The crib in the center of the room looked very big, definitely large enough that I could have slept in it still, if I was strange enough to want to, but, since I hadn't seen a real baby's crib in a long time, I wasn't sure if they were normally that size or not. The outside of it was wrapped in dark purple cloth, and a mobile hung over it, a group of stars ever circling, chiming a song I'd never heard before softly. There was a changing table, too, plus a playpen and high chair, all of which seemed big to me, but, again, I didn't really know.

The carpet looked nice and fluffy, and soft, and yellow, so I gave a little jump, giggling as it bounced me up once I landed. I thought about checking out the dresser, which was probably about twice as tall as I was, with about a hundred drawers, or the door that almost certainly led to the closet, but I decided, instead, to look into the crib, to see what baby Jen looked like.

I sprang lightly over to her, giggling softly, a little annoyed to find the crib was too tall to look over. I could barely reach the top with my fingertips, and I knew that, even if I could pull myself up far enough, I probably couldn't hold myself there long enough to see anything. So I pulled back the cloth, still smiling from my walk over, yet preparing myself for an even bigger grin.

The crib was empty.

"Getting a good look at your new room?" a voice, not the moon, but almost as scary, asked from behind me. I spun around with a gasp, finding a normal aged big sister waiting there, smirking. "I'm sure you'll love it here."

"You're not s'posed to be that old!" I stammered, trying to back up before I remembered I was right in front of the crib. "-I'm- the big sister!"

"You were," she corrected, moving closer. "Until the moon saw how well things were going on the other side." Jen started to laugh, holding out her arms and spinning around. "Isn't it wonderful? Aren't I pretty?"

"No!" I exclaimed, stomping my foot, sending myself bouncing, although that time, I didn't giggle. "I'm the oldest, not you!"

"Sounds like I have a cranky baby sister, huh?" she cooed, scarily like the one in the mirror world as she bent down to pick me up. "Does she need a diaper change?"

I dove out of the path of her hands, searching for something to help me get away from her. My eyes happened to fall on the bottle of baby powder sitting on the bottom shelf of the changing table, grabbed it and pointed it at her, squeezing the sides as hard as I could. I only expected it to make her cough for a minute, to give me the chance to run around her, but, through the cloud of powder, I saw her form growing a little smaller.

"You little brat!" she growled, lunging at me. I squeezed the bottle again, catching her in another storm of powder, feeling very satisfied to watch her shrink more. "Stop it!" she demanded, voice getting higher. I didn't. I managed to push in the sides one more time, prepared to do it another, but she surprised me and came out of the cloud, swatting the bottle out of my hand, still shrinking. The baby powder bounced a couple times on the carpet before coming to rest, spilling its contents out onto the floor.

Before I could try to retrieve it, Jen's hand wrapped around my wrist, began to drag me across the room. "I'm still big enough to spank you!" she seethed, voice squeaking slightly, though her words were still true, unfortunately. However, she wasn't still strong enough to keep a hold of me when I yanked my arm free of her grasp, and shoved her. She didn't fall over, but she had to take a few steps to get back her balance, followed by a few involuntary bounces.

By that time, I was out of the room, and into the other, pleased that I was right about it, as well, in that it had a lock, which I quickly clicked into place before sinking down onto the floor, panting. It was too bad the Jen in the real world wasn't affected by baby powder that way, I mused, considering how much she liked to use. I giggled at the image of Jen changing me, then turning into a baby herself once she pulled out the bottle of baby powder. Too bad, indeed.

I heard a dull banging on the door, accompanied by Jen's squeaky voice demanding that I let her in. I ignored it, of course, as I got to my feet, and eventually it went away, leaving me in peace, though probably not for long. She would likely be going to see the moon, I thought, to see if he could make her older again. I wondered if he was still trying to make it through the hallway, or if he was satisfied to have chased me into the tower, and the nursery.

My room wasn't nearly as big as Jen's had been - I guess Jen was still the favorite, even here - but it was bigger than the one I had back home. The walls were light purple, the carpet the same color as the cloth around the crib. My bed was there, only now with a curtain that went around it, pure white, and pulled back at the moment. I had a desk still, too, but my sticker book wasn't sitting on top of it.

A sword was. I walked over to it in awe, running my hand over it carefully. It was cool to the touch, almost slippery, and black as night. The blade stretched the entire length of the desk and then some, which, considering the desk here was almost as big as me, was pretty impressive. I put my hands around the hilt, feeling a bit weird about just taking it, even if it did kind of belong to me; I reasoned that I would need something to fight with, should Jen return, or if the moon decided to come calling.

As it turned out, I needn't have worried about feeling bad for taking it. I couldn't lift the thing even an inch off of the desk, no matter how hard I tried. I would have felt more disappointed if I hadn't noticed the bow sitting next to the desk, just as pretty as the sword, only much smaller, and with carved stars running up it, and a rather large blade on the top. That, I did pick up. There were a few arrows behind it, but, since I didn't know how I was supposed to shoot them anyway, I left them there. Just the bow itself made me feel a lot safer.

I carried it with me as I crossed the room, over to the closet door. I passed the dresser, not quite as big as Jen's, but still good sized, considered for a moment opening it to see if I could find any normal panties to replace my diaper. That seemed weird, though, whether or not they were sort of mine, so I left the dresser alone, and pushed open the closet door instead.

I gasped loudly as lights began to turn themselves on, one after another, more than I could count, stretching back and then around a corner. Though, really, it was the clothes I was gasping at rather than them. There were what looked like a kazillion outfits here, everything from beautiful, elegant dresses, to jeans and T-shirts, all hung up prettily, waiting for someone to try them on. I could have spent a year in there, easily, and I almost wished I could.

I didn't get the chance, getting pulled out of my enthrallment by a loud banging on my door, way louder than Jen should have been able to make. The moon had gotten through after all.

I rushed out of the closet, eyes darting around my room for a route of escape, finding only my window. With a nervous swallow, I went over to my bed, pulling off the sheets before heading over and crawling up onto the window sill, pushing back the curtains, dark blue and covered in stars, twinkling merrily. The window was already open, a light breeze blowing in.

I heard a cracking noise from behind me, didn't glance back to confirm that it had been my door. Instead, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, making sure my fingers were tight around the bow, and the sheet, and jumped.

At first, the fall felt like it was going far too fast, and I worried that the sheet hadn't worked after all, but finally it filled with air, puffing up like a parachute, or so I assumed, and my descent slowed. I didn't dare to open my eyes until I felt my feet landing on something solid, after about a day or so of falling, at the very least.

My eyelids parted reluctantly, while I set the sheet down, tried to figure out where I was. It wasn't the ground, that was for sure. I stepped forward carefully, then took another, more confident step when I didn't fall. I took one more, starting to feel sure that I had gotten away, not noticing the large crack right under where my shoe was heading until it was too late.

The roof, since that's what it was, split open, and I was falling again, screaming. I heard the moon's angry roar somewhere above me, just barely louder than my shrieking, for a moment, before I landed on my back, eyes clamped shut, bracing myself for anything, except the soft bouncing that actually greeted me.

I opened my eyes, finding myself back in the living room, which now had a large hole in the ceiling, right above the couch the moon had run into earlier. Despite the rather intense desire to just lay there and take a nap that suddenly overcame me, I hopped to my feet and ran into the kitchen, where I could escape out of the back door before the moon got back down there.

The kitchen, other than being larger, the same as everything else, was mostly the same, other than a series of chutes along one of the walls, each with a fancily written label above it, the first, and biggest, of which read "Bread Crusts." I didn't have time to read the others, once I noticed the other big difference.

There was a dragon chained beside the stove, looking very unhappy, flames licking down from its nostrils, across its very scaly, green skin, as it glared at me.

"Mrs. Ellenstofalix?" I whispered, moving closer.

"It took you long enough," she complained, shaking her head, making the chain around it jingle. "The moon was about to make dragon stew out of me."

"I'm sorry!" I gasped, although I wasn't sure why I was surprised that the moon could be so cruel. "Are there keys around here somewhere?"

Mrs. Ellenstofalix rolled her eyes. "Do you really think he's that stupid?"

I shrugged, continued to search anyway, just in case, until I finally gave up. "Well, how am I supposed to get you free?"

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What is wrong with you today? Or are you always this dumb?" I blushed, staring down at my feet. I heard her sigh, felt the heat of her breath blowing across my face. "Why don't you try to break the chain?"

I started to ask, "With what?", before I remembered the bow in my hand. Well, I thought, it was worth a shot. I turned it around, so that the blade was facing downwards, and slammed it against the chain, which began to crack, then, with my third blow, crumble apart.

"C'mon," I urged Mrs. Ellenstofalix, praying we hadn't taken too long here already. "We hafta go!"

"Aren't you going to fight him?" her eyebrows, or, rather, the scales above her eyes, raised. "You -are- the hero, aren't you?"

I stared up at her, biting my bottom lip, and slowly shook my head. "Not me," I said quietly. "I'm nobody."

She bent her long neck down suspiciously, sniffing at me. I winced, half expecting her to bite me in half with her gigantic teeth, but, once she was finished, she just drew back. "Oh," she snorted. "You're -her-." I blushed again, only to have her ignore me. "Well, run away if you're going to. I'll hold him off for as long as I can."

"All right," I nodded, heading back towards the living room, and the mirror.

The dragon stepped in front of me. "You can't leave this way," she told me, slowly, talking down to me almost as badly as Jen did. "He's coming."

"But..." I protested. She shook her head, tilted it over towards the back door. I nodded again, figuring that there might be another way back out behind the barn here, like there was in the other world, and opened the door.

It led to another long hallway, even longer than the one in my house, I turned around to ask Mrs. Ellenstofalix what was going on, only to find the door slamming shut behind me, and the sound of a fierce battle starting on the other side.

I should have helped her, I knew. This Mrs. Ellenstofalix might have been tough, but I knew that not even she could take on the moon alone - that was the job of a hero. However, that wasn't me, and, if I went back in, I knew I wouldn't be able to do any good. So I ran, again, as fast as I could go, further and further down the hall, until it came to a large door. It was nearly as hard to open as the barn door, but, like that one, I only needed it open a little bit to squirm through, out of the hall, and into...

The ballroom.

I was too surprised to even gasp as I looked around at my surroundings, finding what appeared to be hundreds, if not more, of doors just like the one I'd just opened around the edge of the room, probably leading to more castles, just like mine. Except, less wrecked, most likely, since they would belong to people who helped the moon, rather than tried to fight him.

The ballroom itself was blessedly empty, other than the tables, which were apparently always there. The food from the last party the moon had thrown was still sitting there, but the plates and bowls were covered with cobwebs, surrounded by the sea of dust that had gathered on the tabletops. I tried not to look at it as I walked across the center of the floor, tummy squirming uncomfortably, starting to feel sick.

Even if I couldn't fight the moon, there was still one thing I could do, I decided. And, if it kept me hidden, once the moon made his way down the hall, it was all the better. I knew exactly which table to go to - it was the one that still had a series of black straps hanging off of the edge, looking cleanly slice in two, hopefully by the other me, and not Dr. Irvine once he was done with his surgery.

"Penni?" the stars called, sounding weaker than I remembered, further away.

"I'm gonna save you," I assured them, glancing critically at the bars in front of me. I remembered getting stuck on them last time because of my diaper, and I couldn't afford that mistake again. "Just hold on!" The blade on the bow tapped against the metal of the bars, making a light clinking sound, much less impressive than I'd been expecting. "Well, phooey," I pouted.

"Try again," the stars called up to me, their voice twinkling. "You can do it!"

"No, I can't," I replied, setting the bow down. "I can't do it. I'm not the hero."

"Yes, you are," they tried to tell me. "You're just as much of a hero as she is."

I straightened up quickly, almost hitting my head on the bottom of the table. "You know I'm not her?!"

"Of course," they laughed. "We've always known."

"Then you know I can't do it," I sighed, sinking back down again, defeated, tired. "I'm not strong, like she is, or smart, or anything. I'm not a hero."

There was a long silence, as my eyes began to close slowly, and I realized I was crying. Then, one voice rose up from the pit, soft, insistent. "You're my hero."

My eyes didn't seem to want to open again, but I forced them to, blinking down into the darkness. "What?"

"You're my hero," it repeated, sounding further away, only to be replaced by another, this one closer, saying, "You're my hero, too."

"But... I've never done anything," I sat up sluggishly, bewildered. "I'm just... me."

"That's enough," they twinkled.

I picked up the bow again, fingers loose around it, still uncertain. "I don't understand..." I protested, but, somewhere, deep down, I realized that I didn't have to. I lifted the bow, slammed it down against the bar.

There was a much louder sound this time, a ringing that seemed to fill the whole ballroom, and I saw a crack begin to race around the bar, growing larger and larger, spreading out like a spider web.

All of the sudden, I could see it much cleared, as the table flew out from over me, crashing into one behind it, sending food and broken dishes clattering to the floor. I stood up and spun around, the movement making me feel very dizzy, but not enough to keep me from seeing the moon waiting, eyes almost red with anger.

"You're not getting away from me this time," he growled.

Then he rushed forward, before I had the chance to clear my head, to consider getting out of the way. He slammed into me, throwing me backwards, the bow flying out of my hands, clattering under another table uselessly. I saw a clump of spinach crawl over towards it, another moving slowly towards me as I sat there, gasping, head spinning, my lungs and chest burning.

Was this the end? I wondered idly, watching as the moon approached, grinning triumphantly. I had screwed everything up. I never should have come here... It wasn't my world, not anymore. Why was I always so dumb?

Somewhere, through the fuzziness that had invaded my mind, something from Peter Pan came to me, bringing a soft smile to my lips. The moon's own expression grew more perplexed, until finally, I let him in on it, my voice as quiet and far away as the stars' had been.

"To die," I coughed, a little surprised to find water coming out of my mouth as I did so, but not concerned enough to figure out where it had come from, "would be an awfully big adventure."

Elizabeth

Chapter Thirty-Two

I, of course, never got the full story of what happened in the mirror world while I was gone. I guess it would have helped if I'd asked Jen about it, but she doesn't like talking about that day very much. I do, however, have a pretty good idea of the basic shape of it, if nothing more.

Jen came charging across the field, fire in her eyes, having had enough time to fully digest my words, and get angry over them. Caileigh was there, too, just behind her friend, since she had never been quite as fast as her, begging her to calm down.

Jen calmed down for nobody, not when she was on one of her tirades, certainly not when she lost her audience in the middle of one. So she just glared back at Caileigh and ignored her, yanking open the barn door easily. "Penni, get your little butt down here!"

"Jen, you're going to scare her half to death," Caileigh admonished, following my sister into the barn. "She's already in a bad mood, I really don't think..."

"Look, why don't you let me handle it?" she snapped back, halfway up the ladder already. "I think I know more about how to handle my sister than you do."

Caileigh crossed her arms, glaring up at Jen, beginning to lose her patience. "You know, if anyone should be angry here, it should be me."

Jen paused, hand on the next rung, rolled her eyes. "Are you saying you're not? Because you sure could have fooled me a minute ago."

"I think you have anger covered for the both of us now," Caileigh said coldly.

I suppose they would have gone on bickering like that, if it hadn't been for the sudden noise out back that made them freeze, turn, then stare at each other, puzzled for a few moments, before jumping off of the ladder - or not, depending on who it was - and running around behind the barn.

The sound was definitely not Nadine, who had run off, probably after Jen and Caileigh went into the barn, doing her very best to conceal her evily satisfied giggles as she crossed the field. She would have skipped, I'm sure, if she wasn't trying to stay low.

Caileigh, who had the advantage of already being on the ground, rounded the corner first, eyes going wide at the sight before her, jaw dropping. "Oh my God," she breathed, all that she had the breath for.

Jen's reaction was just about the same when she followed a second later, the scene enough to quench her rage. "Penni?" she whispered, hand twitching at her side, unsure whether or not to rise to her mouth.

"Where... am I?" Penni asked, stepping out of the tub uncertainly, her long, elegant blue dress soaked, but, since it was already pretty torn up, she didn't seem too concerned about that. She was still a little shaky from her fight with the moon, after being taken by surprise, and without her weapons, and now being suddenly transported to some strange place.

"Penni, what in the world happened to you?" Jen stepped forward tentatively, reaching her hand out to brush against the torn fabric, Penni drawing away from her touch, as she suddenly remembered where she had seen her before - at the last ball, the one she'd been forced to escape from after I let myself get captured, then left her to fix the mess, and escape, back up to her tower, where she had unknowingly said goodnight to her again-baby sister before flopping down into bed, exhausted. "Where did you get this?"

"Get away from me!" Penni growled, moving backwards, hands balling up into fists.

"Jen, I don't..." Caileigh began, moving up behind her friend, only to be waved silent.

"We're not going to hurt you," Jen assured her, holding up her hands to show that they were empty. "Just tell us what happened, sweetie."

Penni circled around them, ignoring the mud squishing up onto her pretty shoes. "Where are your other friends?" she sneered. "Or do you really think you can take me on with just her?" She nodded towards Caileigh, eyes narrowing even more as she recognized her at last. The Caileigh she knew must have been pretty scary, because that was enough to make her back off a little, although she kept well away from the two of them. "Why did you bring me here?"

Jen's eyebrows furrowed. "Penni, we didn't... You came here yourself, babe. Don't you remember? You yelled at me, and then..."

Caileigh put her hand on Jen's arm, quieting her stammering voice as she leaned in closer, voice quiet, eyes fixed on the little girl in front of them. "Jen, that isn't Penni."

Jen snorted, shook her head. "Of course it is! It looks..." But she couldn't bring herself to say "Exactly like her," because it simply wasn't true. This Penni was taller, by a few inches, maybe just shy of the four foot mark, if she wasn't right at it. "Scrawny" was also a word that couldn't quite be applied to her, although "thin" was still well within reason. Her hair was a little shorter as well, and a darker red, almost the color of blood, and her eyes were hazel, instead of green.

"That is my name," she informed them, rolling her eyes, even if it was reassuring in a strange way to see that grown-ups had the same disrespect for her here as at home. "I'm Penni." By then, she was already suspecting that these weren't the same people she thought they were, letting herself relax a bit.

Jen, on the other hand, was getting much less relaxed, her anger starting to resurface quickly. "What did you do with her?" she demanded, rushing forward and grabbing Penni's arms, shaking her. "Give me back my sister!"

Penni broke loose from her grip easily, knocking her off balance in the process, sending her down into the mud on her knees. "I don't know anything about your sister," she said simply, now sure that this was a different person than she had met at the ball. Her eyes moved to the tub, the water still rippling slightly from her entrance. "But I think I know where she is..."

And with one more look around, she forced herself to ignore the ache in her bones, the cuts on her body, the tiredness in her mind, and, once the water had calmed down again, leapt back into the tub, without a second thought. Because, even if I wasn't, she was a hero, and that was what heroes did - they helped people, no matter what. Whether or not she realized just who I was, I don't know; I don't even know if they have Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in the real world. But she knew there was somebody else in danger instead of her, and she knew that she could save them.

"Penni!" Jen screamed, scrambling to her feet and pulling me out of the tub, once my body had reappeared, replacing the other Penni. She laid me out on the ground, kneeling down beside me, head turning to shout, "Go and call mom!" to Caileigh, who nodded, dumbfounded, for a moment before snapping out of the shock at seeing me lying there like that, looking even smaller than ever, after encountering the other me, and following her friend's orders.

She paused at the corner of the barn, brain finally catching up to her. "Jen, what am I supposed to tell her?"

"I don't know!" Jen closed her eyes, heart thumping so loud I could almost hear it. "Just... Keep her on the line."

"Jen..." Caileigh started, her eyes fixed on me.

"I know!" Jen said quietly, her hands hovering over my still chest. "Go!" Caileigh nodded and ran, faster than I would likely ever see her move.

Jen's hands froze as her eyes closed again, murmuring a silent prayer, hoping she could remember what to do. Then her hands pushed down, down.

"Breathe, damn it!" she screamed, tears flowing from her eyes. "Breathe!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mommy was already pulling into the driveway by the time Caileigh got back to her house, having gotten off of work a bit early that day, like she'd told Jen she might at breakfast. Jen's car was still sitting there, doors standing open, diaper bag on the back seat, my wet library books resting on the roof.

Mommy, however, wasn't given any time to wonder about these things, since she was immediately greeted by a panting Caileigh. "Barn... Penni... Bathtub," she gasped, leaning up against the side of mommy's car. Mommy was out of the car in an instant, almost before she turned the engine off.

"Caileigh, what's going on?" she demanded, but all Caileigh could do was shake her head, point at the barn. Mommy, not exactly happy with the answer, nodded anyway, dashed away across the back yards, and to the field.

She was met halfway across by Jen, walking slowly down the path, my body gently cradled in her arms. Mommy froze as she saw me, her eyes moving up to Jen's, frightened. Jen met her gaze, her expression unreadable, and, for a long moment, they stared at each other. Finally, mommy reached out a trembling hand, brushing it across my forehead, pushing my wet hair out of my face, away from the large bump above my right eye.

"Hi, mommy," I smiled weakly, holding out my arms towards her, almost sure I could see tears in her eyes before she took me out of Jen's arms, pulling me into a tight embrace, kissing my forehead over and over, stopping only for a moment as her hand settled onto my bottom, meeting a strange, squishy feeling there.

She carried me back home, Jen following behind, her mouth opening and closing, as if trying to find something to say, and consistently coming up empty. She wandered over to the car to retrieve our stuff while mommy unlocked the back door, setting me down on one of the kitchen chairs, getting out a baggie and filling it with ice, wrapping it in a wash cloth.

"That's cold," I complained when she pressed it to my forehead, guiding one of my hands up to keep it in place.

"That's the point," she smiled, eyes darting towards the front door, which we both heard open, giving a little nod when she saw what Jen was carrying. "Penni," she began, pulling another chair out from the table and sitting down in front of me, "is your head feeling all right?"

"I guess," I shrugged. It had been hurting some before, but now it was hard to tell through the cold.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked, lifting her hand with two fingers outstretched. I copied her with the hand that wasn't freezing off, and she nodded, looking relieved. "I don't suppose I need to ask if you want to go to the hospital." I shook my head. She lifted my chin with her fingers, getting a good look at my head, then moving her sight downwards, watching me breathe, I guess. Finally, she nodded. "Well, you seem all right for now, but if anything comes up, we're going straight to the hospital, and I don't want to hear any complaints."

"I'm fine," I assured her, with a little wince.

"Penni," mommy leaned forward in her chair, staring at me seriously, so that I wondered if she was going to take me to Dr. Irvine right away anyway, whether I liked it or not. "Are you wearing a diaper?"

I gasped, looked away, blushing.

"That's what I thought," she sighed. "How come, sweetie? If you haven't been feeling well, you really should have told me."

My blush deepened, but I was resolved not to cry. Mommy knew, and I couldn't lie to her, not now. Maybe she'd be merciful, after my ordeal. "I'm sorry, mommy," I sniffled.

"It's okay," she soothed, reaching forward to rub my back. "Maybe you'd better go get changed, and we can talk about this later." I nodded with another sniffle, hopping down to the floor and waddling off to the bathroom to grab my towel, then my room in my soaked diaper, passing Jen on the way, just having enough time to hear mommy ask her, "What do you know about Penni wearing diapers?" before I closed my door.

I set the ice down on my bed as I tromped over to my dresser, grabbing the first T-shirt and shorts I could find, just so I could get out of my wet things. I almost forgot to get my panties out, hoping this wasn't going to be the last time I got to wear them, now that Jen was surely telling mommy the whole story.

Luckily for me, I had seen Jen using the genie, which had been hurriedly tucked into the corner of my closet, enough times that I could figure it out, since otherwise I don't know that I would have. I realized, a bit late, that maybe I should have changed in the bathroom, since my clothes were wet, and muddy, and probably not good for me to be putting down on my carpet, even if I did my best to keep just the wet side down, while I dried myself off and got dressed again.

Mommy and Jen had moved to the living room by the time I got out, slunk down to the basement real quick before going back to my room to get the ice, so I could pretend I had been keeping it on my head. I couldn't quite make out most of what they were saying, other than mommy's rather loud "You kept your sister in diapers all summer?!", as I climbed back up the basement stairs, and then Jen's quieter, more timid, "Well, not -all- summer," when I passed by the living room.

I considered staying in my room while they talked, my tummy feeling anxious. Still, if they were going to decide the fate of my underwear, I wanted to be there, in case something very odd happened, and something I had to say about it could make a difference.

When I got to the living room, climbing up onto the couch, mommy was sort of half laughing, in a way that I wasn't sure I was completely comfortable with. "You want me to believe -Caileigh- would actually have something to do with... this?" She glanced over at me, sliding up next to her, and for a moment, looked like she was going to tell me to go back to my room, before she put her arm around me, pulled me close, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.

Jen shifted uncomfortably in the chair, eyes nervous. "She would if she thought it was what Penni wanted," she said quietly.

"Oh, really?" mommy scoffed, shaking her head. "Penni, did you want to wear diapers?" Then, realizing how her voice had sounded, she softened it, and her expression. "Did you, sweetie? You can tell me if you did, I promise I won't get mad."

I wasn't sure if I could believe that or not, since she already seemed pretty mad. Not that it mattered too much, as my answer was a definite, "No," with the other answer only buzzing through my mind for a split second before getting washed away with all my bad memories from the past few weeks.

Neither Jen nor mommy appeared surprised by the answer, but I could see Jen starting to melt under mommy's glare, affixed on her once more. Earlier that day, I would have thought she deserved it. I might have even thought that a little still, yet I couldn't just sit there, when I could help one of the people who had helped save me.

"Mommy," I spoke up softly, loud enough to bring both of their attentions to me, and I started to squirm uncertainly.

"What is it, sweetheart?" mommy asked after a minute, and I removed my teeth from around my bottom lip, gathered my resolve, and moved ahead.

"It wasn't Jen's fault, mommy," I admitted, fighting back a sniffle. I wasn't going to let myself cry, not even if I got sentenced back to diapers forever. I was going to try to keep that from happened of course, but even if I failed, I wouldn't cry. "She was trying to help me."

Mommy's eyebrow raised, her gaze shifting momentarily to her older daughter. "Was she now?"

I nodded haltingly. "She... I..." I was blushed so hard, I thought I would melt the ice on my forehead, but I kept going. "I had an accident a while ago, an' I wet my pajamas." That time, I couldn't keep the sniffle down as I started to bed. "I'm sorry, mommy, I am, please, please don't make me wear diapers all the time!"

"I wouldn't do that, Penni," she assured me, her eyes firmly fixed on Jen. "Accidents happen, sweetie." She bent down to kiss the top of my head, then straightened up. "Jen, go to your room."

"Look, I'm sorry," Jen pleaded. "I know it was wrong, but... I just saved her life! Why are you treating me like a criminal?"

Mommy's voice wavered as she spoke, her anger seeming to have vanished. "I know you did, honey. I just... I can't deal with this right now, okay? Please, just go to your room."

Jen nodded stiffly and left me and mommy alone. I cuddled up closer to mommy's side, resting my head against her, hardly realizing I had fallen asleep until I woke up in my bed, blinking blearily and finding Caileigh standing above me, handing resting on the door she had just knocked lightly on.

"Are you asleep?" she whispered. I shook my head and sat up, wincing as the pain in my forehead returned. The sun was still up outside, so Caileigh didn't turn my light on, just walked through the doorway, sat on the foot of the bed. "How are you feeling, cutie?"

I shrugged. "My head hurts," I told her, "but I guess I'm okay." I started to glance around nervously. "Did you bring Nadine?"

Caileigh drew back a bit at the question. "Penni..."

"It's all right if she's here," I said quickly, even though I wasn't completely sure about that. "I guess it was probably an accident..."

Caileigh closed her eyes, hiding the growing, not-good light behind them. "Penni, don't do this now, please."

I crossed my arms, starting to feel like she had punched me in the stomach, where I already had a bruise forming, from the edge of the tub. "It's not my fault!" I sulked. "Why do you always get mad at me for stuff she does?"

"Penni, just stop it!" She moved up closer to me more quickly than I expecting; I scooted back, starting to get scared. "I came to see how you were, not listen to this..." She stopped herself, though I could see her chest moving up and down with her buried words. "You know what? I'm just gonna go."

"Caileigh, I'm sorry!" I apologized, reaching out to grab her hand. "Please don't be mad at me!"

She paused, settling back down on the bed. "Then stop it, Penni. Just stop."

"But I'm not doing anything!" I protested, feeling more confused with every minute. "I just wanna know how much trouble Nadi..."

"For God's sake, Penni, stop it!" Caileigh yelled, grabbing my arms and shaking me. "Don't do this to me, not today!"

I stared up at her, frightened, a way I had never looked at her before. And then she was gone, pulled off of me by Jen. "What the hell is the matter with you?" she hissed, dragging her friend out into the hallway.

"Just let me go!" Caileigh demanded, disgusted. "Let go, Jen!"

"Not until you tell me what you think you were doing to my sister," Jen growled. "What are you thinking? She almost died today!"

"Maybe now you know how I feel," her friend said quietly, coldly, "Every time she brings her up."

Jen's voice got quieter as well. "Caileigh, she's just a kid..."

"And Nadine never got to be," she growled. "And I get to remember that whenever your little sister decides she needs someone to blame everything on."

"She doesn't know any better," Jen pleaded. "Cai, calm down, please."

"Well, maybe she should learn," Caileigh broke away, coming back inside my room, where I was huddled against the wall, staring, frightened, at the doorway. "Find your own damn imaginary friend, and leave my baby sister out of it!"

And with that, she stormed off, pushing past my confused parents and ignoring their questions, slamming the door behind her.

The moon didn't show up that night. I'm not sure if I just fell asleep again too early after picking listlessly at my supper, if it was his normal monthly disappearance, or if the other me had managed to win, once I'd gotten out of the fight. If anyone could do it, I was certain it was her. It definitely wasn't me.

“She's just worried about you,” Jen tried to tell me when she came in to give me my goodnight kiss. “You'll see, she isn't really mad at you. She was just scared that she was going to lose you, too. And... Well...”

I didn't think that was it at all, but I shrugged anyway, since there wasn't a whole lot else to do. Jen gave me another kiss instead of finishing her sentence.

“I love you, baby,” she whispered.

And, for once, I knew it was true.

Chapter Thirty-Three

And life went on, as it was prone to do.

The days dragged on, until I realized just how far into the summer it had gotten already, at which point they began to zoom by somehow, despite being just as empty and boring as the ones before. Except for that day, which decided to skip back to prolonging itself as long as possible, as I sat on the swings and stared down at the ground below, down past my pink painted toenails, waiting.

I hadn't seen Nadine, since the day I'd made my journey to the real world. I had only seen Caileigh briefly, and, remembering how she had reacted back on that day, I knew better than to ask her about it. Truth be told, I was a little scared to talk to her at all, and she didn't appear too eager to speak to me, either.

Maybe she had been right. I don't know for sure. Sometimes - well, most of the time - it was hard to tell. She was smarter than me, though, so I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to take her word for it.

I shook my head, not wanting to dwell on that, not today. Sure, I might have made Caileigh hate me forever, but, if that was the case, I was fine with pretending it had never happened, at least for the time being. I didn't know how to fix it, or even if it could be fixed.

This wasn't the day to worry about things I had screwed up; if it was, I would have had much more to do, other than sitting out on the swing. I'd tried to get mommy to let me do more, but she just shooed me out of the kitchen.

"You can't help make your own birthday cake," she told me, shaking her head. "Maybe when Jen's birthday comes around, you can help with that, okay?"

But I didn't expect that to happen, either, or at least it never had before. Although now that I was going to be eight, she might realize I was old enough to do more than lick the bowl. Not that I had any problems with that, of course - I was just sure there was more I could do, if she would let me.

My cake was going to be chocolate, because I wanted strawberry ice cream, and Jen said that getting the same flavor for both was boring. I guess she was right, even though it wouldn't have bothered me too much. Chocolate cake was still good, especially with fudge icing, and the smell that had been wafting through the kitchen the last time I went in to use the bathroom told me I had made the right choice in listening to her, at least this time.

I'd managed to sneak a peak into the living room while I was inside as well, catching a glimpse of a few balloons that seemed to have magically appeared from out of nowhere - or the trunk of mommy's car after I went to bed the night before, as Jen told me later - and my sister was now arranging around what looked like a nice sized pile of presents. I didn't get a very good look at either, however, before getting chased back outside.

It felt weird, sitting out there, knowing everyone else was working on something for you, something you hadn't really done anything to deserve. It felt a little bad, to be honest, deep down in my tummy, making - however indirectly, since I hadn't actually asked them to - mommy and Jen do all this. At least daddy wasn't slaving away because of me. He was just at work, and he was going to try to get off early, he'd assured me at breakfast.

I glanced around idly, lifting my head, a little smile crossing my face when I saw Jen's car, sitting next to the house.

"For starters," mommy had said, what felt like either forever, or just a few days, ago, depending on how boring a day I had been having before thinking about it, "You are only allowed to drive your car to take Penni places she wants to go, and, in the fall, to school."

It had been the day after my trip, which mommy had taken off, so she could "watch me", whatever that meant. I didn't really do anything all that entertaining, other than giggle as she pronounced her sentence on Jen.

"That's all I ever do anyway," Jen had grumbled, although I could tell she was somewhat relieved that she hadn't gotten anything worse.

"Give me your keys," mommy demanded, holding out her hand. Jen rolled her eyes and walked off to her room to get them. Once she returned, mommy removed the keyring that had Jen's car keys, handing them to me. "Now, be careful with those," she warned. "Make sure not to lose them, okay?"

I nodded, still giggling as I stared at my new prize, never expecting my first keys to go to a car.

"Are we done?" Jen asked, sinking down onto the couch and glaring at me, like it was my fault she was getting in trouble.

"That," mommy smiled, "is up to Penni."

I glanced up in surprise, the allure of the keys forgotten. "Me?" I squeaked.

Mommy nodded. "Do you think Jen needs more than that? It -was- you she was diapering all this time, after all."

For a moment or two, evil images began to flood into my mind, thoughts of Jen doing all my homework for me, and all my chores - not that she hadn't been doing most of them lately anyway. My nose wrinkled at the memory of all the messy diapers I'd endured for her, all the places she'd taken me and treated me like a baby. The incident with Breadstick Girl and Lilly was still fresh on my mind, of course, and I certainly didn't forget the spanking at the mall, squirming in my seat with the recollection.

I hadn't even told mommy about that, I realized, and I doubted Jen had, either. While it wasn't quite the same as everything else she'd done, I suspected mommy wouldn't approve of it nearly as much as Jen had told me she would. It might even be enough to convince mommy to give her a taste of her own medicine - or to let daddy give it to her, once he got home, since he spanked a lot harder.

This was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I told myself. You could probably get mommy to do -anything- to Jen, and Jen couldn't even get mad at you for it! At least, not while mommy was around, and then I could always tattle on her. I could get revenge on her for being such a rotten big sister, show her just how much of a baby I was -not-.

But then, I remembered the day before. My eyes opening as I coughed, water spilling out of my mouth, half expecting to find the moon hovering over me, waiting for me to awaken so he could finish me off. Her, kneeling over me, tears spilling out of her eyes as she saw mine come open at last, harder than I had ever seen her cry before, bending down to fold me up into her arms, covering the top of my head with kisses, not caring if my hair was all wet, and probably muddy.

"No," I shook my head, nobody more surprised than me to hear the quiet word coming from my mouth, although the other two people in the room were plenty shocked as well.

"Are you sure?" mommy leaned forward in the chair, putting her hand on my arm. "You don't have to say that, you know. You don't have to let her off that easily."

"I know," I blushed at the feeling of their eyes on me, glancing down awkwardly as I failed to come up with anything to follow those words with.

After a minute, mommy shrugged and stood up, kissing the top of my head, looking over it to Jen, still too shocked to say anything, on the other side of the couch. "You got off easy," she told her. "But if I hear about this happening again, I'm not going to leave your fate up to Penni."

Jen must have believed her, because she didn't even mention the word "diaper" for the rest of the summer. Of course, as big sisters do, she found other ways to get on my nerves, and make me wish I had given a different answer, but most of it wasn't anything I could go to mommy about. I doubted she would be on my side about getting upset over Jen snatching her car keys away from me when I refused to give them to her so she could take me to my check-up with Dr. Irvine.

She had taken the keys away from me so I could go to my swimming lessons as well, at least for the first one. She told me we didn't have to stay, if it was too much for me, but, surprisingly, it hadn't been that bad. Most of the other kids were a year or two younger than me, which was weird, and, I assume, a result of Jen never having told Mike just how old I really was, but I decided not to bring that up, ever, since they were also, as a whole, better at swimming.

Jen hadn't been nearly as excited about getting me to go after the first lesson, however, although she would still grab the keys when I got reluctant. Even though I was having fun, I was always a bit worried that the other students would find out how old I really was, or that something would happen and I'd end up humiliating myself or drowning again.

Jen, on the other hand, stopped watching me from the edge of the pool after the first time, and, eventually, let me go in all by myself, waiting for me in the car. I had a feeling that had something to do with our other teacher, Anne, or maybe with the fact that she spent most of her time before and after the lessons talking to Mike. She was nice, though, and told me that she liked my swimsuit, so I liked her well enough.

We still had a few more lessons left, but they had been moved to the weekends now, since some of the schools around had started already. I felt kind of sorry for the kids who didn't go to my school - we still had a couple weeks left. Mommy kept bugging me and Jen to go shopping for school stuff, even though I told her that we had plenty of time. I don't think she believed me, but -I- knew it was true, anyway.

I suppose it was only fair to let mommy bug me, since I kept asking her about something else. Ever since my adventure, I had been enthralled by the memory of the other Penni's bow. I knew that the ones on this side wouldn't be nearly as cool, or as useful, as hers was, yet I still wanted to know how to use them.

"We'll see, sweetie," mommy told me hesitantly, every single time. "They're not toys, you know. You could get hurt."

I rolled my eyes just thinking about it, staring up at the clear blue sky above me. If I had any guts at all, I'd have refused to go school stuff shopping until she let me have archery lessons. I didn't, of course, so I left the threat unspoken, although in my mind, that was the real reason we hadn't done it yet.

That, or so I could pretend third grade wasn't coming up, rushing at me faster every day. I tried not to dwell on the subject too long, but it was getting hard to avoid now, no matter how hard I tried to pretend otherwise. It made my tummy knot up every time I thought of it. I mean, sure, I'd been glad to find out I hadn't failed second grade, as I'd feared, and Nadine had assured me I had, but that didn't mean I was smart enough to make it through third grade.

I almost wished I was turning seven again, somehow, that mommy would run out of candles - even though she'd had plenty for daddy's last birthday, and he had a bunch more than me - and I could start the year over. I could go back to second grade, where I would at least have a better idea what the teachers were talking about. I wouldn't have to worry about the stupid orthodontist appointment mommy had made for me, just a few days before school started. I could fix everything I had messed up so badly.

Then I felt the big, strong hands on my back, pushing me forward, further up into the air. "There's my birthday princess," the voice attached to them smiled. "Why the grumpy face, today of all days?"

So I giggled and shook my head, letting the air blow against my face, fan out my hair behind me. "There's no grumpy face here," I said, almost able to believe it myself, at least until he stopped pushing, and the swing came to a slow stop.

"I think your mother and sister are waiting for the guest of honor," he confided in me, holding out his hand as he stepped in front of the swing. "Are you too big to hold your daddy's hand anymore?" he asked, after what I suppose was a minute or two of silence, even though I didn't notice it.

"Of course not," I shook my head, smiling, reaching out to take his hand and let myself be guided to the back door, pretending to be surprised when mommy and Jen yelled "Happy birthday!" at me, and one of them put a paper crown on my head. I blushed as daddy picked up his camera from the counter and got a picture of me, one of what I was sure would be hundreds and hundreds, judging from past years.

"So, what do you want to do first?" Mommy sounded like she was more excited than I was. "Do you want presents, or cake?" She paused thoughtfully, tapping her finger on her lips. "Though I guess you might just want to go ahead and eat supper first instead."

"Nope," I shook my head with a grin, my worries having melted away, long forgotten, for the time being, at any rate. "Let's open presents!"

So we went into the living room, which was littered with balloons saying "Happy Birthday!" or, more specifically, "Happy 8th Birthday!" or, every once in a while, didn't say anything, but were pretty anyway. I felt another twinge of guilt when I saw them, knowing how much time Jen must have spent getting them arranged all over the room like she had, and how long it must have taken mommy to pick them out, and buy them.

"If you're not going to let us take you out to eat, the least you can do is let us decorate for you," mommy's voice echoed from a few days earlier.

I guess if it was what they wanted, it wasn't that bad, I reasoned, walking over to the couch, where I knew I was supposed to sit, since the coffee table had been pulled closer to it, and covered in presents and envelopes. I had seen most of the envelopes already, since they'd been coming in the mail for the past week or so, and Jen would always take them away, even though they were addressed to me. It hardly seemed fair, but mommy obviously thought otherwise, since Jen would give them to her once she got home from work.

I opened those first, knowing it would keep daddy from taking too many pictures, since he took most of those for presents. Most of the cards were cute, and kind of funny, and some even had money, but it was hard to get too excited about them, when I wasn't entirely sure who most of the people sending them were. Mommy told me I had met them at the family reunion; she was probably right, but that had been last year, and there were so many people there, I didn't really remember any of them individually.

I was almost ready to move on to the presents, taking my time unsealing the last couple envelopes to brace myself for the barrage of camera flashes sure to come my way, when I heard a knock on the door.

"I got it," Jen assured everyone, getting up from her side of the couch, returning with a red-faced best friend.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" Caileigh apologized, dropping a pair of presents onto the table in front of me, then freezing as she saw me sitting there.

My eyes tried to go downwards, but I forced them to gaze up at her, feeling as awkward as she looked. Her eyes moved downwards, too, meeting with mine for a split second before I saw her smile bashfully.

"Happy birthday, cutie," she said, moving around the table to give me a hug. I smiled, too, just as shy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear when she tried to pull away.

Her arms tightened once again, even more so than before. "I'm sorry, too, sweetie. I could never stay mad at you for long."

If I hadn't been so happy to hear that, I would have protested - it had certainly felt like a long time. But now, at least, it was over, a lot easier than I had expected it to be. I guess maybe some things weren't so hard to fix after all. Or perhaps Jen had been right. Maybe she had just been worried.

Either way, I felt a lot better once she got there, barely even minding the near constant clicking from daddy once I reached for my presents, pulling out a random one that ended up being from mommy and daddy. It was big, and flat, and probably a box, which meant there could be just about anything inside, so I wasn't sure just what to expect.

Even so, I was still shocked at just what I found inside. I glanced up at mommy, eyes wide, confused. "But..." I began.

Mommy smiled. "I think half a year is really enough of a punishment, don't you?"

I nodded, confusion slowly melting away and revealing the happiness underneath as I pulled my new Girl Scout uniform out of the box, running my hand over the fabric, just to make sure it was real. Maybe Dr. Veitch had talked to mommy after all.

There was a dress in the presents, too, a pretty light blue one with a ribbon around the waist, and a pair of pink jeans, both of which - along with my uniform - I knew I was going to have to try on once I was done opening everything else, so that mommy could make sure they fit right, and so daddy could take even more pictures. But I didn't mind all that much, I realized.

Once I had gotten through those, I decided I couldn't wait any longer, and picked up the box that the man in the big truck had brought back the day before, and Jen had, like my cards, hidden away, although not before I could see that it was from Gramma and Grampa. They'd called me earlier in the day, to apologize for not being able to come in person, and to wish me a happy birthday.

The top of the box was all taped shut, so that mommy had to go into the kitchen for a knife to cut it open. That wasn't even enough to get to my presents, however, because they were surrounded by those little packing peanuts, with their card on top. I opened the card first, giggling at it for a few seconds before my curiosity got the better of me again, and I carefully lifted the first present out of the box, doing my best to keep the peanuts inside, although a few managed to escape onto the rug.

Gramma always had the best wrapping paper, and this was no exception, all silver and shiny, with balloons and streamers. It was a lot easier to get the tape off of it without ripping it than from most of the other wrapping paper, so it didn't take me nearly as long to get it open, and find, inside, my own copy of The Sword in the Stone video.

I smiled happily as I held it up, even though I knew it meant I would have to find something new to rent next time we went to Blockbuster. The second present from them was even better - a little makeup kit, with its own carrying box thing. I saw mommy roll her eyes as she saw it, thinking I wasn't watching. Sure, she probably wouldn't let me wear most of it in public, but at least I could get Jen to show me what most of the stuff was, for when she finally did. And there were a lot of pretty fingernail polish colors, too.

Jen's present was a lot heavier than the rest of them had been, and hard. Probably a book, although I was apprehensive as I unwrapped it, eying it nervously and sort of hoping I was wrong, since no book that long could possibly be very interesting.

As it turned out, I -was- wrong; it was two books, not one, which admittedly made me feel a bit better. The fact that they were the first two Harry Potter books helped even more.

"I thought it was about time you read them, since you already saw the movies," Jen smiled, reaching over to ruffle my hair through my crown. "Besides, you could use something new to read, huh?"

I nodded, blushing as the camera's flash went off while I gave Jen a hug.

Caileigh got a hug, too, though she had to share it with the rest of her family, once they got home from work. They had all gotten me a bunch of new stickers, all kinds, more than I could count almost, and definitely more than I could fit into my sticker book, which had me worried until mommy had me open another one of the presents from her and daddy, and I found a whole new book to use, exactly like my old one, except pink instead of purple.

Caileigh's second hug, however, was all for her, since her second present had been from just her - a stuffed unicorn, with a shiny, rainbow colored horn. "It just reminded me of you," she shrugged as I threw my arms around her and thanked her again. I wasn't sure what her name was yet; hopefully she would get along with Mrs. Ellenstofalix. She probably would, since she seemed pretty quiet, like she wouldn't disturb the lazy dragon's sleep too much.

Once I had finished opening the rest of my presents - new colored pencils and crayons, and some more clothes, among other things - and everyone else had migrated to the kitchen to bring out the cake, which mommy said we could eat in the living room, since it was a special day and all, I leaned over and rested my crowned head on Caileigh's arm, still hugging my new unicorn. "You really were better at changing me than Jen," I whispered, smiling at the blush that spread over her cheeks.

She got to stay for cake and ice cream, but said that she needed to be getting home when mommy offered to let her stay for dinner. She promised to come see me again soon, and apologized once more before vanishing out the door, leaving us to our food, and the mini fashion show that followed as I tried on all my new clothes.

I left daddy and Jen to clean up the kitchen once we were done, returning to the living room to start taking all the rest of my stuff back to my room, and finding mommy already there, flipping through an old picture book.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" I asked, getting up onto my tip toes to try to peek around her arm.

Mommy smiled, moving the picture book to give me room to climb up into the chair with her, settling down on her lap happily, not even caring that the pictures had turned out to be boring ol' baby pictures after all, the same ones that she looked at every year, and I had mostly ignored as much as I could. I cuddled up next to her anyway, putting my head on her arm and listening to her turn the pages.

"Isn't this an adorable picture?" mommy whispered, making my eyes flutter open again, and I let me eyes move away from her face, over to the book, where I saw a baby version of myself staring back, along with some other girl. We were sitting on the ground together, next to our trees, hands covered in dirt, giggling.

If it hadn't been for the trees, I never would have realized the other girl was Nadine. She looked so much different; even her eyes were another color, blue instead of some undefinable dark color.

I blinked at the picture a couple times, confused, before I began to remember, vaguely, a day not too long after that picture had been taken. A day when mommy and daddy and Jen all left me alone with my babysitter, even though I didn't feel good, any more so than I had for a while. They had all been wearing black, and mommy was crying for some reason, but I never quite understood why. It had only been a day or two after that when Nadine cam bouncing into my room, apparently all better, bugging me to get up and play with her.

I guess it was around then that Jen stopped paying much attention to her, and Caileigh might have stopped then, too, although I didn't know for sure, since I had to stay in my bed for a long time after that, and didn't get to see Caileigh very much. Nadine would come over almost every day, though, keeping me company, bugging me to get out of bed. I'd complain about her to Jen, every once in a while, when I was feeling especially sick, but all she would do was smile sadly at me, open her mouth as if trying to explain something, then shutting it again and kissing my forehead.

I don't know for sure, but maybe... Maybe the Nadine from the real world had gotten switched with the one here, just like I had been, and maybe that was when it had happened, and why Jen and Caileigh didn't like her as much anymore. I'd gotten switched a lot earlier than her, of course, and so I had known the mirror Nadine before then. Ever since then she -had- been different, in a way I hadn't quite been able to place, at least once I started to notice it. And then, maybe that day, back when I'd gone back to the real world earlier in the summer, she had realized what had happened, and followed me back home.

But if that was the case... Where was the other Nadine now?

I was sill pondering that when daddy and Jen finished doing to dishes, and we started to watch my movie, even though it wouldn't be over until a little after my bedtime.

"It's your birthday," mommy smiled. "You can stay up a little later, I suppose."

So I did, and I eventually let myself get lost in the movie, curled up next to Jen on the couch until I decided to get a head start on my new sticker book, and I moved down to the floor, lying on my stomach while I drew up a big birthday party picture, bigger than any I would ever have, and started to put the guests around the big table. I didn't have time to finish before the movie ended, and mommy told me I could do it tomorrow, since, even if it was my birthday, I couldn't stay up -too- late.

I got my goodnight kisses, twice as many as usual, breathed a sigh on relief once mommy had come and gone, once more without diapering me. I'd had a few nighttime accidents, ever since mommy had made Jen stop babying me, mostly because I would wake up in the middle of the night and, forgetting I was free of Jen's torture, just let myself wet, expecting there to be a diaper there to take care of it. It hadn't happened all that often, and mommy would just smile and tell me "Accidents happen" every time it did, but I was sure her smile was getting a little more weary every time, and she was beginning to sound less and less convinced that was all there was to it.

I lay awake in my bed, even once they were all gone, and my room was dark, other than the glow of the night light, unable to get myself to go asleep. It had been a good birthday, sure, but there was just something missing. It didn't feel like it should be over, not yet. Despite blowing out my candles, all eight of them, and getting my birthday spanking, complaining the whole time, even though daddy just tapped my bottom lightly, I didn't feel any older.

All of my other birthdays had felt different, somehow, in a way that set them apart. This one had just felt like any other day, but with presents. There was just something wrong, and I couldn't quite figure out what I could do about it. It had always just happened before - the electricity in the air, the excitement that permeated the whole day, taking me over as if there was nothing I could do about it, nothing I could do to stop it. They had been different, special.

I glanced out of my window with a sigh, watching as the moon, all curvy and dangerous looking, climbed into the sky. He had come back, of course, and gotten back up to his full power, although it was waning once again now. And none of the stars had gotten free, or looked any happier, up there in the sky. The other me had failed after all.

I stared up at the moon for a long time, listening as Jen went into her room, although not to bed just yet, since, just barely, I could hear her radio playing through her door.

Maybe, I pondered, pulling my blankets up higher around me, I was old enough. Maybe, this year, I was expected to make the day special for myself.

Elizabeth

Chapter Thirty-Four

I had never realized just how long everyone else in my family stayed awake, until I decided to outlast them. I suppose it might have been a better idea to go to sleep, and hope I woke up before morning, since, when I did that, I usually awoke to a nice, quiet house. But I needed to make sure I got it done that night, and I couldn't think of any good way to assure that without risking waking everyone else up as well, which would sort of defeat the purpose.

So I waited, staring boredly up into the darkness hovering above my bed, not quite in reach of my night light. I couldn't see my clock, over on the other side of my room, since it wasn't a cool one like Jen had that actually came right out and told you what time it was. No, it was an old fashioned one, with hands and everything, that you didn't have a chance of reading in the middle of the night.

Whatever time it was, I knew that it was a long time after my bedtime, and Jen was -still- awake, unless she had fallen asleep with her radio on in the past few minutes. And mommy hadn't even told her to go to bed when she'd gone into her room to say goodnight not too long ago. That was so unfair! Did she even -have- a bedtime?! If it wouldn't have revealed that I had been awake that late, I'd have made a point to complain about it to mommy the next morning, and ask why I needed one if Jen didn't.

Stupid Jen.

I yawned, picking up my nameless unicorn, watching the faint light from the night light reflecting off of her shimmering horn. "You're very pretty," I told her, and she shook her head, blushing. "You are," I insisted. "I wish I was pretty like you." Mrs. Ellenstofalix rolled her eyes - was she jealous? I couldn't remember ever telling her she was pretty, since she wasn't really. Oh well. Too bad for her.

Something pretty deserved a pretty name, I thought to myself with a sleepy nod. I would have to think about it for a while, most likely. These sorts of things took time. And, with any luck, I would still have that, after the night was over.

Finally, I heard Jen's radio switch off, her door open, her feet moving towards the bathroom. After a few minutes, they moved back in the direction of her room, then stopped. I turned, eyebrows furrowing, then shut my eyes quickly as I saw my door opening. There was silence, other than my beating heart and my breathing, which I was sure was too loud.

"Goodnight, baby," she whispered, and I felt her lips brushing against my forehead. "Happy birthday."

Then my door shut again, and, a moment later, so did hers. I cautiously let my eyes open, my heart slowing back down to its normal rate. Had she known I was awake?

I made sure to wait extra long before pulling back my covers, just in case she had. I kept still as long as I could bear, although, since I had already been lying there for a long time, that didn't amount to much. I slipped on my flip-flops, briefly considering changing into some actual clothes, but figured that my shoes would be difficult enough to explain, if Jen was waiting for me after all.

At first, I'd considered sneaking out of my window, like I'd done in the real world, since that one had been a lot higher than the one I had in this room, and I'd survived just fine. Unfortunately, here my window had a stupid screen in front of it that I wasn't sure how to take off. Or put back in, for that matter.

I went into the bathroom first, in case she was, and because, after staying still for so long, I kinda needed to pee anyway. I didn't hear any doors opening, and, when I came back out, there was no light shining out from under any of the bedroom doors. A sigh escaped my throat at the sight, imagining my family slumbering inside those doors, wishing them all a cautionary goodbye.

I stood by the back door for a few minutes, drawing up my courage, forcing it into my hand, so that it could raise itself, grab the doorknob. I hadn't been outside this time of night very often, mostly just when we were driving to or from visiting Gramma and Grampa, and even then, I usually wasn't awake when we went from the car to the house. I had never been outside on my own so late. If I wasn't so much of a wimp, it would have been almost exciting. As it was, I mostly hoped that the monsters didn't leave the forest, when it was this dark out everywhere.

The door was quiet, thankfully, so that I doubted Jen could have heard it even if she was still awake. I slipped outside, a bit surprised that the night air felt so chilly on my legs and arms, where my pajamas didn't cover. Once I had stood there for a moment, though, I realized that it wasn't that cold after all, and I had already wasted enough time, so I started to close the door instead of heading inside for my coat, or clothes, or bed.

At the last second, I pulled the door open again, prompted by my tummy's sudden jump as I remembered that I would need to unlock the door, if I wanted to get back inside later. If I could.

I closed the door slowly, turning the handle to keep it from making the loud click it usually made when you just shoved it shut. I breathed a sigh of relief when I twisted the handle the other way, gave it a gentle tug to be sure it wouldn't blow open accidentally. So far, so good.

"It took you long enough," a voice said from behind me, familiar, yet different, and unexpected enough to get a jump and squeak out of me, before I clamped my hands over my mouth. The voice giggled nervously. "Sorry."

"You should be," I sulked. "It's not fair to sneak up on somebody on a top secret mission, you know."

"I know," Nadine apologized with a shrug, blue eyes still smiling gently.

I smiled, too, my whole face lighting up as I realized why she was different, or at least was pretty sure sure about it. "You wanna help?"

She nodded, "Why else would I be here?", held out her hand. I slipped mine inside, and we began our trek, trying not to think about how it might be our last. There were some things that had to be done, even if you failed.

I blinked and paused when we passed our trees - or mine, really, since that was all that was left, or all that should have been. And all that was, when I looked again, although I could have sworn I saw Nadine's standing there again, just a little taller than mine.

"C'mon," she urged, tugging at my hand. "We don't have much time."

I nodded, bending low as we crossed Caileigh's yard, since there were still a few lights on in her house, standing up again once we were in the field, hand tightening around Nadine's as I saw the expanse of darkness between us and the barn, hardly visible, so far away. I could see shadows slipping through the trees, just a little ways beyond that, waiting, prowling.

I swallowed nervously, eyes darting to my friend's face. She didn't seem to notice, but I could see her expression turning a little less certain. "It's the only way," she murmured, more to herself than me, although I nodded my agreement.

We stuck close together as we crossed the field, me doing my very best to keep my eyes fixed firmly on the barn, not moving downward to the grass, where any number of slithery things could be hiding, to the side, where the monsters were waiting, watching, in case we were thinking of moving into their territory, or up, in case the moon was watching us. I didn't want his attention. Not yet.

Nadine helped me open the barn door, although I guess we were both pretty tired, since it didn't feel like her assistance made much of a difference. After instructing her to wait outside, so that we wouldn't have to open the door any further than it already was, I slipped into the darkness. The door wasn't letting in enough light to show more than a tiny sliver of the bottom part of the barn, just enough to show me the way to the ladder. I stretched out my fingers in front of me anyway, to make sure I didn't run into anything on the way, although there never had been before. Better safe than sorry.

Why didn't I get Nadine to do this part? I wondered to myself as I slowly climbed up the ladder, hand frantically searching up the sides for the next rung. Not that her job was easy, either, but, now that I thought about it, far too late, it would have been better than this. I could see moonlight spilling out onto the loft floor above me, through the window, but it seemed miles away, way too far.

"You're my hero."

The voice echoed up out of my memory, swirling and twinkling around me before vanishing into the darkness again.

My hand tightened around the rung as I cleared my mind, ignoring the darkness pressing around me as I headed up towards the light. It didn't matter that I knew those stars had been wrong; I was here, and I was going to do the best that I could.

The loft, while lighter than downstairs, was still a bit darker than I'd have liked, especially as I crawled up into the hay, searching for my swords. Back there, it was nearly impossible to see anything - any moment I was expecting something to leap out and grab me. Unfortunately for them, I had a good idea of where I'd hidden the swords, so I could get back out quickly, walk over to the edge of the loft and toss them down onto the pile of hay there to free up my hands for the climb down.

"Here," I shoved the second sword into Nadine's hand as we walked back across the field and away from the forest, hoping she had learned how to use one in the real world, since the other me apparently had. She took it awkwardly, but, after a moment, her hand adjusted itself more comfortably around the hilt. We stared at each other for a long moment, eyes full of fear, determination burning behind that.

I let my head tilt upwards finally, let myself stare up into the face of my opponent.

"I think we have a little unfinished business to take care of," I told him, both of my hands twisting nervously on my sword, where I hoped he couldn't see them.

For a minute, I thought he hadn't heard, or didn't think I was serious. Then he came spinning down from the sky like a boomerang, landing in the grass in front of me, an amused smile on his face. "You mean to challenge me?"

I shook my head, surprised to find my voice working so well, when deep inside, all I wanted to do was turn and run, like I had last time I'd faced him, though possibly with a little more pants wetting beforehand. "-We- mean to challenge you."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather run away?" he asked, as if he were reading my mind.

I gritted my teeth, tightened my grip. "Not this time."

"Whatever you say," he shrugged his two pointy tips, a moment before flinging himself at us. I gasped, not ready yet, but, luckily, Nadine was, blocking him before I could even lift my sword, flinging him back away, spiraling towards the ground, where he sliced the tips off of a few blades of grass before spinning back up.

His eyes were beginning to turn red now, the color slowly draining out to the rest of his body as he came towards us again, this time aiming more for Nadine. She managed to keep him away from her, but he caught the blade of her sword in one of his curves before she could push him back, pulled it out of her hand, tossing it into the air.

I leapt forward, sword lifted above my head, bringing it down as hard as I could onto his back as Nadine ducked under one of his ends, glistening sharply with his own light. I managed to surprise him enough to give Nadine the chance to dive away, fingers wrapping around her sword again as she landed, foot sliding in the grass an inch or two before she ran back into the fray, just as the moon shoved me away, laughing.

"Did you honestly think you could hurt me with those?" he mocked, not even bothering to try to stop Nadine's blade, just wrapped one side of himself around it.

I rushed forward, slamming my sword down into his other side, nodding to Nadine quickly. We both pushed down, pressing him out of the air, down into the dirt, his back slicing into it easily. He was writhing wildly under our weight, but I managed to get my left hand free anyway, moving it to his face and touching him.

I thought about saying "Maybe this will," but was glad I didn't when I noticed that he was barely flinching, that the blue glow, while having returned, now all over my body - I guess since all of it had been through to the other world - was much, much fainter, as if most of it had already dripped away over the weeks between then and now.

The moon launched himself upwards, out of the slice he'd carved in the earth, sending me and Nadine flying backwards. He rose into the sky, spinning even faster, so that it looked like his body was a hoop, instead of half of one, buzzed straight towards me. I rolled out of the way, just barely having time to land and regain enough of my breath to do even that, much less avoid him another time when he turned and tried again.

After that, I could see him change direction, preparing for another pass, and I felt my fingers pressing more tightly around the hilt of my sword, a little surprised to find I was still holding it. I tried to lift it, to protect myself, but my arms were content to lay in the grass, useless.

What was the point, really, anyway, I wondered, closing my eyes so he wouldn't see my tears. I had lost. I'd screwed up, like I always did, like I knew I was going to this time.

But I'd tried. At least I could say that.

"Penni, get up!" Nadine screamed at me.

My eyelids sprang open in spite of themselves, finding my friend standing in front of them, over me, between my body and the moon, hands outstretched and bleeding as his body dug into them, arms quivering with strain.

"Finish him, Penni!" she commanded, voice almost more like the other Nadine, the one I was used to.

"I can't," I sniffled. "I can't do it!"

"Yes, you can," she said through gritted teeth, tears of her own starting to flow down her cheeks, turning into prisms in the light of her enemy shining in her face.

"I'm not the hero!" I cried, closing my eyes again, as useless as ever. Why had she even bothered stopping him? She had a better chance of beating him on her own, without having to worry about me doing something stupid again.

"You don't have to be," a voice spoke quietly. At first, I thought it was Nadine, but after a moment, I recognized it as one of the stars. I opened my eyes, found myself surrounded by them, twinkling merrily all around, as cheerful as ever. If there was one thing I had always admired about them, it was how happy they could seem, even when they were being held prisoner.

"But I can't hurt him," I told them, wishing they would understand. "I can't do anything."

"You'll think of something," they shone. "You always do."

"No, I don't!" I protested, shaking my head violently. "You're thinking of the other me again! I could never do what she does!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not a hero!"

The stars giggled. "But you're fighting the moon now, aren't you?"

I shrugged. "So what? I couldn't even do that without help! And we're just going to lose."

"Not today," they twinkled. "Look down, Penni."

I obeyed, confusion growing when I saw nothing but more stars, and the sword, still grasped between my hands. "I can't beat him with this," I told them, lifting the sword, getting ready to toss it aside, before I noticed the hilt was glowing blue. I forgot about the stars for a minute, watched as the glow from my hands dripped slowly down, landed on my sword, stayed there.

"That's our hero," they whispered.

When I opened my eyes again, they were gone, replaced once again with Nadine struggling. "Let him go," I told her, my voice calm, collected.

"Penni, I'm not going to let you..." Nadine protested, groaning.

I rolled my eyes, but I didn't have time to explain. I let go of my sword with one hand, long enough to push myself up and get my feet under me, then I stood, moving around Nadine as I did, bringing my hands together as I lifted the sword above my head. I saw the glow from my body streaming upwards, towards it, towards the stars we were protecting, moving along the wooden blade, transforming it, turning it into the sword I'd seen on my other desk.

Then I sliced, straight down, right through the moon's thin, sharp body, before he even had time to cry out. The two pieces fell out of the air, landing on top of one another on the ground. I saw Nadine stumble, suddenly free from her burden, but didn't have time to help her as I stabbed the sword down, through him again, this time pinning the two halves to the dirt.

I don't know how long I knelt there, panting, not daring to believe we had actually won. We. It didn't make me much of a hero, I knew, if at all, but I didn't care. Even if I couldn't do it alone, I'd still won, and that was something.

Finally, I allowed my mouth to form into a smile, glancing up at my friend as I announced, "We did it!"

But she wasn't there anymore. I looked around, confused, finally spotting a shape at the barn, walking slowly around it. "Nadine?" I called hesitantly, starting to get to my feet, eyebrows furrowed. She couldn't be leaving again so soon... Could she? "Nadine, don't go! Please, don't leave me alone!"

And then I saw them.

I got to my feet shakily, smile widening into a grin as I bent back my head, staring up at the night sky. As I slowly started to giggle, stretching out my arms and turning in a lazy circle, I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, eight wouldn't be such a bad age after all.

And the stars continued to fall, laughing and twinkling merrily while they spun around me, brushing lightly against my face, as if to assure me that they had known I could do it all along.

The End.